Don't Explain

by Audrey Dacey

  “The hospital needs you. When are you coming back?” Rob Breyer’s voice became tenser. Michael probably should have done a little more than leave a vague message in the middle of the night on Rob’s voicemail the night he left. Michael had only missed one shift so far, but his mind had been so far from work and so focused on either Margaret or Caitlyn that he didn’t remember to call Rob again to give him something more solid.

  Michael sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “What happened? Is everything alright?”

  “Margaret left me. I needed to get away, so I’m staying with a friend from college.”

  “Mike, you’re going to have to do better than that. There’s no broken heart leave.” Rob was a good guy, and they had been interns and residents together. They were friends, but Rob was now in charge of the ER and Michael’s boss. He was a little soft for it, but Michael had never taken advantage of that until now.

  “I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m across the country.”

  There was a brief silence. The door to the pub opened and shouts exploded through the open door. Michael moved a little further away.

  “I’m putting down that your uncle died.”

  “I don’t have an uncle.”

  “Good. He can’t die again.”

  Michael laughed, “Thanks.”

  “You have to be back to work on Thursday.”

  Michael wanted to say no. He wasn’t quite ready to go back, but he didn’t want to push it. Despite how nice Rob was being right now, he knew he was on thin ice. “I’ll be there.”

  Michael hung up the phone. “Damn it.”

  “Everything alright?”

  Michael turned to find Caitlyn standing beside him holding his jacket. “Fine.”

  “Game’s over. Ready to go?” Michael grabbed the back of her head and pressed his lips against hers. He was going to miss her. Miss this, but what could he do but enjoy it for what it was right now?

  “Absolutely.”

  #

  Caitlyn was screwed. She lay naked in her bed, waiting for Michael to come back from the kitchen. She couldn’t possibly imagine what he had in mind, but she didn’t have any sexy foods in her fridge: no chocolate, no strawberries.

  Somewhere between her mother’s house and beer number three, she thought it was a good idea to take Michael for what he was worth. Now that she had an hour without alcohol and another amazing orgasm, she recognized a sobering truth: old feelings are easily found.

  After the aftershocks of her climax dissipated, she was left with that empty feeling she always had when Michael took off on a date or she saw him disappear into his apartment with another blonde bimbo.

  Only this time, she was actually involved, and it was going to hurt a lot. The really pathetic part was that she could only recognize this when he wasn’t in the room.

  Michael walked into the bedroom, wearing nothing. She glanced over the lines of his muscular body. That right there was part of what was blinding her from the truth.

  “I made you a hot chocolate.” He held a mug out for her, and she reached out and grabbed it. This was the other part. He was too nice.

  She took a sip, and the liquid gently warmed her mouth.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  Caitlyn looked up at him as he sat on the edge of the bed and taking a sip of water from a glass. “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “You can’t say nice things too. It’s not fair.” Caitlyn took another sip of her hot chocolate and then set it on the bedside table.

  “How isn’t it fair?”

  “It’s too much. It’s too Michael-ey. It’s making me fantasize the impossible.”

  Michael laughed softly. “I like that you fantasize about me. I think you should continue to do it, and then let me know so that I can try to make them come true.”

  Caitlyn backed away a bit. “These are a little too wild. I don’t think that you could live up to them.”

  He set his glass down. “Give me some credit and a shot. You might be surprised.”

  He leaned in and sucked on her neck. “Does it involve something like this?”

  “You’re not even close,” she moaned.

  Michael ran a hand up her side and onto her breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and finger. “What about this?”

  “Not crazy enough for me.” Caitlyn’s body moved to his against her will. A heat was building between her legs, and she couldn’t ignore it.

  Michael grabbed her wrists tightly and pushed her back on the bed. He ran his mouth down the center of her chest, stopping only to suck briefly on each of her nipples.

  “Oh, Michael,” she moaned.

  “I must be getting closer.”

  “Don’t stop, please.” Caitlyn raised her pelvis to his, and he pushed inside of her.

  “I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”

  #

  Michael awoke the next morning to Caitlyn clumsily crawling back into bed with a cinnamon raisin bagel on a small plate. “You want some?” She asked as she balanced the plate high above her head to keep from dropping the food on the bed.

  “What time is it?” He sleepily replied.

  “Five.”

  “I think that I'll go back to bed instead.”

  “You can stay as long as you want, but I'll be leaving for work in half an hour.”

  “Don't you ever take a day off?” he said as he rolled to onto his side facing her.

  “Only on Sundays,” she stated plainly.

  “What if I asked you to stay home?”

  “I’d tell you that I just opened, and I haven’t earned any vacation time yet. Besides, my two customers will be upset if I don’t open at six sharp.”The toasted bread crunched as she took a bite.

  Michael yawned. “I thought you were a rebel.” He gave her a sleepy smile.

  “Go back to sleep; I have to get ready.”

  Caitlyn pulled the covers off her bare legs and headed to the shower. She thought about him holding her down, begging to know her fantasies, and she smiled to herself. A slight tingle began rising from below. With a deep breath, she convinced herself that there wasn't enough time to start again and to finish getting ready.

  As she was leaving, she looked at Michael sleeping serenely. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as she thought. He was the same friend that she enjoyed for four years and the lover that she wanted all that time. He wanted to be with her, to fulfill her desires.

  As she drove to her shop, she couldn’t help but begin making plans for the next few weeks. It seemed like he would be staying for a while since he was so eager to make her fantasies a reality. She decided that she was going to let this happen because he wanted it to.

  Halloween was quickly approaching, and it would be a great time to introduce him to all of the people around town. He could handle her mother, and in a few more visits she might really warm up to him. At that point, she might stop being what she considered overtly rude. Caitlyn figured he should check out of the motel that morning. There was really no reason for him to pay to keep his stuff there if he was going to be at her house all the time.

  She smiled the whole way to work and through her entire morning routine. She even decided to treat herself to a raspberry mocha with whipped cream. This is going to be a great day, she thought. Hell, it's going to be a great month.

  Suddenly she heard a quick rapping on the front door that slightly jingled the bells. Caitlyn jumped back and took in a deep breath answering the knock.

  Before she could figure out who was at the door the slim body barged past her yelling. “Are you kidding me? I waited up all night for your phone call and nothing.”

  Caitlyn smiled at the perfectly put together Alexis. It was fascinating to see someone so polished on the outside throw a fit over something that wasn't really her business.

  “I figured you were busy.”

  “You didn’t say goodbye. You just left me there, and then you didn’t call to tell
me what happened. What the hell?” Alexis finished her rant with, “I thought you were my best friend,” and a pathetic look on her face like a puppy caught in the rain.

  Caitlyn, however, was sensible of Alexis’s attempt to manipulate her into feeling bad and avoided the entrapment. “Of course you’re my best friend,” she replied with a smile on her face. “I was busy. That's all. Couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone.”

  A grin crept across Alexis's face, “How busy?”

  “As busy as I figured you were.” Caitlyn regretted for a moment having the nosiest person she had ever met as a best friend. She thought that she had wanted to keep everything a secret, and if this was the case, Alexis was not the person to confide in, but her excitement caused her almost immediately to pour out all the details of her weekend. So they sat down and Caitlyn told all, not with explicit detail, but with enough that she would not have to answer too many questions.

  Alexis stared at her friend in excited awe. “It’s probably not appropriate, but I am going to do it anyway. I’m proud of you for getting laid. It’s going to reduce your stress significantly.” While Caitlyn had gone out with a few men since meeting Alexis, she had not taken any of them home, and it had probably been five years since Caitlyn had sex.

  “Thanks. I guess.”

  “What’s next?”

  While Caitlyn had spent the bulk of the morning dreaming up very appealing futures, the question threw her off guard.

  “I’m not really sure. He’s going to stay with me for a while. I’ll probably show him around, take him to the pumpkin festival. Stuff like that.”

  “Halloween is three weeks away.” Alexis looked at her hesitantly, “Doesn’t he live in California?”

  “Yeah. It’ll get all sorted out. Right?” Caitlyn smiled at her friend in a way that begged her to say that it would be okay. So, Alexis smiled back at her and let her have the moment.

  CHAPTER 7

  Caitlyn laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, when she saw Michael drag himself up to the counter of the coffee shop the next morning. Michael shuffled in around nine thirty. His wet hair was matted against his forehead. His eyes drooped.

  “I don’t think that you have quite figured out the time zone thing yet.” She paused for a moment and gave him a bright smile. “You should have stayed in bed.”

  “Less abuse, more coffee,” he replied, suppressing a yawn. Caitlyn continued to laugh as she poured. A drop of the brown liquid jumped out of the mug and splashed on the counter. She slowly slid the coffee cup in front of Michael as she grabbed a moist towel from a bucket to wipe up her small mess. Michael contemplated making a comment about how it served her right for laughing at him, but he was too tired to be quick-witted this morning, and let it slide. Instead, “Do you have any bacon back there?” came out.

  Caitlyn shook her head. “Will a poppy seed muffin do?”

  “Not by any stretch of the imagination, but I'll have it anyway,” he stopped for a moment to glance her over and smiled. He didn’t know how she could possibly have any energy this morning. He worked very hard to make sure she didn’t. At least she still wore an afterglow, one that he didn’t want to fade until after he boarded the airplane.

  “Hey, what time do you get out of here?” He wanted to get her back in bed soon. While he was tired from the previous evening, he was ready to continue where they left off: her arms and legs entwined with his.

  Her shoulders rose steadily to her ears and then quickly dropped as she moved over to the pastry display case.

  “Depends. It's usually about two, but it can run later depending on how motivated I am to get out of here.”

  She carefully placed the muffin in the middle of the paper doily that sat on the small plate in her hand. She turned it a few times and put the bulk of her energy in positioning it perfectly. When it was up to her standards, she held it out for him.

  “Am I motivation enough?” he asked in a jesting but serious tone as he took the plate from her.

  Caitlyn ran her bottom lip across her top teeth. He was. But she jested back, “Not looking like that.”

  His attempt to get her to hurry and leave work early was wasted because she was already planning to get out of there as soon as possible. She too had hopes of resuming the previous night’s exploits.

  “You're really funny this morning,” he said sarcastically. “I'm going to take my coffee and muffin and leave.” She stared at him for a few moments waiting for him to turn and walk out, but he stood there unflinching. “You should come and sit with me.” She laughed again and started to untie her apron and walk around the counter. The apron dropped on a hook, and as she moved toward the table he had chosen she felt a small hand grab her by the arm.

  “Do you know what you're doing?” Alexis whispered, glaring at Michael.

  “What am I doing?” Her joking mood did not cease.

  “You need to be careful. I'm really glad you got laid, but you really need to protect yourself.”

  “It's a little late for that warning.” She smiled and shook off her friend's tight hold on her arm.

  “Caitlyn, I don't think you realize what you are doing. You’re falling for him. You’re only going to get hurt.”

  Alexis knew exactly how to piss her off. Caitlyn’s voice became stern. “What the hell is your problem? I know exactly what I am doing. Just because you would rather put more notches on your bedpost than have a relationship with a man doesn’t mean that I want that. Let me have this.”

  Alexis crossed her arms and spoke quietly. “I just don't…”

  “Want me to be happy?” she interrupted.

  Alexis stared into Caitlyn’s eyes. “You need to listen to me.”

  “I think you should leave. I don't want to deal with your flam-flaming right now.” Caitlyn crossed her arms across her chest to show that she was serious and ultimately creating a barrier between the two.

  Alexis rolled her eyes, “Whatever.” She grabbed her purse and coffee and left.

  Caitlyn took her place next to Michael at a small table in the corner by the windows. Her body grazed against him as she walked past. The feeling of his body reminded her of the rough and gentle touches of the night before and the night before that. For a moment, she considered locking the door behind Alexis and starting her afternoon before ten o'clock; instead, she let out a slow, deep breath to calm her senses.

  Caitlyn kept one eye on the door as she watched Michael hungrily eat his breakfast. He paused for a moment, “Why’d Alexis leave?”

  “She’s not playing nice right now. Once she’s acting like less of a grouse, she can hang out with us again.”

  Michael was a bit dumbfounded by the brashness of the comment—the girl who never picked a fight. For several moments they were silent.

  Caitlyn carefully studied the man before her. He seemed different to her. Different from college and different from yesterday. He was fidgeting, and he wouldn't look her in the eyes as he so purposefully did the night before. Generally, Michael was laid back, but in this moment he was distracted by something, and Caitlyn felt a flutter in her gut.

  “What’s your plan?” Michael finally broke the silence.

  Caitlyn didn’t know how to answer the question for Alexis, how was she supposed to answer it for Michael. “I don’t know.” Her chest got tight, and she held her breath, waiting for him to tell her what was next.

  “Well you have to do something to get butts in the seats of this place.”

  Caitlyn let out the breath. He was talking about her plans for Fine and Mellow. “I figured that if I made coffee and muffins they would come.”

  “Apparently that’s not the case. How much time do you have left?”

  “About a month. I can survive that long with business like that.”

  Michael sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Have you considered a promotion or a coupon or something?”

  “Not really. I can’t afford to give away free stuff.”

  “You didn�
�t make me pay for my coffee and muffin.”

  “You’re different. Friends and family don’t count.”

  “Say you did a buy-one-get-one free promotion. At least you’d be getting half the cost, and probably several new customers.”

  Caitlyn laughed. “While the people of Maple Field do enjoy a freebie, I can’t afford a long shot.”

  Michael sipped his coffee. “This is good stuff. If people had a taste, I think they would be addicted, but you got to get them in here first. Think about it.”

  “Fine.” It wasn’t going to happen. Coffee wasn’t cheap and giving it out for free wasn’t going to get her out of debt.

  “So…” Michael hung on the first word, stalling what was to come next. “I want to be upfront with you.”

  He paused.

  “I need to think about going home.”

  Caitlyn was silent for a moment, her head dropped and her body slumped over a bit. Her only reply was a barely audible “oh.”

  “I kind of left the hospital without much notice. I talked to my boss last night, and he wants me back to work by Thursday, which means that we would have a couple of days to be together. It’s more time than I thought he would give me, and I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

  Michael lowered his head to try and catch Caitlyn’s gaze with his own, but she knew she couldn't look up at Michael because she knew she would cry. The time she imagined earlier this morning was suddenly stripped from her, and she began to realize that she was right the first time: this was all a mistake. She was a vacation fling, a rebound, a fill.

  She thought he wanted to fulfill all of her fantasies, but now she realized that he was just talking about the sex. She felt like a cheap lay. She should have realized he was going to leave again soon. It was obvious; he lived in California. Alexis tried to warn her. She tried to warn herself, but she was too overwhelmed by him. She’d let go too soon. An empty feeling accompanied this realization.

  The bell on the door rang, but its beckoning went unnoticed.

  “You have a customer,” he said quietly, trying not to startle her out of deep thought.

  Looking up, she mumbled non-words and stood. Tugging at the bottom of her shirt to straighten it out, she moved toward the counter. Michael grabbed for her hand, but she shook it away. She sniffled back the tears that were trying to rise from her throat, and put a superficial smile on her face. Caitlyn began making the macchiato that the woman in front of her ordered, and as she waited for the espresso to brew she leaned forward against the giant metal machine and wandered off into her own thoughts.