A Death Displaced

by Andrew Butcher

  The sofa cushions grew warm with her body heat. She started to drift off, then an idea leaped into her head. How had she not thought of it before? She had the ability to see spirits and talk to them; she could see her grandmother again.

  She sat back up and faced forwards. ‘Gran?’ she called out.

  Nothing happened.

  ‘Gran, I miss you.’ she said more forcefully. ‘I’d like to see you again.’

  Not a movement. She lumped back down on the sofa, frustrated. Why had other spirits appeared to her, but now she couldn’t even summon one of her choice?

  If her soul really was in the Otherworld, as Tamara had said, then was her soul with her grandmother’s soul? Tamara had mentioned a Spiritworld as well, are souls and spirits separate? For the first time, Juliet positively wanted to know more about her ability. Are souls eternal? Do I see people’s souls or is a spirit something else, like a leftover of someone’s life?

  She became irritated again, she yearned to know more but she didn’t want to ponder it. Pondering spiritually, the paranormal or anything related was not something she’d ever done before. You live, you die. That was all she believed in before the incident. Now she didn’t know what to believe, but she’d begun to realise that a spiritual side existed.

  I don’t want to think about it now.

  Cosy, wrapped in a slumber, her mind drifted to images of Nicolas at The Crow. His hazel brown-green eyes were captivating, but then it was hard to appreciate them with the dead woman sat a few tables away. Juliet removed Rowena from her dozy-dream… imagined Nicolas’s face again.

  She sprung up a sudden, opened her eyes.

  What is wrong with me?

  This was ridiculous; her cheeks flamed, embarrassed? At school, she’d pitied the other girls who laboured to function without their boyfriends, and the ones who fell head over heels at first sight. She recalled one girl who talked nonstop about her ‘soul mate’ as if her mind was plagued: a nidus of glorified images about a boy; he makes me complete; I’d do anything for him; I can’t live without him; he’s the one.

  They were pathetic.

  But now, Juliet couldn’t stop thinking about Nicolas.

  Maybe I can feel that way about someone?

  She laughed aloud, but she was too contrary to feel pleasant.

  There was excitement and dread about Grendel Manor, and that was enough to think about, but now there was a possible infatuation towards a guy she hardly knew.

  Am I infatuated? I’ve never felt this way before.

  ‘He saved you.’

  Juliet screamed. She was so deep in thought; the sudden voice frightened her. She turned her head and found Rowena Howard stood behind the sofa.

  ‘Don’t feel guilty.’ Rowena said in a wispy voice.

  ‘How do you know what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling?’ It hurt to talk after shrieking so loud. Her throat tasted bloody. She braced; the spirit could have come for revenge. Could spirits harm the living?

  ‘I see things differently now, or maybe not now.’

  Rowena’s spirit wore a dark green velvet robe, wrinkled, covering her legs and feet. Around her neck and resting between her breasts, she wore a necklace. It was silver and had two crescent moons on either side, facing opposite directions to one another. In the centre was a clear, circular gemstone that Juliet thought was meant to represent a full moon.

  Juliet wondered why spirits were clothed at all. Did they appear in the clothes that they died in or did they chose their apparel?

  ‘How did you die?’ Juliet asked.

  The air surrounding the spirit vibrated noticeably faster. It shimmered and twitched.

  ‘I was stood by the wall in the upper grounds. I looked out at the view from up there. I thought I heard sounds, like metal crunching, but there was nothing. I sensed something, an invisible force that was approaching me fast. Then it threw me over the edge.’

  Rowena walked casually around the downstairs living room. She stroked her ghostly hands across the furniture. It seemed to glow a little with her touch.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ Juliet shook her head. ‘I was meant to die. Not you.’

  ‘It’s okay. Now my body is dead, I’m not sure the deities I worshipped were real.’ The spirit laughed and it had a ringing echo to it.

  Juliet figured that Rowena was a Pagan (of some form) in life, so she could have worshipped many gods? Juliet really didn’t know much about any religions… at all.

  ‘You’re happy that you’re dead?’

  ‘Does it matter? I can’t do anything about it. I spent my life constantly wanting more, never being content with what I had. Now I see things clearly.’

  ‘Why did you mention Nicolas saving me?’

  ‘Because you two belong together. I see that.’

  ‘I barely know him. We’ve only just met.’ Juliet wasn’t one for romance stories. She didn’t believe in soul mates: she believed in freedom of choice.

  ‘You don’t trust in a reason for your being saved?’ Rowena asked in a rhetorical manner.

  ‘Things don’t happen for a reason. They just happen. The only things that make a difference are hard work, determination, trying your best. If you want to do well, that is.’

  Rowena didn’t reply, but instead, she smiled and gave a genial shrug of her shoulders.

  Juliet compressed her lips. She looked down in thought. Then she said, ‘What did you mean when you said, “I see that”? How could you know?’

  ‘I’d say… windows, overlapping. Fragments, reflections. I was adopted. I didn’t even know.’

  ‘You’re talking gibberish.’ Juliet frowned, ‘Where are you? Are you in the Otherworld? Do you know where my soul is?’

  ‘I don’t know where I am.’ apathetically, she replied.

  ‘What about my soul?’

  ‘I’ve never seen a soul.’ she shrugged again. ‘Juliet, I’m ready to move on.’

  ‘Move on? What do you mean? Move on to where?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  An unknowable panic came over Juliet. She’d hoped for clearer answers from Rowena, a better understanding, but this spirit didn’t appear to know much at all. She could apparently see things clearly now, but she didn’t know where she was or where she was going.

  ‘Can I do anything for you?’ Juliet asked, hastily, ‘Pass a message onto your family or something?’ She wanted to do anything to lighten her guilt.

  ‘Everything is as it should be.’

  The spirit of Rowena began to come apart at the edges. She started to dissipate, particles floated in every direction. The tiny pieces absorbed into the furniture, the floor, the ceiling: became a part of everything. Or did they pass through it all and disappear? Move on to another reality?

  Juliet squirmed as the fragments tingled through, against and into her skin, maybe becoming part of her. The room zinged with a potent energy. Rowena fell away into wavering bits of a spirit body. Surfaces gleamed, and Juliet thought she could hear the gentle tinkling of bells, calling for Rowena.

  Eventually there was nothing left, yet Juliet sensed a strange closeness to the spirit, like they were one, part of the same nothingness and part of everything.

  Rowena Helen Howard smiled the whole time that she dispersed. There was no way of telling how long it took; time didn’t seem to matter. Juliet came close to tears at the beauty of it. It comforted her to know that spirits could ‘move on’; they weren’t forever stuck in some kind of limbo spirit world.

  But even the magic of the moment didn’t convince her of Rowena’s words. You two belong together. How could she know that?

  Chapter 11

  The house chores that should have been done throughout the week turned out to be a pleasant pastime for Sunday.

  As Nick cleaned the house, he thought about Juliet, as he ironed his clothes, he thought about his ability to see the future and if he would ever gain control of it, as he washed the dishes, he thought about how unreasonable he’d been the night b
efore.

  He figured that the only way to make up for how he acted towards his dad would be to find out the truth about his mum’s death. He tried to bring forth what he already knew about Grendel Manor. It wasn’t a lot. People told stories about the place, but their tales never matched up.

  As far as he knew, there was just one man living at the manor. Some thought the place was haunted. There were tales of people going there but having no recollection of it, and also one story of a keen businessman who after visiting the manor, closed down his business and gave his money away to strangers in the street.

  The finer details were unknown to Nick, but then it was only gossip. Far-fetched gossip.

  The mystery surrounding Grendel Manor didn’t instil much faith in him but there was no way he would back out now.

  Another thing on his mind was how he’d taken Juliet’s story of his mum without any doubts at all. He’d trusted her simply because he’d seen the future, and to him that made her phenomena possible. She could be up to anything, he thought. If she was telling the truth, then were there other people with her ability?

  His world felt larger all of a sudden. There could be people with all kinds of abilities; telekinesis, telepathy, pyrokinesis, sixth sense, psychic healing, astral projection. Or even other beings, not entirely human.

  Whatever could be out there, he really wanted to trust Juliet. He thought she was beautiful and that there was something different about her. Well, obviously; she saw ghosts. But that wasn’t what he meant.

  It had been ages since he’d liked any one, he’d dated someone for a few weeks about a year ago, but he never liked her much and she didn’t seem interested either.

  In his life, he’d only ever had one long term relationship; it was awful, mostly. He was seventeen and her name was Kerra Evans. They were together on and off for almost two years.

  He never trusted her, he was afraid that he wasn’t good enough and that she would leave him for someone else or simply because she was bored of him. His insecurities led to arguments again and again. Later in the relationship, Kerra cheated on him with his best friend at the time, Alex Campbell, but he stayed with her because he thought he deserved as much.

  He just didn’t want to lose her.

  A few months later, Kerra cheated on him again. They argued and she told him that he had pushed her away; that she wanted to love him but he never let her.

  They decided to split up and Nick felt down for a long while. He found himself crying a lot in his spare time and he hated being at home around his dad. Both things were too much to handle together, so that’s when he moved out.

  Living away from his dad was supposed to help him feel better, but he still cried often; each time it felt like the end of the world. He spoke with his doctor who referred him to see Caroline and he’d being seeing her since.

  He didn’t get depressed much anymore but he kept seeing Caroline; he was enjoying the self-development side of it. Even with the improvement in mood though, there wasn’t much meaning to his life and he wanted something bigger and better, but then he had the vision.

  Things were changed now; there was meaning, he was different, he was special.

  On Monday morning, he drove to Chanton. His Vauxhall Corsa made unpleasant sounds that did not give him confidence. It took almost fifteen minutes to get there, and Juliet was waiting where she’d said she would be. She wore black wedge boots, navy skinny jeans and a thick black jumper.

  Nick was wearing a thin hooded black jacket that he’d had for years, a plain blue Primark tee-shirt, dark jeans and his black winkle-pickers.

  Pulling up on the side of the road, he rolled down the window and waved Juliet’s attention. She spotted him and hastened towards the car. She opened the door and sat in the passenger’s seat.

  ‘Hi.’ Nick said, but before she could reply, there was a loud clunk. A crow had landed on the bonnet. Juliet yelped and put her hand to her heart. The crow looked through the windshield, cawed at them and then flew out of sight.

  ‘Well… that’s a good start to the day.’ Nick said morbidly.

  Juliet laughed and it brought a smile to Nick’s face. They caught each other’s eyes and then Juliet looked ahead to the road.

  ‘Are we ready to go?’ she asked, looking out of the window as if they were already moving.

  ‘I’m ready if you are.’

  ‘I’m ready.’

  Nick didn’t speak at first, and neither did she. Chanton was at the northeast of the island, and Nick knew that Grendel Manor was somewhere to the northwest.

  Juliet sat with her hands together, rested on top of her knees which were brought together too. Nick thought she looked like she didn’t want to touch anything in the car. Or maybe she felt uncomfortable.

  He’d cleaned the car that morning so that she wouldn’t drown in rubbish or suffocate in the stale musk of an unclean car.

  ‘Are you a Wiccan?’ she asked out of nowhere.

  ‘No, are you?’

  ‘No.’

  Nick fell silent for a minute. He wasn’t sure if she was trying to make conversation or not.

  ‘Why?’ he asked.

  ‘You work in a crystal shop. I thought maybe you were into that kind of thing.’

  ‘I know a few people who are. My manager and another colleague are in a coven together. Most Wiccans I know are really nice.’

  ‘I don’t properly know any, but there are a lot of them on this island. I don’t believe in magic or psychic abilities… Well, I didn’t believe in anything like that until you saved my life. I don’t know what I believe now.’ she stayed with her eyes gazing out of the windows, even when Nick turned, trying to catch them.

  ‘I looked into becoming a Wiccan in the past.’ he started, ‘It seems like a nice religion; they are accepting of other people’s beliefs and it’s all earth-based. Some people think that it’s devil worship and casting spells on people, but it’s really not like that.’ he stopped talking and focused on the road.

  They had come to a narrow bridge which crossed the Aberfin River. It was only wide enough for one car, so he slowed down to ensure that no vehicles approached from the other direction. He noticed a red car in his rear mirror. It had driven behind him for a while but when he stopped to cross the bridge, it pulled over and put on its hazard lights.

  He drove over the bridge cautiously then continued what he was saying.

  ‘You do get people who say they are Wiccans or Witches, and they do those kinds of things, like trying to hex people. But they’re usually just wannabes or they want power of some sort. Most Wiccans believe that you can do whatever you want as long as it harms no one, and something like… whatever you do comes back to you times three. So if you hurt someone, it will come back to you worse. Or if you give out positive energy, it will be returned times three.’

  ‘It sounds a bit far-fetched to me.’ she said and scratched behind her ear.

  ‘Says the woman who sees ghosts…’ he mocked, maybe flirtatiously.

  She turned towards him as if to retaliate, but she didn’t. She pushed herself back into the chair to sit up straight then she crossed one leg over the other.

  ‘I suppose.’ she said. ‘But I’m not religious, and I’ve never been spiritual. If I hadn’t seen your mum’s spirit, I would have thought you were crazy telling people you saw the future.’ she said bluntly.

  ‘I might have thought you were crazy too, if I hadn’t had any visions. And anyway, you’re the only person that I’ve told.’ he smiled and turned to observe her reaction.

  ‘Really? Why haven’t you told anyone else?’

  ‘Who would believe me? And also, you ran off after the incident. No one knew that you were there. I don’t think the drunk driver even saw you. If I told people I saw the future and saved a woman’s life, they would think I had delusions of grandeur; imagining a woman into existence for me to be all heroic and save in the nick of time.’

  She laughed quite hard and twisted to look at him, �
�I really am sorry about that. I should have stayed.’ then she relaxed her posture, though Nick sensed that laughter wasn’t something that came to her naturally.

  ‘I’ll let you off this time, but don’t run away next time I save your life.’ he teased.

  She didn’t seem to take his attempt at flirtation too well, and went silent for a few minutes. Maybe she didn’t like him suggesting that she needed someone to save her life again. Maybe she wasn’t here to be flirted with. Maybe she didn’t like him full stop. Maybe she didn’t realise he was trying to joke with her. Maybe I’m overthinking this completely.

  Then she asked, ‘How old are you?’

  ‘Twenty four, almost twenty five. You?’

  ‘I’m twenty five. Twenty six in December.’ she scanned his face, ‘You look younger than twenty four.’

  ‘Is that a bad thing?’

  ‘No, not really.’ Her voice wavered.

  Nick had been driving almost ten minutes. He hadn’t seen any houses for a couple of miles, and the road only seemed to be going in one direction.

  The red car from earlier appeared in Nick’s mirror view. He thought it was odd, so he signalled and pulled up on a muddy side, observing the red car’s reaction.

  It mimicked his behaviour, slowing then stopping. It kept its distance. He twisted and gave it a hard stare through the back window. He couldn’t make out who was in the driver’s seat.

  ‘What’s going on, Nicolas?’ Juliet asked, turning to see what he squinted at.

  ‘I think we’re being followed.’

  She pulled a face of disbelief, ‘Why would anyone follow us?’

  ‘I’m not sure, but I’ve seen the red car behind us twice now, and every time that I’ve slowed down, it’s copied me and stayed well behind or pulled over completely.’