No Holding Back

by Dresden, Amanda

  Several times, Wade took a few steps back to survey Chris - making sure that not a single part of her was female.

  Chris finally spoke up to kill the silence while Wade sprayed her with men’s cologne.

  “Where’s Joe?”

  “He’s already inside waiting for us. I just wish I knew where the hell Os was.”

  Chris tried to look concerned but she hardly cared. Right now, there were more important things going on in her mind.

  “What’s this?”

  Wade flicked a piece of clothing that Chris had tucked into one of her back pockets.

  “Oh, uh…just a…good luck handkerchief,” she beamed.

  Wade’s forehead wrinkled. “Since when did you start using that?”

  “Since today!”

  She pushed his hand away and tucked the handkerchief back down into her pocket.

  “Whatever.”

  “Okay, so how do I look?”

  Wade took a step back and cocked his head to the side.

  “Try to square your jaw a little bit more if you can and it helps if you look like you’re pissed off,” Chris giggled but Wade corrected her. “And no smiling!”

  “Sorry,” Chris glared.

  “Perfect! Oh, that reminds me. I snuck inside earlier and got a look at how everything’s set up. The projector screens do suck, but they’re angled in such a way that if you just keep your head down, no one’s gonna see your face too much anyway.”

  “Cool.”

  Chris relaxed, feeling better about that bit of information. She almost felt like they’d pull this off without a hitch.

  “Got your sticks?”

  Chris brought them out from her other pocket and twirled them in the air, almost hitting Wade in the nose.

  “Always.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Real cute. Keep the tricks to a minimum and just stick to the song. You won’t be up there any more than five minutes, got it?

  “No problem.”

  Chris’ confidence, while remarkable, still puzzled Wade. If it were him, he’d be sweating bullets by now.

  “Are you sure there isn’t something you wanna tell me? I just get the feelin’ that-.”

  “To hell with your pansy-ass feelings!" she barked, "Now can we go? I wanna see a few solos before I go on.”

  Wade bit the inside of his mouth but gave in. “Alright. I suppose now’s a good a time as any.”

  They both walked to the door but Wade had to pry it open. Pete was out cold and he’d never get him to wake up in his condition.

  They walked in silence across the parking lot while Wade peered about nervously to see if they were being watched or followed before he spoke.

  “We’re gonna go in through the back. No one’s allowed back there but the bands, techies, and security. If we get separated somehow, just run to the bus as fast as you can.”

  “Okay.”

  Within arm’s length of the colossal amphitheater, Chris could already feel and hear the building vibrate from wild fans and blaring music. But it did nothing to rattle her. She was in complete control. The only difficult part now was stop herself from smiling while she, and she alone, kept her secret safe and sound.

  Chris kept her head down and eyes averted while she strolled inside of the building alongside Wade. To the unknowing eye, they looked like two regular guys. And for once, Wade was relieved he didn’t have to shield Chris from anyone. There were absolutely no fans allowed backstage. Period. But he would have given anything to be close to her, but he was scared to death to even look at her.

  Chris peered from underneath her hood and scanned her environment. Several bands she recognized smoked and joked while others spoke only with members of their own band, creating a circle around an invisible fire. Some groups waited for their drummers to go while others stayed and watched everything from behind the curtains, hidden from crowd.

  But no matter where they walked, she noticed everyone around her turn to look at Wade. And if they happened to be too close, they took a step back and out of his way, as if he exuded some kind of aura.

  “Hey, man! How’s it goin’?!”

  Wade extended a hand to the drummer of Strife, Rob Wilson.

  “Great! It’s good seein’ you here! Sup, Chris?”

  Chris nodded just to be polite, but tried not to speak. And so Wade quickly redirected Rob’s attention back onto himself.

  “So…I hope we’re cool with a little friendly competition.”

  Wade and Rob finally released their man grip on each other and Wade dug his hands deep into his pockets again. But Chris noticed at once how Rob’s disposition did a one-eighty at those words.

  “In all seriousness? Fuck the competition.”

  Wade was surprised. After all, he had known Rob and the rest of Strife for years. They toured together when Hess was still Heretic’s drummer and like Chris - he lived and breathed his drums.

  “Why? What’s up?”

  “Man... Ever since Dark Water came in here throwin’ their weight around, Rick’s been tryin’ to start fights all over the place. He’s already got two drummers disqualified.”

  Wade’s gut sunk even lower. So Rick was the reason why those bad feelings he had wouldn’t go away. And why he downed a whole bottle of TUMS since he arrived.

  “When this is all over,” Rob continued. “I’m gonna shove my sticks up his ass!”

  Wade roared with laughter. “I’d pay money to see that. You already go on?”

  “Yeah, about thirty minutes ago. Not like it matters anyway,” he sighed.

  Wade frowned. “Whadd’ya mean?”

  Rob hesitated and then looked directly Chris.

  “I’ve been playin’ drums my whole life, man. But I know talent when I see it. Everyone here has your back. Just blow away Rick’s drummer, would’ja? I’d give anything to see that asshole speechless.”

  Wade reached forward and shook Rob’s hand again before he reached for Chris.

  “That means a lot comin’ from you, man. Thanks.”

  “Alright, I’m outta here. I’m gonna go smoke.”

  Rob smiled weakly and fisted Chris’ shoulder as he walked by. But Chris had trouble keeping her emotions together. She wanted to smile, but she couldn’t. To her, receiving the blessing of a fellow drummer felt like she had the blessing of them all.

  “Hey,” Wade said suddenly, snapping Chris out of her stupor. “Let’s go. I think I see Joe.”

  Chris filed in behind Wade as he cleared a path through other band members all while he greeted and shook hands with singers and musicians alike. Chris was still absorbing was Rob had said when Wade turned to speak to her.

  “You know it’s really hard for someone to do that.”

  “Do what?” she asked in a low voice.

  “To admit when someone else is better than you.”

  At first, she just wanted the chance to play drums and without having to hide who she really was. Now, this turned out to be more than just some competition. To Chris, there was so much more at stake.

  “Joe!” Wade yelled in his ear, startling him on purpose.

  “Jesus! Dude! Where the fuck have you guys been?!”

  “Getting ready," Wade answered casually. “You seen Os anywhere?”

  “No, but Dark Water’s drummer’s going on soon,” he said, and then looked at Chris. “How ‘bout you, Chris? Shots ‘er on me if you win!”

  “I think you mean when I win.”

  Joe nodded. “Yep. You’re ready t-. Oh Jesus, fuck me…”

  Just as Joe melted into sarcasm, Wade heard an oily voice from behind him.

  “Well, well, well.” Wade inwardly cringed at every syllable and turned to see Rick along with this heavily tattooed minions from Dark Water. “I bet Horace here twenty bucks that you wouldn’t show your face.”

  Rick nodded to his band mate and fellow guitarist - an average musician as far as Wade was concerned. But too much of a pierced freak machine for Wade to get upset over.

  �
��How many times do I have to tell you, Rick?” Wade continued, having fun with the situation. “You pay prostitutes - not whores.”

  Right away, Horace took a step forward, but Wade didn’t flinch before Rick held up his hand - preventing his band mate from moving any further.

  Wade smiled when he saw he hit a nerve but just then, he would have given anything to get Dark Water disqualified - even if that meant taking one for the team and getting a bloody nose. But now, all he could do was situate himself directly between Rick and Chris. They had come so far and he couldn’t risk her being exposed.

  Despite the fact that Heretic was outnumbered by Dark Water, Wade stood with his feet firmly planted, mentally and physically refusing to budge.

  Rick smiled evilly at Wade, but then looked at Joe.

  “Joe, my man. Where the hell’er you keepin’ that hot sister of yours?”

  “What?!”

  Caught off guard by the question, Wade immediately stepped in, holding up a hand in front of Joe, in the same way Rick did to his own. He should have known that Rick would try his hand against Joe. After all, he practically handed him information about his legendary temper.

  “She’s around,” Wade said coyly.

  “Good. Maybe after my guy wins this, she’ll wanna stop by for a little…’victory celebration’.”

  Rick licked his lips and laughed along with the rest of his band. As much as Wade wanted to wipe the floor with him, he maintained his composure. He could even tell that Chris was starting to become anxious when he felt several of her deep breathes hit the back of his shirt.

  “Hey, Joe?” Wade asked his friend, while maintaining eye contact with Rick. “How much money do you think daddy had to dish out to get his one and only son a record label?”

  Joe snickered while all of the laughter seemed to fade from Rick and the rest of his group.

  “Do you really think you’ll be laughing after we take home a hundred g’s from a scrub band like you? Although, if I were you? I’d use it to fix up that piece of shit you call a bus.”

  By this time, Joe was furious and had it not been for Wade keeping him back, he would have pounced on him. And as much as Rick’s obnoxious smile made him want to hurt small animals, Wade’s grin became bigger.

  “We both know you’re not here for the money, Rick. So why even bother showing up? I’m sure you get a blank check every year for your birthday,” Wade sneered.

  “You’re right about one thing, Wade. It’s not about the money,” Rick agreed, stepping closer. “It’s about who’s the best.”

  But Wade wouldn’t back down, not even when Rick’s foul breath hit his face.

  “Oh, I think sales speak for themselves-.”

  “Sales are overrated – just like this new drummer of yours,” Rick interrupted, breaking eye contact long enough to try and steal at peak at Heretic’s drummer. “I hope for your sake, Wade that he’s not into little kids either.”

  Rick had his entire crew rolling with laughter while he gestured to Chris.

  Wade smiled. “Not to worry, Rick. You’ll be perfectly safe.”

  Rick’s smile dropped from his face and the rest of his crew fell silent. Joe, however, burst into gut-wrenching laughter. He knew he could beat him at verbal judo any day of the week, but he was outnumbered, desperately needing Os to even the odds.

  “Where the hell did you find such a scrawny piece of shit?” Rick asked.

  By now, Wade was growing irritated and not just for his sake. From behind, he could feel Chris growing restless with Rick’s teasing comments by the second.

  “There’s more than meets the eye,” Wade fired back.

  “Not from where I’m standin’,” Rick grinned.

  “Well, you always did come up short on most things, Rick,” Wade said, taking advantage of the face that he had a few inches on him.

  “You honestly believe you can put some nameless bum up against my boy, Geoff? He’ll drop you so fast-!”

  Before Rick could get out another word, a deep voice rocked Wade from behind.

  “I’ll drop you, asshole!”

  The voice was so low and guttural, it caught Wade by surprise when Chris suddenly shot out from behind him. But he was nowhere near quick enough to stop her, and watched in horror as she shoved the blunt end of her drumsticks directly into Rick’s gut.

  “OOOHHFFF!” Rick cried out and stumbled back onto the floor.

  Wade didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or yell at Chris, but he grabbed her by the waist and tore her away from the fray she wanted so desperately to be in. He struggled to keep her from hitting Rick again, that even Joe had to lend him a hand.

  But Rick, with the help of his other band mates, regained his footing and got to his feet. Breathing heavily, he now hunched over and cradled his tender stomach.

  “Looks like I win, Wade. Consider yourself…disqualified,” he sneered triumphantly.

  But Wade didn’t bat an eye.

  “For what? I didn’t see anything. Did you, Joe?”

  “See what, man?” he answered back with a wide grin.

  “You’re lousy at math, Wade,” Rick spat, gesturing to his crew. “You’re out-numbered. Who do you think the judges will believe?”

  But Wade had had enough. He came forward and grabbed onto Rick’s leather coat - pulling him in and almost spitting in his face.

  “Do yourself a favor, ass-hat, and get the hell outta here before someone messes up that pretty face of yours!”

  Rick laughed breathlessly, but then pulled away from Wade with a sharp jerk.

  “And who’s gonna do that, huh?” Rick bellowed, grabbing the attention of every other musician within earshot. “You?! Don’t forget where you are!”

  Wade smirked. “Funny. I was about you tell you the same thing.”

  Rick became put-off as though he didn’t understand Wade’s statement. But Wade smiled broadly when every person he recognized in the metal world slowly encircled Dark Water while they argued. Now, Rick and his crew were nothing more than cornered animals.

  “Looks like you’re the one outnumbered,” Wade winked.

  “Heh. So it’s like that, is it?”

  “Yeah. It is,” Wade shot back.

  “Fine,” Rick said, straightening his jacket needlessly. “We’re done here…”

  Rick turned and walked through several dozen musicians, rudely pushing past most of them until he disappeared.

  Wade breathed a sigh of relief and he was surprised to see so many come to his defense, assuming they all wanted Dark Water to leave as much as he did. Still, he couldn’t have been more thankful, and some gave Wade a slight nod of understanding – a simple gesture that made his eyes water. He knew they didn’t have to step in, yet his heart swelled with gratitude at the rival drummer community who were ready to stick up for Heretic. But now, Wade turned his attention to Chris.

  A part of him wanted to yell and scream until he was blue in the face. But the other wanted to run his fingers through her hair and kiss her for such a ballsy move. However, Joe was the first to speak.

  “Dude,” he whispered harshly. “My hot...sister!?”

  “I’ll explain later. You on the other hand!”

  Wade looked at Chris with heated disapproval while she braced herself for a lecture.

  “Are you mad?” she asked.

  Wade didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but he needed to make sure that Chris understood the seriousness of the situation.

  “Are you kidding!? I’ve wanted to do that shit for years!” Chris started to laugh but Wade stopped her. “But I also learn to pick my battles! Yours is out there!” he gestured to the stage. “Not here!”

  Chris hung her head ashamed of her actions, but then Joe started to jump up and down spastically.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell, man!?” Joe said, motioning to the dozens of cameramen who lined up just beneath the stage. “They haven’t shown up all weekend and now they’re here?”

  But Wade could
n’t have cared less. All he had to do was babysit Chris just a little longer, and then this nightmare would be over.

  “And that surprises you how? All they’re here for is Heretic and Dark Water. They don’t give a shit about anyone else.”

  It was the truth after all. Heretic’s rivalry with Dark Water made both bands a juicy target in the spotlight, but at that moment, Wade wished he was invisible.

  When he heard Axel’s booming voice fill the amphitheater, he focused entirely on Dark Water’s drummer – Geoffrey Henz. As expected, loyal fans went nuts and flashed homemade signs in the audience. Wade could feel the pounding of his own heart deep within his chest, like it was going to explode at any moment. Now, only minutes stood between Chris and her solo.

  Wade peered over at the far end of the stage where the rest of Dark Water was standing. Rick caught Wade’s gaze and smiled at him mockingly.

  “Okay,” Wade ignored Rick’s heckling stare and grabbed Chris by her shoulder. “Just remember: keep your-.”

  “My head down. Yeah, I know,” she finished.

  But Chris was far more concerned with Dark Water’s drummer than she was with Wade’s rules – rules they had already gone over dozens of times before.

  “Right. And don’t look directly at the crowd or into those fucking cameras!”

  Wade didn’t know why he bothered to keep quiet, he could barely hear himself think over so much damn noise. But while Chris studied Geoff with cruel intensity, Joe’s head began to bob up and down in tune with his beat.

  Wade’s shoulders dropped and he rolled his eyes at his friend’s idiocy and smacked him upside his head.

  “Ouch! Man, what the fuck?! What’d I do!?” Joe said, rubbing his head.

  “Why the hell’er you bee-boppin’ to this shit?”

  Joe looked down ashamedly. “Sorry…”

  “Would you relax!?” Chris said, smacking Wade on the arm. “Last time I checked, I’m the one who’s goin’ out there!”

  Wade looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. He knew he was taking his stress out on Joe without meaning to, but he turned to face his friend regardless.

  “Sorry, Joe. I guess I just need a beer.”