by M. N. Forgy
“It’s too dangerous out there, and besides, seeing how I didn’t keep my word to the judge, he may come after my club. I don’t need him picking you up and trying to use you as leverage or some shit. That wouldn’t be good for anyone involved.” Bull sits in his chair and kicks his boots up, not seeming nearly as agitated as I am.
“So, what’s that supposed to mean?” Cherry questions.
“Lockdown,” Shadow replies.
Cherry scoffs and rolls her eyes. From what I heard when I was in prison, when the club went on lockdown, Cherry would go MIA. She’s not one to follow orders. It’s one of the many reasons why I’m attracted to her.
“You better keep your pretty little ass right here in this club, damn it!” Bull orders. He lowers his head, his dark hair shining against the lights. “If I have to lock you in a room to keep your stubborn ass safe, I will,” he threatens.
“FINE!” Cherry shouts, her hands outstretched on either side.
“I’ll send Lip to get you some things. The club will be tight with everyone here, so you’ll be sharing a room with him.” Shadow smirks, knowing the position he’s putting me in. Fucker.
“Oh that’ll be-” Cherry nods sarcastically and bites her lip. “That’s just perfect,” she continues.
“Shadow, tomorrow find this ex-boyfriend; I want his every move. Report back as soon as you can and then we’ll make our move. We will get this figured out, Cherry.” She purses her lips and nods. “You can go now,” Bull directs.
Cherry shoves past me and leaves the room in a fit of anger. I sigh heavily and fall into the chair. My chest fucking hurts with an ache I’ve never experienced before.
“You all right, son?” Bull questions, and I nod.
“You love her?” Shadow questions. I shove my hands into my pockets, thinking about that question, not sure how to answer it, when my hands hit my gremlin bell. I pull it out, and look it over. The chrome of it is tarnished, but it still dings all the time. It fucking annoys me.
“You got thirty minutes, inmate,” the prison guard yelled before slamming the door. Cherry was wearing a white dress that went to her thighs, with white high heels. My dick instantly went rock-hard. I fucking wanted her, and badly. It’d been too long since my dick felt the wetness her pussy had to offer. I stepped up to her and grabbed her under the thighs, lifting her in the air. The smell of cherries and flowers wafted around me. I inhaled deeply. The smell was a scent of freedom, a scent that reminded me of my lies and sins to a woman who wanted nothing but my cold fucking heart. Why is she sticking around? Why does she care so much about me? I grit my teeth. Because I made her believe I was something I’m not. I close my eyes, and set her back down on her feet. Pulling my fingers away and distancing myself from her is almost as painful as looking her in the eye every day. She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“I got you something,” she whispered. My brows pulled together.
“You got me something?” I questioned. Her face lit up with a flush of pink as she pulled her fist out and opened it. It looked like some sorta bell in the shape of a skull.
“It’s a gremlin bell,” she informed.
I grabbed it, and it chimed.
“How did you get this in here?” I asked, looking it over.
“I have my ways.” She smiled, shrugged then smiled harder. “I used my puppy eyes and insured them you couldn’t kill anyone with it.” She laughed. “I saw it at the biker shop. It said it helps keeps evil spirits or gremlins from messing with your bike, and makes your travels safer.”
I trailed my eyes from the bell to her. Those gray eyes cutting me, slicing through my walls of shame and guilt. No matter how much of a piece of shit I feel, I just can’t seem to spit the words out that she’s a job.
“Nobody has ever given me anything before,” I muttered. Her face went still, and her lips parted.
“I love you, Lip,” she whispers. My balls sunk into the pit of my stomach and my chest constricted with an unfamiliar emotion. I grabbed her by the back of the head and pulled her into me, the smell of her flower shampoo strong. I closed my eyes and inhaled it, and kissed her forehead. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell her, because that will be the day she stops looking at me like I’m her world, her fucking man.
“LIP!” I tear my eyes from the bell to see Bull and Shadow both eyeballing me.
“What?” I mutter.
“Do you love her?” Shadow repeats. The question strikes my chest like lightning.
“I don’t know. Before, I would say no, but now I’m not sure.” I look back at the bell and rub the pad of my finger over it. “She’s grown on me,” I mumble.
“Lip, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest if you just back off. Leave her be. Just let her go, man,” Shadow suggests. My chest lifts with every fury-infused breath I take. My brows pull together and my jaw clenches.
“Let her be?” I question. Shadow gives me an off look before glancing at Bull, unsure. “You gave her to me, you put her in my fucking hands, and you fucking patched her in as MY property. That means she’s fucking mine.” I slam my fist on the table. “Mine! I will choose what I do with her. You won’t tell me to stay away from her.” I stand from the table, and knock my knuckles on the wood. “She’s my goddamn property,” I reaffirm, my voice deep and rough.
“It wasn’t my intention for you to go and fall in love with her, Lip,” Bull rasps, swiping his hands through his hair. My brows furrow, then widen. Realization that I may in fact love Cherry sends pain through my chest. Scowling, I point at Bull and Shadow. “Just…” I shake my head, thoughts of love and hate swirling through my fucking head. “Just stay out of it,” I mutter before leaving.
CHAPTER NINE
CHERRY
I slam the door to what was once mine and Lip’s room. The impact from the door closing rattles the bottles of beer and perfume on the dresser. I sink down to the floor, my hands tangling in my hair in my moment of distress.
“How can this be? How could this have happened?” I cry. This nightmare of horror is enveloping me. The scythe the Devil himself used to tear my heart from my chest made it so painful the depths of my wellbeing may never be the same again. My bottom lip trembles with the thought of being deceived for so many years. I fell in love with Lip, shared things with him I never have with anyone else. I close my eyes and tears slip down my cheeks.
I knew Lip was hiding something. I fucking knew it. I just didn’t suspect it ‘til recently, when his mask of Prince Charming started slipping. Funny thing is I preferred the fucked-up, kinky Lip over that bullshit fake Lip he was before. I guess because I always knew deep down he was more than he let on, that he was capable of causing mayhem.
I form fists in my anger. I was so stupid to think some guy off the side of the road would just fall in love with me and invite me into his family as easy as Lip did. I was naive enough to lift my walls, to trust again. I let my wings out and flew with the wind, only that wind turned into a hostile storm and I got swept up in its gust before I knew what was happening.
“Fucking asshole!” I scream. I keep screaming, so loud my throat burns, but I don’t stop. I continue to shout, demanding this hurt buried deep inside to leave at once.
I stand on wobbly legs, my voice nearly gone and my throat feeling like I swallowed razor blades. I swipe my arms along the dresser in a fit of rage. One by one, the empty bottles, clothes, and cosmetics go flying across the room.
“Lying son of a bitch!” I shout with my now-raspy voice, gripping the half-naked chick poster hanging on the wall and ripping it down. I grab every picture of slutty twat waffles hanging on the walls and tear them down the middle.
“I hate you! I hate you!” I cry, pulling the blankets and sheets off the bed. The bed that Lip and I fucked in—or what I thought was making love—many times before.
The sheets tangle around my arms, halting me from tearing the mattress onto the floor. How fitting—soft sheets that portray comfort and solace trapping me in a strong hol
d. I turn and twist, trying to break free, but I fall to the floor in a heap of fabric.
My fury and anger smothered with blankets cocooning me, my emotions spring through me with such a force nothing escapes but a stream of tears and gasping.
Six years of lies. Six years of deceit. Six years of false emotion and underlying secrets. I don’t see us ever coming back from this.
***
“Cherry?” I slowly open my eyes, seeing nothing but the gray sheets. I eventually gave in to my feelings and covered my head with the sheets, crying it all out on the shitty floor. I must have fallen asleep.
“Cherry, babe?” It’s Dani.
“What?” I croak, my throat feeling like raw hamburger. My eyes burn and feel swollen from crying so hard, and my throat is scratchy from screaming and yelling. I feel worn out… used.
The sheets tug upward and the lights from above beam with such a force I wince and turn my head away.
“Damn, girlie,” Dani whispers, her face conveying sympathy. I hold my hand up, stopping her.
“Don’t. I don’t need that shit. Just go,” I demand, pointing at the door, not looking at her. I am not the weak one. I don’t cry and I don’t have relationship problems. Yet here I am with all of the above. I don’t need someone to judge me, or to feel sorry for me. I just want to be left the hell alone.
“Don’t give me that shit. Sit up. I got a cold soda and some music.” Dani grabs my arm and pulls me upward.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re a pain in the ass?” I mutter, sitting upright. I push my back against the dresser and squint at her. She’s beautiful—long dark hair, green eyes, and a red slinky top with black shorts. You’d never guess she had two kids with the figure on her.
“Yeah, Shadow tells me all the time.” She laughs and I close my eyes. I seriously don’t want to think about men right now. “Shadow told me what happened. I’m sorry, Cherry. I’d kick Lip’s ass if it’d make you feel any better, but I know it won’t.” She slides down, sitting directly in front of me. She leans her back against the bed and tosses a soda can between her legs toward me.
“The joke’s on me ‘cause I really love Lip. Dark, light, all of his shades,” I scoff and grab the soda. Anger is slowly replacing my sorrow, but not fast enough.
“I hear you weren’t very honest with him, either.”
My eyes snap to hers and she raises a brow, waiting for an explanation. Instead, I pop the top to the soda can and let the fizzy cool contents slip down my sore throat.
“Seriously, Cherry, how could you not tell me you had a kid?” she continues. I set the soda down and pin her with a serious glare.
“I wasn’t really in the position to tell anyone, Dani. I wasn’t a mother. I had my rights taken from me. I saw Piper in the mornings when I could, and I had to be very careful about it. I had very dangerous men after me. I couldn’t risk it.” Lowering my gaze, I finger the soda top.
“Piper, that’s a cute name.”
I smile, and then tears prick my burning eyes. “Oh, Cherry,” Dani’s voice is laced with sympathy. She slides across the floor and embraces me in a warm hug. “It’s all right,” she whispers into my hair. I slowly push her off me and wipe under my eyes. I have to keep my chin up, got to stop this pity me bullshit.
“I’m fine. Really, I’ll be okay,” I reassure her. I think a piece of me knew there was more to Lip, a darker, more devious side. An inner beast that was lurking within the depths of his eyes, or the growl in his tone when he was angered. It was always there. I just refused to acknowledge it. I was too set on finding someone that was kind and gentle, making me feel like a fucking princess after Eric killed me emotionally. Now it’s time to suck it up, and face the beast that I’m in love with.
“You know I have your back, right?” My teary eyes find hers and my bottom lip shakes with the urge to just bawl.
“How? I’m not an ol’ lady. I’m not a part of this club. Lip didn’t want me here, Dani!” My voice begins to rise and Dani just shakes her head, a small laugh lifting from within her chest.
“It doesn’t really matter what Lip wanted. My dad gave you that property patch, right?” I nod, not sure what she’s getting at.
“My dad patched you in. He wanted you as family, and he made you one of us. You can tear off ‘Lip’s Property’, but that Devil’s Dust rocker? That’s no lie. You’re my sister through and through.” She gives a tight-lipped smile. My heart pains, not with one of heartache, but one with love and adoration toward Dani. She’s strong, she’s beautiful, and she’s the best damn sister I could ever ask for.
She stands and when I look up, I see a black iPod in my line of sight.
“What’s this?” I ask, taking it from her.
“It’s mine. I listen to it a lot when I’m in a mood or need my emotions sorted out. Or when I don’t know how to feel—the music does it for me.”
I nod. “Thank you, Dani.” I whisper.
“I gotta get back in there. Zane is probably raising hell with Bobby right now. Keep your chin up, Cherry.”
I stand on tired legs and grab the sheets.
“Oh, and Cherry?” I turn, finding Dani halfway out the bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“If you really love Lip, make him hurt. Show him what he’s giving up.” She smirks and shuts the door. I furrow my brows, not sure if I want Lip or not. A piece inside of me still does, but my mind is confused on whether it would be smart to forgive him.
I remake the bed and take off my bra and shorts. I’m so tired all I want to do is climb in this bed and sleep. Just listen to music and sleep my way through this lockdown. I flip the lights off and put the ear buds in. The song “Locked Away” by R.City plays. I arch a brow, unsure of the song at first. I’ve never heard it before. As the lyrics continue, they speak right to my soul, telling my life story. A tear slips from my tired eyes as the song serenades me through reality and emotions I’m trying to deny. The fact that I’ve wanted nothing but to be there for Lip, and yet here I am, turning my back on him, not listening to a word he’s saying. The song guides me through emotions and feelings I can’t sort or explain, until my senses are drowned with sleep.
***
The bed dips, the feeling of warmth slips over me, and the smell of fresh mint wafts around me. Lip. I turn onto my belly and look over, finding Lip getting comfy right next to me in the bed. Has he lost his mind?
“I’m sorry, are you lost?” I ask, my voice muffled with sleep. The ride of self-pity is over, and now I’m pissed. I’m fucking angry and really just want to deck Lip in his face.
Lip rests his head on the back of his hands and looks up at the ceiling. “There is nowhere else for me to sleep. The club is packed, Cherry,” he explains, sounding irritated, like he’s talking down to me. It grates on my nerves.
I push myself up with my arms, grab his pillow from under him and throw it on the floor.
“What the fuck?” He leans over to grab his pillow, and I quickly shove my feet in his back and push his ass off the bed. He lands with a loud thump, and I move over into the middle of the bed.
“You like to lie so much, why don’t you sleep with the rug, baby,” I suggest in the most condescending voice I can muster.
He pulls himself up off the floor and stands. I can’t see him because it’s so dark, but I can tell his arms and chest are puffed out and outlined with anger. He’s pissed, and no doubt pinning me with the most furious stare. Good.
“Maybe you forgot, with your nose so stuck up in the air, but you fucking lied to me, too, princess. So, why don’t you lie on the floor with me?” He grabs the mattress and in one swift movement pulls it off the box spring, and I land with a thump.
My mouth pops open with shock. Lip grabs his pillow and fluffs it before lying on the floor next to the mattress.
“There, now we’re even. Two liars, side by side.” He sniffs. “We’re equal.”
My eyebrows pull together, and my fingers dig into the mattress. “Yes. I lied
to you, Lip, but I had no choice!” I shout.
Lip sits up and leans in, his face nearly touching mine. “Neither did I!” he shouts right back.
We sit like that, nose to nose, our breaths angry and hostile but in sync with each other. I’ve never seen Lip so angry, so furious. Before he was locked up, if someone disagreed with him, he’d look at me and brush the other person off. I used to think he was just down to earth and didn’t sweat the small stuff. I didn’t know he was just being a fake.
I pull away first and lie down, my back facing him.
***
The sound of yelling and stomping in the hallway wakes me from my sleep. I slowly peel my eyes open and find myself hanging halfway off the mattress. I raise my hand to wipe the sleep from my eyes, finding Lip’s hand entwined with mine. My palm is warm and sweaty, and he’s as close to the mattress as he can get. His eyes pop open and quickly find me raising our joined palms.
“Shit,” he whispers, snatching his hand from mine. I shove my sweaty palm to my chest and look away.
“Jesus, what the hell is going on out there?” Lip questions, looking at our closed door.
“I’m not sure. It woke me up, too,” I mutter. Lip sits up and hikes his knees, resting his elbows on them before swiping his fingers into his messy hair. My thighs clench; God, I love it when he does that. I close my eyes and shake my head. No, don’t react to him.
“I’ll go get us some breakfast,” he insists, standing.
“I can’t eat,” I state. My stomach is still in knots from everything, and the sound of food isn’t appealing. Lip arches a brow as he shoves his legs into some jeans.
“You should eat something,” he insists. I scoff and tilt my head to the side.
“Screw you,” I snide.
“Whatever, starve. That’ll really show me,” he mutters, grabbing his shirt off the floor and slamming the door behind him.
I flex my fingers and grit my teeth.
“Gah!” I scream. This man fucking infuriates me!
Who grabbed whose hand last night when we were sleeping, me or him? I shake my head and stand to find some clothes. It doesn’t matter. I need to focus on getting out of here and figuring out a way to get my daughter back. Those are my top priorities right now.