Desire Behind Bars

by Salome Wilde

  “You’ve never…?” I considered saying “fucked anyone,” but it sounded crude, not to mention impossible. “You’ve never been with anyone here before?”

  “In this place?” She drew back and looked at me like I had three heads. “Hell no.”

  “Well, I’ve only ever been with one woman, ever,” I confessed in a rush.

  She grinned. “I didn’t think you’d been with any women at first. I took you for a straight girl.” Her fingers traveled inside my shirt, teasing my skin along the waistband.

  “I was a straight girl, until—”

  “Don’t,” she ordered, covering my lips with her fingers. I kissed them and watched her eyes turn tender. She leaned in close, nuzzling my hair. Her nose bumped against my temple. “You aren’t a straight girl, Aims, or you wouldn’t be standing here waiting for a stone butch like me to feel you up.”

  “I suppose not,” I agreed, wrapping my fingers around the back of her head, cradling the base of her close-cropped skull, stroking the fine fuzz at the back of her neck.

  She leaned her forehead against mine. “If you let me, I’ll take good care of you,” she promised. I could taste her breath, anticipate the flavor of her kisses. “I am going to make you feel so fucking good.”

  Already I was aroused to the point of nausea. A drawn-out seduction was unnecessary because I’d made up my mind to let her do anything and everything with me that long-ago first day in the greenhouse.

  “Yes,” I breathed.

  “I wanted you the first time I saw you.” Her lips barely brushed over mine, teasing, making me squirm against her. “You and that sad, sweet smile. I saw all that pain in your eyes and I wanted to be the one to make it go away.” My fingers brushed over her shorn silver hair, slid down the back of her neck. She sighed happily under my touch and I was gone, so gone.

  She took my mouth hard then, pressing me into the wall. My nipples sprang to attention inside my shirt as her hand traveled up, up, pausing for a moment to tug at the center of my bra where the cups joined. When her pinky brushed the swell of my left breast, the kiss stifled my gasp. She slid her hand up to cup it in her hand and I groaned into her mouth.

  Shoving my shirt up, she pulled my bra down so my tits were propped out at a ridiculous angle. My nipples could have cut glass. Every time they brushed against some part of her I felt it in my belly, my spine and between my thighs.

  By the time her tongue touched my nipple my legs were shaking. I wanted her, but suddenly I was also terrified. I thought about Kitt, how we made love, both tentative at first and always similar in our gentle preferences. Kitt and I were equals in our inexperience, fumbling our way through sex until we figures out what felt right. Dan was an experienced lesbian, and I had no idea what to do with her.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to wonder long; she knew exactly what to do with me.

  The nipple-flicking was interspersed with leisurely lapping around the swells of my tits. She nuzzled between them and buried her face in my cleavage, sighing happily. By the time she closed her teeth lightly around a nipple, I forgot my name, let alone my worries. I loved every touch, every sensation she drew from me. She sucked slowly, gently, while I cradled her head to me, arching my back to press into her mouth.

  When I tried to touch her breasts in return, however, she grabbed my wrist to stop me. She wrapped my arm around her instead, placing my hand firmly on her ass. Popping off a swollen nipple, she ordered gruffly, “Keep your hand right there.” I obeyed without question, squeezing and kneading her ass, loving the happy sounds she made deep in her throat as my hands roamed over her butt. When she thrust her muscular thigh between my legs, I delighted in the pressure against me. Immediately, I started rubbing myself off on her, grinding down on her leg for dear life. I was embarrassingly wet, sure that I was going to leave a damp spot on her pants, but it didn’t stop me.

  “That’s it, Aims,” she crooned in my ear, palming my nipples and rocking her thigh into me. “Ride my leg. Rub that beautiful cunt against me.”

  Faster than I ever had before, I felt the promise of a climax crawl up my spine. My face was sweaty and I was hot all over. I wanted my clothes off, but we didn’t have time. I was so close, so fucking close, when Dan took my earlobe between her teeth. She bit down as I broke, choking her name and whimpering against her as I was split into a million pieces and put back together in her arms.

  “That’s my girl,” she whispered as I trembled in the wake of my orgasm. She covered my body with her own, and her lips brushed over mine, chaste again, until I swiped my tongue just under her top lip. She cursed softly and then crushed my mouth with her own, tongue probing in tandem with mine.

  When we finally pulled apart we were both panting. Her hands moved straight down my body to the drawstring of my pants, and with one swift gesture she undid the knot. Slipping her hand into my panties, she found my wetness and I watched her face as she reveled in it. I bit my lip as she pushed two fingers inside, then drew them back out and around the swollen bud of my still-sensitive clit. I bucked involuntarily against her hand, making her chuckle softly.

  “We have twelve minutes,” she murmured, gazing down at me, her fingers still working between my thighs. “I think I need to eat your pussy.”

  She registered the powerful tremor between my thighs by chuckling again before kneeling in front of me, dragging my pants and underwear down my hips as she sank. When they were puddled around my ankles, she wrapped her arms around my hips and pressed her face into my patch of damp curls. For a moment she just stayed there, inhaling me, a soft growl coming from the back of her throat. Then, she reached out and propped one of my feet on an upside-down bucket so she could spread me wide with her thumbs.

  I squeezed my eyes closed and waited. The first touch of her tongue was so electric my legs started trembling. They didn’t stop as she licked and sucked, burrowed her tongue into me, rubbed her entire face in my wetness. I had never been eaten that way, not with so much raw enthusiasm and need. Kitt had been tentative at best, preferring to receive rather than give. Sex with my ex was infrequent and perfunctory, usually following a slightly demeaning request to shower first, which made me self-conscious about the way I smelled and tasted. Dan, by contrast, fed on me like she couldn’t get enough. My hips picked up her rhythm, bucking against her mouth. I chanted her name under my breath as she worked her fingers in, along with her lips and tongue, feasting messily. When I opened my eyes and saw her kneeling on the floor, practically worshiping me, the trembling turned to full-body quaking, and I felt a second climax gathering inside me.

  Over Dan’s moans and slurps, I could hear voices in the hallway. The thought of coming while all those women walked by us, oblivious to what was happening in this closet, made my arousal that much keener. Dan latched on to my clit with her teeth, tugged, and commenced feverishly sucking. She glanced upward and our eyes met. She moaned against me and at that extra bit of sensation I shattered, a long ribbon of ecstasy unfurling as she kept her tongue pressed hard against me. I bit my own wrist to keep from crying out as I gripped the back of Dan’s head and rode her face until the contractions subsided.

  “Oh my God,” I gasped as she rose, tugging my clothing back up around my hips.

  She grinned and wiped her mouth with the inside of her undershirt before kissing me softly and whispering, “Good, baby?”

  Tasting myself on her lips and breath, I nodded fervently. Desire roared to life inside me again, but Dan had already tied up the drawstring and patted me on the hip. “We gotta get out of here,” she murmured. “Should be getting the signal any minute now.”

  On cue, it came—two sharp raps on the door.

  “You’re covered,” she whispered, kissing me and pushing me toward the door. “You’ve got a minute before the guards walk down this hall. Go.”

  * * *

  That night in my bunk I replayed every detail of the events in the closet. Dan’s kisses and the way they made me ache for her. Her fingers and m
outh on me. The look on her face when I came. She’d ignited something in me and all I wanted was to keep burning. But back in my cell without her, I was suddenly terrified. I couldn’t lose this feeling again, not after Kitt. Dan’s attraction to me I understood. Even her friendship made some sense. I was pretty pathetic and she seemed a protective type. But she and I, as a couple, as a unit—it didn’t make sense. Other than my body, I couldn’t work out what I had to offer.

  Over the next few weeks, Dan found ways to tug me aside for stolen kisses. In the dining hall, she whispered detailed confessions of the things she wanted to do to me, so by the end of every meal I was pulsing between my thighs. I couldn’t get enough of her attention, but any time together was brief and dangerous. I didn’t want her to get caught violating rules as she was imminently due for release, though I selfishly wanted her to stay with me.

  One day over lunch, she mentioned her discharge date and I almost got up the nerve to ask if we would see each other again on the outside. We hadn’t talked about what would happen afterwards. I had eleven more months to serve, and it seemed like something we should discuss.

  Dan had her spoon halfway to her mouth when she noticed the change in my expression. Her visible concern made the backs of my eyes prick, but I smiled and told her I was just tired. She knew I was lying, but I’d rather she’d have thought I was a liar than a pathetic, clingy stalker. Kitt’s accusations in court echoed in my ears at the weirdest times: She imagined there was more to our friendship than there was. I have no idea how she came to the conclusion that I was in love with her. I’m a married woman.

  So, instead of speaking I burned, ached and waited. I prayed to whatever powers existed in the universe that Dan wouldn’t just walk away when she got out. That she would still want me on the outside. That I wasn’t just a prison fuck before she went back to her old life and forgot all about me. Yet the thought of what it would be like to participate in a real relationship with Dan in the world that had chewed me up and spit me out was beyond the powers of my imagination.

  * * *

  “Dan…Fuck…” I was flat on my back, shirt hiked up to my neck, bra hanging by the strap off one shoulder. My heels were on her shoulders, my hips in her hands, and her mouth was working magic between my thighs. Dan hadn’t mentioned her release again, and for three weeks since we’d been having secret rendezvous as often as possible. At the end of those weeks, Dan had somehow scored us the office in the back of the multipurpose room. As usual, I didn’t ask any questions. All I knew was that, for once, I wouldn’t have to be quiet because it was so secluded.

  She was spending so much time down there that her jaw had to hurt, but she wasn’t letting up and neither was my need. She alternately nibbled on my clit, lapped at my labia and tongue-fucked me, all while I squirmed and whimpered beneath her and caressed her buzzed head. My feverish skin prickled against her touch, and her fingers dug into my hips. I felt pleasantly damaged, entirely possessed. I was right where she wanted me, white-hot and nearly mindless.

  I grunted a litany of curses at the water-stained ceiling. My ass was sliding off the pile of mats on the old metal desk. “Please, Dan,” I begged. “Let me come.” I pinched one of my nipples hard, letting the pressure take over all other thoughts until I let it go and the bloom of pain mingled with the fire in my cunt. Dan chuckled against the inside of my thigh as if she’d been waiting for those words.

  “God, you’re beautiful. I want to be inside you,” she said.

  “Okay. Okay. Be inside me,” I panted. I thought she meant her fingers until I saw her carefully remove her watch and reach for a bottle of lube she’d managed to get on the down low.

  I panicked and sat up, pushing her backwards. “Um, Dan, I don’t think—” Her hands weren’t that big, but they were still hands. I’d never had anything bigger than an average-sized cock and a slightly oversized dildo inside me.

  I perched on the edge of the desk as she stood between my spread, trembling thighs. Her thumb went back to my clit, and I writhed against her touch.

  “No one’s ever been inside you that way, have they?”

  I shook my head adamantly. “No one’s ever done that. No one’s ever tried, and I don’t think—”

  “Trust me baby, yeah?”

  She kissed me softly, and that helped, but it was the “baby” that did it. I loved her calling me that. I needed her to be tender and affectionate so I’d know she wasn’t just fucking me. I longed to be special to her, unforgettable. Dan was the only person I’d let do anything at all to my body. In this place where trust seemed impossible, I trusted Dan. She’d given me the gift of gloves and then the gift of herself. I trusted the safety of her touch. But I was still absolutely terrified.

  “Aims, you’re burning up,” she crooned. “You want to come, don’t you? Let me make you come like you’ve never come before.”

  Just her words had me dripping, but I was still more than unsure.

  “I know what I’m doing,” she whispered as she eased me back on the mats. “But if it hurts too badly, tell me, and I’ll stop.”

  She doused her hand in the slippery gel and slicked it everywhere. Onto me. Into me. I heard the squelching of my fluids and the lube mixing together. She slipped fingers in me until I wasn’t even sure how many, and I writhed against her hand, welcoming the penetration.

  I didn’t even feel much of a stretch as she carefully pushed in more and more. All I could concentrate on was the delicious slide and those fingertips rubbing my G-spot, making me moan. She watched my face, clearly reading my fear and exploring for pleasure points.

  “Trust me?” she whispered.

  I nodded, but that wasn’t enough to satisfy her.

  “Say it,” she urged. “Tell me.”

  “I trust you,” I moaned. “Dan, I trust you. I trust you. I really do.” She had fingers inside me, maybe all of them, and her thumb on my clit.

  “Hold still.” Suddenly there was more pressure, so much of it, an almost searing, impossible wave of intensity. I cried out and then held my breath as Dan crooned, “Good girl, good girl. I have you, baby; it’s okay.”

  “Is your whole hand—”

  She shook her head. “Four fingers.”

  My panic was back in full force. “I don’t think your whole hand will fit. It’s too big. It’s too much.”

  I felt her fingers slip out again and rub over my swollen flesh. She leaned in, and we locked eyes as her fingers moved in lazy circles between my thighs, stroking slowly until I couldn’t lie still anymore. “Dan…”

  “Yeah, baby?” Looking down at me through half-hooded eyes, she slipped her fingers back in me and put pressure on my clit with the heel of her hand until I was shaking, mindless with the need to come. My back arched involuntarily and I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could, wanting to lose myself in the pleasure. I was close, so close. Then she stopped putting pressure on my clit.

  Seconds later, cool lube trickled onto my burning flesh and the shaking turned violent. Dan whispered, “I’ve got you, baby. Just let go.”

  I was completely in another’s hands, at her mercy, and that thought would’ve paralyzed me except that it was Dan, and I knew I could trust her.

  So, I stopped thinking altogether and gave myself over to waves of exquisite pleasure. They washed over me, taking me under again and again, leaving me quivering on the desk. When I opened my eyes, the only thing I could see was Dan’s face above me.

  “Ahh, Aimee, I wish you could see yourself right now,” Dan murmured hoarsely. “My god, baby, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

  I clutched at the hem of her shirt, desperate for contact, but when I slid my hand inside she tugged it back out, her touch gentle but insistent.

  “But I want—”

  She silenced me with a kiss, then breathed against my mouth, “This is what I need. You, like this, that’s what gets me off. Just like this.” Already she was working her fingers back into me, stretching me, causing pressure
unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I clung to her forearms as I felt her hand bearing into me. It was scary, like being at the chiropractor. It seemed impossible that she wouldn’t hurt me, but I wouldn’t have traded the terrifyingly delicious sensations for anything.

  “Breathe for me, baby.”

  I exhaled, realizing that I’d been holding my breath all this time. For a moment there was no trace of the previous pleasure, just a wall of discomfort that I struggled to push through. I could hear Dan telling me to relax and I tried, I tried, but my body didn’t want to cooperate. Until it did, finally, opening up in a way I’d been sure—even now—was utterly impossible.

  A satisfied sigh from Dan told me it was very possible.

  “That’s it,” she marveled. “Like a hot little glove,” she murmured. “Goddamn, Aimee.”

  My womb cramped in protest, but I just kept breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Over the slight movement of her hand inside me, pleasure rippled in the periphery.

  “You doing okay?”

  “Yes, but…” My legs shook violently. I was worried about being hurt, but all I could feel was the incredible fullness. Not quite pain. Not quite pleasure.

  “Squeeze me,” she urged, and I obeyed. A shimmer of pleasure appeared at the edges of my consciousness, like an aura, and I shuddered. I clenched again only to feel it moving closer. I clenched a third time to feel it closer still.

  Dan winced and grinned appreciatively.

  “Am I hurting your hand?” I asked, shocked and feeling dazed, as though someone had injected me with a sedative. My words sounded far away, as if I was floating away from myself.

  “Nope. But you’ve got strong muscles down there. Tell me if this feels good.”

  She held me by the breastbone and made some slight movement inside me that set off fireworks at the back of my spine. I gasped in surprise and tightened involuntarily.

  “Yes,” I breathed. “Oh, yes, that feels so good.” I had relaxed enough that I could feel beyond the fullness to the edges where the pleasure lurked, waiting to be coaxed out. Dan watched my face and gently rubbed my clit.