The Nudger Dilemmas

by John Lutz

  Darkness there, too.

  So what are the options here? Nudger asked himself. He could go up and knock on Claudia's door, but if she and Archway were up to something, she'd hardly answer.

  Or he could sneak upstairs and let himself in with his key, surprise them, and catch them doing . . . whatever they might be doing.

  But he really didn't want that. He couldn't bear it if he happened to be right. And Claudia would never forgive him.

  Still, he'd know where he stood, however painful the knowledge might be. He thought again of Adler, how the poor guy must have felt learning about Doris Vandervort, his brief but true love. What might passion turn into in a situation like that?

  Go home, Nudger told himself. Go home and grow up. He spun on his heel and was about to walk back to the Granada when he noticed the faint glow from the rear of the brick building. Up on the second floor.

  He felt his skin actually crawl. Not very far, but it crawled. The rage in his acidic stomach rose in his throat.

  The light had to be burning in Claudia's bedroom! And sometimes she liked leaving the lamp on when—

  He swallowed bile and crossed the street, striding angrily toward the building. Then, as he stepped up on the curb, he slowed down.

  He'd gained enough control of his anger to be devious.

  Opening the street door slowly and carefully so it couldn't possibly be heard upstairs, he slipped into the vestibule. Then he took the stairs to the second floor with equal caution, keeping his feet spread wide and placing them near the wall and the banister so the wooden steps wouldn't creak.

  He paused outside Claudia's apartment door. Pressed his ear to the cool enameled surface. Heard nothing.

  Standing up straight, he hesitated. Should he do this? His stomach told him he had no choice.

  Slowly he slipped his key into the lock, turned it, then took a deep breath.

  He threw open the door and leaped inside.

  Only an instant was required for him to take in the scene: Claudia and Archway seated side by side on the sofa in the dim living room, their necks craned so they could stare at Nudger over their shoulders. Even in the dimness the surprise in their eyes was plainly visible. Some sort of machine was set up on a card table, a projector. And there was one of those home movie screens that lowered like a shade over a tripod. On the glowing screen was a young girl wearing only shorts and a flimsy gray tee shirt, running across a grassy field, her youthful bosom jiggling with each colt-like stride, her blonde hair flying. What was the deal here? Archway and Claudia watching pornography! Suddenly another young girl appeared on the screen, large but muscular, with a malicious expression on her pug-nosed face. She smashed into the first girl, knocking her to the ground, then dashed out of camera range.

  Archway, who'd turned back toward the screen, said, "That's definitely not allowed."

  Claudia, still staring at Nudger, gave him the same kind of look the old guy in the Cardinals cap had aimed at him, as if the lawn flamingos were being threatened.

  In a voice so calm it scared him, she said, "What's this all about, Nudger?"

  "He thought he'd drop by and surprise us," Archway said, sounding amused. The creep had figured it out by the expression on Nudger's face. "You bring a bottle of wine, Nudger? Maybe a bouquet?"

  Claudia, standing up now, fully dressed in slacks and a sleeveless blouse, said, "I'm going to substitute for Biff and coach the soccer team for a week while he goes on vacation. He was showing me film so I could understand the game."

  Archway had switched on the lamp by the couch and was grinning. Handsome bastard, always at ease, his hair slicked back with some kind of grease you could fry an egg with. He wasn't starting to go bald on top like Nudger. "You think we were watching porno movies, Nudger? What a sick mind."

  Nudger realized his mouth was hanging open. His rage had turned to humiliation. His stomach hurt.

  "You've made a fool of yourself again," Claudia said.

  "Maybe he doesn't believe your explanation," Archway said, trying to make trouble. "Maybe he knows something was going on between us."

  "Knows?" Nudger said.

  Archway, standing next to Claudia now, slid his arm around her waist and said, "Poor choice of words, I guess."

  Anger glowed in Claudia's dark eyes. "Do you believe me, Nudger?"

  "Of course I do."

  "Then get out."

  "Wait a minute . . ." Nudger said. He wanted to arrange it so he could leave with a smidgen of dignity. They should allow him that much.

  But Archway saw his opening. He took two steps toward Nudger. "The lady said leave, chum."

  "Chum?" Nudger said. "We're not chums."

  "Don't be a problem, Nudger, please." Claudia, pleading now.

  "He's on his way out," Archway said. "Put this jerk in the past, Claudia."

  "He's not a jerk." Now she felt she had to defend him.

  Anger and embarrassment pushed reason out of Nudger's mind. He planted his feet wide and crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving," he told Archway. "You are."

  "Nudger!" Claudia said.

  "I'm not leaving you alone with this creep," he told her.

  "I was fine until you arrived," she said. She clenched her fists and slapped them against her thighs. "You are a jerk!"

  "So long, chum," Archway said, and advanced on Nudger in a crouch. Archway knew karate, or something like it; Nudger had learned that the hard way some time ago.

  "You're the one leaving," he said, circling Archway.

  Archway spun his body around and tried to kick Nudger in the chest. Did it, too. Nudger said, "Oooomph!" and went sprawling.

  He scrambled to his feet immediately. "I said you were leaving," he told Archway, as if he'd been the one who'd landed the blow.

  He stepped in and swung hard at Archway's grinning face.

  Missed clean and felt something slam into his forehead. Must have been Archway's fist, he figured, from where he sat on the carpet.

  Archway was smiling down at him. "Time to say night-night, Nudger."

  Nudger struggled to his feet. Said, "Night-night," and swung at Archway again. Saw a galaxy of stars and discovered he was lying on his back on the carpet. His jaw ached.

  "Had enough," Archway asked, "or do you want a nightcap?"

  Nudger heard himself groan. He rolled onto his stomach, raised himself to a low crouch, and ran at Archway.

  It felt great when his shoulder crashed into Archway's midsection. Both men fell to the floor. Then Archway was on top of Nudger, landing punches to his head and shoulders. Nudger threw him off, tried to stand up and jump on him, but was tripped so that he crashed into the projector. It fell near him and stopped whirring. He thrashed around, tangled in its cord, and stood up just in time to be knocked back down by Archway, who at least wasn't smiling now. Nudger had mussed his hair.

  "Both of you knock this stuff off!" Claudia was shouting. She was facing Archway, inches from his face. "Leave him alone, Biff. Go home, please!"

  "Me?" Archway looked astounded. "You were telling him to go a minute ago. He's the one who sneaked in here like a terrorist commando. He's the one—"

  "The one without sense enough to leave," Claudia interrupted.

  "But I don't see why I should go."

  "Because I asked you to," Claudia said. "Isn't that reason enough?"

  "It's not reason enough for Nudger."

  "You're not like Nudger. Thank God."

  Archway stood for a minute or so with his chest heaving, trying to sort things out while he flexed his muscles. Putting on a show for Claudia, Nudger thought.

  Finally he said, "I'll see you at school, Claudia."

  "I'll bring the screen and projector," she told him.

  Archway snatched up his plaid sport coat from where it was folded on a chair. "If any of that expensive visual equipment's broken, he's gonna pay for it!" he said, pointing at Nudger.

  "My pleasure," Nudger said, rubbing it in.

  Archway didn't say
goodbye to either of them as he stormed out. Nudger heard him bluster down the stairs, then charge through the street door and let it swing wildly behind him until its pneumatic closer calmed it and eased it shut.

  Nudger slumped on the sofa. Claudia had her fists on her hips and was staring down at him with anger, and with some other emotion.

  She said, "You would have let him kill you before you'd leave us here alone together, wouldn't you, Nudger."

  It wasn't posed as a question, but Nudger said, "Yes." And maybe he would have, he realized. It had been headed in that direction.

  "Why?" Claudia asked.

  "I don't know," Nudger said. It was something he'd have to think about.

  "I know why," Claudia said. She sat down next to him and kissed him on the cheek, surprising him.

  She kept surprising him.

  A year passed before Nudger learned from Gideon Schiller, an attorney in Clayton he sometimes did work for, what had happened with Jake Adler after that night at the doughnut shop.

  Adler had paid Doris Vandervort's bail, become her lover, then married her and left the law to own and operate a charter fishing boat down in Key West.

  Nudger didn't know how to feel about that. It bothered him and he wasn't sure why. Finally he drove to Key West on vacation and accepted Adler's invitation to go deep-sea fishing.

  It was a nice boat, about a thirty-footer. Doris was the crew. She didn't know who Nudger was and neither Nudger nor her husband told her. Nudger watched them together. The two of them seemed happy enough, he decided. In fact, very happy. Whatever romantic whimsy they had forged into reality here in the sun must agree with them.

  Adler had put on weight and looked fit in his cutoff shorts and unbuttoned blue work shirt. And there was a new contentment in his once wary and calculating eyes as he familiarized Nudger with the heavy tackle for ocean fishing. Doris smiled a lot and bustled around the bobbing deck, now and then ducking below to ice drinks and work up the lunch that went with the cruise.

  Nudger had never been deep-sea fishing, yet somehow an hour from shore he felt pressure on his line and reeled in an odd-looking brown fish about a foot long that flopped around listlessly on the deck. As if it didn't much care one way or the other about being caught.

  He stared at it with distaste. "What is it?"

  The tanned and content Adler smiled. "I have no idea. There are all kinds of unusual things in the sea. That's what makes it so interesting." He turned slightly so Doris couldn't see him and winked.

  Doris popped the tab on a cold can of beer and handed it to Nudger. She grinned down at the fish, then at Nudger. "Gonna keep it? Have it mounted to hang over your fireplace?"

  Nudger gave her back the grin. "Sure. Why not? I'll ask the taxidermist to make it look like it's leaping."

  He didn't have a fireplace, but he didn't see where that made any difference.

  So much of life was in the mind.

  Additional Copyright Information

  "Ride the Lightning" Copyright © 1984 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January, 1985.

  "What You Don't Know Can Hurt You" Copyright © 1982 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, November, 1982.

  "Only One Way to Land" Copyright © 1983 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, October, 1983.

  "Time Exposure" Copyright © 1982 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, June, 1982.

  "Typographical Error" Copyright © 1984 by John Lutz. First appeared in The Eyes Have It, ed. Robert J. Randisi, Mysterious Press, 1984.

  "Where Is Harry Beal?" Copyright © 1979 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, August, 1979.

  "Flotsam and Jetsam" Copyright © 1987 by John Lutz. First appeared in New Black Mask #8 Harcourt Brace Jovanovitch, 1987.

  "The Thunder of Guilt" Copyright © 1986 by John Lutz. First appeared in Mean Streets, ed. Robert J. Randisi, Mysterious Press, 1986.

  "The Right to Sing the Blues" Copyright © 1983 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, May, 1983.

  "Before You Leap" Copyright © 1992 by John Lutz. First appeared in Deadly Allies, ed. Robert J. Randisi, Doubleday, 1992.

  "The Litigants" Copyright © 2000 by John Lutz. First appeared in The Shamus Game, ed. Robert J. Randisi, Signet, 2000.

  "The Man in the Morgue" Copyright © 1978 by Davis Publications, Inc. First appeared in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, February, 1978.

  "The Romantics" Copyright © 1994 by John Lutz. First appeared in Deadly Allies II, ed. Robert J. Randisi and Susan Dunlap, Doubleday, 1994.