Oliver Fibbs and the Clash of the Mega Robots

by Steve Hartley

  The limo pulled up outside Mr Zipparolli’s mansion, and James helped Peaches as she stepped from the car. Zoot’s mum and dad came down the steps to greet us. Zoot had just introduced us when we heard a squeal of brakes and the growl of a high-powered engine. A gleaming silver Ferroni sports car sped up the driveway towards us.

  Zoot’s dad laughed and shook his head. ‘Here come the Braggs.’

  Bobby’s dad was driving, and with screeching, smoking tyres, he threw the car into a handbrake turn then reversed at speed the final twenty metres to the front of the house. I saw Bobby grinning at us from the back seat as his dad revved the engine hard before finally turning it off.

  ‘New motor, Antonio,’ shouted Mr Bragg, leaping from the car. ‘Top of the range, nought to sixty in three nanoseconds, and cost me over a hundred grand. Better than that walloping great bus of a limo you’ve got!’

  ‘It’s very nice, Robert,’ said Mr Zipparolli. ‘But a little too noisy for me.’

  ‘Hey, Junior, get out of the car,’ yelled Bobby’s dad. ‘Your mates are here.’

  Bobby strolled over to us, and nodded at the Ferroni. ‘Cool set of wheels, eh, Zoot?’

  Zoot shrugged.

  ‘I like the colour,’ said Peaches. ‘It won’t show the dirt.’

  ‘Sis!’ called out Bobby’s mum, kissing Mrs Zipparolli on each cheek. ‘Loved your new book, The Howl Factor! TV talent show and werewolves – great stuff.’

  ‘I found one of your other books in the school library,’ said Peaches, pulling a pen from her little silver bag. ‘Would you sign it, please?’

  ‘Come into the house and meet the stars,’ said Zoot’s mum, scribbling her name on the title page.

  We left Bobby and his dad giving Mr Zipparolli a tour of the new car, and went inside.

  ‘I didn’t know you were in the film,’ said Peaches when she met Ritzy Savoy.

  The two famous actors glanced at each other and smiled.

  ‘I’m not,’ Ritzy answered. ‘I’ve come to see George. I love your earrings.’

  Bobby’s mum pushed in front of Peaches. ‘And I love your diamond ring!’ she said to Ritzy, grasping the film star’s left hand. ‘It’s just like the one Bobby Senior bought me when we got engaged, only my diamond’s bigger.’ She waggled her hand to show off the sparkly jewel on her finger. ‘How much did it cost?’

  ‘I don’t know. You’d better ask George,’ replied Ritzy.

  Mrs Bragg hurried over to talk to George Looney, who was chatting with Zoot’s mum.

  Peaches stared at the ring on Ritzy’s finger. ‘Are you and Mr Looney really getting married?’

  Ritzy smiled, and put her finger to her lips. ‘It’s a secret. We’re going to announce it when the filming’s finished. We’ll have photographers and reporters pestering us day and night when they find out, and George doesn’t want the film to be spoiled.’

  Zoot took the three of us up to his room before dinner. It was huge, and had a pool table, a TV, a bookcase full of books and comics, a computer and . . . a Zybot!

  ‘I thought it was cool that you were building a , so I thought I’d have a go too,’ said Zoot. ‘But I can’t get it to work – I’m useless at stuff like that.’

  ‘Just like you, Fibbs,’ said Bobby, opening a game on Zoot’s computer.

  Zoot ignored him. ‘I was gonna ask if you could try to fix it for me.’

  I took the back off the Zybot and peered inside. I remembered how Algy said he’d repaired mine, and after checking the instruction manual I began to move some wires around, and fiddle with the pumps. I ummed and ahhed, nodded intelligently and repeated some of the words Algy had used, like ‘sprocket’, ‘gasket’ and ‘flange’. I reconnected the batteries, and got ready to turn on the toy.

  ‘Have you got a water pistol handy, by any chance?’ I asked Zoot.

  ‘No, why?’ he asked.

  ‘Never mind.’ I held my breath and pressed the green ‘POWER’ button on the remote control.

  The Zybot whirred into life. I shoved the joystick forward and it strode towards Zoot, growling, ‘He-llo, Mas-ter!’

  Zoot and Peaches were totally amazed, but not as amazed as I was. You could have felled me with a fig-roll.

  ‘Thanks, Ollie,’ said Zoot. ‘You’re !’

  Bobby laughed scornfully behind me. I shrugged like I’d seen Zoot do, in a cool, ‘it was nothing’ kind of way. Luckily, Zoot’s mum called us down to dinner before the had a chance to blow up and ruin everything.

  Dinner was fantastic: the grown-ups had plate after plate of fiddly fancy food, but we had pizza with any topping we wanted!

  ‘Of course, at home,’ said Mrs Bragg, ‘Bobby Junior often has caviar on his pizza.’

  ‘Not that often, Mum,’ said Bobby, frowning at his mother, and fidgeting with his knife and fork.

  Zoot leaned over and whispered to me, ‘It’s fish eggs! Bobby once told me he sneaks it to the dog under the table!’

  Mrs Bragg laughed and pinched her son’s cheek. ‘Have I embarrassed you, Bobby-kin?’

  ‘No,’ said Bobby, pulling away from his mum. ‘I’d like big chunks of steak on my pizza, please.’

  ‘Good lad!’ barked Mr Bragg. ‘Food of champions. Will make you strong.’

  I asked for pepperoni and baked beans, and when the pizza came I saw that the chef had made a pepperoni volcano in the centre, with a lava flow of beans cascading down the meaty mountain and spreading out across the cheese and tomato base. There was no way Mum would have let me get away with that – spectacular!

  ‘Ever thought about going into business, George?’ asked Mr Bragg, munching on a mouthful of smoked salmon.

  The film star opened his mouth to answer, but Bobby Senior carried on regardless. ‘I export to twenty-three countries ond I’m opening a factory in China next month. I come from a family of winners. When Bobby Junior takes over the family business, he’ll be a winner too.’

  ‘He’s sprinting in the County Championship finals on Sunday,’ said Mrs Bragg.

  ‘And losing’s not allowed,’ added Mr Bragg, pointing his knife at his son.

  ‘Don’t worry, Dad,’ said Bobby, glancing at Zoot. ‘I’ll win.’

  ‘Pea won a Jolly Roger badge last month,’ I told everyone. ‘You know, from the TV programme. She collected plastic bottle tops to help save the South American warty toad from extinction.’

  It was like : all the grown-ups went, ‘Oooooooooo.’

  Peaches blushed. ‘Ollie! George and Ritzy both won Oscars last year; they won’t be impressed because I won a Jolly Roger badge.’

  ‘Are you kidding?’ exclaimed George. ‘You helped save a toad! How cool is that!’

  ‘I always wanted a Jolly Roger badge,’ said Ritzy. ‘But I never won one – I think I’d rather have that than an Oscar!’

  After dinner, we all headed for the enormous games room. There was another pool table, a dartboard, table tennis and dozens of board games.

  George and Ritzy were great fun. Peaches and I beat them at pool, but lost at Twister.

  Later on, Zoot asked me to tell one of my , so I did the one about the . As I told the story, George and Ritzy acted out some of the scenes with me and Peaches, pretending to be man-eating plants and killer frogs.

  Every time the Show-off was mentioned, I saw Peaches glance at Bobby Junior, but he just sat there, stony-faced and silent. He was like an overfilled balloon all evening, tight and ready to burst at the slightest jab. He didn’t speak much, and made sure he wasn’t against Zoot in any game we played.

  As we were getting ready to leave, I asked Mr Looney if he would sign two autographs to Emma and Gemma.

  ‘I’ll give you my autograph, if you give me yours,’ he replied.

  ‘Why do you want mine?’

  ‘Because I think you’ll be famous one day.’

  ‘Yeah, Oliver Tibbs and his Big Fat !’ said Bobby.

  George laughed. ‘They’re not , are they Ollie?’ he said. ‘They’re stories!’<
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  I’d had the best night of my life, and was just thinking what a totally amazing this was going to make on Monday, when Ritzy Savoy took us to one side.

  ‘Kids, please don’t tell anyone I was here,’ she said. ‘The press are sniffing around, and if it gets out that George and I are getting married we won’t have a minute’s peace. Do you promise to keep it a secret?’

  ‘We promise.’

  Bobby and his parents roared away with another squeal of tyres, and James took me and Peaches home in the limo.

  When I walked into the house, my family were waiting for me in the hallway.

  ‘Well? Did you meet George Looney?’ asked Emma.

  ‘Or was it one of your little jokes?’ added Gemma.

  ‘Yeah, he was there, and so was –’ I froze, remembering my promise – ‘Peaches.’

  ‘Did you talk to him?’ asked Mum.

  ‘Yeah, and we played games with him and . . . Zoot’s mum.’

  It was a nightmare! They fired questions at me, and went ‘’ and ‘’ when I answered them, but I managed to get through my interrogation without mentioning Ritzy once. Finally, I gave my sisters their autographs.

  ‘Ollie! You’re the best brother ever!’ screeched Emma. ‘Even if you are a worm!’

  ‘And a slimeball,’ squealed Gemma.

  ‘And a toad,’ they added together.

  You see? They love me really.

  On Monday morning, Zoot reminded Peaches, Bobby and me that we were sworn to secrecy about George and Ritzy.

  ‘I had a friend in the States who took sneaky photos with his phone on the set of one of my dad’s films, and sold them to the press,’ he told us. ‘Dad went ballistic, and that kid’s not my friend any more.’

  ‘The sensible thing to do is not say anything about it at all,’ suggested Peaches. ‘Just in case.’

  ‘I don’t need to talk about the party,’ said Bobby. ‘I’ve always got something good to say for – unlike some people.’

  When Miss Wilkins called him up, he shot from his chair and strode to the front.

  ‘On Sunday, I won the Regional one hundred metres race,’ he announced, holding up his gold medal. ‘I’ve qualified for the national squad trials.’

  ‘How fantastic!’ cried Miss Wilkins, leading the class in applause.

  Bobby stared at Zoot, and didn’t take his eyes off him all the way back to his seat. I saw him whisper something to Toby Hadron as he sat down again.

  The other kids stood up and did their presentations.

  Leon Curley had grown a lemon tree from a pip.

  Millie Dangerfield had made a sock-puppet.

  Toby Hadron said he’d made alterations to his lie detector – The Ping Pong Machine – and it was foolproof now.

  He looked at me.

  I looked at Miss Wilkins.

  She looked amused.

  There were more sticky blobs and wires than last time, but after lots of fiddling the machine was finally ready. Toby asked me a few easy questions to test that the and were working properly. Then he asked me what we did at Zoot’s house on Friday night.

  I looked at Peaches and saw her mime a zip going across her mouth.

  ‘We had pizza and played Twister,’ I said.

  !

  ‘Who was there?’ he asked.

  As I went through the list, the machine went after each name. I didn’t mention Ritzy.

  Toby glanced at Bobby, who nodded. ‘Is that everyone?’

  ‘Yes,’ I replied.

  !

  ‘Lie! Lie! You’re a pumpkin pie!’ shouted Bobby.

  ‘Who else was there?’ asked Toby.

  Zoot flashed me a look of warning as Bobby grinned triumphantly.

  ‘Er . . . well . . . there was another person there,’ I said. ‘James, the driver!’

  !

  Bobby looked furious, and opened his mouth to say something else. He was obviously trying to make me spill the beans about the engagement, and make Zoot fall out with me. I had to think of something quick.

  I thought about how if I hadn’t helped Peaches organize the library, I wouldn’t have found out that Zoot liked comics, and he wouldn’t have become our friend.

  . . .

  ‘Something else happened this weekend,’ I told the class. ‘The Megabot had destroyed the headquarters, but Captain Common Sense and I managed to escape. We went undercover, and set up a new HQ inside a school library . . .

  !

  !

  ‘You see,’ I heard Millie Dangerfield whisper to Leon Curley. ‘It is true.’

  ‘The got our message,’ I went on, ‘and took the bait . . .’

  ‘We didn’t have to wait long before we heard the stomp, stomp, stomp, of the ’s massive metal boots.’

  !

  Toby stared at the lie detector and frowned. ‘Not again . . .’

  I looked around the classroom. Everyone was gripped by my story.

  ‘The Megabot smashed through the doors, its laser eyes flashing. Captain Common Sense stepped out from behind the librarian’s counter and began to read from a book.’

  !

  Toby had been checking his machine while I talked. He scratched his bead. ‘I don’t get it,’ he said. ‘The machine was working properly when we started.’

  Bobby Bragg groaned in frustration. ‘It’s broke! It’s broke! The story is a joke!’

  ‘While the android was distracted by the tale of Rosie the Robot’s missing teddy,’ I continued, ‘I sneaked up behind and carefully unscrewed the control panel on its back.’

  !

  ‘I don’t understand it, miss,’ said Toby Hadron. ‘Oliver is definitely telling the truth.’

  Miss Wilkins smiled. ‘Well, Oliver’s stories are very real to him.’

  ‘Or I really am ’ I protested.

  !

  Bobby snorted. ‘Well, ,’ he said, ‘the Show-off’s not going to give up that easily.’

  Toby pulled the tangle of wires off me, and the other kids did their s.

  Hattie Hurley presented us with yet another Word Search, this time with rude words like, ‘balderdash’, ‘baloney’, and ‘bunkum’.

  Peaches told everyone that the library reorganization was finished, and showed us a plan of the shelves, explaining where each section was.

  Finally, Zoot stood up. ‘I’ve not done anything special this week, just read a few comics with Ollie.’

  ‘How . . . literary!’ said Miss Wilkins. ‘I heard you’re a really good runner. Why don’t you tell the class about that?’

  Zoot nodded. ‘Sure. Last year, I broke the North American junior hundred metres record.’

  Once again, the class went, ‘Wowwwww!’

  ‘How extraordinary!’ exclaimed Miss Wilkins.

  ‘You’ll be able to race against Bobby at the school Sports Day next week,’ said Jamie Ryder, grinning at Bobby.

  A murmur of rippled through the class.

  ‘Did you break any records this weekend, Bobby?’ asked Jamie.

  ‘No,’ answered Bobby, his voice as sharp and cold as an icicle. ‘But I’m doing special training. I’m getting faster and faster.’

  At break, Zoot’s eyes lit up when I showed him the comic I’d brought in to read at lunchtime: .

  ‘That’s the one with Grizzly Grandma and her ferocious false teeth! I can’t wait! By the way,’ he went on, my copy of is on the plane. We should have it by Friday.’

  With each day that passed, I was getting more and more at the thought of finally reading the one comic I didn’t have. Everyone else seemed just as about Sports Day. The sprinting contest between Bobby and Zoot was the talk of the school.

  Every break and lunchtime, Bobby went on to the school field, practising his starts, and sprinting up and down. He would stop now and again to do press-ups and sit-ups then jumps to his feet and dash across the grass once more. He’d asked Toby Hadron to put together a scientifically proven training programme and special diet. (No pizza, I bet!)
/>   Toby stood with a stopwatch, timing Bobby’s runs, counting his press-ups and writing things down on charts.

  ‘He’s really serious,’ I said as we watched through the library window.

  ‘He’s really worried,’ said Peaches. ‘You saw what his parents are like. Bobby has to win.’

  On Friday morning, Zoot was waiting for me at the school gates, and hurried over as I got out of the car. He was carrying a huge library book, The Joy of Geology, by Petronella Rocklady.

  The twins glanced at him, then carried on talking about their dancing. They’d got their George Looney autograph, and so Zoot wasn’t interesting to them any more.

  ‘Ooo, rocks rock!’ said Algy, reaching for the big book. ‘Can I have a look?’

  ‘Er, not just now, Algy,’ replied Zoot. ‘I’ll bring it round to your house tonight when I come over to play chess with you.’

  He cracked open the book a little to show me what was hidden inside. The cover of peeked out from the pages.

  I tried to speak, but nothing came out of my mouth. I’d dreamed of this moment: at last, I was finally going to read the only story that I’d never read before.

  ‘Wow,’ I breathed.

  We took our places in class, and Zoot put the rock book in his tray under the desk. All morning, the comic seemed to be calling, ‘Ollie! Read me, read me!’ It was torture! I stared at the table top, wishing I had X-ray eyes to be able to see the story through the wood.

  Just before break, Leon Curley had a nosebleed trying to work out a really hard sum. Hattie Hurley took one look at the blood dripping from his nose and fainted.

  As everyone fussed around them, I pulled open the drawer and sneaked a quick look at the comic. I noticed Bobby Bragg looking over to see what I was doing, so snapped the book closed and joined the rest of the class going ‘euugh!’ and ‘gross!’ at Leon.