When she finished, she inspected the inside of the wardrobe for secret compartments, but found none. Then she opened the large drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe and removed Mama’s sweaters and underclothes and packed these too. .
She looked around the room to find any other items that might belong to Mama. She spotted the nightstand and went over to look in the drawers. In the top drawer, Desire found lace handkerchiefs. Putting one in her skirt pocket, she placed the rest in the sac. In the middle drawer, Desire found a Bible; she left that in the drawer. The bottom drawer was empty except for a few loose pieces of paper. She inspected them, but they were all blank.
She then went into the bathroom and removed Mama’s hairbrush and toothbrush and put them in the sac. There was a full bottle of lavender bath oil on the side of the tub that had never been opened. When she opened the small cabinet on the wall beside the sink it was full of unopened bottles of lavender oil. There had to be at least three dozen bottles. Desire thought that the smell of the lavender must have brought back terrible reminders of the horror in the City that followed her first tub bath full of lavender her first night in the City. Not sure what to do with all these bottles, she threw them all in the second sac. She felt certain that all of this would be destroyed, but given the imminent events in the community, worrying about waste was futile. Desire then reached for Mama’s little tin box that held her beautiful hairpins and combs. One in particular had a large metal butterfly on the top of the comb with beautiful gems and colours. These items seemed so personal, she could not fathom throwing them in a sac to be destroyed. She left the tin in the bathroom. She took the robe and nightgown hanging off the hook on the bathroom door and folded them neatly into the second sac.
Desire carried both sacs downstairs, tightened the tops and tied the strings. She went to the front porch and put the sacs on one of the chairs. And that was it. Desire knew that once the sacs were gone, it would be as if Mama never existed.
Although her heart was hurting for Mama and all she had been through, Desire knew she needed to stay strong. There was too much at stake right now and allowing herself to feel vulnerable would jeopardize both her and Johnny. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. She forced herself to picture all that she held dear. She saw Patrick as a toddler calling to her and running across the grass in their backyard to hug her. She pictured her and Aedan at his senior prom. She pictured her parents. She pictured herself at a Patriots game with her dad and him slipping her sips of his beer. She pictured her mom making her famous football Sunday chili and nachos. She filled her mind with pictures of happy memories.
Sarah Jane had warned her and Johnny that they would not be able to step back into their lives and deep down she knew this to be true. But she refused to accept the fact that she would never again see her family if she made it out of Hemac alive. What They may not have realized when They launched the experiment is the Irish remain deeply connected to their roots. This included the strongest blood blonds that reached way back to their homeland of Ireland. She felt positive that they would reconnect.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Aedan woke up early but remained in his bed, trying to figure out how they could escape the night of the Celebration after they had been accounted for and before the hall was sealed off. Originally, Aedan had expected that he and Darby would have to live on the run, looking over their shoulders constantly. But since Sarah Jane shared what she knew about their scheduled demise, Johnny knew he had to think differently. Now they had to escape knowing that They would seek them out.
He pounded his fist on the bed. “Damn! Damn! Damn!”
His anger had been bubbling just below the surface and he was not sure he could control it much longer. He felt angry that he and Darby’s life had been cruelly ripped away from them. He missed his parents, he missed his brother and he missed his life. He should be in Boston right now halfway through his law degree and Darby should be in nursing school! But most of all, he felt haunted by Nathaniel’s attack on Darby. It was violent and cruel and it would haunt him until the end of his days. He had been so careful to watch over and protect her, and when she needed him most, he had failed her.
He got up from his bed and went into the bathroom to splash water on his face. He decided to take a shower and turned the water on extra hot. He stood under the steaming hot water for a long time. Although the water was almost too hot, it soothed at the same time.
When he finally shut the shower off, he wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked over to the window at the front of the room and all his anger dissipated. Darby was approaching and to him she looked like and angel from Heaven to save him from himself. He quickly dried off and dressed so he could greet her at the door.
Before Darby could knock on the door, Aedan opened it. They both stood there for a moment and smiled at each other. They could both sense the fear in each other’s hearts, but the love overpowered this fear and without speaking they silently comforted each other.
Conscious of being watched, he greeted her politely and invited her in. Darby, also conscious of watchful eyes, declined but did extend the invitation to dinner on behalf of her father. She explained to him that she needed to tend to the vegetables as it was now her responsibility to assure that their gardens were intact. She told him that this would be consuming the majority of her days for at least the next week as it was almost time to harvest and start preserving.
He understood. They bid each other a good day and Darby walked away towards the town.
The brief encounter with his love calmed his nerves. As he walked back into his house, he realized how lucky they were that her memory had returned prior to them leaving Hemac. Desire was so innocent and easily swayed. She didn’t seem to have the mental acuity and inner strength that Darby had. Now that Darby was herself again, he found comfort knowing that she would be less likely to slip up and expose them. Darby was such a strong determined young woman. He couldn’t imaging loving anything or anyone as much as he loved her.
Chapter Thirty
Desire entered the Church and headed downstairs where the ladies of the town would be busy continuing their preparations for the Celebration. When she opened the door to the basement, she went down a small hallway. She normally attended Bible study in the classroom but today she would go into the room where the ladies worked, which was down the hall to the right of the classroom. When she entered the room, all the ladies looked up and paused for a moment before swarming her with hugs and condolences. A little overcome by emotion, a few tears welled up in her eyes.
“Whatever are you doing here, my dear?” one of the ladies asked her.
Desire wiped a few tears from her eyes. “My Papa has informed me that I am to take Mover my mama’s responsibilities until such time that he can find a suitable wife. So I thought I would come here to ask about what you might need for the Celebration, whatever Mama was responsible for.” She looked at all the ladies looking up to her and understood how good this must have felt to Mama. Here, she had been important and she was somebody.
Mrs. Proctor came bustling toward her from the far end of the room. “Oh dear child, I am sure your Papa didn’t mean this. It’s too soon.” She hugged Desire warmly.
“Darling, despite your childish mischief, you have grown into a fine young woman. Seeing you here today would have made your Mama feel very proud. But you needn’t worry about us. Your Mama was very organized and planned everything out well. At this time, we are just taking care of the last-minute details. Taking over the household responsibilities is enough for you to tackle for now and you need your time to rest and adjust. There are plenty of meals in your icebox to warm up and we can always bring more if you need us to. For now, you go home and tend to your house and to your heart.” All the ladies nodded in agreement. “Thank you Mrs. Proctor. I am a little overwhelmed and appreciate the extra time to make sure our house remains in order. Not to mention our vegetables are almost ready to harvest so I need to spend extra t
ime in the fields tending to them.” She paused for a moment and as she did so, she pictured the games and toys she had prepared for the Celebration. Her heart quickened just a bit. How could they escape unnoticed when all the children would be looking for their fun and games?
“I do have one worry Mrs. Proctor,” Desire said.
“Yes dear, tell us please.”
“Well I am supposed to run the Fun and Games at the Celebration, but the truth is I am not sure that I will be much fun whilst still grieving the loss of my mother. I think it may be better for someone else to oversee this. All the games and prizes are finished, so it would not be a great deal of work for somebody else to this on. I could ask Johnny to bring the boxes of prizes, games and instructions to the Hall, if you could find a suitable replacement.”
Mrs. Proctor smiled warmly. “Oh dear, having you been preparing for that? Did no one tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
Mrs. Proctor grimaced. “Well, the decision was made a while back that the four little ones would not be attending the Celebration. It was decided that they will go to Clinic and the staff their will mind them for the night.”
This sort of came as a relief to Desire, thinking that perhaps the children would be spared from an awful fate. But perhaps also they were being put aside for some new experiment. She would have to think on that later.
“Oh. Okay. No, I did not know that. Well, if there is anything I can still do…”
Mrs. Proctor took her hand and started to lead her away from the group of women. “Well, you could run upstairs and catch Tobias. He has the final list of jobs and duties. I am sure he can find you something else to do. Then do go back home rest, okay?” Mrs. Proctor hugged her once more before turning and going back to an ironing board where she was pressing a huge pile of linen tablecloths.
It took everything in her to keep up this charade and try to pretend that she was oblivious to the true horror of the children’s predicament and the cruelty that was about to befall the entire community. The reality was that the chances of her and Johnny getting out alive were very slim and if they did escape they were running to a future that would more than likely have them looking over their shoulders and living in hiding.
Desire went upstairs. As she walked down the centre aisle, she saw Tobias sitting in one of the front pews. He heard her approach and turned his head. When he saw it was Desire, he smiled and motioned for her to come and sit down.
“Desire, sweet child, how are you doing? What are you doing out so soon?”
She sat down beside him. “Well, I am the woman of the house now and Papa has asked me take over Mama’s responsibilities for a little while. I went downstairs to see to the ladies and offered to help, but they excused me and assured me they had everything under control. Since the fun and games have been cancelled, they suggested I come talk to you about anything I can help with for the Celebration.
He nodded very slightly. “Of course, my dear.” He fumbled through the lists he had in front of him and read them to himself up and down. “Let me see now.” His brow furrowed and he looked deep in thought. He looked up and she thought she saw him wink at her.
“A-ha.” He turned to her. “There is a very important job that your Mama was going to be responsible for as head of the Planning Committee. As you know, the Celebration is intended to be enjoyed by every member of our community. As such, the official Celebration program cannot commence until every member is present and accounted for. Your Mama had the responsibility of checking every person in upon arrival. Once everyone arrives, then the doors to the Hall will close and the Celebration can begin.”
He paused and looked at her. She could see in his eyes that he too knew what was coming. “When that is done, you simply leave the roster on the check-in table and ring that bell that all are present and the Celebration can begin.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Unless you do this most important task, the Celebration will not be as you hope it will be.”
She could hardly contain her emotions. This was it! This was the solution to hers and Aedan’s dilemma. It seemed too perfect. Keeping calm, Desire only nodded in understanding.
“So,” Tobias continued, “You must arrive at the Hall 30 minutes before people start arriving. This is a big job for one person, so I trust that you will find a suitable helper?” He winked at her and got up. “I have to go now, Desire, as I have a lesson to plan for tomorrow. You run home now and tend to your responsibilities.” Tobias turned and walked toward the back of the church and disappeared through a doorway. She sat for a, fully cognizant of the fact that she was probably being watched. She got up and walked out of the church and headed home.
Even though Papa had given her the day off, so to speak, Desire completed the household chores when she got home: Laundry, washing floors dusting and polishing. She wanted to whiz through them or not do them at all, but knowing she was being watched she was careful to complete her chores in an orderly and normal fashion.
She fixed herself a small lunch and ate alone at the kitchen table. Once the dishes were tidied she grabbed her vegetable basket and a few hand tools for tending the garden. Lastly, she grabbed her garden gloves and her sunhat. She left the house by way of the back door and fought the urge to give the finger to whomever might be watching.
She walked through the fields and fortunately all the vegetables that were ready to harvest were toward the back of the field, almost out of sight of the neighbours and behind the bushes that allowed her safe passage into the forest. When she got to the bushes, she scooted behind them and laid down her basket, tools and sunhat.
As she approached the entranceway to the forest a chill ran up and down her spine and her heart started to race a little. She had not been in the forest alone since the day Nathaniel attacked her and she was scared to go in now. She tried to go in, but as she did so, her body started to shake. She had a flashback to that awful day. She immediately turned around and left the forest. She cowered behind the bushes for a moment, shaking uncontrollably. She focused on slowing her breathing down, but kept her eyes open to avoid seeing a replay of that awful afternoon in her mind’s eye. When she managed to compose herself, she sat up to a more comfortable position. She would wait here for Johnny and hoped he wouldn’t take too long.
She put her hat back on because the sun was blazing in the sky and her head was getting quite hot. As she was tying the ribbon under her chin, she heard a rustling in the forest. Feeling a bit nervous, she scurried to the other side of the bushes. As she peeked around the side of the bushes, she heard the rustling again and sounds of twigs snapping. She hoped it was Johnny but until she knew for sure, she would hide here. As she waited, the world around her seemed to get eerily quiet and all she could hear was her own breathing. It seemed so loud in her ears that she felt sure whomever was near would hear. Her heart was pounding so fast and hard, she feel it beating in her chest.
As she peeked ever so slightly around the bushes, she could distinguish a figure coming in her direction, but couldn’t make out who it was. She popped back behind the bushes and waiting to see if the figure came closer. She tried to convince herself that she was being silly, that of course it was just Johnny, but she was not prepared for how she felt approaching the forest all alone, and feeling so afraid scared her just as much as the fear of being attacked. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she had actually been afraid of something real.
She peeked around the corner of the bush again and screeched a little to see someone standing right in front of her. The sun was blinding her and all she could see was boots and legs. The fear welled up inside of her and she tried to stand, but she fell backwards. She was shaking so badly all over she couldn’t get coordinated enough to stand up. She felt two arms reach for her and was about to start shouting at the top of her lungs when she heard his voice.
“Darby! It’s me, Aedan. It’s okay! No one is ever going to hurt you again.”
He reached down and lifted her up int
o his arms. His body shielded the sun in her face and she could see him looking down at her. She buried her head in his chest with relief. She felt so safe in his arms. He too had flashbacks of Nathaniel attacking her every time he came into the forest and he knew how it made him feel. He felt nauseous and angry every time he thought about it. He couldn’t imagine how his sweet Darby must feel reliving that dreadful incident.
“Oh Aedan, I am so glad it’s you. I don’t know what happened. I thought I would be fine, but when I got to the edge of the forest here I started to have flashbacks and then my heart started racing and I couldn’t stop shaking. I was filled with so much fear that he would be waiting here for me. Then when I hid behind the bushes until you came the sun was blocking my eyes and I couldn’t see who it was. All I could see were boots and legs! Oh no, I think I am going to be sick!”
Darby loosened herself from his embrace and ran a few feet away to vomit. Aedan knelt beside her a rubbed her back. When she had nothing left to bring, she sat back. He offered her a handkerchief and she wiped her mouth.
“I have got to get a hold of myself! I feel like my mind is spinning so fast with different thoughts and plans that I may freak out at any minute!”
“Darby, I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how that attack has affected you and I don’t know how I can make it better. But I can tell you how much I love you and I promise to you that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.”
Darby felt better already just being there with him. “Oh Aedan, I think part of it is that there are so many things to be afraid of and it’s like we are walking around in a ticking time bomb. This whole thing is overwhelming and my biggest fear is that every time we part, I don’t know for certain that I will see you again!” She sighed and smiled weakly at him.
Aedan looked back at her with soft eyes. “Well, we have every right to be afraid. I am afraid too even if I don’t show it on the outside. But I think the fear will keep us on our toes and force us to keep our guard up. Just a couple of more days and we will be free of this place.” As he said, this she detected the uncertainty in his voice.
Who We Are Page 26