by M. N. Forgy
She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and grabs wipes to clean my face.
“This is going to hurt,” she warns, her blue eyes promising me it’s going to hurt like a bitch. I close my eyes and nod.
Ten minutes later, I can’t feel the right side of my face, and I have little beady black stitches snaking in and out of my eyebrow.
“I won’t tell Lip you were here, but something tells me he’s going to notice,” Doc states, a smile on her face.
“Probably,” I mutter, pushing myself off the hospital bed. “I’m going to tell him, I just… I need to find the right words, ya know?” I look up at her and find her sympathetic eyes gleaming at me.
“I get it. Sooner is better than later, though.” I sigh, knowing six years ago would have been a better time. “They can come out in two weeks,” she instructs. “Keep them clean and dry.”
“Got it,” I reply.
I take the discharge papers from the front desk and head out to my car. Digging in my pocket to text Lip to find out if he’s coming home tonight, I notice I forgot my phone in the hospital room.
“Damn it.” I turn on my heel and head back to the hospital when a large explosion sounds behind me. Unbearable pressure and heat throw me forward like a stick. The palms of my hands eat the asphalt and the skin on my knees tear. I cough and look up, finding my little red bug in a cloud of black smoke, red and orange flames licking in and out of it.
A bunch of nurses and doctors come rushing out of the hospital doors.
“Cherry!” Doc screams, running to my side.
“I’m okay,” I croak.
Doc looks at my car and then to me, her expression taking on one of worry.
“I don’t know what you’re not wanting to tell Lip exactly, but I’m thinking you better tell him now.” I pull my gaze from her back to my car.
“The club will protect you, Cherry; you just have to be strong enough to ask for help.”
LIP
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Pulling it out, I notice it’s Cherry.
“Yeah?” I answer.
“Lip?” My body goes cold with the sound of her voice. I don’t recognize it. It sounds scared—terrified, even.
“Cherry, are you okay?”
“I need you to come get me. I’m at the hospital.” The line goes dead.
“Cherry?!” I yell into the phone, but she’s hung up. My body turns cold, as if someone just poured fucking ice over me.
“You all right, man?” Shadow asks, lifting a brow.
“Something’s not right. Cherry is at the hospital. I gotta go,” I say, already standing.
“The hospital? Is Doc okay?” Bobby questions.
“I don’t know anything except Cherry is at the hospital and something is wrong,” I reply.
“Let’s go!” Bull hollers, striding out of the club doors.
Pulling up to the hospital, there is a fire truck sitting in the parking lot next to three cop cars. My hands clench, and my pulse quickens.
As soon as I park my bike, I find Cherry leaning against the building, a cop with a notebook standing in front of her.
“Cherry!” I yell, running to her. She pushes herself off the wall and rushes to me.
She slams her body into me and my arms wrap around her like a shield, protecting her from whatever might have her scared.
“I think we got what we need here,” the cop states, walking away.
I tuck Cherry’s head under my chin and notice Bobby soothing Doc near the hospital doors.
I glance over toward her car; you can’t even recognize it anymore.
I pull back and take her chin in my hand, lifting her face to look at me.
“What happened, Cherry?” Really looking at her, I notice the stitches in her face. Did she get them from the car?
“I loved that fucking car,” she grits, anger pouring with each word.
“What happened to your face?” I interrogate. She pushes her palms against my chest and looks over her shoulder at Doc. I lift a brow in suspicion and look at Doc, who gives her a curt nod. Cherry nods back, like some secret code shit girls do. Cherry squares her shoulders and lifts her head.
“I need the club’s protection.”
***
“You all right, darling?” Bull questions from the head of the table. Cherry shrugs. I’ve never seen her so defeated before; it’s like she’s a whole other person. The boys notice it, too—I can tell by the look of concern written on their faces.
“You mean besides someone trying to kill me and blowing up my fucking car?” Cherry shakes her head in anger, but her tone is laced with sorrow.
“Why don’t you just tell us from the beginning what’s going on exactly,” I instruct.
Cherry sits up in her chair and rubs her arms.
“I got this ex, and he’s after me,” she mutters. “Actually, he’s not even an ex, since a one-night stand doesn’t make someone an ex.” She half-laughs. The hairs on my arm stand and I shoot Bull a look, his eyes meeting mine knowingly.
“What do you mean? I need more than that,” Bull pushes, his soft tone gone.
“I mean, I’ve been hanging around the trailer park I shouldn’t be around. I know you guys said there were rivals there, that I needed to stay away, but I just,” she closes her eyes and clenches her jaw, “I just couldn’t.”
“What the fuck, Cherry!” Bull roars. She shoots him a look, her expression of sadness replaced once again with anger.
“I couldn’t. You don’t understand.” Cherry pushes the words out through gritted teeth, tears filling her eyes.
“Why don’t you clarify it for us then?” I state, getting tired of these back-and-forth games.
Cherry shoots her beautiful gray eyes to me. They hold a sadness, like a person telling someone they love goodbye. As if they were going away to war and you may never see them again.
“My little girl lives in that trailer park,” she mutters, tears falling from her eyes. I wouldn’t have even heard her if I wasn’t watching her lips. I stand from my chair, my heart pounding dangerously.
“What the fuck do you mean your little girl?” I seethe.
“Just that, my little girl. Eric took her from me, did it just to hurt me. To prove a point. After I lost her in court, I went to talk to the judge. I walked in on Eric and his lawyer paying the judge and my lawyer off so I would lose the case. I told them I was taking them down and getting my girl back. They tried to kill me, I ran and haven’t heard anything since,” she rambles, her eyes flicking between mine and Bull’s.
I throw my chair back, anger filling my chest.
I turn and glare at her. “Who the fuck are you? How can you keep something like that from me?” I curl my lip in disgust.
“Me? Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you, Lip?” Cherry shouts.
“I think this charade has played its course, Lip. I think it’s time we tell her.” Bull sighs, and my head whips in his direction. The anger that was filling my chest turns into dread.
“What?” I mumble.
“Tell me what?” Cherry shrugs.
“Just know, I ordered this. Me, and I did it to protect you.” Bull pulls a cigarette from his pack and lights it. Shadow sits back in his seat and exhales a long breath. A vein pops out of my neck with the sudden amount of blood racing through my body. I feared this day would come. I never knew what I would do when it did come though, because I know I let things go too far with Cherry. But it’s here, and now she’ll hate me. She’ll loathe me.
“Just fucking tell me already,” Cherry demands, her brows furrowed.
“The judge to your case, he came and saw me. Asked me to take care of you. To kill you in short. He’s dirty, if you haven’t learned that already. He’s on our payroll, as we’re in his. When he told me his predicament, I told him no. I wasn’t getting involved in his dirt. Judge Calhoun threw the cash on my table and told me I had twenty-four hours to reconsider my offer or he was tearing my club down and he’d have an
other club off you. Next day, the local PD ambushed our club. I got my arm broke and my nose busted. Let’s just say I took that reconsideration he offered. I told him I would take care of you, and he’d better have my back with any cases turned his way,” Bull explains.
The words Bull is about to spew have my pulse throbbing in my ears.
“He handed me your folder after I accepted the order. It contained the usual. Photos, birth certificate, where you lived, what you drove, everything. When I saw your photo, I thought you looked familiar, but I didn’t know how familiar ‘til I looked closely at your birth certificate. I knew your father. We went way back, but he got on that juice and he was never the same after that. You – I only barely recognized you because you were barely knee-high to a grasshopper when I last saw you.” Bull’s face pulls together with sorrow. “Your father was an angry drunk, Cherry. I busted his jaw when I saw him get rough with you one time. That was the end of our friendship, and I never saw him again.” This is all news to me. I didn’t know any of this, didn’t know anything, in fact. I was given my orders, and where to find her. That was it. I’ve tried to get him to give me more over the years, but he just told me what I needed to know was what I knew.
“How did you take care of me? ‘Cause you didn’t kill me? I’m confused.” Cherry frowns, tears streaking her rosy cheeks. I have to curl my fists to curb the urge to wipe them away. To care for her. Old habit. Bull slowly takes his eyes from Cherry to me.
“What?” Cherry follows his gaze. Her eyes widen and her chest rises when she realizes I was sent to hush her. “No,” her bottom lip trembles. I stare back, not wavering.
“I’m afraid so. I couldn’t order the hit on you, Cherry. When I saw you, all I saw was a little girl who started life with an unfair advantage. So, I sent Lip for you. Told him to keep you away from the trailer park, to keep you safe and make you happy. To do whatever was necessary to make you feel at home,” Bull continues. Cherry’s eyes fill with tears again, her face angry as she pins me with a look of betrayal. My mouth goes dry, and I swallow the hard lump forming in my throat.
“I was a job,” she whispers. “I WAS A FUCKING JOB!” she shouts. She turns her head, tears spilling from her eyes. I feel like a fucking tool; nothing in my life has compared to the hurt that’s driving through my chest at this moment. I caused those tears on her face. I’m causing her hurt. Me.
“Try to relax, Cherry. It was for your own good, darlin’,” Bull tries to reason with her, but he obviously doesn’t know Cherry. She glares at him, her expression telling him to fuck off. I’m surprised she isn’t throwing a chair at him—or me, for that matter.
“So, he knew about Piper this whole time?”
“No, we didn’t tell him about Piper. In fact, we told him nothing. He was a prospect at the time. I had Shadow track you, and I told Lip where to find you,” Bull responds.
She shakes her head; her eyes clenched shut. “Why didn’t you just tell me all of this, why make –” She chokes on her words.
“I had my selfish reasons, Cherry,” Bull rasps. “This lifestyle isn’t all rainbows and unicorns, if you haven’t noticed. Everyone has been tested in one way or another in earning a place here.”
“Explain. I deserve to know why you couldn’t just tell me what was going on over the last six years!” she shouts.
Bull’s face hardens. “You were blackmail if that fucker ever broke our agreement,” he spits, his tone not sugarcoating a fucking thing. Cherry winces and closes her eyes again. “It was a win-win for everyone. You were alive and safe, and I had my insurance.” I glare at Bull’s insensitive tone.
“Cherry, I—”
“Don’t,” Cherry interrupts me. She rolls her lips on top of each other and exhales a long, tired breath. I look at Bull, his eyes giving an apologetic look.
“We aren’t even real, Lip. What I feel for you is not even real, is it?” She wipes her eyes and sighs loudly. “We are so done,” she cries.
Hearing her say those words, my heart jumpstarts with panic and my eyes sting. I grit my teeth, angry my emotions are getting the best of me.
“I thought fate sent you to protect me, to care for me, but it was all a lie. The only thing that sent you was the fucking Devil himself.” She points at Bull, and he sighs heavily.
“Cherry, just stop and listen to me,” I demand, my tone harsh.
“We’ll give you kids a minute,” Bull states, he and Shadow pushing away from the table.
As soon as they leave, I pull a chair up next to her and reach for her hand. She pulls away from me and levels me with a look that has my balls shrinking into themselves.
“Cherry,” I coax. She holds a hand up and closes her eyes, turning her head away from me.
I look down at my boots and fumble with my hands. “I’m sorry, babe,” I mutter. I feel like shit. I never wanted to hurt her; I was just following orders. This club is my family, my life. I did what I had to, even if I didn’t like it.
“Don’t call me that,” she snaps through gritted teeth. I slowly lift my head to find her tear-filled eyes solely on me. I’ve seen Cherry cry maybe twice the whole time we’ve been together. To see her beautiful eyes fill with sorrow, it hurts.
“I was a job. A fucking job to you. I fell in love with you, Lip.” She tilts her head to the side, a tear falling from her beautiful eye. “The way you cared for me, showed me affection, did you mean any of it? Or was that part of the job, too? Was any of it real, or did Bull tell you to be that way?”
I draw in a tight breath and run my hand over my head. It’s complicated. I tried not to love Cherry, and I’m still not sure if I am in love with her 100%. Over the years, seeing only her visit me in jail, her face lighting up when she saw me come home, falling into pure ecstasy when I fucked her—she grew on me. But when I told Cherry I loved her, it was because Bull had told me to, and not because I loved her. I know I care about Cherry on some level but I can’t identify my feelings for her. Are they because Bull told me to portray them, or are they real? I’m fucking confused.
“Yes, he told me to care for you, to be a gentleman.”
A whimper escapes her lips. She lifts her hand, resting her fingers against her mouth, as if trying to keep from showing me she’s so affected.
“That explains everything. The way you were before, and the way you are now. Your lies were catching up to you. Your mask of lies were SLIPPING!” She swipes a glass off the table, causing it to smash against the wall. “Six years. It was all a lie… for six fucking years. That day Bull showed up with my patch, that was him, wasn’t it?” she mumbles. I look down and nod.
“You fucking prick!” She shoves me hard, and anger flares in my chest. “You were the Devil in a mask of a saint.” I furrow my brows. Is she throwing Bible verses at me?
“You weren’t exactly truthful with me either, Cherry,” I sneer, sitting back in my seat and resting my hands behind my neck. Her head whips in my direction, her cheeks flushing with anger.
“I wasn’t exactly in the position to tell you I had a little girl,” she snaps.
I scoff. “Right. Six years wasn’t enough time, huh?”
“Fuck you!” She stands from her chair, tears streaming down her face. “I gave more than my heart to you, Lip. I gave my fucking soul.” She clutches her chest, and my worthless heart feels as if she just grabbed mine and squeezed. “I may not have been on the right path when we met, but at least I had my soul. I loved you and I loved this club; I thought you all were my family. I’ll do anything for family. When an ol’ lady wanted vengeance, I was there drawing blood by her side. This club and you blackened my spirit and for what?” She throws her hands out, hostile. “For it all to be for nothing!” she screams, her face turning near purple. “I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”
I stand and grab her by the shirt, pulling her chest flush with mine. “You’re right. You are different. You found who you are and fell into place,” I seethe, my patience wearing thin. She acts like she’s so
me fucking angel and I ruined her life. “I was a goddamn prospect; I was following orders, Cherry. You don’t think I wanted to tell you?” I jerk her toward me, and she whimpers. “It was just as hard for me as it was for you. Now. Calm. The. Fuck. Down.”
“No! You don’t get to tell me to calm down. In fact, you don’t get to tell me anything anymore. We are done.” She shoves me away from her, her eyes holding the look of hatred. “You’re a fucking liar,” she hisses.
“You’re such a fucking hypocrite. Your lie isn’t any less than mine. We both lied, both went into this withholding truths from one another.”
“You couldn’t even look me in the eye since you’ve been out of prison, Lip. So I guess you can count your blessings that we’re done.”
I grab her by the face and pull her toward me, my patience with her gone.
“Did it ever occur to you that I couldn’t look you in the face because I was living a fucking lie that burned me every time I laid eyes on you? I was falling for you, Cherry, but I didn’t know if that was because I was told to or because I really was. You don’t even know me; who I am deep down may not be the man you want to love.”
She tears her face from my hold, and her eyes furrow. “I guess we’ll never know. Huh? ‘Cause the man I’m in love with isn’t real.” She seethes the last part and shoves against my chest hard.
I take a step back and rub at my chin. The idea she has a little girl, a little girl she’s been seeing for years and has never told me about, pisses me off more than anything. She’s a mother, a role I never thought Cherry would take.
“Yeah, I can say the same about you,” I mutter, placing both my hands on the back of my neck. She throws her hair over her shoulder and wipes the tears from her cheeks.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m done. We’re done. I’m getting the fuck out of here and away from-”
“Not so fast, darlin’,” Bull states, stepping back into the room, Shadow following closely behind. Shadow gives a sympathetic look; he clearly knows I’m not in the best of situations right now.
“Excuse me?” Cherry huffs.