Free Falling

by Moseley, Kirsty

  I couldn’t make sense of my feelings. What was I supposed to do when I couldn’t even figure out what was going on in my own head? Sighing, I pulled out my cell phone, sending a quick text to Alex that I was skipping class and going home early so I didn’t need a ride today.

  The wind whipped around me, so I hugged myself against the cool air and trudged out of the school gate, not once looking back. My mind was a mess, I just wanted to switch it all off and stop thinking and feeling. Everything was so overwhelming that my eyes prickled with tears again. My thoughts flicked to Luke and what had just happened. The reality of events hit me with a huge wave of humiliation. I’d just screamed over a frog, then been carried out of the school like a baby. Wow, that’s so impressive, Maisie. My face flamed with embarrassment because people had probably seen what happened, Luke, of course, wouldn’t care in the slightest, but other students would have heard me scream and seen me throw myself at him like a small child. They were probably going to be talking about me even more tomorrow.

  My feet seemed to be moving of their own accord; I wasn’t thinking about where I was walking, I was lost in thought and on autopilot, so when I looked up my surroundings surprised me. I was at the children’s play park not far from my house. Luke and I hung out here a lot before he got his car and could drive us places. My eyes settled on the roundabout where we would sit and talk for hours on end. This place held bittersweet memories for me. I chewed on my lip as I looked around, thinking of all the fun and smiles that I’d shared here with Luke. My heart ached. I missed him.

  I headed over to the roundabout and sat down, using my foot to push it gently around while I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. My stomach fluttered as a memory washed over me - the first time Luke kissed me. We’d been sat right here, it was our third date and he’d said that there was something he needed to do because he just couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I’d asked him what it was, he’d smiled that beautiful cheeky smile and leant in, pressing his lips against mine just for a second before he pulled back and beamed over at me.

  I smiled to myself, tracing my lip with my fingertip; I could almost still feel his mouth against mine. But then another thought hit me. Luke with her. A whimper left my lips as I laid back against the cold plastic and gave the roundabout another push with my foot. I stared up at the clouds, my mind running rampant as I thought about that night and what I’d witnessed. My concerns from earlier were haunting me again. He’d said that someone put something in his drink - would she do that? And if she did, was he trying to tell me that he was raped? He looked like he was in control, but what if he wasn’t? What if she put something in his drink for the sole purpose of seducing him? I knew I needed to speak to Luke about this possibility. If he felt like he’d been taken advantage of then I had no right to be shutting him out like I was. If he felt like he had been attacked then I should be supporting him wholeheartedly, not pushing him away from me. If the situation were reversed and someone had put something in my drink then I would need him to support me, not break up with me.

  My phone beeping in my pocket caught my attention. Shifting awkwardly so I could shove my hand into my pocket, I pulled it out. I had a new message from Alex.

  ‘Where R U? Why R U not home if U left early?’

  I frowned and looked at the time. It was after half past four. My eyes widened in shock. Had I really been laying here, just thinking, for that long? I jumped up, sending a text that I was on my way and then headed home quickly.

  When I got to my house I spotted a motorbike in the drive, parked behind Alex’s car. I frowned at it wondering who it belonged to. As I pushed open my front door the smell of food wafted out, making my mouth water and my tummy rumble because I hadn’t really eaten all day - my lunch had been scattered across the floor when Luke and Zach had been fighting.

  “Maisie, that you sweetheart?” my mom called from the kitchen.

  “Yep,” I confirmed. As I walked up the hall, I was almost bowled over by my dog, Chester. He was a little black cocker spaniel and he was adorable. But he was getting on in years now; he was almost twelve years old. “Hey, boy.” I bent and scratched behind his ears while he wagged his tail like crazy at me. He followed behind me as I walked to the kitchen where I could hear my mom cooking. “Hi,” I greeted, seeing both of my parents standing there.

  My dad smiled, cocking his head to the side quizzically. His green eyes regarded me with concern, so I forced a smile. “Hey. How come you’re so late?” he asked.

  I sighed, knowing they would hound the answer out of me later anyway, so I might as well just tell them now. “I had a little run in with Luke at school, I was just walking and thinking, that’s all. I didn’t realise the time.”

  I saw my dad’s fist clench at the mention of Luke’s name. He was doing well restraining himself actually; I was surprised that my dad didn’t punch Luke when he first found out.

  “What did that little punk do now?” he growled.

  I sighed. “Nothing. Can we just…” I trailed off, wincing; I really didn’t want to talk about anything today.

  My dad sighed too. “I heard your brother got detention for fighting at school today. Care to elaborate on that? He wouldn’t,” he said, raising one eyebrow in question.

  A wave of love washed over me for my twin. He hadn’t explained anything about the whole lunchroom scene to my parents, I was extremely grateful to him. Yet another thing I owe him for.

  “Seriously? You can’t figure out what happened all by yourself?” I asked sarcastically.

  My dad grinned. “I can actually; I just wanted someone to give me a play by play of Alex smashing Luke’s face in. I’m sorry I missed it,” he answered, shrugging casually.

  “Clay,” my mom hissed, her tone warning. I smiled gratefully at her. Movement behind me made me turn, and in walked my brother.

  He smiled sadly at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into a hug. “You okay there, Maze-daze? Hard day?” he asked, looking at me worriedly.

  I sighed and relaxed into his embrace. “I’m fine. Thanks, Alex, I owe you,” I admitted, smiling weakly.

  He shrugged. “Let me tap your friend’s ass and we’ll call it quits.”

  “Alex!” my mom scolded, throwing a dishcloth at him.

  “Charlotte wouldn’t even go there anyway,” I dismissed, shaking my head confidently. I heard Alex grumbling something under his breath, but I didn’t even try to understand what he said because at that moment, the toilet flushed in the downstairs bathroom. I looked around the kitchen, a little confused. We’re all here, so who on earth is in the bathroom?

  When the toilet flushing perpetrator stepped into the kitchen, I groaned. How had I not put two and two together when I saw the bike out the front? Zach didn’t look at me though as he went to stand next to my brother, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

  I smiled weakly. Is he still annoyed with me for walking off and leaving him after gym class? “Hey there, Zachary. How’s the face? You look like shit,” I teased, smirking at him, using the words that he’d said to me this morning.

  A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth but he was obviously fighting it. “Still getting better with the bitchy comments, if we keep going you’ll be able to hold your own in an argument by the time you graduate,” he replied, his voice cool and aloof. He didn’t even bother looking at me.

  I laughed at that comment. “What you doing here anyway? Got nothing you need to be jumping over?”

  He sighed and frowned. “I came to hang with your brother. Also, I thought maybe I’d get to talk to you about tutoring and stuff. Maybe we should make up a schedule?” he offered, finally looking at me.

  I groaned quietly. I’d forgotten about that. “You sure you wouldn’t rather just let someone else do it?” I asked, putting maybe a little too much hope in my voice because he frowned and shook his head forcefully. “Fine,” I grumbled. “I’m going to wash up before dinner.” I headed into the bat
hroom, closing the door behind me before leaning against it and sighing deeply. I already knew this was going to be a rough evening. On top of having to plan out a tutoring schedule with Zach, I knew I needed to speak to Luke about Friday night. I needed to know how he felt about what happened with Sandy, how he saw everything. That was going to be an extremely painful conversation. This was going to be a long night, I could feel it. I already knew I’d be crying myself to sleep tonight.

  Chapter 10

  After washing my hands, I stepped tentatively out of the bathroom. Hushed whispers caught my attention, so I stopped just outside the door and listened to what they were saying. “So, she said there was a run in with Luke. What happened?” my mom asked.

  “Ask her. I’m not getting involved. I have the twin loyalty thing that I was born with,” Alex answered in his cool and aloof tone. I smiled gratefully. Sometimes, just sometimes, I loved having a brother.

  “Alex, be serious. We’re trying to help,” my mom whispered back. “She looks so sad and she hasn’t really opened up to anyone about it. It can’t be good to keep it all bottled up inside like that.”

  This time it was Zach who came to my defence – just maybe not the way I would like him to have done it. “I told her she should punch that Sandy girl in the face. But apparently violence solves nothing,” he joked, laughing to himself.

  Having heard enough and not wanting to get caught listening, I pulled out my phone and snuck up to my room, needing to get one of the things cleared up, or at least set the ball in motion. I text Luke, asking him to come over at about eight o’clock so we could talk. He replied immediately with a yes, as I knew he would. I sighed and headed downstairs and was grateful that the conversation seemed to have turned to something other than me.

  They were talking about Zach’s freerunning and the disciplines of it. Zach was trying to convince my dad that it was, in fact, a sport even though it wasn’t classed as it. That it was basically gymnastics, mixed with martial arts and a lot of other things thrown in.

  I stood in the doorway, just listening to him talk. He was so passionate about it, the way he waved his hands as he spoke, the way his mouth pulled up into a smile or his forehead creased with a frown. If I could just get him to apply the same passion to his schoolwork he’d probably be an A-student. He had already proved with a couple of things that he said to me today that he wasn’t a brainless moron. There just had to be some reason why he wasn’t connecting with classes. Maybe he liked the attention of being a delinquent; I’d heard that a lot of people did. Maybe he was starved for attention at home or something – though that wasn’t true from what I’d seen this morning with his aunt. She certainly had a fond smile for him, but then again, maybe he hadn’t been living with her that long. Maybe the lack of attention was a by-product of why he lived with his aunt in the first place. I guess only he knew for sure.

  He turned to look at me then; he’d caught me staring at him, trying to work him out. He smiled his cocky little smile and raised one eyebrow. Wait, does he think I’m checking him out? The knowing smirk that slipped onto his face clearly indicated that he thought he’d caught me looking at him for a reason other than the truth. Even though that kind of thing had never even entered my head, I felt my cheeks heat up and my eyes dropped to the floor. Both of those reactions probably confirmed his theory that I was lusting after him. Damn it, what is wrong with me? Can’t I just make it through one hour without embarrassing myself?

  I sighed and stepped into the room, stubbing my foot on the doorframe and tumbling into the room, catching myself on the table. Huh, apparently I’m struggling to make it through a minute without embarrassing myself, not an hour. Zach’s smirk grew bigger as Alex laughed and chirped, “Epic fail, Maze-Daze!”

  I righted myself as my mom passed steaming plates of pasta to the three laughing males in my house. Even my dad was having a little chuckle at my expense. Perfect.

  Sitting down and looking only at my plate, I silently hoped that talk wouldn’t turn to me and Luke again. I tried my hardest not to think about him coming over later and how that painful conversation was going to go down. Luckily for me though, Zach steered the conversation to sports, and the whole meal was spent with the three males talking about freerunning, kickboxing and football.

  When we were finally done eating I looked at Zach expectantly. “Want to work out a schedule now or something?” I offered, hoping he’d say no. Then again, maybe tutoring him would keep my mind from wandering to other things; he seemed to be able to keep my mind off of Luke pretty easily.

  He nodded but then offered to help clear the table. My mom waved him off, smiling. “I got it; you go do your tutoring thing. I assume that’s what this is about?” she asked, smiling kindly.

  He nodded and rolled his eyes. “Yep. Apparently your daughter is one of the smartest students at school so I have to be humiliated by being tutored by someone younger than me,” he replied, shrugging.

  I laughed at that statement. He was repeating a year; therefore, everyone was younger than him. “Come on then, let’s hurry this up, I have something to do tonight,” I suggested, eyeing the clock worriedly. It was almost six thirty already, and Luke would be here at eight. I turned and headed out of the door, knowing he would follow me. I stalked up to my room, rummaging through my schoolbag for a binder or notepad or something that we could work with.

  When I found everything, including coloured pens to make it easier to make him up a studying schedule, I turned to find him stretched out on my bed looking the picture of ease. I frowned and he raised one eyebrow, putting his hands behind his head, kicking off his shoes.

  “So, shall we get down to the really gritty stuff?” he offered, smirking at me suggestively.

  I sighed and stomped over to my bed, gripping his legs and shoving them out of the way so I could sit down at the foot of my bed, glaring at him. “If you’re not going to take this seriously then you can just find someone else to tutor you, Zachary,” I stated, dumping all of the books and pens on his legs.

  A frown slipped onto his face. “Stop calling me that, I hate that!” he snapped.

  I’d definitely hit a nerve there with the name thing. “Fine, I’ll stop calling you that, seeing as you asked me so nicely,” I replied, rolling my eyes at him. “Are you going to work hard at this or not, because I’m not wasting my time if you’re not going to bother.”

  He sat up and pushed all of the stuff off of his legs. I thought he was going to get up and walk out, but he didn’t. Instead, he nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I need to graduate this year otherwise I’m screwed.”

  “Screwed, how?” I asked, frowning and trying to work him out. He was such a complicated person at times. Sometimes he came across with his devil may care attitude, but just now he actually looked a little vulnerable, worried even.

  He blew out a big breath and closed his eyes. “I’ve been offered an opportunity, an awesome opportunity, but the offer is only good if I graduate.” I raised one eyebrow, prompting him with my silence to continue. He chewed on his lip and seemed to be weighing his options before he spoke, “I got offered a job, my perfect, dream job actually. Stuntman for an upcoming action movie,” he explained.

  My mouth popped open in shock at that little bit of information. “Holy crap, really?” I gasped.

  He nodded, smiling proudly. “Yeah, but because of certain things that I really don’t want to talk about, I need to finish high school to prove to them that I can stay focussed. So far, I don’t seem to be able to stay focussed enough to stick to anything. So, if I can’t graduate in a couple of months then I’m screwed like I said.”

  Wow. Am I sitting on the bed with a future movie star? That thought was a little weird actually. “Well I guess you’d better work hard this time then, huh?” I teased, picking up a pen and throwing it in his direction. He caught it effortlessly and smiled, rolling his eyes.

  For the next hour he actually took me seriously. There were no cocky joke
s, no snide remarks, and no slutty comments. I was more than a little proud of his effort. We’d talked through his weak points, discussed action plans, and finally drew up a schedule so we could get together and study. We also made up a homework planner for him too, so that he could do that on his own. I was really hoping he’d stick to it, but I guess only time would tell. When we’d done all the hard work and had a planner for both of us, he grinned.

  “You’re such a nerd. Why did we have to colour it in? This isn’t art class,” he teased, laughing at his sheet that was all boxed in and coloured to make it easier to understand.

  I snatched it out of his hands and flopped down onto my stomach. “The red ones are the most important staple subjects that take priority. The blue ones are second, and the green-” I started to explain, but he jumped in and cut me off.

  “Third, I get it. I think I can see where this is going,” he joked, nudging me over on the bed as he laid down next to me.

  “Exactly. The white bits are where you have free time. Yellow is for less important things that you don’t actually require to graduate. With this like this then you can see where you are and if you have a spare half an hour then you can work on the yellow or something,” I suggested, shrugging and smiling at his schedule proudly.

  It had taken a long time to work out when we would meet up. His freerunning training took a lot of his spare time, also the fact that he didn’t want to go to the library was a bit of a pain, but we’d gotten there eventually. We both had free periods at the same time on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for an hour so we would do it then at school. On Mondays and Thursdays it was to be afterschool, either at my place or his. The only thing I didn’t like about those two days was that he said he’d drive. I didn’t have a car, so it was the back of the bike for me for two days a week so that we could get home to study.