She dressed and brushed her hair. Unsure of what to expect this morning, she hurried downstairs, ironically to the safety of the monitoring devices. She started brewing coffee and preparing breakfast as usual. Just as she was just finishing up, she heard Papa coming down the stairs. Desire did her best not to react outwardly, but she felt like jelly on this inside. As he stepped off the last stair and into the kitchen she turned to bring him a cup of coffee.
“Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well last night?” He was speaking as though nothing at all unusual had occurred last night.
“Yes Papa, thank you. I slept very well.” She turned back around and fixed their breakfast plates. As he chatted with her about the weather, she looked into his eyes. That ominous look from last night was gone and he seemed to be his usual self. Sadly, she knew that much of his actions were out of his control and she found it difficult to stay mad at him. He was simply a pawn in this awful game as well.
As they ate their breakfast together, she noticed something for the first time. Up until her memory had been restored, she had always seen him as her father. But as she looked at him now through Darby’s eyes, it occurred to her that he was not very old himself. In fact, she would be surprised if he was much more than mid-twenties. She recalled what Mama had told her about how Papa was born into this world. Although she felt curious about it, she quickly decided that she had enough on her mind to worry about right now. She simply couldn’t fit one more question in there to ponder among all the other thoughts, feelings and questions buzzing around her head.
Desire finished her breakfast, anxious to get through the next few days without any more events or surprises. In fact, if she lived the rest her life uneventfully and without surprises, that would be just fine with her!
When Papa finished, he got up from the table to leave. “Desire, I will be home late today and will eat at Work so go ahead and make yourself something for dinner. Today, I want you to go about doing your chores as usual and do whatever it is your Mama would normally do. If you like, you can go to the church in the afternoon to offer to help the ladies, or perhaps go through your Mama’s sewing to see if there are any projects that you can finish up.”
“Yes, Papa.”
Desire got right to work. She started with some laundry and hung it on the line beneath a warm sun and cotton ball-like clouds floating in the sky. She then sat on the back step for a few moments and tried to decide how she would fill the rest of her day. She wanted to stay as busy as possible for the next few days to avoid feeling anxious about everything. She knew there was enough food in the icebox for a small army so cooking was out of the question. Then she remembered that Johnny had asked her to see if there was anything of value in their house. Searching the main floor was not possible without raising suspicion so she thought she would start in the cellar. She went downstairs, bringing a small lantern with her.
She still found the cellar creepy, but she wasn’t afraid to be down there alone. She looked around to see where she could start. Anything they took would have to be small. As she fumbled about, she remembered a few crates and a large trunk pushed against the wall. She made her way over to far side of the cellar and pulled out the two crates, a couple of chairs and then tugged and tugged until the large trunk was out far enough so that she could open it completely. She fiddled with the rusty latch and was glad that it wasn’t locked.
She removed a layer of tissue that covered its contents. The first row was mostly junk: Odd tea cups, water glasses, a few old plates and saucers. She removed these to find a small wooden box atop some old blankets. She pulled the box out and unlatched it. She couldn’t believe her eyes as she peered inside. The box was filled with golden necklaces, pendants, earring and rings with very ornate designs. Some of them had precious gems embedded in them. She giggled in delight as she scooped all the jewels out of the box and stuffed them in her pockets.
The rest contained old blankets and shoes. How odd that hidden among all this junk she found these precious treasures? When the trunk was completely empty, she felt around to see if there were any hidden compartments. Convinced that she had searched thoroughly and finding nothing more of value, she repacked the trunk not really concerning herself with the order of anything. She pushed it back into the corner and turned her attention to the crates. These were mostly just junk. So she piled these back against the trunk.
She shoved everything back and looked around. Unless there were treasures hidden in their preserves, there was nowhere else to look. She tapped her skirt pocket, quite pleased with her find. Heading up the stairs, she knew she would be on camera the minute she hit the kitchen so turned and went into the cold room and grabbed a jar of jelly off the shelf.
She headed back upstairs and when she got to the kitchen she fixed a cup of tea and a biscuit with jelly for the benefit of those who may be watching her.
After she ate, she grabbed her sunhat and vegetable basket and headed out the back door under the guise of picking some fresh vegetables. When she got to the back porch she grabbed a piece of cheesecloth that was hanging over the back of one of the chairs and shoved it in her basket.
The sun was blazing hot in the fields and she could see a lot of her neighbours were out picking as well.
Oh shit, what if I can’t make it to the bushes undetected?
Determined to hide her finds under the bushes for Johnny, she reached into her basket and pulled out the little garden hoe. She found a spot in her field where she could see all the other neighbours who were out tending to their gardens. She knelt down and began to weed for their benefit. She worked slowly and methodically. As she looked at all the beautiful vegetables growing around her, she laughed a little bit.
The real me had never been able to make a bean seed grow for a school project, but just look at me now!
She could live off of what she was growing in this immense field. Suddenly, she had an idea. She picked up her basket and headed back into the house. As she approached her back stoop, Mrs. Proctor was also coming in from her field.
“Good morning, Desire. You must be a lot more efficient than me to be done so quickly.” She chuckled as she said this.
“Oh good morning, Mrs. Proctor. I am afraid not, but I didn’t realize how hot it was out today so I thought I better come and get a bottle of water to take with me so I don’t sizzle up in the sun.”
“Oh that is a good idea.” She paused and then added, “Are you doing all right dear?” She asked this with genuine concern in her eyes.
“Oh well, I guess as good as can be expected, but I think if I keep myself busy that will help me feel better over time.”
Mrs. Proctor gave Desire an approving look. “Well good for you. You know you can call on me if you need any help or advice.”
Desire thanked her and ran inside. That was close, but she was getting used to thinking on her feet. She went inside to get a bottle of water just in case Mrs. Proctor was watching her and then she went out to the garden box on the back porch. She picked through it until she found what she was looking for. There was a bunch of little canvas bags at the bottom that contained all the leftover seeds from planting. Who knew what the future held for her and Johnny? They may have to rely on themselves for food and the idea of growing it appealed to her a lot more than stealing it. She put these into her basket and headed back out into the field, bottle of water in one hand and basket in the other. She stopped here and there to pull some weeds and slowly made her way back to the bushes. Kneeling down she went up and down the rows until she looked up and all her neighbours had gone in, presumably for lunch.
She slowly inched her way behind the bushes and quickly went to work. She laid the cheesecloth out and then pulled the jewels from her pockets. She placed them along with the little sacs of seeds and a handheld shovel and rake in the middle of the cheesecloth. She pulled up the cross corners and tied it snugly. Then she took a ribbon from her hair and secured it tightly around the top. She placed the sac under the bushe
s, but not so far in that Johnny wouldn’t see it.
Still feeling nervous about being so close to the forest alone, she inched her way back into the field where she continued to tend vegetables for about another half an hour and then headed back inside. She dumped the vegetables she had brought in on the counter.
Tired from being in the blazing sun so long she headed upstairs. She washed her face with cool water and then lay down on her bed. She drifted off to sleep almost before her head hit the pillow.
She was standing in the middle of the Hall all alone. She had on her pretty dress that Mama made for her and she looked around. There was a sweets table, a games table and food as far as the eye could see. There were ribbons, balloons and streamers everywhere and it pieces of glitter seemed to float in the air. She looked around wondering where everyone else was. Why had no one else come to the Celebration? She walked to the back of the hall behind the partition that separated the hall from storage and restroom area. She looked around there was no one there. She came back and the large door that separated the storage area from the main hall slammed shut behind. It was so loud it startled her and she jumped backed a bit. As she walked around the partition and into the hall, she started to scream. Everyone was there. They were all on the ground and they looked like they were dead. She covered her mouth to silence her own screams. She tried to climb over the bodies to reach the front door, but she kept falling. There were so many familiar faces. She saw Constance and Mrs. Proctor and then she saw Tobias. His eyes were open and she could tell he was still breathing although very shallow. She knelt beside him and tried to help him up. “Come on Tobias we have to go, you can come with us!” She pulled on him, but he only shook his head. “It’s too late, Desire. Not just for us, but for you too. There is no way out now.” With that he took his last breath. She jumped up and starting running for the front of the hall. As she got closer to the door, she saw that it was already closed. She tried to peek through the window, but it had been blacked out. She pounded on the door and screamed hysterically. As she was pounding the door, her fists started to bleed. She looked around to see if there was anywhere to run, but she was trapped. She started to violently pound on the door again when she saw a bright reflection in the glass of the door. Dread washed over her as she turned around and the Hall went up in flames around her.
She bolted awake in her bed shaking violently all over and she could feel the tears she cried while she slept running down her cheeks. Looking around her room, she felt thankful it was only a nightmare, but deep down inside, she knew that if things didn’t go exactly as planned it could be a reality.
Chapter Thirty Three
Aedan spent most of Tuesday tracking the route through the forest. He needed to be sure that the route he chose was marked so that they wouldn’t lose their way. He had no idea where they really were – not what state, or even what country; he hoped they were still in the US. Firstly, they would blend in to the general population so the chances of he and Darby being discovered were minimized. Secondly, they could navigate their way much better, both because it was a civilized country and on they had familiarity with.
He was about one third of the way, careful not to make his path markers obvious. Originally, he thought of carving symbols into trees, but then realized that if anyone was trying to follow them, he would be giving them clear directions to follow. He finally settled on a plan. He had gathered medium-sized rocks from the creek bed and put three at the base of some of the trees to mark the route. Every time they came to a marker, they could simply throw the rocks back into the creek or into the forest. He was careful to make sure the markers were only about 100 feet from each other so that if they got off route they would know fairly quickly. He also found a cluster of trees that had sort of twisted and grew around and on top of each other in such a fashion that it made a fairly well-protected shelter for them to rest in the dark. Traveling in the dark would be too dangerous and they couldn’t risk circling back around to the community.
When he got to the shelter, he took the bag off his shoulder and pulled out some more canvas. He had painted it with waterproof seal and he crawled under the tree and fastened on the top part to protect them in case it rained. He then had another piece of canvas that he kept folded. He covered it with leaves just inside the shelter. He hoped it wouldn’t rain before they got here and that everything would stay dry.
He took out two bottles of water and a sealed jar of beef jerky and hid them under leaves beside the canvas. The less they had to carry the first day, the better. He pulled out a compass, a knife and a few other duplicate survival items and hid them with the other items. If for some reason they lost their bags, or worse, couldn’t take them with them, he had some essential items hidden in their shelter for them.
He planned to practice the route in the dark knowing that they would need to put some solid distance between themselves and the community that first night they escaped. He wasn’t sure he could do that now because of what Papa had tried last night with Darby. He kept his fingers crossed that the sedatives worked and would knock the man out cold without killing him.
The afternoon sky turned to dusk so he started to walk back to the workshop. He felt exhausted beyond belief, but also determined that this would not be the end for him and Darby. They only had one opportunity to escape and he would make damned sure they would die trying. What plagued him most was not really being caught himself, but what might happen to Darby if they caught her. He shuddered as the notion crossed his mind.
He stood at the creek and watched the rushing water flow past. He flashbacked to that afternoon in the forest when he found Nathaniel attacking Darby. The vision haunted him and he knew it always would. Nathaniel had taken something from her that day that Aedan could never give back to her. He had no words to describe how deep his love ran for her. Like the intensity of the rushing creek, so too was his love for Darby. There could be no life for him without her in it.
The anger boiled up inside of him so much that at times, he thought he wouldn’t be able to contain it. It took everything inside of him not to seek Nathaniel out and kill him. It gave him a perverted sense of pleasure just thinking about taking Nathaniel down and raining down on the man’s body with every ounce of force his fists would permit. The desire scared him too because it took all of his will to not act on that urge.
Then last night! He actually did not know exactly what happened, but as he was leaving Darby’s house he got a bad feeling that something was wrong. There was an irrefutable bond between him and Darby and could sense when something was amiss, even when she wasn’t with him. It was this sense that sent him back to her house. And then to find her cowering under the bed almost broke his heart into a million pieces.
Would she ever truly be able to recover from the traumas she endured while she was here? Or would she be plagued with flashbacks and fear forever?
One step at a time, he told himself. We just need a chance. We just need to get control of our lives back and then we can start healing.
Chapter Thirty Four
He stood at the foot of her bed while she slept. He smiled a wicked grin imagining how sweet her body would feel against his own. He would be gentle at first and then devour her. She was sleeping peacefully now, unlike earlier when she cried out in her sleep. “Probably still mourning the loss of Mama,” he thought quietly to himself. Mama had been a good and dutiful wife, but she had not excited him, not in the physical way. He closed his eyes and pictured Desire standing naked in front of him. She had the prettiest white skin that seemed like porcelain against her flaming red hair. Her body was curvy and so very soft. She was pure and he couldn’t fight the urge to consume her. For now though, he would have to resist. He turned and quietly walked away. Soon, though, she would be his.
She let out a sigh as she heard the door to Papa’s room close. She heard the door to her room creek open as he walked in. She was terrified, but continued to pretend to sleep hoping he would leave her alone, and h
e did. He had stood there for an awfully long time. Her heart was beating so fast and loud that she felt sure he would hear it.
Afraid he might come back, she forced herself to stay awake for the remainder of the night. It must have been later than she thought though because it wasn’t long before streams of sunlight started to break through the sky and the warm glow of day slowly took over.
Eager to get up and downstairs, she hopped out of bed and dressed. She left her bedroom and she hurried to get downstairs and start cooking breakfast, her feet got tangled up in each other. She tripped over the last couple of steps and fell flat on her face with a loud thump. In a minute, Papa came down the stairs to see what happened and he rushed down to her side.
“I am okay, Papa. I just have clumsy feet this morning.” She tried to brush it off so he wouldn’t come over to her, but before she knew it, he was picking her up and standing her on her feet.
Looking genuinely concerned, he asked, “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?” He grimaced a little as he looked at her face. “Well silly girl, sometimes I have to wonder what your face would look like without a bump, cut or scrape on it. You definitely aren’t the most graceful or lucky person!” He gave her a kiss on the head and told her to take it easy after breakfast.
It was so strange! It was like he had turned into two different people. He was normal Papa during the day and then sexual-deviant Papa at night. Seeing the genuine concern in his eyes, she felt sorry for him once again.
Her right cheek was tender, but nothing that she couldn’t handle so she started making coffee as usual, and then decided on pancakes. Trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy was getting tougher each day. She was battling so much inside that she wondered if once they were safely out of here if she would have a total meltdown and end up in some rubber room for the rest of her life. She pictured this and it made her laugh a little bit.
Who We Are Page 28