Rocked by a Vampire: Billionaire, Rock Stars, Vampires (Immortal Hearts of San Francisco Book 3)

by Susan Griscom

  I’d thought that we were both on the same page as far as our feelings for each other went. But suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. I’d sucked his cock. But he hadn’t made a move since then.

  I lay in his arms, wanting him to touch me, but he made no move to do so. I still had all of my clothes on, and he’d made no attempt to undress me. Maybe he needed to talk about what had just happened before delving any deeper into a sexual relationship with me. Or maybe all he’d wanted was release from his sexual tension and I was just a willing participant. But the things he’d said to me on the bridge… And then I’d gone and changed things by sucking him off before any of those things could take place. Had I just ruined it all? Until just a moment ago, I’d thought everything was perfect. But now, visions of those jerks who’d assaulted me came flooding back. Were all men slime balls?

  I couldn’t, wouldn’t believe that Lane would ever be in the same category as those guys.

  Nothing made sense anymore. The ache between my legs throbbed, wanting his touch.

  “Do…you want to talk about it?” I asked hesitantly.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Lane

  “No. I think we talked about it enough beforehand.”

  Vanessa had helped me overcome the demons this afternoon. But would they come back? I didn’t know. But one thing I did know was, as much as I’d enjoyed Vanessa these past weeks, I also knew I didn’t want what she wanted. As evidenced by the way she’d promised never to use witchcraft on me again and the honesty in her eyes. She wanted a boyfriend. Wasn’t that what they all wanted? I didn’t think she’d want to be just “fuck buddies,” and I didn’t want to hurt her.

  I could almost feel the need pouring from the heat between her legs, begging me to touch her. If I showed her how much I wanted her, it would only dig us deeper into something one-sided. Hurting her had never been my intention in all of this. I only wanted to hear her beautiful voice singing alongside me. I could admit, I’d have loved to fuck her, everywhere, all over the world—but not at the cost of her emotions. Emotions I’d never considered until I’d grown to know her, respect her. The confessions we’d made to each other during this journey had brought us closer as friends, but I wasn’t ready to be lovers. I wanted to fuck her more than anything, but it wasn’t right. It would just be fucking to me. She’d been violated in her past. Years ago to her. Like yesterday to me. I wasn’t ready to dive in and be the first asshole to prove to her just how insensitive some men could be. But she already knew that. Listen to me. A vampire with a conscience. Fuck.

  Would we…could we remain friends if I fucked her? Or would what we had now be diminished if I didn’t? Had we already destroyed it all by letting her pleasure me? I’d enjoyed our recent non-sexual relationship. It was refreshing to not have to be on guard whenever she entered the room. I enjoyed her giggles and the playful nature she’d exhibited during the music sessions. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be devoted, tied down to one woman.

  I’d enjoyed my freedom over the past two hundred years. I’d tried the relationship thing back in the 1840s, then again in 1964 with Clara Smith during the free love movement and the anti-establishment philosophies of the 60s, rejecting the tradition of marriage. I’d thought it was safe to enter into a relationship, except I didn’t realize that just because there wasn’t a legal certificate, it didn’t mean I was free to explore a variety of sexual partners. Her jealous wrath had led me to disappear and never return to the sweet home she’d made for us with the hope of children in the near future. That was shortly after Cian and I had purchased this mansion, and I’d gone to live with Clara while we had the house renovated.

  Back then, it was just Cian and me. Now there were ten living here. Fuck.

  The sound of Vanessa yawning as she snuggled against me brought me back to the problem at hand. I would be forever grateful to this woman for what she’d done for me tonight. But I wasn’t ready to be what she wanted. I glanced down at her. The soft sounds of her breathing soothed me. She was comfortable. She made me comfortable. I had too many conflicting feelings all of a sudden. I closed my eyes and drifted, enjoying the feeling of her in my arms.

  It took me a minute to realize that the pounding sound in my head wasn’t coming from my throbbing dick, but from my bedroom door. Especially after Gage started shouting my name from the hallway. “Lane! Lane! Are you in there?” A jiggling sound came from the knob. Thank fuck I’d locked the door.

  “It’s Gage,” I sighed.

  “What does he want?” Vanessa asked in a sweet and groggy voice.

  “Beats the hell out of me. Stay here, I’ll go see.”

  But a couple of seconds later, before I even had the sheet tossed aside, Gage stood at the foot of my bed. His arms crossed over his chest. “Why the fuck is the studio door locked?”

  I glanced at V. I almost laughed. She’d sunk down to hide under the covers.

  “Is that…” Gage tilted his head as if that would help him see through the light blue sheet she’d covered her entire body with. “Is that Vanessa under there?” he asked.

  I grinned as her eyes peered out from beneath the covers, holding the sheet up to her nose.

  “Wow. I am so sorry, guys,” Gage said and turned to leave, but stopped abruptly and pivoted back around. “Oh, yeah, why is the studio locked?”

  “I, uh…I was in there earlier and teleported out. I forgot to go back in and unlock the door,” I supplied, leaving V completely out of it.

  “Oh. ”

  “What’s the big fucking deal?” I asked. “You could have just flashed inside you know, like you so rudely did in here.”

  “Yeah, again, sorry about that.” He nodded and quickly vanished.

  V and I both broke out in laughter. It was refreshing after all the turmoil running through my mind.

  “That was weird,” she said.

  “Yeah.” This house was getting way too crowded for my tastes. Thank fuck Grayson had declined Cian’s offer to live here. It wasn’t that we didn’t have room—we had plenty of spare bedrooms. This house had ten bedrooms when we purchased it. Then, when we renovated, we added five more. At first, we’d intended to have live-in servants. But we soon learned it was to our advantage if they left, giving us the privacy we needed during the night when we were more active. Then, after we’d found Ari, it was perfect the way he was able to handle the servants and take over during the daytime.

  “Thank you for not telling him I was in there with you.”

  “Well, he’s going to find out soon enough, sweet thing.

  “Gah! Right.”

  I laughed as I watched her dive back down under the sheet, pulling it back over her head.

  “Come on. You’ll be great!”

  She reached down and fisted my hard cock in her hand. I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and pulled her away. Her eyes locked on mine. I shook my head.

  “Oh,” was all she said, removing her hand.

  “Vanessa, it’s not that I don’t want to.”

  “No. Really. It’s okay. I get it.” She shoved herself up, tossed the sheet aside, and stood.

  I’d led her on. I’d been leading her on ever since that first kiss at the club. Fooling myself into thinking I could have her and do whatever I wanted with her without any consequences. That was before I’d considered her feelings.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Vanessa

  I should be pissed off. I should be a fucking cold bitch to him for rejecting me after what I’d just done for him. But I couldn’t.

  “Are you going to be okay?” I asked. I couldn’t stand being there any longer, realizing Lane wasn’t going to take this any further. He’d called me endearing names, like sweet thing, baby, and V, but what did they really mean to him? He’d made sexual promises to me on the bridge that made my blood run so fucking hot and my core clench with need—I could barely contain myself. He’d admitted that we’d wasted too many months destroying each other’s egos, and acted like we’d broken
some great barrier tonight by letting me suck his cock to prove that those stupid demons were only in his head. Where had that man suddenly gone? I should feel used. But then the blowjob hadn’t been his idea. He’d only stood there, accepting what I had to offer. I couldn’t blame him for that. Though the kissing and the promises of something in the future had me so confused.

  “Couldn’t be better, thanks to you.” He sounded a bit too smug, and I wanted to slap him.

  Or was it just his testosterone that had been doing all that sweet-talking before and now that he’d gotten his jollies off, he’d come to his senses and returned to the jerk he was before.

  I touched the blouse I wore and the stickiness that was Lane smeared all over it. “I should be going. I need to shower and change my clothes.”

  Ask me to stay and shower with you. My heart begged.

  Lane sat up and rubbed his hands through his dark, tangled hair and gave me a weak smile that didn’t show in his eyes. I wanted to run far away.

  “Will I see you downstairs at dinner?” I asked instead of running.

  “Yeah. I’ll be down there.” His eyes averted mine as he pretended to study his fingernails.

  “Should we have another singing session before tomorrow night?” Shit, now I sounded too needy. That was the last thing I wanted. I did want him, but I didn’t need him, and he didn’t deserve to think I did. However, I was still very nervous about performing with him, and I didn’t want to renege on my promise to him no matter how much of a jerk he was being right now. Somehow, though, now that I thought about it, he would be coming out the victor on both counts.

  “No. I don’t think it’s necessary. You know the words, and you sang the song perfectly last time. Don’t worry, V. You’ll be fantastic.” He smiled that overconfident and encouraging smile he’d been giving me all week, and I became even more confused about everything.

  I stepped into the hallway and shut his door behind me. I wished I had his confidence. I hadn’t been invited into Lane’s shower or tub, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t indulge in the tub I had in my own room. A soothing lavender detox sounded like just the right cure for smoothing out the edges of my frayed nerves that Lane had caused.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out, answering without looking to see who it was. My cousin, Jillian, sang out a joyful, “Hiya, Vanessa!”

  “Hey, girl. What’s doin’?”

  “I’m taking an early vacation and coming out next week instead of waiting. I’m so excited, I already changed the tickets and everything.”

  “Oh.” Oh, no! Was more like it. How could I let her come out here when I didn’t have a place to live where vampires weren’t roaming around?

  “You don’t sound very excited.”

  “No. I am. I can’t wait to see you.” How could I tell her not to come? I needed to find a way to break the news to Lane and Cian. Maybe tomorrow night, after I sang.

  I was still in need of that soothing bath before dinner, though. I didn’t have much of an appetite after the confusing day I’d had, so maybe I would just skip it. I didn’t think I could handle sitting in the same room with Lane without staring at him, knowing I would hang on every word he said, wondering if he was thinking about me at all.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lane

  Vanessa hadn’t shown for dinner last night, and I’d been tempted to go to her room and seek her out. Which I did, but not until after she was asleep. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. I knew I’d hurt her, and, fuck, that made me feel lower than a heel. The feelings I harbored for her were so fierce, yet I couldn’t give in to them assuming my intuition was correct about her feelings for me. If she just didn’t care so much, I would have taken her right after she’d blown me to heaven.

  I was an ass to think that just because she wanted me—and I wanted her—that would make it all okay. But I didn’t want anything beyond the bedroom, and taking her all the way meant more to her than it did to me.

  I’d been conditioned not to care. Not to give a shit about what was happening to me. I had to be that way, or I would have ended this miserable life of mine years ago. But I took it like the man my father said I should be. Caring about a woman wasn’t something I could do.

  ****

  Today was the big window experiment day and my brother’s emotions seeped into me as if my skin was a giant sieve. He feared for Maggie. I couldn’t blame him. We were all present to bear witness to the testing. Vanessa was there to help, and I had a difficult time meeting her eyes.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Cian asked Maggie before she entered the living room.

  It was near dusk, and we stood just outside of the large room where we usually hung out, waiting for the sun to make its descent into the horizon. Something I hadn’t seen for over two-hundred years. Cian, Gage, Elvis, Chelle, and even Grayson stood with me.

  “Yes. I’m sure. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” She kissed my brother on the lips and entered the room. Ari, Josh, and Vanessa walked to the window with her. Maggie wore a pair of dark sunglasses to help in case the light was too strong. Not that it would help her if the mirror didn’t work, but it would shield her eyes from the brightness that she hadn’t seen in months. As she reached the point where she might collapse, she stopped and grabbed on to Vanessa’s shoulder as her knees buckled beneath her and she dipped close to the floor. Cian gasped, “Magdalena!” beside me, taking a step forward to rush to her aid only to remember he couldn’t go into the sun to help her. We all stood by as helpless as newborn babes.

  Maggie turned her head back toward Cian. “I’m okay. It’s just that I…I hadn’t realized how quickly I’d forgotten how beautiful the sunset was. It took my breath away.” We had the sunroom with fake sunsets, but I knew they were nothing compared the real thing.

  “Christ, woman. You nearly gave my dead heart a coronary.”

  Maggie latched her hand around V’s as they stepped closer to the window. The two were inseparable, and something twisted deep in my gut at that friendship, knowing how much I wanted it with V but knowing I’d never have it.

  The two women stood directly in front of the opening that now draped them in sunshine. Maggie stood tall, raising her head then turned back to all of us, grinning. “It works!” she shouted.

  “You’re not feeling queasy at all? Or faint?” Cian asked, his voice broken with worry.

  “I’m fine. I’m more than fine.” She twirled around, grabbing both of Vanessa’s hands as they danced around the room with the sun clearly visible and shining outside. Cian was the first to break his stance and run to the light, I came in right afterwards. Cian went to his woman, and I stood at the window. At first, it hurt my eyes, and I shielded them. Ari handed me a pair of shades. Apparently, he had a pair for everyone, except Elvis, who already wore them most of the time.

  I put them on, and silence filled the room as we all stood around, watching the sun. The warmth of Vanessa’s presence radiated beside me, filtering in to my heart and it took every ounce of willpower not to look at her. I wanted to grab on to V, yank her against me and whisper in her ear that I couldn’t wait to see her naked body in front of an opened window in the middle of the day while I licked and nipped at her soft skin in between the goosebumps I imagined giving her.

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful it was,” somebody whispered. I think Gage.

  “When can they have the rest of the windows done?” Cian asked. No one took their eyes from the sight outside.

  “If I call them first thing Monday morning, they can have them all in by Wednesday afternoon.”

  “Do it,” I said. I could feel Vanessa’s smile, and it warmed me almost as much as I imagined the sun would on a cloudless, sunny day. I could stand here and admire the magnificence of Earth’s closest star, but I would still never be able to bask directly in the sun’s rays.

  After several minutes, everyone dispersed, getting drinks or whatever. I strolled to the credenza to get myself somet
hing when my eye caught V walking out of the room. I wanted to go to her. I hoped she hadn’t changed her mind about singing tonight. I set the glass down and followed her out, catching her arm with my hand.

  “Wait. Where are you going?”

  She turned to me with a scowl. Her eyes cold and annoyed. The sparkle in the emerald green she always had whenever she looked at me was gone. It looked like she hated me.

  “I’m going to my room. Why?”

  “Are you going to sing tonight?” I whispered, just in case anyone was close.

  “Yes, Lane. I meant the things I said.” The snippy tone of her voice choked me. Everything I’d said to her on the bridge came flooding into my mind, strangling my thoughts. I still wanted to do all of that.

  “Vanessa. I meant all the things I said, as well.”

  “Really? Then why the sudden coldness after I…after you…you know.”

  I grabbed her around the waist and dematerialized with her to my room. She buckled over, clutching her stomach when I let go of her.

  After catching her breath, she stood and pounded her fists against my chest. “You can’t do that! You can’t just sweep me away like that.” Her voice was choked with emotion.

  “We needed privacy.”

  “Why? You made everything perfectly clear last night.” She was hurt, and I couldn’t blame her.

  “I needed privacy to talk to you. And I didn’t make it clear last night.”

  “You did.”

  “No. I screwed up. I need to tell you why I can’t do those things I said on the bridge.”

  “I thought we took care of the things keeping you from...from sex. Unless you lied about all that stuff about your father and Jewels just to…” She turned away from me, her cheeks blushing pink.