Distorted Perceptions

by Diana W

  Denise didn’t respond right away but moved her things off the two-person seat that would serve as her bed for the night, patting the newly available space. I got up from by Elliott and took my place next to her.

  “Soooo,” I hummed, hooking my arm around hers. “Should I guess?” I mean Denise didn’t have that many issues she didn’t like to discuss with me so I could safely assume it was about Gerald.

  “I threw Gerald’s little nasty socks at him before I left to come here,” she huffed. “Gonna tell me it’s not like whatever I think it is, like I’m supposed to believe him. I mean if he thinks I’m not attractive anymore, then he could just say that, but he doesn’t have to lie. Of course, I can't compare to some damn designed animation. Who the fuck can? I’m not about to go get nipped and tucked for his satisfaction. I look good God dammit. You remember how much weight I gained with Tyler?”

  Ok. So maybe I shouldn’t have asked her anything.

  “DeeDee,” I attempted to calm her. “Slow down. Gerald made a comment about your size?”

  “Well no,” she turned to face me. “But that’s the only thing it could be. Why would he just suddenly start doing ...that?”

  “Well did you let him explain?”

  She looked at me like I offended her. “Explain? Like you let Elliott explain?”

  Ouch.

  My face must have registered just how much that question stung.

  “I’m sorry,” she quickly hugged me. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

  I did. Admittedly, I was the only spiteful one out of our family.

  “I know.”

  “It’s just that I’ve never been insecure when it came to Gerald and this has me questioning everything. I don’t like how it’s making me feel.” Her head dropped.

  I wish I could say I didn’t understand but I knew that awful emotion. Been wallowing in it for however many months now until my own revelation but unlike myself, Denise tried to be the best wife she could be even with her shortcomings, so I didn’t really have any answers for why Gerald was doing this.

  “If you’ve learned anything about what Elliott and I’ve been through, please just talk to him. You won’t know anything unless you hear it from his own mouth.”

  Denise sniffled a little, “I just need a moment right now. Being here with you for Elliott is more important Cass.”

  I gave her the tightest hug and before I could stop myself, “Cookie dough ice cream?” fell from my mouth.

  Denise broke away from me with her eyes full of excitement that quickly dissipated shortly after. “I know you wouldn’t want to leave. I’m glad you even had the thought though.”

  After my little field trip for coffee earlier, I realized I needed to take few breaks here and there. Elliott’s doctors told me that they were very content with his progression today and on top of that, I knew Denise would do it for me with no hesitation. I was really trying to work on this whole being a better me thing.

  “The store is like two blocks up from the hospital. I’ll be back in no time,” I stated already getting up. Plus, I think the ice cream would be a good start to figuring out this Victoria situation. Denise had no idea just how long our night was about to be.

  Cooper: Are you sure I should come up there?

  Denise had been in a heavy text convo with Cooper since she left her house. She knew that she promised Cass to stop talking to him but he was honestly the friend she needed right now; A male perspective minus the judgement. When she told Cass there was nothing more than friendship between them, she meant it and she knew Cooper did as well. She had gotten so caught up with filling him on the things that took place for the past two days, she was barely talking to Cass when she made it to the room. Cooper already wanted to drop a few food items off for her and Cass but with Cass unexpectedly leaving to go get ice cream, she didn’t want to leave Elliott unattended in case he woke up. It was the one thing she promised Cass she wouldn’t do. Cooper seemed completely against coming anywhere in the hospital and wanted her to come down to his car to get the food. Denise had to practically offer him one of her kidneys to bring it to her despite telling him what the situation was.

  Denise: Ur going to be up here for less than 5 minutes. Now bring me my burger before I get HANGRY!

  Cooper: Coming up the elevator now.

  Denise got up and stood just outside the room’s door to wait for Cooper's arrival. She smiled when she saw him approaching, holding the evidence of his thoughtfulness in his hands.

  “Now was it really that bad?” She teased as he handed over the brown paper bag.

  “Yes, it was actually,” he responded, trying to look less nervous than he felt.

  “I do appreciate it. Like a lot, if that helps,” Denise nodded and she knew Cass would too even if she thought Denise had it delivered by a food service.

  At the angle he was standing, Cooper could see directly into the room, more so the bed housing Denise’s brother-in-law. The sight of him stirring an emotion in the pit of his stomach.

  “You okay?” Denise asked noticing the look on Cooper’s face. She assumed it was Elliott’s current state that had him kind of shook. An understandable reaction. Her own wasn't too far off when she first saw him.

  “Yeah,” Cooper shook it off. “I’m good.” He brought his eyes back to Denise’s. “I’m gonna head out though. You’re good right?”

  Denise nodded, “Yeah, we’re gonna be fine. I told you the doctors already said-

  “Cass.”

  The sound of the distressed voice brought both Cooper and Denise’s attention into the room, towards Elliott.

  Denise dropped the bag of food on the small table near the doorway and ran over to Elliot’s side. “She’s here. Oh my God! We’re here Elliott.”

  Elliott blinked his eyes a few times, trying to register how he’d even gotten to the hospital. Throat dry, eyes heavy, he was grateful for Denise’s presence but was looking for his Cass. Even in whatever state he was in, it’s her voice he kept hearing over and over again like a favorite song.

  His eyes gravitated towards the room’s entrance and at the sight of the man standing there, he remembered. The attack. The bat. The struggle.

  “You.” Elliott stared at Cooper with alarmed eyes. “You did this.” His voice got a little louder this time. Denise thought that absurd accusation could be deduced to the pain medications Elliott was on but the look on Cooper’s face told a different story.

  “Cooper?” Denise asked out loud, looking to him for any explanation.

  Cooper contemplated for a few seconds but took off running down the hall towards the elevators. Denise, although shocked, took off right behind him.

  Chapter 20

  The doors of the elevators opened, and I stepped onto the blue and white floor of the Neurology ICU wing. I looked up from my phone and was bum-rushed to the ground, ass first.

  “What the fuc-!” I recovered from the initial shock trying to compose myself and the things that were originally in my hand. Recognizing the assailant, I was confused but more so pissed. “Lucas! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you even-”

  “Stop him!” Came from the main hall, temporarily stealing my attention. It only took me a second to figure out that he was the object of that reference. My eyes went back to his now alarmed ones.

  “Cass, I swear I’ll explain it to you later,” Lucas broke our brief stare battle and attempted to take back off in the original direction he was headed but instinctively, I clenched onto the ankle of his jeans, making him collapse again. I knew one kick from him would be damaging but at the sight of Denise rounding the corner, my grip tightened. I knew she wouldn’t hesitate to jump on top of him if I needed her to.

  “Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?!” I shouted for a rational explanation.

  “He hurt Elliott!” Denise confidently pointed an accusatory finger at Lucas.

  “What?” I shook my head already knowing that there was some sort of a huge misunderstan
ding occurring. “This is Lucas, DeeDee. Why would he hurt Elliott?”

  “Cass,” Lucas cut in, voice panicked.

  “Lucas?” Denise stared at me oddly. “No, That’s Cooper. The same Cooper you wanted me to stop talking to.”

  For a minute, me and DeeDee both exchanged brief puzzled looks.

  “I swear I can explain. To the both of you, I swear I can,” Lucas started rambling.

  The elevator doors opened, and two security guards stepped out, looking down at Lucas and me on the floor and then to Denise, who was now backed by two hospital staff.

  “We were called about a disturbance,” the huskier one spoke first.

  “Give me five minutes to explain,” Lucas pleaded to me and then up to Denise. “I’ll sit in front of Elliott and tell you all what happened.”

  “Elliott?” I looked to Denise for an answer. Why was he mentioning him?

  “He’s up Cass,” she confirmed. “That’s what kicked all of this off.”

  My heart swelled and everything happening in this moment seemed irrelevant. I just wanted to see my husband.

  “Ma’am,” the other guard cut in this time. They were both waiting for confirmation that they could haul Lucas off and out the hospital.

  I looked over at him and his pleading eyes.

  “He’s the main witness to my husband’s attack,” I spoke to the guards even though my eyes never left Lucas’ baby blues. “He needs to tell us what happened so we can tell the police, right?”

  Lucas licked his lips and gave into a nod.

  *****

  “I swear I tried to fight the guy off who attacked you,” Lucas paced in front of Elliott’s bed. “He struck you with the bat before I could make it to where you two were.” His eyes then bounced over to me. “I was the one who called you from Elliott’s phone.”

  My eyes widened upon hearing that.

  “What were you even doing there?” Elliott asked with a heavy rasp.

  “I’ve been following all of you for about six months now,” Lucas took a seat in the lone chair on the opposite side of the room from Elliott’s bed.

  My fingers were loosely interlocked with Elliott’s to prevent any discomfort with the IV connections and Denise was across from me offering him water from the straw of the hospital cup that came with his room.

  All three of us intently watching Lucas attempt to explain himself.

  “Why? Who the hell are you?” The bite in my tone matching the anger brewing inside of me. I felt betrayed and more so, slighted. I had already been deceived by my husband and now it was by a person I thought had pure intentions with helping me.

  Lucas’ clasped hands now bounced on his leg, “For proof.”

  “Of what?’ Denise spoke this time seeming to channel my energy.

  “My sister’s death,” his eyes focused in on me.

  Confused, I shook my head. “And what do I or my family have to do with your sister’s death? Who the hell is your sister?”

  Lucas’ head dropped. “Shanice.”

  “What?” All three of us responded almost simultaneously.

  It wasn’t possible. There was no way in hell Lucas could’ve been related to Shanice. Besides the obvious that he was white, Shanice would’ve mentioned something of this importance. His existence wouldn’t be coming up all these years later.

  “Shanice was adopted when I was eight,” Lucas spoke up like he was reading the lone thought on everyone’s mind. “My parents took her in after her mom died in a car accident. Our mothers were best friends and nobody in her biological family stepped up to take her in. Mom would’ve never allowed her to go to foster care so she told me and my brother that our family was being blessed with a new member.”

  “So why am I just meeting you?” I felt defensive. I knew Shanice wasn’t close to her family but to be hiding an adoptive one is something entirely different. The only picture I ever ran across of her so called “family” was that of her very mahogany-skinned mother. Shanice did tell me she died when she was a kid but I assumed that meant she was staying with extended family. Well, her blood family. “I don’t recall you or anybody else sending care packages or popping up at the dorms to check on her?” Even on the day Shanice and I met, both of my parents were fussing with each other as they helped me unpack my things, while Shanice amusingly looked on from her side of the room. I noticed the few clothes and toiletries she did put away but it never bothered me because I came equipped with an entire house of essentials for our room.

  Lucas looked uncomfortable, “Our family situation was...complicated. It was never an easy transition when she came to stay with us and then, it just kind of stayed like that. My parents didn’t understand her. I was at an age where I didn’t want to understand her and my brother was always off doing his own thing. ”

  “Didn’t understand her or her skin color?” I cut in, reading between the lines. “Little black girl was a blemish on your picture-perfect family, I’m certain.” I was surprised to feel Elliott squeeze my hand. I looked down at his face and although he didn’t verbally say it, he was telling me to calm down.

  “Why do you always think there has to be some sort of race war involved with everything?” Lucas leaned forward, brows creased. “That was my sister, period. Before she was your friend or your roommate. That was my family. Don’t ever get that confused.”

  “Ok. Ok. guys,” Denise suddenly spoke up in an attempt to diffuse. “What do you need proof of, Lucas?” His name seemed foreign coming from her mouth. “She killed herself. I’m sure a police report could have easily given you that.”

  “And I’ve read that report so many times that I could probably quote it verbatim but none of that explains her autopsy. Something isn’t right.” He countered speaking directly to the floor. “Something else had to have happened.”

  “You just said she had it rough growing up. Doesn’t that seem like the exact environment that would cause that?” I challenged. “Why are you so certain about an alternative?”

  Lucas pulled his wallet from his back pocket and produced a small white folded paper from one of the compartments of it. “Because of this.” He walked over and placed it at the foot of Elliott’s bed and retreated back to his seat. I stared at him, then it, before deciding to pick it up. I unfolded it carefully, quickly observing how worn the page was. The ink of the wording was faded in various parts, but it didn’t take me long to realize it was a page from Shanice’s autopsy report based on the header of it.

  Skimming the parts I could read, my eyes landed on the internal examination section.

  Ten to twelve weeks pregnant.

  I took a seat in the nearest chair with nausea now threatening me. “She was pregnant.” I said it out loud even though it was for my own comprehension.

  But how? How come I didn’t know?

  “I don’t know. But whatever caused her to do that to herself…,” Lucas’ voice cracked trying to compose his emotions. “…in the manner that she did, had to be painful enough.”

  Still stunned, I looked towards Denise, whose hand was covering her mouth. Even Elliott was just as mute.

  “But, I ‘m so confused. Who was the father? I would’ve known him, right?” I kept trying to recall associates or people I commonly saw Shanice talking to but no one was ringing a bell.

  Even though he looked like he was on the brink of crying only seconds ago, Lucas’ entire demeanor turned rigid and downright cold with that question.

  “I have an idea,” he stated looking up to me as if I already knew the answer.

  “Who?” I sat there completely lost until a sickening thought planted itself firmly in my chest. “Julian?” My head was already moving to refute that suggestion. “There’s no way.”

  Lucas cleared his throat. “While my proof is only substantial, all signs point to him Cass.”

  “You're lying!” A rush of anger made me stand up. “Shanice would’ve never done that to me and you’d know that if you knew her like you claimed to!” />
  “Baby,” Elliott attempted to calm me.

  “No, Elliott. He just popped up claiming to be a sibling of hers, now he’s offering stories about Shanice being some kind of hoe! We need the police!”

  Lucas jumped to his feet, “I never said she willingly had sex with him!”

  I could feel every ounce of air leave my lungs, “What?” I took a step back, “What...what does that mean?” Trying to process that statement had my heart racing.

  “Baby, can you just sit down for me please.” Elliott’s voice was strained.

  “Cass,” Denise chimed in behind him.

  My emotions were going through the stages of grief on a rapid repeat. “Are you telling me that he...that he,” the first tear hit my cheek as I struggled to say the word “rape”. That would make it real. Make me visualize it. Make me lose my mind trying to figure out when it could’ve happened.

  “I think I’m gonna be sick,” I rushed to the room’s bathroom, barely making it to that already flipped open toilet seat lid. Hurling up the little bit of food I did eat and balling my eyes out in addition to it.

  “Shhhh,” Denise was suddenly in my ear and patting my back. “Calm down.”

  “He’s lying, right DeeDee?’ I prayed she agreed that Lucas’ theory was outrageous. “It can’t be true right?”

  “I don’t know,” her patting stopped. “I don’t know.”

  Chapter 21

  “Mom never bothered checking the autopsy report. On top of the police evidence, the witness statements from the other girls in the dorm, including your own, were enough.” Lucas leaned back into his chair, clenching onto the tattered autopsy paper with both hands. “It was suicide even if we didn’t want to accept it.”

  My stomach had somewhat settled but the image of Shanice’s slumped body being held up by the scarf tied around her neck, was back to haunting me like it always had. It was the catalyst for my insomnia and my fear of ambulances.