Midnight Eternal

by NJ Cole

  I went to the playroom to think about it. It was the place I was most at peace. Kneeling there in the waiting position for a while, I realized what I had to do. I stood and walked to the table in the center of the room.

  It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I knew taking the pill would be harder. With a deep breath, I wrote the word, removed the chain from around my neck, and set it on my journal with the pill. It was a coward’s way out. I should have gone to him and told him, had him officially remove my collar, but I wasn’t sure I’d have the courage to go through with it if I had to look him in the eye.

  After exiting the playroom, I left the penthouse, not really sure where I was going. I was tired and I just wanted to lie down and sleep, but I also knew that it was the baby making me that way. It needed nourishment. I could have lied to Oliver, told him I’d taken the pill and gotten what I needed from him, but that just wasn’t me.

  I needed assistance, and there was really only one place to go. It was a long shot that they would help me, but I had no other choice.

  I drove the route we’d taken a few times. Unsure I was going the right way, I nearly turned back a few times, but then I would see a familiar landmark. I was so tired and I wanted to pull over to rest, but I knew that if I did, I’d never wake up. Finally, after what felt like hours but was closer to forty-five minutes, I pulled up in front of the house. It was now or never. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if they turned me away.

  With exhaustion overtaking me, I stumbled up the front steps. Leaning against the doorframe, I took a deep breath and ran my thumb over the diamond bracelet on my wrist before ringing the bell. I hadn’t even pressed the button when the front door flew open and I came face to face with Gabriel, who appeared to be running out of the house. He was on the phone and looked to be in a panic. “She’s here,” he said into the receiver. I could hear Oliver on the other end, telling him he would be right there. I didn’t want him to come.

  “Please, no,” I whispered to Gabriel, and he must have seen the look of desperation in my eyes because he nodded.

  “Oliver, that isn’t a good idea. She’s here and we won’t let anything happen to her.”

  “Why is she there?” I heard Oliver ask in an agitated tone. It broke my heart that he was so worried, though the adrenaline of hearing his voice gave me a bit more strength.

  “I’m not sure. Perhaps she wants to talk to a fellow submissive or little girl.” That answer seemed to satisfy Oliver, though it wasn’t the reason I was there. I’d come because when I’d first met them, they said that I was part of the family and could come to them if I ever needed anything. There was only one thing I needed now, and other than Oliver, they were the only ones who had it. The question was, would they give it to me?

  Gabriel had hung up the phone, promising to call Oliver back in a few minutes to tell him how I was doing. I wondered how long they’d been on the phone and what Gabriel knew. I supposed it was better if he knew it all. I wouldn’t have to tell him.

  “Come in,” he said, then looking at me, changed his mind. “On the other hand, let’s go sit in the sun. You look really tired.” He walked me around back where Caroline was pacing on the patio. She looked shocked to see me.

  “Bec, I’m so glad you’re alright. I was worried about you.” Apparently Oliver had told everyone I’d left. She hugged me. I held her a little longer, wondering if it would be the last time we hugged. When we finally broke our embrace, she took my hand and led me over to some patio furniture. I sat down and she sat next to me, not letting go of my hand.

  Caroline looked at Gabriel, who looked at me, waiting for me to speak.

  I took a big breath. “I’m sorry to put you in a bad position, but I need help.”

  “What sort of help?” Caroline asked, her voice full of concern.

  “I’m sure you know about my…uh…situation.” I touched my stomach to emphasize my meaning.

  Gabriel and Caroline exchanged glances. “Yes, I was there when Jeremy contacted Oliver,” he said.

  “And I suppose you know that Oliver wants me to end the pregnancy.”

  Gabriel reached forward, placing his hand on top of mine and Caroline’s. “It isn’t that he wants you to end the pregnancy, it’s just that he wants you safe, and he knows there is no way for the fetus to survive. He just doesn’t want to lose you.”

  “How do you know that there is no way for our baby to survive?”

  “Because Jeremy and Hannah’s fetus didn’t make it, and Hannah nearly died herself. It’s hard enough for a healthy Bocaj woman to carry a baby.”

  “But Oliver told me that Hannah didn’t keep feeding. What if I did?” I knew I was arguing, but I was fighting for my child’s life.

  Gabriel paused for a moment as if he was considering it. Perhaps he was just weighing his words. Instead of answering my question, he responded with one of his own. “How often are you feeding now?”

  “Every six hours, but I might be able to cut that down if I spent more time in the sun.”

  He nodded as if he were agreeing. “That’s probably true, but I’m not sure Oliver would have enough in him to sustain you for the near year you would need, or for the increased demand the baby would need.”

  I was glad that they were listening to me and even more so that Gabriel brought up the reason I’d come. “I know, that’s why I’m here. I need your help.” I looked at the floor. “I need your semen to keep my baby alive.” If I wouldn’t have been in the situation, I would have surely laughed at the phrase that just came out of my mouth.

  Finally finding the courage, I looked up to see the two of them looking at me. “Please?” Gabriel opened his mouth, then closed it again.

  “It isn’t that I don’t want to help you, but there is a code with Doms. We don’t touch each others’ submissives.”

  “I’m not collared,” I said, pointing at my neck. Neither seemed surprised, so I had to assume that Oliver had told them about that, as well.

  “You might not be collared, but you are Oliver’s mate. He’s our son,” Gabriel explained.

  “And this is your grandchild,” I said, clearly hitting a nerve with both of them. They looked at each other, then back to me. “Please, can we try? If it doesn’t work, then, well, at least I’ll know I’ve tried.”

  “Even if I agreed, I would have the same problem as Oliver. I don’t think I could provide what you need.” His words stung, but Caroline chimed in.

  “Maybe not alone, but what if we worked together as a family?”

  I looked up in surprise at Caroline’s suggestion. I was excited that there might be hope, but the adrenaline from earlier had worn off and exhaustion washed over me. When I felt myself sway, Caroline gripped my hand tighter. “Do something, Gabriel!” she cried out urgently.

  “I’ll put her in the tanning bed. That should help some…temporarily. Make a few calls, Caroline.”

  Gabriel put his hand around my waist and helped me up and into the house. In a small room off the kitchen, there was a tanning bed. He helped me remove my clothes until I was in my bra and panties, and then laid me on the bed. The rays felt wonderful and I did feel better, but I just couldn’t stay awake any longer.

  I don’t know how long I was asleep but I woke to voices.

  “I won’t do it without her permission. I don’t care if she’s uncollared or not.” I recognized it as Payton’s voice and felt the lid of the tanning bed lifted off of me. She knelt down next to me and stroked my hair. “Bec? Can you wake up?” I blinked my eyes open, though my lids felt like they weighed ten pounds each. “I want to feed you, is that alright?”

  “Mmmhmmm,” I responded groggily. “Thank you.”

  I felt strong arms lift me from the tanning bed and the rest was confusing, as I no longer had the strength to keep my eyes open. I felt liquid on my lips, though, and it was the kind my body was craving. It seemed to be coming from some sort of soft fruit maybe. The more I sucked on it, the more I got. I started feeling bett
er after just a few swallows, and I was able to focus on the conversation going on around me.

  “Well I can’t do this all day every day—I won’t make enough—but I can do it a few times a day,” Payton said, and I realized from proximity that she was holding me on her lap. It dawned on me then that I was nursing from her breast. I should have been mortified and stopped. Almost as if she could sense my thought, Payton leaned down and whispered, “Shhhh, it’s alright, you both need this.”

  “The rest of us could donate,” Caleb said, continuing on with the conversation around me while letting me know he was there, too.

  “And how would she get it into her system?” Sydney asked from somewhere across the room right after Shane had also volunteered.

  “If all else fails, we could give it to her and she could consume it orally, but I think intravenously would be most effective and least personal.”

  “You know Oliver is going to have a fit, right?” Sydney pointed out. “He won’t care how we are doing it. We’re giving his mate our come.”

  “We are helping a member of our family…two members of our family.”

  I took one more long drink and then pulled off of Payton’s breast. She covered herself, then leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Did you get enough?” I nodded. “Good girl.”

  There wasn’t much more conversation once I was up and moving around. Caroline made me some breakfast, and I used the tanning bed again afterward.

  When my time in there was up I felt refreshed, but I knew that the nourishment Payton had given me was wearing off.

  Caroline and Caleb were waiting for me in the hall. “Bec, we’ve prepared a room for you. Gabriel suggested that we get you what you need using intravenous fluid,” he explained. “I’m going to put a line in your arm if that’s alright. I had training from the first world war.”

  I nodded and followed him. The room didn’t look like a hospital as I’d expected. The only thing out of the ordinary was an IV stand next to the beautiful wrought iron bed.

  Caleb put in the line and taped it to my arm. “We’re going to keep you on a five hour schedule, but if you feel that you need it more often, please tell us. We are all playing this by ear.”

  “Has anyone told Oliver that I’m staying here?” I couldn’t help but ask. I knew I was putting them in an awkward position.

  “Yes,” Caroline explained. “He insisted on coming over again, but Gabriel said that if you wanted him here, you would invite him. Until then, he would need to stay away.”

  I didn’t know what to say, but in the end I didn’t need to say anything because at that moment, Gabriel walked in with an IV bag in his hands. He hung it on the hook. “Alright, this has, uh, what you need.”

  My eyes went wide looking at the quart-sized bag of fluid. I swore he blushed when he realized what I was thinking. “Uh, it’s mixed with saline solution…”

  It was my turn to feel silly at thinking it had all been semen. Caroline hooked the bag to the IV and it took about thirty seconds for me to start feeling the effects. The come was much stronger than Payton’s fluid.

  I must have looked better, because they were all smiling at me before even half the bag was infused. An hour later it was empty and I was sitting in the living room talking to the whole family, with the exception of Shane and Sydney. When they joined us later, Shane held up a small container. “Uh, where do we put these?” he asked.

  “Put it on the dresser in her room,” Gabriel answered.

  I blushed when I realized what it was, but I was grateful for his help and wanted him to know it. “Thank you, Shane,” I said with a smile.

  “No problem. It was kinda fun, although I was telling Sydney when she was helping me that it would be a lot more fun if all three of us did it together.”

  Sydney put her hands on her hips. “And I told him that no matter what was going on right now, you were still Oliver’s mate, and that if he went anywhere near you with his dick, Oliver would probably tear it from his body and beat him to death with it.”

  “You don’t have to be that dramatic!” Shane laughed.

  “No, I’m gonna have to go with Sydney on this one,” Payton chimed in. “Oliver would go insane. He’s not even going to like what we’re doing as it is.”

  “Well that really isn’t his business anymore, is it?” I interrupted, a bit surprised at the contempt in my voice. “I’m sorry,” I said, my tone lowering. “I’m just so grateful for all of your help, I don’t want you to be worried about Oliver. He’s not my Master anymore. I’m uncollared. And I don’t even think I’m his mate.” I touched the place where his mark used to be on my chest. It had been over twelve hours since we’d been together physically, and I was sure it was fading if not gone altogether. I glanced down only to see that it was still there, as dark and prominent as ever. “How is it still here?”

  No one answered; they all just looked at it. Finally, Caroline spoke. “Perhaps it wasn’t what Oliver gave you physically that made the mark appear. Maybe it’s the love you share. The fact that you have the physical characteristics of a Bocaj allows it to be visible. His physical gift might be out of your system, but the love remains. His child, your child, remains. I suppose what you need to think about is, do you still love him and do you still feel like his mate?”

  I was glad she told me to think about it and not to answer aloud, though I really didn’t have to put any thought into it. I knew I still loved him and that I was his mate. I would never love another person as much as I loved him, with the possible exception being the tiny life that was growing inside of me.

  After that, our conversation was light again. I really enjoyed talking to the family even though I missed Oliver every moment. I wanted to call him, but I knew his wishes and I just couldn’t give in. Seeing how happy this family was, I wanted that for myself and my child. I had to admit part of me held out hope that if I made it through the pregnancy, Oliver and I might be able to patch things up. It was doubtful, though. I’d called mum and boldly defied him as a Master.

  Although I didn’t feel tired, Gabriel suggested that I try to get some sleep while the next IV ran into my system. I smiled when I entered my bedroom and saw four specimen containers on my dresser. Apparently Caleb and Shane had left me enough for tonight and tomorrow.

  Gabriel was right; I did need the sleep. It started my routine of sleeping while the IV was being infused, and usually for an hour or so after. I’d then wake and spend time talking with him or Caroline, or another member of the family who had stopped by.

  I nursed from Payton a few more times and got to know both Caleb and Sydney a lot better during their visits. One afternoon, I woke to find little girl sitting next to my bed. I thought she was going to sit there quietly, but she surprised me by speaking. “Are you going through with the genetic transformation?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Right now I’m focusing on the baby.”

  She nodded. “I used to be human,” she said, telling me what I already knew.

  “How…” I stopped myself. Oliver had said I’d be the first voluntary person he knew, so I didn’t want to ask any inappropriate questions.

  “It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I was in the forest with my sister. There were six of them. Men.” She got quiet for a while and I realized what she was saying. “It went on for a long time. I had a lot of come in me when one of them bit me to get me to stop screaming. I watched them kill my sister. I thought they were going to kill me.” She took a deep breath. “Mommy saved me.”

  I understood her devotion to Payton on a whole new level. “I’m so sorry.” It was all I could think to say.

  “The actual transformation didn’t really hurt. That’s why I’m telling you. Don’t be afraid. My Mommy won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

  “Thank you,” I said genuinely.

  She smiled softly, then without another word, got up and left the room.

  It was odd how her words seemed to reassure me the most
. I didn’t know if I’d ever actually go through the change now that Oliver and I weren’t together, but it was at least nice to know that if I did, it wouldn’t be that bad.

  In between visitors, I’d lie in the sun or use the tanning bed. If I didn’t miss Oliver so much, it wouldn’t have been bad. I’d gone to call or text him a million times, but I didn’t even have my phone. It was a blessing really. It kept me from being weak.

  The only change in the routine was when everyone showed up one morning and I realized it was Sunday brunch. I looked around in a panic. Half of me was afraid that Oliver was there, and the other half was hoping he was.

  “He’s not coming, Sweetheart. We told him when you arrived here to stay away unless you invited him.” Caroline’s words were soft and comforting, but still didn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. “We can invite him. Do you want to see him?”

  “I don’t know what I want,” I answered honestly.

  She didn’t respond. Instead, she just took my hand and led me out back to her garden, where we sat in silence just looking at her flowers while she let me cry. I was lucky to have her. I hoped I’d be as good of a mother as she was.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Master

  I thought the first hour was the worst—the time when I didn’t know where she was. The time I was worried she was lying in an alley somewhere, dying. I’ll admit finding out that she was safe at my parents’ house was better, but hearing that she didn’t want me there seemed worse than not knowing where she was. I am a man who is always in charge, and for the first time in my life, I was not in control of a situation that had the greatest impact of any I had experienced so far.

  Bec’s leaving made me question everything. Was I not a good Dominant? Was it that I didn’t make her feel safe? She wrote the word mum and left the collar, leaving the lifestyle. For a moment, I even doubted myself enough to wonder if there was another man that she wanted to serve. I quickly dismissed the thought and hated that my mind had even gone there.