Heirs of Avalon: The passage

by Béatrice Mary

  Melora stiffened, grabbed her sword and smacked Galahad’s blade with it, making it fall into the dirt.

  “It’s not all that heavy,” she said almost jeeringly.

  The giant man got up and stared at her with his warlike scowl. She swallowed hard and forced herself to raise her head and hold his glance. Gathering her courage, she said “Teach me!”

  Against all her expectations, he broke into a savage grin and beckoned her to follow him, saying, “So… Let’s get to it then!”

  From that day on, she trained for two hours every morning, submitting herself to the demanding knight’s rigor and invective as he began teaching her not only how to handle her sword, but how to fight in hand-to-hand combat.

  At the end of another week, Melora still hadn’t encountered Gabriel alone, and at table, he looked away when her eyes sought his. She understood his intention, but his attitude distressed and discouraged her. He was ignoring her, pure and simple, and she could not, would not, accept that! She wanted an explanation, so she decided to go on the offensive. She started by approaching the castle employees, who told her that he spent his days in the vineyard, taking part in the harvest. She decided to ride out and talk with him.

  She had her mare saddled, and took off from the stables at a gallop, hair flying in the wind. With her head and upper torso hunched over the bay’s neck, she encouraged the horse to accelerate. Finally, she reined it in, and continued at a walk, savoring the heat of the sun on her skin. It was a beautiful September day, and the weather was still quite warm. She tried to reflect as she rode along. Should she tell Gabriel that she had heard his conversation with Viviane?

  When she reached the vineyard, she saw Gabriel, and her heart accelerated. He was not wearing a shirt, and the impressive muscles of his naked back rippled as he strained to reach the clusters of grapes. His riding pants molded his powerful legs and hips to perfection. He must have felt her gaze or perhaps her presence, because he turned around. If he’d caught her stare, he didn’t let it show. He certainly did have a talent for catching her in awkward positions! She dismounted with as much dignity as she could muster, and approached him.

  “Melora? What are you doing here?” I asked her, surprised. I tried, however, to give the impression that her answer didn’t much matter to me.

  Seeing her hesitate at explaining herself, I simply turned my back on her and returned to picking grapes. I felt her outrage, of course, and her sudden wish to jump at my throat and shake me like an apple tree.

  “How dare you do such a thing?” she exclaimed.

  At those words, I spun around, and maintaining my indifferent air, I said, “Pardon me?”

  Melora evidently found that unbearable. Incapable of holding herself in check, she protested: “How long do you plan to keep avoiding me? Haven’t you finished playing Viviane’s obedient little lap dog?”

  Seeing my perplexed look, she admitted that she’d listened to our conversation. I stood there nailed to the spot, my mouth hanging open in surprise.

  She continued, swallowing hard to suppress a sob, “I don’t want to obey the codes of Avalon. I want to be happy, and that means being with you. I don’t care if you get old before I do! I want to be with you, Gabriel.”

  Her words brought me out of my stupor. “You say that now, but what will you say when I’m an old, wrinkled man and you’re still a breath-taking beauty? I can’t do that to you.”

  I slumped down sadly, and turning away, I murmured, “It’s over between the two of us.”

  Melora tried to repress her emotions, but a violent sob shook her, and tears flowed down her cheeks before she could stop them. It took all my willpower not to give in and fold her in my arms. Her pain was unbearable to me, but I had to stand firm; it was better that she face a minor chagrin right now than a major disappointment later on. Without another word, she mounted her horse and started back to the castle. I felt so despondent as I watched her go that I left the vineyard and retreated to my own room, like I’d been doing for several days. I no longer wanted to leave it.

  How could I assure her safety when the mere act of looking at her made me suffer? Imagining her with another man made me feel physically ill. I knew for a certainty that I’d end up by killing whoever she ended up with. No, I had to speak to Viviane and tell her I would leave Comper after helping her retake Avalon. Night had fallen by the time I’d made this decision, and I hadn’t the heart to even go down to dinner.

  Melora immediately noticed the empty place at the table, and she sighed with relief. She’d been crying all afternoon, and wasn’t sure if she would be able to prevent the tears from falling again if she saw him. If Viviane noticed her red eyes, she said nothing about it and made conversation as if everything was normal. After dinner, Melora felt so exhausted that she announced she was going to her room. She took a bath and relaxed, dreaming with her eyes shut, luxuriating in the hot, perfumed water.

  Gabriel loved her – she was certain of it. What better proof than distancing himself from her so she would not suffer? But he was wrong, and if she did nothing, her pain and suffering would destroy her.

  Arriving at this point in her reflections, she decided to free him from his honorable resolutions. He’d courageously obeyed his grandmother’s demands, but if she herself were to disobey Viviane, he couldn’t blame himself for it. Her decision reinvigorated her, and she resolved to give herself the longest, most indulging, most thorough beauty routine she knew of, to be perfect for what could not fail to happen now.

  To banish Melora from my thoughts, I had decided to concentrate on solving the enigma of the locked passage. It was hopeless – the image of her incredible gray eyes kept intruding. So when someone knocked on my door, my voice was sharp with irritation when I said to come in. I was sitting at my desk, wondering who could be looking for me at this late hour. I figured it must be the majordomo bringing me a dinner tray, having noticed my absence at dinner.

  When the door opened, I blinked several times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, held by a marvelous vision: Melora, her supple figure barely hidden by a diaphanous white silk nightgown. I swallowed painfully as I stood up. Our eyes met, and we stared at each other, caught in a whirlwind of emotions. She approached me resolutely.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked her, again trying to act indifferent.

  But she wasn’t fooled. My eyes betrayed my desire, showing I didn’t have as much control over myself as I was trying to make her believe.

  “I think you know exactly why I’m here.”

  My eyes remained fixed on her as she pulled on the drawstring of her gown and the thin fabric slid down to the floor. Her long brown hair fell in cascades over her shoulders and across the well-rounded contours of her breasts. Trembling, she waited, totally open to my gaze. My muscles instinctively tightened up at the view of her body, heavenly enough to damn all the saintly men in paradise. I was burning to explore those perfect curves, which cried out for caresses.

  When she came even closer and set her hand on my chest, offering her parted lips, I had to lower my eyes – we were so frightfully close to each other. She pressed her hips firmly against me. I swore between my teeth, but ended up by pulling her into my arms and covering her mouth with mine feverishly. Her body warmed under my touch; she desired me as much as I desired her. I held her tightly, until she pulled away to catch her breath.

  I kissed her neck softly, then left a shower of kisses on her shoulder, and lowering my head, I slid my lips down to where her chest began to round out. She groaned and shivered, gripping my hair. Then I swept her up in my arms and delicately laid her on my bed. My hands lightly stroked her firm breasts and torso, and when my fingers approached her hips, she held her breath. Staring into my eyes, intoxicated with my caresses, she abandoned herself with complete trust when I became one with her. She stiffened up slightly when I took her virginity, but very quickly, she became filled with new sensations. I had never known a woman to be more innocently sensual. I felt her
surrendering herself, body and soul, and I followed her, to the very heights of voluptuousness.

  When I got my senses back, I heard her say, in a soft, contented voice, “My love, my dragon…”

  At that instant, I became aware of what we’d done, and I shivered.

  The next day, I met Viviane in the breakfast room, feeling like I was walking on air. Melora had not left my room until dawn, to avoid meeting with any servants, so I wasn’t surprised to learn she wasn’t yet up.

  “Good morning, Gabriel. Did you sleep well?” she asked, then examining me, she commented that I looked tired.

  Controlling the idiotic grin that wanted to break out on my face, I replied innocently, “I was studying the spell book late into the night, and I think I’ve found something.”

  Viviane was immediately intrigued, and full of new hope, she asked me, “When do you count on putting your discoveries into practice?”

  “We can try today if you agree to it.”

  “If I agree? I’ve been waiting for this moment for hundreds of years! We need to inform the queen. If the passage opens, Morgana will know about it, so we have to make our preparations right away.”

  Then, suddenly grave, she demanded, “I hope that you’ve accepted your fate, and that you’re ready to follow my guidance…”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I’ve understood what’s important to me.”

  “Good,” Viviane said, well-satisfied. “I always knew you were reasonable.”

  I almost choked on my croissant, and gulped down a glass of orange juice to hide my uneasiness.

  We’d all decided to meet at the edge of the lake at the end of the day. Broceliande Forest must have known it was a special day, as all its magical creatures and animals had gathered around us out of curiosity.

  A deer and her fawn prudently approached, the chickadees were singing joyously, and even a peacock couple joined in, the male proudly parading and displaying his beautiful tail-feathers. Farther off, a troop of rabbits were rather unsuccessfully hiding behind some bushes, showing their big ears now and then. True to their nature, the sprites were annoying our horses, tied up under a huge oak whose branches teemed with the tiny creatures.

  Lucila was also there, looking about as old as Viviane today. The two of them were discussing matters in low voices while Eirian and Deryn scampered around Melora. She was smiling, and seemed to be enjoying the antics of the two elves.

  I hadn’t seen her all day, having been busy preparing for our passage into Avalon, and when our eyes met, all the passion of that night rose up to the surface. She blushed. I didn’t want Viviane or the others to notice anything, so I forced myself to ignore her silent appeal, and turned my eyes away. She got the message, and remained at a distance, but her gray eyes sparkled with mischief. Contriving to look perfectly normal and calm, I joined Galahad and the other knights, deep in conversation.

  The setting sun cast bronze reflections onto the lake, making it look like it was filled with gold coins. It was almost time.

  The smell of old leather wafted up when I opened the spell book. I immersed myself in the text for a few minutes to refresh my memory of the spell I had to cast. I had discovered it after countless searches, through an enigma which, translated from Old French, meant, “When you find the words, you will have the key, and the door will open.” It was also written that the queen had to be present at the moment of reopening the passage. The previous night, I thought I had figured it out by determining that two spells formed the solution.

  As was his habit, Merlin had taken every precaution to protect the spell from discovery by the wrong person, and had counted on the fact that I could resolve the enigma. That confidence in me was a heavy weight to bear at times; nevertheless, I had enormous respect and admiration for my grandfather. He’d foreseen everything that would happen over the course of hundreds of years, and for that I considered him the greatest and most powerful magician of all time.

  The hour had come. I felt tense and agitated as I walked up to the edge of the lake with Viviane and Melora. The castle, lit up by the full moon and the last rays of the sun, rose proudly in the distance, and its reflection glittered like a string of diamonds on the darkened waters just before us, recalling the beauty of the hidden castle of Avalon.

  I took a deep breath and pronounced the first part of the incantation: “Avalon dangos eich hun!”

  Nothing happened. A dead silence had fallen all around us. I shot a worried glance at my grandmother before I continued with the second formula: “Drws agor eich hun!”

  Still nothing.

  “I don’t understand,” I protested to Viviane. “I’m sure that’s the right formula! What did I miss?”

  I repeated the spell, this time with anger in my voice.

  Viviane stood as still as a marble statue until, with what seemed difficulty, she slowly turned to me and said, “It’s not your fault, Gabriel. Myrddin’s projects and intentions have always been difficult to figure out, even for me, and I was the person who was closest to him.”

  A flash of pain darkened her eyes. “I don’t want you to feel guilty, and this is not a failure. Something must have escaped you, that’s all. Don’t give up – keep searching.”

  She remained there a moment staring at the wide stretch of water, melancholy in her face, before turning around and announcing to the whole group, “Let’s go back.”

  All our enthusiasm and euphoria evaporated, even among the forest creatures, who disappeared in an absolute silence that left us feeling adrift.

  Galahad came up and patted me on the shoulder to comfort me. I watched Viviane and Melora walking just ahead of us, and a feeling of powerlessness, frustration and even nausea filled me. I had failed. I was not worthy of Merlin’s powers. But even more painful than that thought was the fact that I had disappointed Melora.

  That evening, nobody came down to dinner. We had all retreated to our own quarters, trying to forget our misfortune. I threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling, going over the mysterious enigma again and again: “When you find the words, you will have the key and the door will open.”

  What had I missed?

  When you find the words, you will have the key and the door will open.

  I was convinced that the ‘key’ was the formula. Right then, someone knocked at my door, interrupting the flow of my thoughts. I hesitated to say, “Come in,” because I knew very well who was behind the door: Melora. Sure enough, she opened it and slipped quietly into my room. She looked at me for a while before coming over to my bed, where she lay down next to me, in the same position I was in, and like me, she stared at the ceiling, hands joined on her stomach, breathing slowly and calmly.

  I finally muttered, “You shouldn’t have come.”

  “I wasn’t going to let you spend the night reproaching yourself for…what, I don’t know.”

  “Because of me, you couldn’t get your kingdom back.”

  “It’s not because of you, but because of Mordred. And then, I’ve never set foot in Avalon, so a week or a month or even a year more isn’t going to make a big difference.”

  “That’s true – you’re only fifteen hundred years old, so you’ve got plenty of time,” I retorted.

  She didn’t respond, and I immediately felt remorseful. I took her in my arms, and she nestled her head softly against my chest.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I whispered.

  “I’m afraid I’m in a bad mood tonight, and won’t be very good company for you.”

  We remained there without moving, then Melora broke the silence: “Haven’t you ever wanted anything so badly that it hurts way deep down inside?”

  I frowned, surprised by this odd question and afraid she would explain that what she longed for was the passage to Avalon. I didn’t answer or even move until she whispered, “I know my people need me, that I have to take my throne back, and that I’m obliged to marry an Avalonian to bear an he
ir to the kingdom, but that’s not what I want.”

  My heart sank in apprehension as a tear rolled down her face.

  “What I want is to stay with you, here or anywhere – it doesn’t matter. I need you so much that it’s tearing me apart. And you should know that I wasn’t disappointed when the passage didn’t open – on the contrary, I was happy.”

  She was crying now, but she managed to continue, “Every day that passes on this side is both a joy and a torture for me, because I know it’s only a matter of delaying the inevitable. I know I have to accept that once we’ve gone over to the other side, we’ll be separated, but that’s unbearable.”

  I caressed her arm tenderly, understanding her despair but unable to console her. I didn’t want her to go to that island either.

  I finally found the courage to respond, in a voice husky with emotion, “I care for you, Melora, with all my heart, but my duty is to bring you back to Avalon. I promised that to Viviane and to Merlin.”

  Melora eyes were now streaming with tears, but I tried to get her to listen to reason: “I’m going to age faster than you, whether we’re here or in Avalon. I heard Viviane tell Gliton that you were going to have to take off your pendant soon.”

  She shook her head furiously. Incapable of finding the right words in English, she reverted to French to tell me there was no question of taking off the necklace.

  “As long as I’m here, in your world, I’ll keep it on.”

  I laced her fingers with mine with such force that she reacted by pushing herself up onto one elbow and looking at me intensely. Her eyes still glistened with tears as she planted a kiss on my forehead, on the tip of my nose, then on my lips. That slight touch was enough to arouse a strange sensation in me, between fear and exaltation. My only one desire at that instant was to take her into my arms and make love as if it were our last time.

  Comper’s inhabitants returned to their normal obligations the next day. All the knights had remained at the castle, and they organized a watch rotation, even though we were no longer worried about an attack now that Alwena was dead.