Who We Are

by Samantha Marsh

  When they arrived at the workshop, he opened the door and escorted her in. They scooted quickly into the workshop and back into his secret room. Once safely inside her put his hands on her shoulder and looked her in the eye. “Darby, what the hell happened to you?”

  She told him. Aedan took her in his arms and hugged her tight. He walked her over to the couch where they sat down together. After she spent a considerable amount of time convincing Aedan not to confront Nathaniel, they came up with a plan to keep her as safe as possible for the next two days. Tomorrow and Friday she would go to the Hall early and spend the day with the other church ladies decorating and completing final jobs for the Celebration. At night, she would either be invited back to “Johnny’s” for dinner or she would invite him over to dinner. Their plan had many objectives: keep her safe and away from Nathaniel, and keep her safe from Papa throughout the night.

  “Desire” would go to bed, but first “Johnny” planned to put a locking mechanism on the inside of her bedroom door and would nail her windows shut. With Papa passed out, he could also nail the sewing room windows shut. Then he would go to the cellar and nail the door from the cellar to the backyard closed.

  If he could do that, he felt sure that Nathaniel would not be able to sneak back into the house, and Papa would not be able to sneak into “Desire’s” room at night.

  As dusk approached Aedan took Darby out to the forest behind the workshop. He wanted to show her how he had marked their path. There was always a possibility that they could get separated so she needed to know how to get on the path where they would reunite.

  Although they didn’t have time to travel to the tree shelter, he described it to her in detail so that she would know what to look for.

  Right before he made his way to the Celebration, he would put their bags in a crate right inside the back door of the workshop. She would have to quickly change and then throw her party dress into his wood stove to burn them up. If her clothes were left behind that would definitely raise suspicion. He too would burn his common suit.

  Once he had reviewed all the details with her, they went back to the workshop. Although he tried to put it out of his mind, he kept picturing Nathaniel threatening her and trying to assault her again. The cut on her cheek was just a reminder to him that she really was in grave danger. He thought about just running off tonight, but that would be reckless and would surely get them caught before they even made it halfway out of the forest. He had to keep his cool for a couple more days. It felt like an eternity!

  He had done all he could to prepare their escape in the forest, so he could actually focus on watching over her to make sure she was safe for the next forty-eight hours. By the time they returned to the workshop the sun had started to set. They went inside and Desire heated them up a tin of soup quickly and warmed some bread. They ate mostly in silence. It has been another long and exhausting day and as the time neared to go home, anxiety began to mount inside of Darby. Sensing this, Aedan reached over and put his hand over hers. “It is going to be okay. We will take all the measures we talked about after Papa is passed out.”

  She smiled up at him. Much as he tried she knew that as long as they were still here there was no way he could keep her safe 100% of the time. She closed her eyes. Just two more days. We can make it for two more days. She opened her eyes and smiled back at him. “Just two more days and we get our chance.”

  He remembered something he had wanted to ask her. “Desire I got your sac under the bushes. Good thinking to bring some seeds and small garden tools, but where on earth did you find the jewelry? I have never seen anything quite like it. It looks very valuable, although the designs and symbols look very unusual.”

  “I found them in a big trunk in the basement between some old dishes and old blankets. They were in a beautiful ornate box just stuffed in the middle of a bunch of junk. It’s just a hunch, but I suspect Mama hid them there.”

  “Wow, when I said to search your for house for valuables, I thought if we were lucky you might find some Sunday silverware in hopes that it was real, but I think you hit the jackpot there!”

  She smiled at him and after quickly tidying up their dishes he escorted her back to her house. When they arrived, they found Papa, clearly drowsy, sitting at the table nodding off between bites of food. He raised his head slightly when they came in.

  “Hello, you two.” His words were slightly slurred and it was apparent the sedatives in his dinner plate were taking effect. Desire went over to the stove and boiled some water to fix him some tea. She slipped in another sedative pill and brought it to him.

  “Papa, you are so sleepy. Here is some nice hot tea to perk you up. Come, let’s go sit in the front room and you can visit with Johnny.

  He followed her into the front room stumbling a little bit. “Tea sounds nice, I don’t understand why I am so sleepy. Long day, I guess.”

  Johnny visited only for a few moments and then bid them good night. She walked him to the front door and thanked him for a lovely evening. Once he was gone, she went into the family room where Papa was nodding off.

  “Come on Papa, you look sleepy. Let’s get you up to bed.” She helped him up the stairs and led him into his room. She barely got him to the bed before he passed out cold. Checking to be sure he was asleep, she ran down the stairs to the back door. She left the lights off to avoid being watched. Johnny was waiting at the back door and she let him in. He quickly slipped into the sewing room and nailed all the windows shut while she watched. Next they snuck upstairs into her room. He fumbled around in the dark, but managed to nail her bedroom windows shut as well. Next, he pulled two hooks and latches from his pocket. He fastened one set to the top of the door inside her bedroom and one to the very bottom. Once inside she could secure the door shut.

  When he was done he touched her cheeks with his hands. He planted a kiss on each cheek and an extra kiss on the cut on her cheek.

  “This will hopefully make you feel a little safer, but know that it will keep everyone out, including me.”

  That part she wasn’t crazy about, but she knew there was only two days left.

  “Johnny, please help me get Papa’s clothes off and his pajamas on. If he wakes up across his bed with his clothes on, he may get suspicious.”

  As they changed Papa’s clothes, he grumbled a few incoherent sounds, but otherwise didn’t stir. They laid him the proper way in the bed and pulled the covers up over him. When they were done and about to leave, Desire held Johnny’s arm and she pointed down at Papa

  “Take a close look at him. He can’t be more than 25 years old. I never noticed that before.”

  Johnny took a good look. “Well I’ll be damned. I never really noticed before either, but now that you point it out, you are right. Poor guy, just another pawn in this crazy place. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

  He took her by the hand and led her into her bedroom. He left her there to run her a bath. As the tub filled, he came back into her room and undressed her in the dark. He led her, naked, into the bathroom and closed the door. After he helped her into the tub, he used the sponge to squeeze hot water all over her upper body and back. He lathered the sponged and gently bathed her from head to toe. They did not speak at all. Desire closed her eyes and relaxed as Johnny gently pampered her. God, how she loved him. He always knew just what to do to make her feel better.

  When he finished, he helped to stand and step out of the tub. He dried her off with the softest touch then led her back into her room. He slipped a nightgown over her head. He leaned down and kissed her gently on her lips. “My Darby. How I love you.” He peeled back the blankets and sheet and helped her into bed. She waited as he undressed and secured the latches on the door. He slipped into bed and gathered her up in his arms. “I guess those latches can keep me in as well,” he said, smiling. She kissed him and then lay her head on his chest and fell asleep within minutes.

  Aedan slept intermittently throughout the night. Visions of all that Darby had bee
n through since she came here and mostly by how Nathaniel had continued to terrorize her plagued him. Imagining Nathaniel attacking his precious girl almost drove him to the brink of insanity. He closed his eyes and tried to calm the storm inside his head, but found himself unable to relax completely. He dozed, barely.

  A couple hours before sunrise, he shook Desire lightly and whispered in her ear for her to wake up. Half asleep, she looked up at him and smiled.

  “You must get up. I have to leave and I want you to latch the back door after I leave. Then come back up and lock your bedroom door.”

  She rubbed her eyes and then wrapped her arms around him. “Please stay with me.”

  “I want to, my love, but I must go. Be patient, just one more day after today and we will never have to be apart again.”

  Desire got up out of bed and followed him downstairs. They kissed goodbye at the back door and he waited to hear her engage the lock on the door. She crept back upstairs, locked her door and climbed into bed falling quickly asleep.

  Johnny wanted to stay and watch her house, but knew that as soon as the sun rose he would be exposed. He trudged back to the bushes where Desire used to enter the forest and sat there, watching her house until the sun begun to rise. Once dawn peeked over the horizon, he went into the forest and headed home, almost confident that for one more day his love was safe.

  Chapter Thirty Five

  The next two days were incredibly long and boring, but despite how mundane they were she was happy that they were uneventful. The adrenaline and anticipation was building inside of her and it was as though she could hear freedom calling to her whenever she heard the trees rustling in the forest or a bird chirping in the sky. She often found herself staring at the forest during those two long days.

  Desire spent the next two days at the Hall feigning interest in helping to decorate and prepare the Hall for the Celebration. It was more depressing than she anticipated. As she watched her fellow community members anticipate the fun and merriment, she found herself feeling a mixture of guilt and melancholy. She felt especially moved when one of the women would bring a child with them. Who were these children? Who was mourning them in the real world? What were they going to do to the children at the Clinic?

  When Friday finally came, Tobias came to find her to go over the check-in process. He took her to the park in the middle of town and they sat on the bench. From his shoulder bag, he removed a roster of all the community members. As he passed it to her, she could see the sadness in his eyes as he scanned the hundreds of names on the list.

  He explained that she must put a checkmark beside each name as they arrived for the Celebration. Once everyone was accounted for, she simply had to lay the roster on the table outside the Hall and then join the Celebration. There would be a button on the table that she would need to press and then join the Celebration. They both knew what that button was for. It was a death call to whoever it was that was watching them. To cover anything suspicious, it would also ring a little bell in the Hall to signal to the community members that the Celebration could officially begin.

  He scooted a little closer to her. “Desire, once you push that button leave the Hall immediately and do whatever it is you and Johnny have planned. Run, girl, and run fast. Don’t look back, just go. What is about to happen is not your responsibility and there is nothing you can do to stop it. If you are having thoughts of guilt, push them aside because you did not do this.” He looked at her for a moment and added, “For the rest of us, we will once again become who we are in God’s heavenly kingdom.” He squeezed her hand and then got up and trotted back in the direction of his home.

  She stared down at the list and it felt almost surreal. Each checkmark would be like signing a death warrants. The logical part of her understood that no matter who checked everyone in, the outcome would be the same, but her heart felt heavy regardless as she pictured the horror that was to take place.

  Chapter Thirty Six

  That night in bed, adrenalin coursed through her veins. Fearful that her level of anxiety would cause her to blunder, she dug deep and remembered some of the meditation and relaxation techniques she had learned in yoga classes she had taken in her former life. She focused on her breathing and visualized the oxygen flowing into her muscles and the tension leaving her body each time she exhaled. She concentrated on clearing her mind. She knew that ruminating about events, traumas and the past would not help them to succeed tomorrow. It was imperative to be alert and not do anything to draw any attention to herself or to Johnny. She laughed a little sarcastically to think that, metaphorically, she and Johnny would die today, and possibly Darby and Aedan would too. Once they stepped into that forest she had no idea who they would be.

  We will be running through that forest in an attempt to regain our identity and freedom and yet with that first step we will not really know who we are or who we might become.

  One thing she felt certain of was that neither of them would ever be the people they once were. They had been through too much and lost too much. A small part of her feared the time when the reality would set in and they would then have no choice but to mourn the life that they lost. As impossible as it seemed, a small and admittedly silly part of her hoped that one day they could be reunited with their families. She reminded herself to not think about that now. She repeated the breathing and meditation exercises throughout the night.

  As dawn broke, she rose and sat on the side of her bed. She took a few deep breaths. Closing her eyes she prayed to God for about thirty minutes. She recited every prayer she had memorized in church and then added a personal plea to St. Christopher, begging him to carry her and Aedan on his shoulders as they fled through the forest, the same way he had carried Jesus Christ across a swollen river. .She prayed that he would now carry her and Aedan to safety.

  Desire put on her robe and went downstairs. She went through the motions of brewing coffee and fixing breakfast. When Papa came down for breakfast, he seemed unusually chipper.

  “My goodness, I have been sleeping so soundly lately that I feel like a new man every morning!” He sat down and Desire brought him a cup of coffee while she finished cooking his eggs and ham. “Desire, before Mama died, she finished sewing your dress for the. I have laid it on your bed for you. Be sure to polish your shoes and fix your hair as a lady would for a Celebration. I want you to be the Belle of the Ball tonight! I have asked Johnny to escort you as I will be occupied with the program. He will pick you up precisely at half past five so that you two may arrive prior to any guests to take your places as the greeters.” She shuddered a little when he said that.

  “Now I am off for the day and probably won’t see you until the Celebration tonight. Get your chores done and then do whatever it is a lady has to do to get ready. If you have any questions, I am sure Mrs. Proctor can help you. I also put Mama’s special box on your desk. She had some hair pins and clips you might want to use. You might as well keep it. When I get a new wife she will surely not want to use a dead woman’s belongings.” He said it so matter-of-factly.

  He left for the day as if it was any other day and she went about her normal routine, once again not wanting to cause anyone who may be watching to be alerted that anything was out of the ordinary. As she polished the furniture, she casually checked to be sure that all the doors were locked and the windows were still securely nailed. As close as she was to freedom, she knew that there was still danger around her and without Johnny close by she needed to take charge of her own security.

  After polishing furniture, she washed floors. She decided against doing laundry because doing so would mean steeping outside to hang everything on the clothesline and she felt determined not to take one step outside until Johnny was there was by her side to escort her to the Hall. Besides, no one would be around to wear clean clothes tomorrow anyway.

  The morning flew by. She forced herself to eat lunch and made it good and hearty. Warming some of the stew one of the neighbours brought over she ate a l
arge bowl of it and followed it with a large slice of blueberry pie. Thought she didn’t feel particularly hungry, she knew how important it was that she have plenty of nourishment while she still could.

  After lunch, she went upstairs to her room. She was astonished at what she saw laying on her bed. There lay the most beautiful dress she had ever seen in her life. It was emerald green and made of satin. The bodice looked form-fitting and had a heart-shaped neckline with silver beads that sparkled and outlined the bosom. The sleeves were sheer and flowing and formed a miniature little cape around her shoulders and back. The full skirt that would come just above her ankles and there was a border of delicate lace sewn to the bottom hem. When she looked closer at the lace, it looked as though it was hand crocheted. Delicate satin-covered buttons trickled down the back of the dress. As she inspected the dress in its entirety, little tears came to her eyes.

  She couldn’t imagine that Sarah Jane Martin would ever picture herself making something so precious and delicate. The skill used to fashion this dress was simply amazing. The thought of having to burn this treasure up at the end of the night seemed so wrong. She decided that she would try to save it if she could.

  She opened the small wooden box on her desk and she found two pewter hair combs and a very small locket. She recognized the symbols on the combs. She had seen them on the some of the jewelry she found in the cellar. In the center of each comb was a peculiar eye. The eye had two tails coming from it. One almost straight down and the other slanted to right and a curvy with a swirly tail. The center of each was sparkling green. She couldn’t tell if they were gems or just sparkly beads, but they were ornate and beautiful.