Burn For Him

by Kristan Belle

  She hated to speak about him. He had been the bane of her life. But, despite all that he had done to her, she loved her father and would defend him to the death, even if he was in the wrong.

  He didn’t treat her right, but he was still her father. In her eyes, that was the excuse for him to be able to treat her like a piece of dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Sure, there were a lot of underlying reasons to his bad temper and treatment of her, but he had always been that way, it was just getting worse as the years were going on. Age definitely wasn’t agreeing with him. I hated to think what she went through caring for him day after day, listening to his inane ranting. Sometimes I thought that her happiest times were back when she was in foster care and away from that poor excuse of a man.

  I hated it. I hated everything about it. I knew only too well why she got herself into this kind of state. When she went out, she really let herself go in an attempt to forget everything.

  Destiny’s home environment had always been tense when she was growing up. There was always an atmosphere of unease at her house. It wasn’t until four years ago that she found out that her father had been having several affairs behind her mother’s back when she was younger. Her mother had died of cancer when she was only four years old and her father had found it difficult to cope with a young child. That was how she had ended up in some of the same foster families as me and how we had met.

  She also found out that he had not only been sleeping around but that he had also been beating the ever living crap out of her mother, even after she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was no wonder that it had royally screwed her up when Destiny had found out about it. When she had it out with him, her father had blown up and told her that it shouldn’t matter, that it was in the past and that she was too young to remember her mother anyway. He didn’t think that she should hold the past against him, but it wasn’t that easy for her.

  The memories of a four year old shouldn’t be clear, but they were for Dee. And what she couldn’t remember, her Aunt had filled her in. Apparently, her mother had died in the hospital after the last time her father had put her in there. There had been a huge argument when she had told him that she was leaving him. For some reason, the police didn’t get involved, but I wished to God they had. If Dee had been away from her pathetic excuse of a father, she may not be so screwed up now.

  Destiny was still struggling with the truth of the misery of her mother’s existence. She simply couldn’t get her head around the fact that her mother had stayed in such a destructive relationship and that she had probably stayed for Destiny’s sake. In this day and age, it wasn’t something you had to put up with. There were people out there to help and ways and means to get you out of that kind of situation. But back then, it hadn’t been so easy.

  Then, when her father had finally felt up to taking care of his own daughter, when Dee was eight years old, a week after she had moved back in with him, her father was involved in a horrific car accident. It seemed like one bad thing after another was a constant cycle in Dee’s life. She’d had a really hard time of it over the years, one thing after another going wrong.

  There had been a lot of nurses coming into her home over the years and then finally, when he deemed her old enough, her father cut back on the amount of carers and told Dee that she had to care for him. It was a guilt trip. He made it seem like he had done her a big deal taking her out of the care system and back into the family home, and that she owed him for that. It hadn’t been easy for a young girl to deal with. She had only been seventeen at the time when he dropped that little bombshell on her.

  It was why she lived for these weekends now. Her days at work and her nights out were her only means of release. Harper couldn’t understand for the life of him why she stayed and put herself through all of the verbal abuse that her father dished out to her. But I knew Dee in a way that he didn’t. She remembered promising her mother to be a good girl for her father and that was what she was doing. Her mother had stayed with him out of love and Destiny stayed with him out of misplaced loyalty and duty.

  “Come on.” I said to the pair of them, hoping to diffuse some of the anger and tension that was radiating off of them. This arguing wasn’t going to help matters. They were both wound up and they needed to calm down.

  “I’m going home.” Destiny said. She had a hell of a stubborn streak in her that even I couldn’t always bend. But I had to try. Reasoning with her when she was drunk wasn’t going to be easy, but I would rather argue with her now than see her crying tomorrow after the cruel things that her father would be sure to say to her if he caught sight of what she was wearing.

  “Destiny…” I started to say but she just turned and started to walk away. “Wait up” But she didn’t even pause.

  “Forget it, Carrie. She won’t listen to reason.” Harper said with a glare in her direction. She was stumbling and I knew that she wouldn’t get too far without help.

  “I’ve got to try. You know the sort of things that he’ll call her if he catches her looking like that.” I had never been a big fan of her father, especially after we’d found out what he’d done to her mother. It just confirmed everything I thought about him. Even the accident hadn’t mellowed him out. If anything, it made him even more bitter and hateful. “Destiny!”

  She went over on the heel of her ridiculously high heels as she tried to speed up her steps to get away from me. She fell to her knees, using her hands to save her face from smashing into the concrete.

  “Shit.” She muttered.

  “Are you alright?” I asked as I crouched down beside her.

  “Do I look alright to you?” she snapped as she held up her mud and gravel covered palms.

  “Come on. Let’s go back to our place and get you cleaned up.” I said in a voice that I hoped was winning and soothing, but not too condescending.

  “I don’t need your help.” She grumbled as she struggled to get to her feet, falling back down to the floor. “I think I’ve busted my ankle.”

  Harper laughed and I could have smacked him myself. Laughing at her wasn’t going to help matters right now. “Are you sure you don’t need any help? Are you planning on staying down there all night?”

  Destiny pouted. She looked up at him with soft, dopey eyes. I smiled. That was about as close to an apology as he was going to get and he knew it.

  “If I do my back in, you are going to have to wait on me hand and foot, you know that, right?” he mumbled under his breath as he bent down to scoop her up off the ground. There didn’t seem to be any fear of Harper putting his back out. He carried her easily, like she was feather light.

  It was still a long walk home, but at least it was a quiet walk now that Dee had passed out in Harper’s arms.

  Chapter Two

  The sky had dried up considerably and we walked the rest of the way home in silence. It didn’t actually seem to take too long for us to get there. I was just thankful that my heels weren’t half as high as Dee’s were. If they had been, Harper would have been carrying the pair of us.

  As we approached our apartment building, I ran ahead to enter the code to get us in the main doors. Standing to one side, I let Harper pass with Dee snoring softly in his arms. He rolled his eyes at me and I pressed the button to call the elevator. We waited in silence, only the snores of the drunken state in his arms pierced the night.

  Entering the apartment, Harper took Dee straight into his bedroom and placed her on his bed. He joined me in the kitchen less than thirty seconds after me.

  “Is she okay?” I asked him as I helped myself to a glass of milk.

  The kitchen was spotless, with every surface gleaming. Harper could be a bit of a neat freak when he wanted and had put himself in charge of all cleaning duties in the apartment when we first moved in together. I can’t tell you how happy that made me. I hated cleaning and tidying, but I also hated living in a mess. Sure, the place could have been called ‘minimalistic’ but that was because we both hated clutter and it g
ave him less to clean.

  “Yeah. She’s still fast asleep. I don’t think we’ll hear from her until tomorrow afternoon. I’ll take the sofa tonight.” Harper replied as he got himself a cup of coffee. The smell filled up the kitchen and I turned up my nose. I couldn’t stand the stuff. I hated the smell of it and couldn’t stomach the taste of it. Yuk.

  “I guess I should go and wake her up enough to get her undressed.” I put the empty glass in the sink and made to walk out of the kitchen.

  “No, just leave her. She’ll be fine.”

  “I can’t just leave her. Can you imagine how uncomfortable she’ll be? And now much all that leather is going to rub? Ouch!” I shuddered at the thought.

  “It might teach her to not get into that sort of state again.”

  I turned to look at him. It wasn’t like him to be so mean. “That’s a bit harsh. What’s up with you?”

  Harper slammed down his cup, spotting the clean counter with random drops of coffee. “I just hate it when she does that. What’s the point in it? What does she get out of it?”

  “You know what she’s like.”

  “I hate the effect that it ends up having on you and how much you worry about her. It’s not fair on you. She doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. As long as she has a good time, everyone else can go to hell for all she cares.”

  I’d never heard him speak like that about her before. Harper was the kind of guy that always looked on the bright side of any given situation, making the best of things and doing everything he could to make sure that everyone else is happy. It was just a damn shame that Destiny had done this tonight and brought his mood down so low. I hated to see him down. It just wasn’t the Harper that I knew and loved.

  “Harper…” I wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to say to him. I wasn’t worried about me at all. I was worried about Dee. She had so much on her plate that when she had the chance to let go, she didn’t know when to stop.

  “No. Don’t even think about defending her.”

  “I wasn’t going to actually.” We both knew that was a lie. Harper raised his eyebrows at me and grinned. It was like he had suddenly flipped a switch and was back to being my Harper again.

  “Sure, whatever. We both know that you are dying to go in there and make her more comfortable.” He laughed. “Why don’t we chill out and watch a film before we go to bed?” he looked over at me and smiled winningly. “I’ll even crack out the popcorn.”

  I couldn’t resist when he looked at me like that. “I’ll go and get changed. You pick out a film.”

  I walked out and left Harper to bang about the kitchen. I knew that no matter how much he seemed to change his attitude, he wasn’t going to forgive Dee easily over this one. I knew that he hoped all the banging and crashing would disturb her sleep. But, I also knew that we wouldn’t hear from her at least until midday tomorrow. When she really went to town like she had tonight, she would be in a complete comatose state that even the uncomfortable chaffing of leather couldn’t disturb.

  I made my way down the short hall and into my own room. Harper’s door was opposite mine, the door was open a crack and showing the immaculately neat interior. The only thing that looked out of place was Dee sprawled ungainly in the centre of the bed.

  I kicked open the door to my room and walked in. To anyone else, especially Harper, it looked like a complete shit tip in there. To me, it was organised chaos. It wasn’t so much that it was dirty or messy, more like I had too much stuff and not enough places to put them.

  My room wasn’t particularly girly. It was more functional. I had everything I needed in there and plenty more besides. A huge bed, several bookcases that dominated one entire wall, a walk-in wardrobe that was filled to the rafters and an entertainment unit that filled up an entire corner. It wasn’t a space that reflected my personality. Sure, it showed the things I loved most in life, like books, but it was kind of impersonal.

  If I was completely honest, it was my humungous collection of books that took up most of the space in there. I was still pretty old school like that. Harper had bought me a Kindle for my last birthday and although I did use it on occasion, nothing could compare to the thrill of a new book. There was no way I’d ever give up my book collection. I would have rather give up my bed and sleep on the floor first.

  I grabbed my pyjamas from the end of the bed and padded into the bathroom. I know that it’s crazy, but I always delayed taking off my shoes when I got in from a night out. Most people kick them off the second they step in the door, but not me. It was a moment that I loved to savour. As any other woman knows, kicking off a pair of high heels at the end of the night, the relief you feel is one of the most orgasmic feelings in the entire world.

  I turned on the shower and braced my hands on the sink in the bathroom as I ruthlessly flung my shoes through the open doorway into my bedroom. I groaned in total blissful pleasure as my bare feet sunk into the rich soothing carpet.

  I washed up as quickly as I could. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the film until I had checked to make sure that Dee was okay. I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my still dripping body. I knew that it was really lazy, but I couldn’t be bothered to dry myself off. I was just too tired. How I was going to last through an entire film, I didn’t know. You know that feeling you get at the end of the night when you’re too exhausted to move and all you want to do is curl up in your bed? Yeah, that was how I was feeling.

  I trudged my way over to Harper’s room and saw that, sure enough, he hadn’t even bothered to remove her spikey heeled boots. At the moment, watching her drool onto Harper’s pillow and snoring like an old man, I had to admit that I was inclined to agree with him. She could sleep in the restricting leather and hopefully it might teach her a lesson and make her think twice about going out on another bender. But, the boots had to come off. I couldn’t do that to her.

  I went back into my own room and slipped on my pyjamas, wedging my feet into my fluffy bunny slippers. Harper had been my best friend forever and I never had to put any airs or graces on for him. He didn’t give a damn if I didn’t have on any make-up or if my hair was a damp mess piled on my head. Damn lucky, seeing as we lived together and no woman can look perfect twenty four seven.

  Walking into the lounge, I had to admit that I wasn’t always quite as unaffected by Harper as he seemed to be by me. Seeing him standing there in the centre of the room, wearing only a pair of shorts, my pulse raced for a moment. Sure, I’d had a reminder earlier with regards to how much he trained and worked out, but seeing all of that uncovered flesh with ripped muscles on display in front of me, I would have had to have been a nun or a lesbian not to feel something stirring. He was a fine specimen of masculinity and I had to admit that, if it had been anyone else, I would have been jumping his bones. It wasn’t. It was Harper. He was my best friend. He was like a brother to me. I couldn’t think of him in that way. I still remembered the snotty nosed kid that he’d been. I didn’t often let myself drink in his raw beauty, but when he was strutting around half naked like that, it was kind of hard not to notice and appreciate.

  “Wine?” he asked as he put an overflowing bowl of popcorn down on the frosted glass coffee table. It was the only available surface in the room, if you didn’t count the television unit or the music entertainment stand. Usually, if we decided to chill out with a DVD, we’d just sprawl on the floor and make a mess on the lush carpet.

  “Just a Pepsi for me, please.”

  “Coming right up.”

  I curled my legs under me and got comfy on the floor. Harper came back in, placing the cans of pop on the table and he grabbed a fleece blanket from behind us. The night had turned a little chilly and getting wet on the way home didn’t really help. I sat back and got ready to be scared shitless. I knew what Harper’s choice of films were like. He was a horror freak.

  And I wasn’t disappointed. I’d be having nightmares for a week, thanks to him and that freaky clown!


  Chapter Three

  I woke up on the sofa with a crick in my neck and my cheek resting on Harper’s bare, smooth chest.

  We had done this many times before, but after those random sexual thoughts that I’d had about him last night, I could feel the blush rising over my cheeks. It was ridiculous!

  Moving slowly so that I didn’t wake him up, I rose up off the sofa and laid the blanket over his still sleeping form. I went into the kitchen as quietly as I could. Glancing around, I could hear that Dee was still snoring like a fog horn in Harper’s bedroom so it looked like breakfast for one.

  I grabbed a quick drink of water and headed into my bedroom, quickly getting dressed in jeans and a sloppy sweat-shirt. I tied my hair up in a messy ponytail, not having the patience to do anything with it this morning. It was Sunday, not a day to try and make an effort. I had no plans for today, anyway. The most that I would be doing was vegging out in front of the television with a bowl of mint choc chip ice cream and having a DVD marathon. I could already hear Edward Cullen calling to me, so Harper was going to have to sit through a Twiathon if he didn’t have plans to go out.

  “Morning, Sunshine.” Harper called out as he passed by the closed door to my bedroom. I grinned to myself. It was good to hear him back to his cheery old self. I wasn’t particularly a morning person and sometimes it took me quite a while to wake myself up into the land of the living, but he never seemed to have that kind of problem.

  Grabbing my phone off the bedside table, I walked out to find him in the kitchen, making himself a coffee.

  “Did I wake you up?” I asked him as I grabbed a chocolate bar from the fridge.

  “Nope.” He replied with his easy smile. “Is that seriously all you’re having?” He nodded to the chocolate.

  That was one of the problems with living with a health conscious fitness freak – he was always watching what I ate even if I didn’t. “This? No. This is just the warm up for all the junk I’ll be eating later.”