He explored her body and gently caressed her soft skin. His hands travelled downward and paused between her warm and quivering thighs. He gently rubbed her there, trying to find that special spot, as he removed his shirt. Desire kissed his chest, a little desperately.
He guided her to the bed and gently laid her down. He kissed her gently in every place he could. He kissed her breasts, her abdomen and he almost climaxed tasting how sweet she was. He paused to look up at her. He needed to know that she wasn’t scared of him. She responded by wrapping her legs around him and kissing his hands. “Desire, you never have to do anything you don’t want to.” Desire looked down at him with tears in her eyes. “I love you.”
Johnny scrambled back up her body to look at her face to face. She kissed him passionately. He entered her and made love to her for what seemed like hours. They were like to halves that finally became one. He wanted their lovemaking to last forever, but just as he thought he could hold on forever, she screamed out in passion as she climaxed. Hearing her screams of passion brought him to the edge. His body jolted almost violently. He moaned with pleasure as she grasped his buttocks. He melted into her and collapsed onto her chest. He was breathless and lay there in total ecstasy.
Completely spent, they dozed off for a few peaceful moments until they were awakened by noise outside of Desire’s window. They both bolted upright and Desire crept to the window to peek out. “It’s just someone passing by with a huge cart of vegetables, probably heading to the Church.” She walked back over to the bed and lay down beside him. She gazed into his eyes and had never realized how stunning they were before. They were green like hers and were as vibrant as dew-covered blades of grass. She wanted to look into his eyes forever, but burning questions made her stop. “Johnny, I feel so confused lately, not just about you and me, but about everything, it seems. It’s like my mind is all jumbled up. Some things that should make sense logically don’t make any sense at all. Other things that shouldn’t make any sense just seem so right and for no reason except that I feel like they are right.”
Johnny did not need to know what she meant – he knew instinctively. He brushed a rogue red curl off of her forehead and spoke with her seriously. “Desire, now more than ever, I need you to trust me. We don’t have much more time today, but I want you to promise to trust me. I will arrange for us to spend some time together in the next day or two so that we don’t have to sneak around. But please don’t talk to anyone else about any of this and certainly don’t ask any questions that might seem the least bit peculiar or challenging. Your instinct tells you to trust me – go with that instinct. Okay?”
Desire obediently nodded.
“Now, no more questions. We need to get dressed and I have to leave before your Mama comes back home.” He leaned down and gave her a long and passionate kiss.
Before they dressed, he looked at the cuts and scrapes on her back. He pulled a small tube out of his shirt pocket and gently applied some ointment to them. He then helped her to get her blouse on. He looked at the heavy stockings and sweater and looked up at her with a strange look on her face.
“Desire, Nathaniel did not do those things to you because of the way you look. He did those things because he is evil and sick. You don’t have to worry about him hurting you anymore.” He kissed the top of her head and finished getting dressed. She wondered what he meant by that. Had he killed Nathaniel? Part of her hoped so.
She went downstairs alone and started to finish her chores. Johnny told her he was going to leave but she didn’t know how. She trusted him, so she did not question him. She had enough questions in her mind right now.
She spent the rest of the day beating the rugs, dusting the furniture and polishing the glass on the windows. It was almost three o’clock by the time she finished everything on her list. The house was sparkling clean and smelled wonderful. She almost let herself feel proud of all her accomplishments until she remembered the late morning’s interlude. Oh no, my bed!
She ran upstairs and looked at her disheveled room. The blankets were strewn all over and her pillows were scattered on the floor. She quickly fixed the bed and smoothed the sheets and blankets. She dabbed a little lavender oil on her pillows and opened one of her windows just a little to let in some cool fresh air. Looking at her bed, her morning with Johnny flashed before her eyes. She felt sure she was blushing.
She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She imagined him touching her and kissing her. When he entered her it was like a thousand fireworks were going off in her body all at once, but it felt so good. When they were one body, she wanted to stay like that forever. As she replayed their lovemaking in her mind, she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
She opened her eyes and saw him lying beside her. There was shattered glass everywhere on the road. His eyes were closed and she feared that he was dead. He had blood all over his face and his left arm was twisted in a funny way. She tried to call out to him, but she could not get any sound to come out of her throat. A large man in a heavy coat and strange hat came over to her. He looked very tough and dirty, but he had kind eyes. Then she saw other men. Someone put something very hard around her neck. She felt she was moving on some type of bed. The men lifted her into another compartment. They had put some tubes in her nose that were blowing air and she felt a sting in her arm. When she looked down she saw a plastic tube sticking out of it.
Another strange dream. Desire opened her eyes and saw that the sun was beginning to set. She stretched a little then sat up to get out of her bed. Knowing her father wouldn’t be home tonight, she decided to bake a meat pie.
She went down the stairs, secretly hoping that Johnny was hiding again, waiting to embrace her. She laughed at herself, thinking she was so silly. She continued down the steps.
It didn’t take her long to mix up a simple pastry crust. She quickly chopped up some carrots, potatoes, onions and celery then started making gravy. There was a plate of chicken already cooked in the fridge which she cut into bite-sized pieces. She threw the bones into the vegetable pot with some spices to add flavour. Once everything was done, she layered the pie and added a top crust and popped it into the oven.
She made herself some lemonade and took a glass out to the front porch. She sat and waited for her mother to return from her check-up and afternoon in the church. She could see a womanly figure approaching the house. It was getting quite dark out so she couldn’t make out details, but could tell it was her mother. There was someone else walking beside and as they approached her heart skipped a little beat. It was Johnny! She was so happy that he was coming back to her!
Her hands began to tremble with excitement – so much so that her lemonade sloshed around a bit. She watched them closely and could hear ever so slightly that they were speaking. Johnny carried a box and Mama carried a plate covered with a cheese cloth.
“Hello darling! Look who I ran into!” Mama cocked her head a little toward Johnny. “He was delivering some new chairs to the church and offered to help me carry all this nonsense home. I have a huge box of linen napkins that need to be pressed and folded for the celebration. I thought you could help me?”
“Of course I will. Good evening, Johnny.” She looked straight at him and surprised herself at how towel she could maintain her composure, despite her thumping heart.
“Good evening, Desire. I hope you are well today.” He paused and she saw his mouth curl up ever so slightly in a grin. “I am glad I ran into your mother today. We need to arrange some time this week to spend a day finalizing the games. Once that is done, we can make a list of what you will need for the games. I was also hoping, with the permission of your parents, that you might come to the workshop and help me finish painting all the toys I made for prizes.”
Desire looked at her mother. “Well darling, we will discuss this over dinner. I invited Johnny to eat with us, I hope you didn’t forget to make us something tonight.”
“I did not forget, Mama. Dinner is in the
oven.”
They walked into the house and the aroma answered her mother’s question. “Aw, you made one of your delicious meat pies. Perfect! I will go freshen up while you finish preparing the dinner and setting the table. Johnny, you can just set that box down in the corner over there.” She pointed to the corner by the back of the kitchen and then went upstairs.
Johnny put the box down and walked over to Desire. “What can I do to help?” When she looked up at him, he put a finger over his lips and made a very silent ‘ssshing’ sound. She knew he was telling her to stay calm and act normal.
Easy for him to say! The past few days have been anything but normal!
She asked him to fetch a large bowl from one of the top shelves. He reached up and grabbed it while she started making a salad.
He sat down at the table. She could feel his eyes on her as she finished setting the table and pouring some fresh lemonade. It suddenly felt a lot warmer in the kitchen, and she walked over and opened a window.
Her mother came back downstairs. “Everything smells lovely Desire. Do you mind serving the dinner while I sit here with Johnny and rest a bit?” Her mother looked around the house and smiled. “My goodness, this house is stunning! You must be exhausted from all that work today.”
Desire nodded. She took the meat pie from the oven and saw that it was perfect: Golden brown and bubbly. She put it on the counter and to let it rest for a few moments.
She served up a generous bowl of salad for each of them. They blessed the meal and ate their salad quietly. When the salad course was done, Johnny turned to Mama.
“Mrs. Winthrop, do I have your permission to spend some time with Desire this week? It will be work for the Celebration and you have my word that I will keep her safe and treat her with respect.”
I would rather he do the opposite and rip my clothes off in the middle of the work shop and play some games with me. Desire’s cheeks flushed a little. I am a bad girl. Truthfully, she didn’t care because being with Johnny was the only thing that felt right anymore.
“Johnny, Desire’s father and I have talked about this, knowing that he would gone to Work for most of the week. Mr. Winthrop likes you quite a bit Johnny, and he trusts you. I will only tell you this once though. Mr. Winthrop does not give his trust out lightly, and if you were to break that trust, you would be punished severely. Now dear, I am not saying this to frighten you, but as you well know, he does not tolerate bad behaviour.” She paused for a moment and motioned for Desire to come over.
“I am not blind, you two, I can tell there is a strong chemistry between you two and truthfully that makes me happy. My instincts tell me that you will be good to my daughter. However, there are rules in this community and in this house and you two must remember those rules. Desire has learned the hard way that punishments are not light around here, and I am helpless to stop them. So, you two must behave yourselves. Desire, you may not understand all of this, but I know Johnny does. You have an opportunity here, young man. Don’t blow it.”
Johnny nodded.
Mama continued. “Mr. Winthrop has told me he is fine with you two spending time together to work on the activities for the Celebration. There are to be no unsupervised visits after dark, however. You two may not spend time together alone in this house. Going to the workshop is fine, knowing that Johnny’s father is there to oversee things and his mother is right next door in the house. Johnny is welcome to join us for family meals and visit after dark when one of us is home. Once your father returns, he will discuss formal courting and expectations with Johnny.”
They both smiled and said nothing. Desire dished out the meat pie and served the plates. The aroma from the pie was mouth-watering. As they ate, they talked about the upcoming Celebration. It was decided that Johnny would meet Desire outside of church tomorrow after Bible study and he would take her to his father’s workshop for the afternoon.
“Should I pack a lunch basket, Mama? I don’t want to put Johnny’s mother out.”
“That is a very good idea. You can do that tonight and take the basket with you in the morning.”
When they were done with their supper Desire cleared the table and Mama brought over the plate covered with cheesecloth. Underneath were about a dozen different types of sweets.
“The church ladies and I experimented with recipes today so that we could finalize the selections for the sweet table at the Celebration. We divided them up to bring home and share with our families. Try them all and be sure to tell me which ones you like most.”
They all sampled the desserts: Brownies with frosting and toasted walnuts, lemon balls rolled in powdered sugar mini tarts with fruit filling and about half a dozen kinds of sweet squares. AS Mama started a pot of tea, Johnny swallowed his last bite of brownie and accidentally let out a huge belch. Mama turned around. “Well! Thank you Johnny! A belch at the end of the meal is considered a compliment to the chef.” She turned to Desire and burst out laughing. Then Desire and Johnny started laughing too.
When the laughter died down, Mama composed herself. “Oh please excuse me, that was completely inappropriate, but the truth is I really just needed a good laugh.”
Desire most definitely needed a good laugh and it felt good to just be silly for a moment, especially given how intense that last couple of days had been. She served the tea and they all stifled a few last giggles.
After they finished their tea and the giggles subsided, Johnny rose from the table. “Good night ladies. Thank you for a wonderful meal and your hospitality.” He nodded to Desire’s mother and then turned to Desire, his back to her mother. “Desire I will meet you outside of the church tomorrow after Bible study.” He flashed her a huge grin and winked. She looked at him trying not to blush.
“I will be sure to pack us a delicious lunch.” That was all she could manage to say and maintain her composure.
He left and disappeared into the night. She watched him walk away for a couple of minutes and then turned to help her mother to help finish tidying up from dinner.
“Desire that was such a nice evening. Johnny is such a gentleman. I am sure your Papa will be pleased that he kept an eye on us while he was away.” Mama continued to tidy up and then went into her sewing room. Desire said goodnight and headed upstairs.
She filled the bathtub with hot water. She dropped in some lavender oil and fetched some clean towels. She slowly undressed while hot steam filled the room and she realized she was utterly exhausted. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she no longer saw a silly little girl, but a young woman who was struggling to understand the world around her. She gently lowered herself into the tub. The scrapes on her back stung a little again in the hot water but quickly subsided.
The water felt heavenly and the faint smell of lavender helped her relax. She had so many questions, but felt too exhausted to worry about the answers for now. She closed her eyes and pictured her Johnny. He was almost all she could think about. What was the connection she felt to him? Is that what true love felt like?
Her mind wandered to the incident with Nathaniel. Thinking about it brought back the feelings of fear and humiliation. The feelings were so intense, just thinking about it made her feel very vulnerable. She felt an overwhelming compulsion to expose Nathaniel to that exact level of humiliation. If Johnny hadn’t showed up when he did… she shuddered to think of how much worse it might have been. She washed herself slowly and carefully, trying to relax in the warmth of her tub. Despite convincing herself she was okay, a part of her still felt nervous about walking out in public to Bible study the next morning. What if Nathaniel was alive and was looking for her? What if he wanted to finish what he started? Her naïve curiosity was buried beneath the fear that simmered under the surface. She felt certain that her days alone romping in the forest were over. How could she possibly go to the forest for solace while feeling terrified of being attacked? How could she go exploring in the little corners of the town where no one ever went without fear that he was following
her? She couldn’t and she wouldn’t. Despite what some people might consider fearlessness in her, it was really just boldness in what was once a safe world for her. It’s easy to be fearless when there is nothing to be feared.
She got out of the tub, dried off and put on her nightgown. She happily crawled into her bed and snuggled in beneath the cover. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt Johnny’s strong arms embracing her. She wondered how he got there, but not for long. She felt too happy to be snug in his embrace. He lay beside her and held her tight.
Chapter Fourteen
Desire found it difficult to concentrate during Bible study because she couldn’t wait to see Johnny. She tried to pay attention to the lesson, but her mind kept drifting. Today, they were learning about how a woman should behave around men, particularly important now that they were young women in the community.
Blah, blah, blah. I mean really, they plan to start a new law that states we have to walk behind our husbands in public! How ridiculous! And what purpose will it serve? The Minister actually believes this is a sign of respect for all men in and an acknowledgement that we are here to serve them? This all seems a little extreme.
Desire recounted the morning. She had woken up just before sunrise – alone. Johnny, of course, had left quietly during the night. On her bedside table, however, stood her little wooden figure. She grabbed it immediately and popped it open. Inside, she found a new note. Looking forward to a wonderful afternoon with you. J. She tingled as she read the words.
Desire got up and dressed quickly and went downstairs to pack their lunch. She made roast beef sandwiches with on fresh sourdough bread. She packed cookies and fruit and a bottle of fresh lemonade. On top of it all, she placed a picnic blanket. She left to walk to town.
The other girls were watching her as she entered Bible study carrying her basket. She felt sure that their curiosity was getting the better of them. Tired of their snooty looks, Desire just smiled and bid them all a good morning.
Who We Are Page 12