The Lies Between Us

by M. N. Forgy

  LIP

  I stride down the hallway, the smell of eggs wafting throughout the club. Hopefully, the ladies got together and made the whole club breakfast and not just their kids.

  “Give that back!” Addie shouts, chasing Zane down the hallway. I jump out of the way as the two sprint through. Addie is Doc’s kid, and Zane is Shadow and Dani’s. I don’t know how old they are. Zane is small, and Addie is bigger. I don’t do well with kids. I think it goes back to my childhood or some shit. Or that’s what the shrinks in prison said, anyway. My dad was a tough ol’ man and made my life a living hell. He called me a pussy, told me I should have come out of my mom sprouting a vagina instead of balls.

  “Phillip, you better hit that damn baseball like a DeLuca!” my father shouted from the stands. I swallowed hard and pulled the rim of my baseball cap down. My father looked huge sitting in the bleachers with the rest of the parents. He had on blue jeans and a white fitted shirt that covered his strong torso firmly, and of course he had on his leather cut, displaying that he was an Outlaw to everyone sitting in the bleachers. The president of the Sin City Outlaws motorcycle club, to be exact. My father shoved his boot onto the seat in front of him and gave a firm nod, his tanned Italian skin shining with the sweat the sun caused. I took a big breath and turned on the base to face the pitcher, determined to hit this fucking ball into the next field. I was going to prove to my father I was worth a damn, that I wasn’t the son he was ashamed of. My brother Zeek was my father’s pride and joy, always getting into trouble and getting caught in the traps of the law. My dad wanted me to be just like my brother, but I’m going to show my dad that I can shine in a way that doesn’t involve criminal activity.

  The pitcher looked behind him at his other teammates before looking back toward me, a sly smirk across his face. Tommy Ricci. My father told me plenty of times how I needed to hang out with Tommy, let him rub off on me, that I could learn a thing two from him. But Tommy’s just a punk. He’s mean to the girls, and a fucking ass-wipe to those who call him a friend. He steals, too; I caught him stealing from our teacher’s purse the other day. I, of course, didn’t say anything. I’m starting to think my father wants me to be bad, that it would make him love me more.

  Tommy threw the ball, and I swung.

  “Strike one!” Shit. I hit the baseball bat on the base and gripped the wooden bat. Tommy chuckled and threw the ball again. Another strike.

  “Come on, boy,” my father sounded from behind me, his tone laced with humiliation.

  Tommy lowered his head, his eyes digging into my insecurities. He threw the ball, and I closed my eyes and swung again.

  “Strike three! You’re outta there!”

  Fuck. I just let the other team win.

  “Great job, Phillip,” one of my teammates slammed into my shoulder leaving the field. I dropped the bat and slowly turned, finding a fuming father. I strode off the field, and my father rose from the bleachers. He unfolded his large frame from them and stood above me. I shrank in his shadow. He gripped the back of my shirt and dragged me to the car.

  “You are a disgrace to the DeLuca name. You don’t get your sense of failure from me, that’s for sure.” He tugged on my shirt and pushed me into the car. “You don’t even look Italian, for Christ’s sake.” He lowered his head and shook it, his boot kicking the rocks at his feet. I crossed my arms and tried my hardest not to cry in front of all the other kids and parents. Being ten years old was a tough age as it was, but having my father breathing down my neck was even harder.

  “Let’s go, Phillip. See about getting you into some fucking ballet classes or something.”

  Screaming snaps me out of my childhood memory, and I continue toward the kitchen. I rub my eyes, burning from lack of sleep. I couldn’t stop watching Cherry last night. She’s fucking beautiful. There is something about being free from the lies that I had to live with so long, being let go from the pressure the club bestowed on me. I see Cherry in a whole other light. She fucking lied about having a kid; her defiance turns me on, yet pisses me off. I love how wild she is, how broken and against the wind she can be. It keeps me on my toes. I need a girl who stays interesting, who can bust my balls. It makes me want to tame her and stand proud that she’s mine. I tug my bottom lip between my teeth. It doesn’t make me less angry about her lying, though.

  Addie runs into the kitchen, slamming the door into the wall.

  “Jesus!” I yell as Zane shoves me out of the way.

  “Welcome to breakfast,” Tom Cat states, thrusting a paper plate of scrambled eggs into my chest. I take hold of the plate and shake my head.

  Dani shifts in her seat, bouncing her newest baby Delilah on her hip.

  “Damn it, Zane, I said to stop chasing her!” Dani parents.

  “He’s fine, Dani. He’s just being a kid,” Bull interjects, shoving a pile of eggs into his mouth.

  “Ya know, I thought we were bad-ass bikers. When did this place turn into a playpen?” Tom Cat mutters.

  The door slams open and Cherry walks in. The sight of her makes me choke on an egg. She’s wearing a black ripped-up tank top, her breasts nearly popping out, and some blue jean shorts that used to be jeans, frays and strings hanging out along her freckled skin.

  “You all right there?” Tom Cat questions, slapping my back. I pound on my chest and take a deep breath to clear my air pipe.

  “Yeah,” I croak. Watching Cherry’s ass as she walks to the stove, I have to turn and face the wall. My dick is growing at a fast rate inside my pants, and has no signs of dissipating. Her throwing a wall between us makes her that much more tempting. She’s like the forbidden fruit of the MC garden, and I want it. I want to break every rule, give into temptation and damn the consequences just so I can have her one last time. I want her without knowing in my head she’s a job. Just her and me, no lies between us. I want to explore the feelings I have slicing into my chest like a searing knife.

  “Boys, let’s get to the chapel and work out this mess, shall we?” Bull stands from the table and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

  “Shouldn’t I come?” Cherry asks.

  “Nah, not right now, darling. Let us figure shit out first.”

  “I want my daughter, Bull,” Cherry blurts. My dick just took a nosedive, the reminder of her lying to me a complete turn-off. I bite my lip with anger. I never thought she would lie to me, that she could be so manipulative, and that pisses me the fuck off. I became a pussy, and I let my guard down. Bull told me to be that fucking Prince Charming, and I did, for a while. But when I got out of prison, seeing Cherry standing tall to be my woman, I just couldn’t hold up the act anymore. I wanted her to know the real me.

  “First order of business: Cherry and this fucking mess,” Bull states on an exhale. “If any of you are lost, here are the facts. Cherry got herself in a mess with Judge Calhoun, and he came to us to take care of it. I made Lip the distraction, and kept her in line. But apparently, our beloved Cherry has not been so honest with everyone. She was supposed to be gone, dealt with. But now they know she’s here and a problem, and now it’s our problem.” Bull clears up the confusion.

  “I’m sorry, maybe I’m just the morbid one here, but why didn’t we just kill her ass or pay her off to go somewhere when this shit happened?” Old Guy questions. I grit my teeth at his boldness.

  “Well, we were going to, but I know Cherry from when she was a baby.” Bull shakes his head. “I couldn’t kill her, or put her out there knowing she’d be killed, so I made the call and kept her under radar. So, now that we’re all up to speed, they know we didn’t kill her, and they’re going to come here with retribution.”

  “What a fucking mess, man,” Bobby mutters, running his hands through his hair.

  “I agree,” I throw in.

  “Shadow, find this boyfriend, or baby daddy, whatever the fuck he is today. Find out what he knows, and who is after her exactly,” Bull orders.

  “You got it.” Shadow nods.

  “I’m comin
g with,” I state.

  “No!” Bull points at me.

  “What the fuck you mean ‘no’?” My nostrils flare with anger.

  “You’re too distracted, and I don’t need fuck-ups,” Bull explains.

  “I’m not distracted,” I scoff.

  “I disagree, son. If you would’ve left the table last night and pounded your frustration out on some young piece of tail, maybe. But when I offered my room to you last night, or even a fucking cot in the main room, you turned both down to be with her in your room.” He points at me with a steady finger. “That is fucking distracted.”

  “Agreed.” Shadow laughs, and I narrow my brows and level him with a ‘shut the fuck up’ look.

  “You stay, Lip.” Bull slams the gavel down. I flex my hands in irritation.

  I’m so fucking confused and angry. I hate Cherry. I want Cherry. I want to hurt her and fuck her. I’m a complete fucking mess.

  I used to blame the job on my confused feelings. I tried to build a barrier of what was real and what was fake, but that dam I built of guarded emotions soon begin to crack, my affection and desire to care for her splintering through the wall that held me together. Now that the mission has been lifted, I can feel those small cracks spidering into something unstoppable. I care for Cherry, whether I want to admit it or not. She’s mine, and I’ll kill any motherfucker who tries to step in front of that.

  CHERRY

  I place my empty plate into the sink and head back to the bedroom. I ate some, but I just don’t have an appetite. I feel like everyone is staring at me. A shiver runs up my spine with the sudden unease. Everyone knows I was just a job to Lip. They’re probably thinking, “That poor girl. She went and fell in love with him, and none of it’s even real.”

  I slam the door behind me and grab the mattress, shoving with all my might to put it back on the box springs. After finally getting it in place, I crawl onto the bed. My eyes prick with the urge to cry. I inhale a steady breath through my nose and close my eyes. I will not cry. I will not cry.

  The way Lip acted as if everything was just a job conflicts with my heart. I swore he loved me, the way he looked at me when we were together said so. The way he cared so much about my wellbeing, that couldn’t have all been because of him being ordered to take care of me… was it?

  A small knock sounds at the door. I roll my eyes and sit up, folding my legs under me Indian-style.

  “What?” I snap.

  Dani steps in with Delilah, her youngest, on her hip, Doc following closely behind her.

  “You all right?” Dani asks, sitting on the bed. She flips her hair over her shoulder and pins me with sad green eyes. I tear my gaze from hers and look at Delilah, who’s picking up a ripped-up poster piece.

  “Shit, Delilah, no,” Dani scolds, grabbing hold of the poster.

  Doc takes Dani’s place on the bed and reaches for my face. She takes hold of my chin and turns my head slightly, looking over the stitches in my eyebrow.

  “How do they feel?” she questions, trailing her manicured finger over them.

  I shrug. “Okay, I guess. They itch some,” I reply.

  “Yeah, try some Vaseline. I’m sure with all these horny men around here, you can find some.” She smiles, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Are you going to hide in here the whole lockdown?” Dani spits, holding Delilah on her hip.

  “Wow, to the point, huh?” I chuckle.

  “Well, I mean, it’s no secret you’re avoiding everyone.” Dani laughs and my cheeks warm with humiliation.

  “Ease up, Dani; I don’t blame her. This club…” Doc shakes her head. “Let’s just say, it can be unconventional sometimes. That order your dad gave Lip was fucked-up and you know it.” Doc looks over her shoulder and furrows her brows at Dani.

  “No, I agree it was. But it’s what had to be done.” Dani shrugs. The depth of her loyalty to this club is something I envy. No matter how wrong The Devil’s Dust can be, she always has their back.

  “Regardless, Cherry is a human. She has feelings. Lip could have been a little less, I don’t know, personal about the whole thing.” Doc tilts her head and chews on her bottom lip. “Did he say he loved you? Did he make love to you?”

  I turn and look out the window next to the bed. The sky is dark; I wonder if it will storm.

  “Well, did he?” Dani questions.

  The tears I was trying to hold back fill to the rim of my eyelids and spill over.

  “Once, but the way he made love to me before was so intimate, as if he was telling me he loved me through sex. I figured he was just a guy who didn’t do the mushy shit that he conveyed how he felt through his actions.” I fiddle with my fingers. “Lip was very persistent when we met, and came on so strong. He and I were in a wave of lust, in a sea of tangled sheets every other day. Maybe that’s all it was, though—lust. Or maybe I fell in love so quickly I became blind.”

  “Ouch. I can’t even imagine,” Doc mutters.

  Dani leans in close, placing her hand on my knee. “I love this club. I’ll do anything for this club. But the reason why we came in here was to tell you that you are one of us, through and through. Lip went too far in that-that job. We’ll make his ass pay,” Dani promises.

  “Damn straight,” Doc agrees.

  I laugh and wipe at my cheeks.

  “Thanks, guys, but you’ll probably just make it worse,” I advise.

  “Probably,” Dani agrees. “But we’d do it for you.”

  “I’m good, but thanks.” I smile.

  “You need to find out if you were just business to Lip, or if it was more,” Doc adds. “I see the way he looks at you. He cares about you, Cherry.” I lower my head and bite my bottom lip. I am not sure if I want to know though. I’m scared that I was nothing but a job and Lip was just a really good actor.

  “Don’t act like you don’t want to know. You love him, Cherry, and if you walk away without finding out, you’ll always wonder if he really loved you,” Doc tells me. I roll my eyes and pick at the blanket on the bed.

  Delilah giggles, and my eyes shoot to the little girl. My heart aches. I want Piper so badly. I just want to hug her, to have her little arms wrap around me and pull this bitterness from me.

  “This will all blow over, and before you know it, you’ll have your little girl back and she’ll be here with ours.” Dani smiles, her tone optimistic.

  “Yeah, then you can go crazy with us.” Doc laughs.

  My heart sinks, my stomach turns, and I feel like I may puke. The thought that I may get my daughter back is too much for me to even handle. I want it. I want it badly. I never thought it was a possibility, though.

  The door opens and Tom Cat pokes his head in.

  “Dani, Doc, you might want to get in here. Zane got a Hot Wheel stuck in Addie’s hair.” A loud scream sounds from the hallway. “Yeah, she’s pissed. Zane thinks it’s funny, though.” Tom Cat chuckles.

  Dani and Doc give each other a knowing look before both hurrying out the bedroom door.

  As soon as it shuts, I sigh with relief. I don’t know how many more therapy sessions I can have with those two. They make me… feel. I don’t want to feel. I just want to lose myself into a tomb of darkness, not feeling anything. A tranquility of never-never land. A land where nothing bad ever happens, and the only feeling you experience is numbness.

  ***

  I wake with the sound of thunder and groan. Slowly sitting up on the bed, I see a plate of food next to the door. I missed dinner, or was it lunch? Bringing my knees up, I rest my elbows on them. I survey the room—it’s trashed. I sigh with a sound of dread. Maybe if I clean this place up, it will help the way I feel. I crawl off the bed and kick at some posters. I grab the iPod Dani gave me from the dresser and swipe through the songs, landing on “Look Good For You” by Selena Gomez. My eyes perk with the lyrics, ideas swiping through my mind. As much as I don’t want to care if Lip had any real feelings for me, I know I truly do care for him underneath all my resentment.
I bite my fingernail and eye the dresser. I wonder if I walk into the club wearing something so revealing what Lip would do. Would he care, or would he shrug it off now that the orders have been lifted? If he reacts, then I know I was more to him than a job. If he doesn’t do anything then I know my place, and I’ll need to move on as much as it may hurt to do so. But at least I won’t beat myself up thinking what if.

  I grab the dresser drawer and start rifling through it, finding a small red dress wadded into a ball in the back. Perfect.

  I pull it over my head, the silk material clinging to my thighs. It’s skintight, showing off my curves perfectly. I spot some black heels under the dresser and put them on, too. With all the guys in the club, I can surely get at least one to look with these. If I can make Lip jealous then I know I have some effect on him.

  I throw my head over, shuffling my hair, giving it that sexy volume. The door opens and I throw my head back, finding Lip staring right at me. I smirk and run my hands through my hair. Here we go, the truth is about to be revealed.

  His nostrils flare, and his hands clench. My heart stammers against my chest, not sure what his reaction means.

  “What are you doing?” he asks, his tone of voice low and rough, the sound of it doing things to me.

  I shrug, not really sure myself.

  He rubs at his chin, his eyes undressing me from head to toe.

  “Can I help you with something, Lip?” I cock my head to the side and furrow my brows.

  His eyes are hooded, his chest rising and falling rapidly, but he doesn’t respond. Feeling nervous, I pull the dress down some and step toward him.

  “Excuse me.” I try to move around him, but he catches my elbow.

  “You are not going out there in that.” His eyes narrow as I snatch my elbow from his grip and grimace.

  “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore,” I seethe before walking past him, heading down the hall.

  I catch Bobby at the end of the hall, and his mouth pops open. He punches Kane in the arm, not taking his eyes off me, and Kane smirks at me. Before I can take another step, my world goes upside-down and I’m thrown over a broad shoulder. Using my hands, I push myself up to find Lip’s fine ass.