Provider's Son

by Lee Stringer

“Youre not going to haul the gut out?” Levi said.

  “Why would I do that?” William said.

  “So you can get at everything else.”

  “Watch and learn,” William said.

  “Im no stranger to cleaning moose.”

  “You look like a stranger to me,” William said, grinning, “but you can still help.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “See what Im doing? Do the same thing on the other side. I want to get this meat off and in the cold as quick as I can. Theres another knife in the shed, over the stove. The axe and the saw is behind the stove.”

  There was already a large set of antlers over the shed door, but these antlers were even bigger. One wall of the shed was filled four layers deep with sawed-off wood. On another wall were many tools of a carpenter’s trade, some of them power tools, and some of them simple hand tools. A handsaw, in particular, looked as old as William. The woodstove looked new, however, as if it had been installed only weeks before. It contained a glass window, and decorative, iron legs that seemed out of place in that simple shed. By the circle of unworn wood beneath the stove Levi assumed it had recently replaced an old oil-drum stove like his father had once owned. Over the stove was a small shelf with a skinning knife sheathed in a leather holder that had “Father’s Day, 1999” engraved on the side. It had a dark wooden handle with a visibly tempered blade edge and a steel finger-hole at the end. Levi felt the wood, and stared into the dark grain. It was cherry. It had to be. On the base of the blade it said, Robert Bear Knives. It was obvious the knife was not mass-produced in any Chinese factory. A hand-crafted object felt different in ones hands. The soul of the artisan, with all his love and hate, still whispered in the quiet curves and edges.

  “Why isnt he using this?” Levi said to the musty silence. When he went back out William was already working on the foreleg.

  “Snooping around?” William said.

  “What? No by. I was just sizing up your knife. Some knife too. Where did you get it?”

  “Bill gave it to me. You want to start cutting off the quarters? That knife is a lot sharper than this one.”

  “Well why dont you use it?”

  “Im used to this one. Had it a long time.”

  Levi shrugged and looked at Jon. He was a little squeamish, but not as freaked out as Levi had hoped. There was after all, no slicing of the stomach from the anus to the rib cage, with the intestines bubbling out, filled with feces, and soaked in blood. No, there was only the furless body of the moose, covered in white, fatty tissue. William had to stop occasionally because of his arthritis, and Jon was concerned, but the old man pressed on, determined to finish the job.

  The knife Bill gave his father cut through the skin so easily that Levi had to watch that it didn’t cut a hole in the fur or slip through the body and penetrate the stomach. He wasn’t used to keeping the pelt of a moose, but he liked the idea. As clumsy as he was compared to William there was something that seemed more natural about cleaning this way.

  Levi remembered his first moose. He had been nineteen and already well versed in killing small game, but to see an animal five times the size of himself hit the ground was an adrenaline rush unmatched before or since. But pulling the trigger is the easy part. When he began helping his father cut the animal open and remove the organs he was still so excited that he barely registered the brutality of it. That was until his father told him to saw the ends of the legs off. His father grabbed a foreleg and held it up. Levi put the saw to it, and froze.

  “Whats wrong?” his father said.

  “I cant...”

  “We just hauled the gut out of him, but you cant saw a leg off?” his father said, laughing.

  Levi put the saw up again, but he still couldn’t do it. The moose was dead, but it didn’t look or feel or smell like it. It was so warm in fact heat emanated from the cavity like an oven, condensation wafting from the split sternum up into the cool fall air.

  His father yanked the saw out of Levi’s hands and began sawing off the legs as if they were nothing but birch. It was then, when the animal lay there, his head still attached, but no longer able to walk, that Levi understood the consequences of his actions. Organs are hidden. It is the body which gives an animal meaning. The antlers are the bull’s crown, but his legs are the carriage of his grace. So they were destroying this animal, humiliating it, even in death. His chest swelled up with pity for the moose and for himself, but he pushed it back down.

  Fortunately that feeling didn’t last anyway. When that first eighty pound quarter was strapped to his back he felt nothing but pride. And a mile later, exhaustion.

  After the moose was quartered and put in bags, William asked his grandson, “Wheres your father?”

  “Working. We brought Johanna Bear here last night. She had a little boy.”

  William was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Johanna Bear. Roberts daughter? I thought she ran away?”

  “She did. We brought her back.”

  “Good. And she had a boy?”

  “She did.”

  “He saved her life,” Levi said, nodding to Jon, and only just fully realizing it himself.

  “Her mother died,” William said.

  “She asked Levi to bring her here. After she pissed in his face one night.”

  William laughed, and looked at Levi. “Why did you do it?”

  “Because she asked me.”

  “I asked you to help me clean this moose, but I didnt have to piss in your face.”

  “Hes still waiting for it,” Jon said, and they all laughed.

  “We should take a roast off one of those quarters and stick it in the oven,” William said. “While its still fresh.”

  Levi was going to mention how an old bull like this usually didn’t taste good, but he didn’t want to spoil the triumph the old man felt in knocking down probably his last moose, or at least one this huge.

  To get a few things they needed for supper, Jon and Levi drove to Martha’s Convenience. Looking about the reserve Levi couldn’t really relate it to the small town he grew up in. For one thing, none of the houses were perched at the side of cliffs or hills. It reminded him more of the parks in central Newfoundland, or the town of Terra Nova.

  “Hey there stranger,” the middle-aged lady said when they entered the tiny store.

  “How are you?” Jon asked, as he went to look for a bag of onions.

  “Same old thing around here,” she said, taking a sideways glance at Levi, and then ignoring him. “I saw you on TV. Great job. Made you look even more handsome than you are. You turn after your father.”

  “If you say so,” Jon shouted from the back corner of the store.

  “Onions,” the lady said, as Jon thumped them on the counter. “When did you get in town?”

  “Yesterday,” Jon said.

  “Come yourself?” she said, as she slowly checked him in.

  “Nope.”

  Jon laughed when he got back in the SUV with Levi. “She tried her best.”

  “Think everybody knows already?”

  “For sure.”

  “I got to ask. What do people think here of your father? Seeing as he wouldnt come here.”

  “I dont think a lot of them really give a shit. I mean they give a shit whats happening, but they dont blame it all on him. Half the people here work at the tar sands anyway. What else can they do?”

  “Well, why wouldnt he come here last night?”

  “He hasnt been here in years. And to be honest Im partly to blame. Ive kind of given him the impression that everybody here hates him.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told him everybody here hates him.”

  “Why would you do that by?”

  “Working in the field is one thing, but being in his position... he can influence decisions on things, and he does nothing.”

  “Hes not the CEO.”

  “No, but he knows the CEO, Jordan Hosh. The last time he was here he
was at a town hall meeting that was requested with Erbacor. Dad set next to Hosh who fed everyone nothing but bullshit for nearly two hours. Dad didnt say a word. And what made it even worse was that I could tell he was embarrassed.”

  “Was he hard on you growing up?”

  “How could he be hard on me when he was never around?”

  “Well there you go. You cant be shittin on your old man for all his faults. Hes just a man, by. Long as he put food on the table and a roof over your head. I made me fair share of mistakes too as a father. Im only starting to realize how many here lately.”

  “You and Sinead got a lot better relationship than me and Dad.”

  “Thats only because shes a girl. Believe me, she and her mother had their ups and downs. They still do.”

  When they got back to William’s house the moose roast was in the pan, but the heat wasn’t turned on yet. William peeled the onions and Levi chopped them up.

  “What are you going to do with the rack?” Levi said.

  “I dont know. Theres a piece missing anyway. Another bull probably did that.”

  “Its only a small piece cracked off. Youre not going to replace the one over the shed?”

  “The one over the shed was my first. Over seventy years ago. Do you want this one?”

  “Me? No, I wouldnt take it. You should keep it. Stick it up somewhere. I wouldnt be able to take it back on the plane anyway.”

  Jon asked his grandfather how long the roast would take, and he estimated about two hours.

  “I should show you around,” Jon said.

  The first place they went was to a long wharf overlooking Pimatan Lake. They got out and walked along the shoreline.

  Levi skipped a few rocks.

  “No matter how big a lake is it never looks like the salt water,” Levi said. “I got no more interest in lakes than the bottom of me boot.”

  “It means a lot to us,” Jon said.

  “No no, dont take it the wrong way. I mean, I likes trouting, but the fresh water just dont give you the same feeling. Theres shit all in it sure. A few trout, a few bass, or pike or whatever you haves in lakes around here. The salt water is full of everything from whales to lobsters to stuff they havent even found yet. And most of all lakes dont have that smell. Nothing beats the salt water by.”

  “This lake is two hundred miles long and in places, four hundred feet deep. I imagine theres mysteries in the bottom of it too.”

  “Could be. Any good places to fish on it?”

  “Lots of good places.”

  “Your grandfather got either boat?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When do the season open?”

  “We dont have to go by seasons. Wer Injuns. We got it made.”

  “I keeps forgetting about that. You should take me out sometime. I havent been on a big lake before.”

  “You just said you had more interest in the bottom of your boot!”

  “Well, compared to the salt water, yes, but I still likes the outdoors no matter where it is. Not like you city boys.”

  “Im no city boy,” Jon said. “I didnt figure you the type to be into catch and release anyway.”

  “Catch and release! I dare say. I eats what I catches.”

  “Well you know you cant eat them here.”

  “Why not?”

  Jon stared at him. “I told you. Mercury. The fish in this lake are now basically poison.”

  “Jesus...” Levi shook his head and stared out at the islands in the distance. A two hundred mile lake, and not allowed to eat from it. All of its bounty, filled with poison.

  “We thought we had it bad in Newfoundland that wer not allowed to catch a fish to eat, except a few days a year. You can catch all you want but theyre not fit to eat.”

  “They dont have to worry about the fish. The cancer is getting them anyway.”

  “Im sorry,” Levi said.

  There was a long silence before Jon spoke. “In what way?”

  “What?”

  “You said youre sorry. In what way?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you mean you feel general sympathy, or do you mean you feel a certain amount of personal guilt?”

  “Im sorry that you cant eat from this lake anymore. Take from that what you wants.”

  In the middle of the town, on a hill, was a small church. On the top of the bell tower was a cross. Levi could see it from where he was standing.

  “Do you go to church when youre here?” Levi said. A sardonic gaze was Jon’s reply.

  “Do anyone go?” Levi said.

  “Yeah. Quite a few actually. Grandfather usually goes every Sunday.”

  “What church is it?”

  “Anglican.”

  There was a light breeze and the waves of the poison lake pushed endlessly against the shore.

  “We should build another chair.”

  “Yeah, Ive been thinking about the theme for our next piece.”

  “No, no themes. No politics. Just a nice chair for Johanna and the baby.”

  “But yet you dont want to visit her.”

  “We should do something nice.”

  “Some pretty flowers?” Jon said sarcastically.

  “There you go.”

  The next place that interested Levi was the Fur Trade Museum. Jon had not pointed it out, but Levi spotted it as they drove past. It was closed, however, and according to Jon, only opened in the summer months. A Tourist Attraction. It was a restored trading post, a long, one storey building with a wooden boardwalk under extended eaves. There was not a single decorative element to the design of it. Levi wondered if the original had been this utterly practical.

  “I dont know why they would want that place to be restored,” Jon said. “It was the beginning of the end for us. I guess it gives someone a summer job.”

  “So that was really the first fur trade place in Alberta?”

  “In the west, period. Thats a restoration of a later building. The original was a lot smaller. It was in that exact spot though.”

  “Yes by. I wish it was open.” Levi got out and walked up to the building. Jon sat in the SUV for a moment, and then followed him. Levi cupped his hands against one of the windows and peered in. He could see a few barrels on the floor and furs strung up on the wall. Everything else was hidden in shadows and behind the reflection of the town in the glass.

  Jon lit a cigarette. “This place depresses me. Even more than the churches.”

  On the way back Jon got Levi to take a different route, where they passed the nursing station.

  “Levi, we have to go in.”

  Levi sighed. “I know.”

  Johanna’s father, Robert Bear, met them in the hallway of the nursing station. He hugged Jon. “Johanna explained everything. Thank-you, man. Thank you. I have her back. And a beautiful little boy. She wants to see both of you. Shes been asking about you all day.”

  Some of Johanna’s relatives were in the room, sitting around her bedside. Levi wished he had not thrown away the vodka.

  “Hey,” Johanna said. She looked as if she had been running for three days.

  “How is you?” Levi said.

  “Im good. I guess you already met David. But meet him again.” She pointed towards the crib on the other side of the bed.

  Levi and Jon went around.

  “Levi,” Johanna said, “could you give him to me?”

  “No. I cant. Im too nervous.”

  “Ill do it,” Johanna’s father said.

  “No. Levi can. Put him on my chest, Levi.”

  There was silence in the room.

  Levi picked up the boy and was about to hand him quickly to Johanna, but the dark eyes caught his attention, and he found himself gazing into them. Was the child looking back at him? He didn’t know if babies could actually look at anything at all. Sinead had been so beautiful to him when she was born, though almost all other newborns were ugly. Yet this baby was not. He held him for a moment longer, and then carefully placed h
im on his mother’s chest.

  She smiled down at her son. “Our little miracle.”

  Levi found himself getting overwhelmed after he put the baby down, and as everyone fussed over the baby, he slipped out of the room. As he made his escape from the station he called his wife and told her the whole story about Johanna Bear and him, and everything that had happened the night before.

  “You did a good thing,” Anita said. “More than I would have done.”

  “Do you think Im a good man?”

  “In general. Yes.”

  “In general.”

  “Are you still in Provider now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When is your next turn-around?”

  “Why?”

  “I might be home.”

  “Where you going to stay?”

  “I dont know. Moms probably.”

  “You can still stay at the house.”

  “Levi.”

  “What. Im just saying. We should at least get together and talk.”

  “Maybe. I dont know what I could say that I havent already though.”

  “I know what I could say that I havent. And no matter what you say I dont think its too late.”

  She was silent, and this gave Levi more hope than he had felt in a long time.

  On the way back to William’s Levi switched on the radio, curious as to what channels, if any, they would pick up in Provider. They picked up more than he expected, including CBC Radio, where a reporter was stating that there had been high levels of mercury found in the moose around the town of Provider, south of the Erbacor Energy project.

  Jon sighed. “Motherfuckers. Theres just no end. Until its the end of us.”

  Levi looked at him and back at the road again.

  William had the table lined out with the dark roast as the centerpiece. Steam rose from it in curling waves and the aroma permeated the small home, making Levi’s mouth water. The smell bought him back ten years into his own kitchen, with Anita checking the meat in the oven, and Sinead curled up on the couch reading a book.

  Surrounding the roast were onions, roasted light brown. Gravy bubbled softly on the stove, and next to it a pan held oven-baked potatoes, browned and crispy. A pot of steamed wild rice waited with the lid tilted to one side. On the table were three plates with a fork, spoon, knife, and glass. William had a jug in his hands and the ice clinked off the sides as he filled each glass with water. A grin was on his face he could not hide.