“What’s so funny, dear?”
Desire didn’t realize she had laughed out loud. She quickly concocted a story to explain herself. “Well, I was just picturing in my mind all the times I have tripped, slipped, fallen or bumped into something and it really is quite funny how clumsy a person could be.”
“Well you are definitely unique, my dear.”
She poured some coffee and served them each a plate of pancakes. Papa left the house immediately after breakfast.
As she started the morning chores, she thought about all the napkins Mama had brought home and ironed for the Celebration. Delivering those to the Hall would be a perfect excuse to take a good look around herself.
She packed up the napkins and placed them in the push cart to take to the Hall. As she walked through the community and saw people going on about their day, she felt a little chill run over her. Watching the smaller children walking with their mothers, not knowing what horrible fate would befall them, she felt terribly sad. In a few short days, all of these folks would be gone without a trace, and she was heading over to the “chamber of death” right now.
As she walked along, Desire saw Annabelle walking with her mother, or her supposed mother. Annabelle looked so cute and sweet... Desire felt a tug at her heart as she pictured all the people here and the families that were left behind spending a lifetime in mourning wondering where their loved ones had vanished to.
Annabelle let go of her mother’s hand and came running over. “Hi Desire! My mama told me that you don’t have a mama anymore because she died.”
It wasn’t really a question more of a statement. “Yes, Annabelle, that is true. My mama had a terrible accident and has gone to heaven.”
“Well you don’t have to worry because I heard my brother say that we would all get to see your mama soon. So that means she didn’t die after all.” She smiled at Desire and seemed pleased with herself for delivering this good news. By then, Annabelle’s mother had caught up. She nodded at Desire, took Annabelle’s hand, and they continued to walk across town.
What a peculiar thing for Annabelle to say. Hall Desire shivered when she thought about exactly what Annabelle had said: “We would all get to see your mama soon.”
Holy shit. He was one of them!
Why else would he say something like that? Was she reading too much into a statement made by a nine-year old? Even if he was one of them, did it really change anything? A shudder ran through her as she flashed back to that day in the forest. Nathaniel didn’t just attack her, he was violent and angry and very aggressive. It scared her to think that if she was ever captured what he or people like him might do to her.
When Papa acted strangely at night, was he programmed to want to do the same things to her? She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt someone touch her arm.
“It’s okay, child, it’s only me.” She was relieved to hear Tobias’ gentle voice. She turned around. “Good morning, Tobias. I’m sorry. I am a little on edge lately.”
He nodded knowingly and motioned for her to sit with him on a nearby bench.
He spoke to her in a soft and gentle voice. “This is a big week for you and Johnny. I want you to know that I wish I could be of more assistance to you.”
“But Tobias,” she tried to interject, “You could come…” but he stopped her there.
“You need not worry about me. I have no business slowing you two down and, to be honest, I am at peace with what will happen. I am a tired old man without a soul out there in the world. I don’t want you wasting one thought worrying about me. My darling wife is waiting for me in heaven and I can’t wait to see her again.” He looked up to the sky and smiled.
She could tell he was remembering what life was like before all this.
“I see you are going to the Hall today. I want you to look in the storage room and find an envelope that I have taped to the underside of the first table hanging on the left side of the wall. It’s not much, but it should help you two a little bit. Stuff it deep into a pocket and don’t open it until you are someplace safe.” He winked at her and then got up and hobbled off in the opposite direction.
Desire got up and pushed her cart toward the Hall. When she got to the main door she almost ran right smack into Nathaniel coming out. She was so startled she almost fell over but he caught her and picked her up. Her flesh crawled as he hung on to her until she regained her balance. As he was holding onto her, she noticed that he had a tattoo on the inside of his wrist. She only got a glimpse of it but she remembers seeing that same design on one of the pieces of jewelry she found in the cellar. It was a strange-looking pyramid with an eyeball on the top.
It looks like the pyramid on the back of a dollar bill. How strange.
Before she could think on it further, Nathaniel leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “It really turned me on when you uttered those dirty words to me in the store the other day. I bet you didn’t even know what they meant, but don’t worry, I will show you real soon.”
“Is there a problem here?” It was Johnny. Relief washed over her as Nathaniel backed away. Johnny’s face was bright red and Desire knew that look in his eye. One thing she knew for sure was that Johnny had a typical Irish temper and it had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion.
Knowing that only she could calm him she said, “Oh hello, Johnny, Nathaniel and I almost bumped right into each other and he was just helping me up, right Nathaniel?”
This did nothing to calm Johnny, and Nathaniel just sneered at them both. “Yes, that’s right,” he said. ”This time, I am helping her up.”
He sauntered off and Johnny turned as if to run after him, but Desire grabbed his hand. She could see some of the other town ladies coming to the Hall.
“Thank you, Johnny, for agreeing to help me today. I have to deliver all these napkins inside and am sure I cannot get this heavy cart in by myself.”
He looked down at her. “You are so amazing, you know that?” It simply astonished him how she was able to maintain her composure when he needed her to.
He followed her inside the Hall. They unpacked all the linen napkins and put them on one of the tables. Mrs. Proctor came over and thanked them.
“Excuse me, Johnny I need to use the ladies room.” As she walked back toward the back of the Hall, she remembered her dream from yesterday. As festive as everything was starting to look around her, she knew that this was really the Hall of Death.
She walked around the back wall and into the area where the restrooms and storage were located. She started to feel behind the first table as instructed and sure enough she felt an envelope secured to the back. She pulled it off and then went inside the bathroom. Tempted to open it there, she didn’t want to take the chance that one of the other ladies might walk in. She lifted her skirt and stuffed it into her underpants for fear it might fall out of her pocket. She went back into the main area and walked toward the front where Johnny waited for her. As she walked toward him, she couldn’t help but smile just a little. Despite all the ugliness around them, she couldn’t imagine loving anyone more than she loved him. She resisted the urge to touch him tenderly when she got to his side. Instead, she properly walked just a half pace behind him and followed him through the Hall doors. When Darby and Aedan reached the workshop, she walked past him and went straight for the hidden door in the wall at the back. She entered his secret room and he followed without a word. With the door safely secure, she took his hand and led him back into the little bedroom.
She guided him to the bed and he sat down. She stood in front of him and started to undress. When she was fully naked in front of him, she motioned for him to stand up and she hungrily started to undress him. She planted kisses on his chest as she removed his shirt. She clumsily undid his belt and pulled his pants and boxers down. As she did this, she caressed his firm buttocks then travelled around to the front and took him fully into her hands. He was plenty aroused and she hungrily took him in her mouth. He turned her around and
pushed her down on the bed a little forcefully. She lay back and he quickly entered her. They made passionate and almost rough love as if trying to consume one another. They turned over and she was on top of him her hips gyrating and her back arched as she drove him deeper and deeper inside of her. With each motion of her hips, he groaned a little louder. With his hand firmly on her hips, her movements became quicker and quicker and he was moving his hips in rhythm with her. Before long, she could feel the heat and tingling in her groin. As she screamed out in orgasm, her body began to shake and he thrust into her one more time and joined her in her ecstatic climax. Waves of pleasure washed over both of them. As her body stopped pulsating, she fell on top of him breathless and sweaty.
After a few moments, Darby got up and went into the little bathroom. She freshened up and then returned to the bedroom to redress. That was when she saw the envelope on the floor. She had forgotten it was stuffed in her underpants and it had fallen out in the heat of the moment. She picked it up and sat on the side of the bed beside Aedan, who was still lying down.
“What is that?” he asked.
“I am not sure. I ran into Tobias today on the way to the Hall. He told me he left this taped to the underside of one of the tables in the storage area. He said it might help us. That is what I was doing when I went back to the restrooms at the Hall. He told me not to open it until I was in a safe place.”
She peeled back the seal of the envelope and inside she saw a small stack of green bills. She pulled it out and counted it. It was $120. There was also a little note. It said, “I hope that you find this and tuck it away safe. I know it is not enough to help much, but hopefully will come in handy. If I could get more I would, but as you can imagine, it was very hard to get my hands on this. “
It was not addressed to them or signed by Tobias and they knew why: If it fell into the wrong hands it would point fingers at both them and him.
She looked at Aedan and he smiled. “Well, it is better than nothing and may be the difference between stealing and buying.” She stuffed it back into the envelope and placed it on the little table beside his bed. She bent down and kissed him and then got up to dress.
As she was putting her clothes back on something occurred to her. “I wish I had a pair of jeans to wear when we escape. I am sure I could move much faster with jeans and a pair of tennis shoes.”
“I have that covered. I bought a pair of denim jeans from the staple store a while back. I hope they fit you. I also swiped a pair of boots from someone’s back porch. Maybe you should try them on to make sure they fit.” He went into the front room and she heard him pull up the floorboard where he hid items. He returned shortly with a pair of jeans and boots.
She pulled on the jeans and although they were a little loose a belt or scarf around her waist would keep them up. The boots were just the right size.
Gosh, it felt good to wear jeans! She looked over at Johnny who was smirking a little.
“I forgot how cute your ass looks in jeans.” She wiggled her butt a little in front of him and started to laugh. He gave her a little swat. She turned around and went to him. He put his hands on her hips and they kissed gently. She hugged him and then undressed and put her proper clothes back on. “We should get back or they will wonder what has taken us so long.”
They dressed in silence and when they were done Johnny tucked the jeans, boots and the envelope of cash under the floor boards. Johnny told Desire he would continue putting everything together for their escape, and promised to keep watch over her at night. She had told him about how she had fallen asleep and wasn’t able to give Papa the sedatives and how he had stood at the bottom of her bed staring at her. Johnny assured her that he would be over her, but made her promise him that she would get the sedatives in Papa’s food or drink. She promised she would and then left for the Hall to deliver the games and toys. They were going to be taken to the Clinic for the children to play with on the night of the Celebration. After she dropped off the games, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do for the rest of the day. She decided to go back home to go through the things in the sewing room.
When she got home, she put the cart away and made her way back to the sewing room. As she bent over to open the basket where Mama had kept her projects, she heard something behind her, but before she could turn around to see what it was, a hand from behind covered her mouth and grabbed her around the waist.
“Alone at last.” He turned her around to face him and put his finger to his lips. “If you scream or so much as make a peep, I will take this knife and fuck you with it.” He grabbed a knife that he had set down on the table and held it up to her face. He slowly ran the blade down her left cheek and cut her ever so slightly. Her eyes welled up with tears and she knew there was no one to save her now.
Think, think, think! What can I do? She was desperately trying to think of what she could do to get out of this! Nathaniel was a lot bigger than her and very strong. Trying to fight would be futile because she didn’t doubt that he would do exactly as he promised with his knife.
“Now, are you going to be a good, quiet girl?” She nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks and he took his hand off of her mouth.
“I bet your precious Johnny doesn’t show up now to save your sweet little ass this time. He thinks you are safe and sound at home.” He laughed wickedly and pushed her down to the floor. She didn’t dare move and she didn’t think she could if she wanted to because she was frozen with fear. Nathaniel pulled some rope out of his back pocket and tied her wrists together. The course binding was tight and her skin was burning under the knots.
He stood tall in front of her and undid his belt. He unbuttoned his denims and unzipped them. He pulled his pants down enough to expose himself and she looked down. She was sobbing now, but didn’t dare say anything.
“I want you to look up at me and ask me to fuck you. In fact, I want you on your knees and beg me to fuck you.”
She looked up at him but didn’t say anything. He grabbed her hair and yanked her onto her knees. She screamed out a little, but caught herself and quieted up. On her knees and trembling, he put the knife to her other cheek. “Bitch, I want you to beg me to fuck you. Do you understand?” Just as she opened her mouth to follow his orders, they heard the front door open.
“Desire? Are you home, sweetheart? I came home early and would love some coffee.”
It was Papa. Nathaniel quickly pulled his pants up and uttered, “Fuck.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Now, you be a good girl and go fix your Papa some coffee, And don’t worry I will be back to finish what we started.” He licked the side of her face shooed her away.
She didn’t think she could hide her emotion from Papa. She was shaking terribly and tears were still running down her cheek. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and tried to compose herself.
When she entered the kitchen, she did not see Papa and she started to panic thinking that maybe he had left when she did not respond right away.
“Papa?” She called out to him and prayed to God that he was still here. At least until nighttime, he seemed to be pretty safe.
“I am in my office, Desire. You can bring me my coffee here.”
Relief flooded her. “Yes Papa.”
Still shaken, she went over to the stove to start brewing some coffee. She kept her head down to avoid the all-seeing eyes noticing the cut on her face.
As she waited for the coffee to finish, there was a knock at the front door. She went over to answer it, and it was Johnny. When she opened the door and he saw her, he uttered the words, “Oh Jesus.” Just seeing him made her cry and she turned around.
“Papa, Johnny is here to see you. The coffee is brewing and I have to go upstairs to finish some chores.” She turned and ran upstairs. Knowing she was about to lose it, she couldn’t let Papa see that.
She ran into her bathroom and looked in the mirror. On her cheek there was a shallow vertical cut about two inches long. It was no longer bleeding, but ther
e were streaks of dry blood running down the side of her face. Her eyes were all red and blotchy from crying. She looked horrible.
She crumpled to the floor, stifling tears. They only had a couple of days left to get through, but every day seemed harder and harder! Everywhere she turned now, there was danger or something to be feared. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close to her body. She felt tears welling up, but mustered up the strength to refuse them. No. There’s no time for tears! He will not defeat me! Not Nathaniel, not Papa, not anyone! I will get my life back! I have to stay strong. She got up from the floor and stood over the sink to wash her face. The cut stung a little but seemed like nothing compared to what might have happened if Papa hadn’t come home.
Nathaniel was so determined to hurt her. Why on earth had he targeted her? Was he hurting other girls in the community too?
Now that Johnny had seen her, he knew something had happened. She was so afraid that his temper would get the better of him and he might do something to Nathaniel. Not that she didn’t want to see him suffer, she just didn’t want Johnny to risk anything before they escaped. Not to mention, Johnny may have a bad temper, but she was pretty sure that Nathaniel was a little psychotic—maybe even a robot like Papa—and she felt sure that he could seriously hurt or even kill Johnny given the chance.
Once she felt as composed as she could manage, she headed back downstairs. Johnny and Papa were sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Desire, Johnny has come over here to extend an invitation to have dinner with his family tonight. If you could warm me up a plate of food and leave it in the oven I don’t see why you shouldn’t go. Will do you some good to get out.” He turned to Johnny. “Now you be sure walk her home no later than one hour past dark. And If you like, we can have a drink on the porch before you go back home.”
Johnny nodded and finished his coffee while Desire prepared a supper plate for Papa and left it in the oven.
Desire put a large sunhat on and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders. She and Johnny walked in silence toward the workshop and although he kept looking over at her, she would not look at him. She stared straight ahead. She knew if she looked at him she would break down and she just wanted to make it back to his workshop.
Who We Are Page 29