Santa's Seven-Day Baby Tutorial
Page 15
“Feel it. Aim. Eye on the hoop. What’s the third thing?”
“Fun,” Colt said, stealing the ball and dribbling it to the hoop, then slam-dunking it in. “Yes! Asher scores!”
“Fun for you, maybe,” Devin said with a grin.
Colt bounced the ball over to him. “Okay, show me your free throw, remembering what I told you.”
“The ball is going in,” Devin said. “Hoop, I feel you. Aim with my eyes on the hoop.” He shot—and missed. “Told you I stink.”
“You missed because you forgot the third thing—to have fun. Basketball is pure pleasure. Not frustration. Even the best of the NBA stars miss.”
“I guess. My dad never misses a free throw. Sinks it every time.”
“You miss him a lot, huh,” Colt said.
Devin dribbled and walked toward the hoop, wiping at his eyes, and Colt knew he was crying. His heart squeezed for the kid.
“Are you trying to make the team to please your dad?” he asked, hoping that wasn’t the case.
“My dad was on the basketball team in middle school and high school. He’s even on his squadron team when they have downtime. I want to be like him, but he can’t help me get better because he’s not here.”
“I know what you mean. I always wanted to be like my dad. I became an FBI agent because my dad was an agent. I wanted to be like him.”
“And now you are.”
“Actually, I’m not,” Colt admitted. He froze, the words echoing in his head. “I mean, I’m an agent and I love my job. But my dad and I are very different people. He wasn’t an athlete at all in school, but I was. My favorite sport is baseball, but his is hockey. He doesn’t even like baseball.”
“Want to know a secret?” Devin asked.
“Sure.”
“I don’t like basketball. I just wanted to get good at it so my dad would be proud of me when he comes home.”
“Is he proud of you about other things?”
“My grades. I’m second smartest in my class. And class president.”
Colt smiled. “You don’t have to be everything your dad is. You just have to be you. Do what you want to do, what makes you happiest. Maybe that’s learning to shoot hoops, but maybe it’s not. Maybe you’re meant to put all your energy into being the greatest class president. Maybe you prefer chess to basketball.”
“I do, actually. But my dad thinks it’s really boring. My mom likes to play with me, though.”
“Sounds like you have a great family, Devin.”
“So you don’t think my dad would be disappointed if I don’t try out for the team again?”
“I don’t think it would even cross his mind. I’ll bet he just wants you to be happy. That’s what makes a dad happy.”
“Can you play chess?”
“I’m not great, but yeah, I can play.”
“Can I still keep the ball you got me even though it might gather dust in my closet?”
“Absolutely.”
“My mom has a chess set in her desk. I can go get it and we can play out here on the picnic table.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Devin grinned and ran toward the back door, then turned back. “Thanks for the ball! Did I say that?”
Colt smiled. “You just did.”
Devin ran into the station, and Colt watched through the bars on the window as the boy talked to his mom, and then they hugged, his mother looking very relieved. She turned and saw him watching and mouthed Thank you. Colt held up a hand and smiled.
He hadn’t expected his meeting with Devin to go like this. He hadn’t expected a lot of what had happened his week.
He stared up at the hoop, remembering playing by himself for hours in the school yard. His dad was never interested in playing with him when he was around, which wasn’t often. It hadn’t occurred to Colt before that he wouldn’t be like his father, that all households weren’t run like this. He could be a really good dad for all he knew. Fatherhood was about commitment and love and being there and seeing your kid for who he was instead of who you wanted him to be.
But Devin Lomax wasn’t his kid. His nephews weren’t his kids. Maybe it was easy to think you knew it all when you weren’t the one in the trenches 24/7—for real. He was just a side-seat parent to his nephews. Anna was the real force these past several days.
So maybe he’d be distant like his father was if he had his own son or daughter. Maybe if Devin was his son, their conversation would be very different. How could he know for sure?
He thought of Anna, knowing absolutely nothing for sure because everything was so new. But she was as sure as can be of staying in his world. With or without him.
Courage score for FBI agent: zero. Amish woman: he’d lost count of the number, but it was high.
The most important question: was he really going to walk away from her in two days?
How could he? Because as he waited for Devin Lomax to come out with the chess set, he envisioned Anna Miller holding a little Anna or a little Colt in her arms. His baby.
Why the hell didn’t he know his own mind? Did he love the woman or not? His heart said yes. Screamed yes.
But his head said no.
Which one was right?
Chapter Thirteen
Anna had no idea how Colt was going to react when he walked into her room. The lights were dimmed. His nephews were once again at his twin’s house for the night. And Anna was practically naked in her bed. Waiting.
Yes, this was an ambush.
She wasn’t all that naked. But she was wearing a sexy nightie she’d bought in a boutique today. She’d come out and run into Emma Morrow, Jake’s wife, with baby Violet, and they’d all spent a couple of hours together. Emma had asked what Anna had bought in the boutique, and when Anna pulled out the sexy black nightie and explained she was trying to seduce a man who wouldn’t be seduced, Emma insisted on taking the twins home so that Anna could set the stage.
He’d said no to sex. But on their penultimate night together, she had a new plan.
After meeting Devin, he’d spent an hour helping out in Hurley’s kitchen and then delivering the boxes of food to area food banks and shelters. A half hour ago, he’d texted her that he was back at the inn, about to take a long, hot shower, and would knock on her door to see about dinner plans in about fifteen minutes.
She’d be waiting.
The knock came. Anna got up and glanced at herself in the mirror, her hair loose around her shoulders, the scrap of lace on her body showing everything she had. Only the lamp on the desk was on, dimly illuminating the room.
She sucked in a breath, took a Zen moment to collect herself and opened the door.
Colt stared at her, his gaze dropping from her face to her sexy outfit. “Expecting someone?”
She laughed. “You’re not supposed to make jokes at a time like this.”
His expression was dead serious now. “A time like what?”
She took his hand and pulled him into the room, then locked the door. “The twins and I spent some time with Emma and Violet. I ran into her in town. She insisted on taking Noah and Nathaniel home with her, and I had plans for you tonight, so I hope that’s all right with you.”
“That the twins are at Jake’s or your plans for me?”
“Both.”
“Depends what you have in mind,” he said, staring at her.
“I’ve asked you to be my first. You thought that was a bad idea. I flat out told you earlier that I’m in love with you. You said nothing. Which is fine—I told you to think on it. Whether we’re together or not, Colt, I want my first time to be with you. I’m in love with you and I’ll never have another rumspringa. This is it. I want you to make love to me. If you’re out of my life in two days, I’ll still have my memori
es. And I want this to be part of those memories.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and then took both her hands in his. “I don’t want to hurt you, Anna. Can’t you understand that? Casual sex isn’t your thing. Trust me.”
“I’m sure it’s not. But there’s nothing casual about this for me. I’ll be making love with the man I love. Knowing full well he’ll be out of my life in a couple of days. But this is what I want. Tonight has nothing to do with whether we have a future. Tonight is about tonight. Only tonight.”
He held her gaze, and she could see the intensity there. He wanted her, but he was about to force himself to leave. Please don’t walk out, she prayed silently.
“You’re sure, Anna? One-hundred-percent sure?”
Relief. He wasn’t going anywhere. Tonight, anyway. “I’m sure,” she said, reaching out to unbutton his shirt. He didn’t stop her.
She took off his shirt, her hands splaying on his muscular chest, then moving up to his broad shoulders and his face. She lifted up her chin and kissed him, and he took her in his arms and backed her against the door, his mouth exploring hers, his hands running over the lacy satin negligee. And then finally, both hands slipped underneath, his large warm hands on her bare skin, her waist and upward to her breasts, where he lingered. His hands moved back down, caressing her hips, and then he froze.
“Something wrong?” she teased on a whisper in his ear.
He gulped in a breath. “No underwear.”
“Nope,” she said, pulling him closer and undoing his belt buckle and lowering the zipper.
She watched him step out of his sexy jeans, the black boxer briefs making him look like an underwear model. With her gaze on his, she slid those down and then wrapped her hand around his erection. She’d been worried when she got to this point that she’d have no idea what to do. She’d never gone this far before. But Colt seemed to like what she was doing just fine. He growled and kissed her neck, then nipped aside the lacy material to kiss her breasts.
Suddenly he picked her up and carried her to the bed, laid her down and began kissing every inch of her body.
“You’ll be needing this,” she said, reaching into the drawer on the bedside table for the box of condoms she bought from the drugstore earlier this afternoon. She hadn’t been embarrassed or blushed. She’d marched up the counter and said, “Just this, please” and was thrilled with her little plastic bag when she walked out.
“The whole box?” he asked with a smile.
“Maybe,” she whispered, kissing his neck, his shoulders, his glorious chest.
And just a few moments later, everything she’d ever heard about sex, in whispers and hushes, everything she’d read about in books and magazines, she now knew was true.
And if she had her way, he would be going through that entire box. Because this might be her first and last time with the man she loved more than anything in this world.
* * *
Colt watched Anna sleep and brushed back her hair from her beautiful face, unable to stop staring at her. I love you, too, he whispered silently. But he wasn’t ready to say the words aloud. He could hear them inside his head, his heart, his gut, quietly though, like all his nerve endings were whispering in a chant: I love you, Anna Miller. He’d been hearing those whispers for days now but had ignored them. Now he couldn’t.
So what now? This beautiful butterfly was going to fit into his gloomy world back in Houston, where he never could be sure if he’d come home in one piece? When Colt was undercover, he was weeks in the field and there would be spotty communication, if any. Could she deal with that?
God, Colt, the woman barely used a telephone or electricity for twenty-four years. She’s not exactly used to constant communication anyway.
But still. She wasn’t used to people she loved being in dangerous situations. And he wasn’t used to having someone to care about while in those dangerous situations. What if his feelings for Anna made him hold back on the job? He couldn’t afford that.
The one thing he did know was that he didn’t have a con woman on his hands. Colt had figured it would be a long time before he’d trust another woman after what had happened with Jocelyn—discovering the woman he thought could finally be the one turning out to be a criminal. A high-level drug dealer. Sickening.
This amazing Amish woman sleeping next to him managed to banish Jocelyn from all the dark recesses of his mind and heart. No easy feat.
Everything about Anna was pure openness. He trusted her. And because he could trust her, he could love her.
He just wasn’t so sure if loving her was the best thing for her. She didn’t know what having an FBI special agent was all about. For the past several days, she’d had him all to herself, on vacation in this quaint town, playing family. Back home in Houston, he’d leave every morning with a gun in his holster. Some mornings he’d wake up undercover in the field. Could she deal with that, the danger, the not knowing? Did he want to put her through that? She was just starting out her life, applying to nursing school, discovering who she was outside of her village.
He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t fair of him to speak for her, to make decisions for her. That wasn’t how you treated someone you loved and respected.
His heart heavy, he turned away, trying to figure this out from his end, not hers. But she was wrapped up in every thought he had.
His phone pinged with a text and Colt carefully got out of bed, not wanting to wake Anna. He grabbed the phone off the desk. Harlan.
I need you back 12/26, first thing. Time to infiltrate/undercover. Attached is the intel on Duvall.
Well, it looked like Anna was going to find out sooner than he thought if she could handle having an FBI agent for a boyfriend.
* * *
When Anna woke up, a warm, gooey feeling of pure happiness burst inside her, despite the fact that, as she opened her eyes, she was sure Colt Asher would not be in bed beside her.
But he was.
“You’re here,” she said.
“Of course I am.”
Of course I am. No. Nothing he’d said in the past week indicated that he would be there the morning after.
“Anna,” he said, putting his arm around her. “No matter what happens between us when we get back to Houston, I’d never disappear on you. I’d never leave you wondering. If I can’t be with you, I’ll tell you. As I have.”
“But you have told me. That’s why I thought you’d be out jogging at six a.m.”
He smiled. “Touché. But last night was a game changer. I knew it would be for me, Anna. It’s probably why it was so easy to say no to sex before. Because I knew once I touched you, I wouldn’t be able to let you go.”
“So you’re not letting me go?”
“That depends on you. I got a text from my boss this morning. Harlan needs me back the day after Christmas. First thing. I’m going undercover in the Duvall crime syndicate. I could be gone for a week, two weeks—I won’t be able to say. Can you deal with the uncertainty of that?”
“If you can, I can,” she said.
“Jesus, Anna, how the hell do you know?”
“If you’re willing to risk your life to protect the people of Houston, of Texas, from a monster criminal who thinks nothing of soliciting children to sell drugs, who kidnaps prostitutes and turns them into trafficked victims, who murders without a thought, then I need to support you, not cause you stress about your life’s calling, Colt.”
He stared at her. “How does an Amish woman know about Duvall? About human trafficking and drugs?”
“An Amish woman who read newspapers every day in Grass Creek before and after market time. Yes, I lived a sheltered life. But my heart, mind and soul have always been out here. What I read in the newspapers didn’t make me want to stay in my village, cocooned. It made me want to be here, finding my own call
ing, helping. I’m going to be a trauma nurse, Colt.”
He was still staring at her, and she had the feeling he wanted to say something but was holding back.
“You’re something else, Anna Miller,” he finally said, pulling her into his arms.
She waited for him to tell her he loved her, that they’d have a life together once they returned to Houston. She waited five minutes. Then ten. But he was silent, just holding her, stroking her back, caressing her hair.
“We’d better go get Noah and Nathaniel,” he said, then kissed her cheek and got out of bed.
He loved her. She knew it. He was ruminating, letting everything sink in, particularly this new information that she actually had a clue about the work he did, that she could handle it. That she was tougher than she appeared. Colt had probably been counting on her not handling it, making it easier for him to walk away to shield himself.
She smiled. Not happening. He was hers and she was his. She’d let him have his time to digest. But she believed deep inside that she and Colt would be together. They had to be.
* * *
Colt and Anna spent a couple of hours at Jake’s ranch, Anna going off with Emma to see the animals, and Jake and Colt walking the property with the babies. Colt was amused at how Jake’s big orange cat, aptly named Redford, trailed them around the property. And he was glad to hear that Hank, the Full Circle’s foreman, had indeed apologized to his on-and-off girlfriend, Fern, and they were back together.
The twin he’d met just several months ago now felt like a trusted friend, someone Colt would turn to. For a lone wolf who could count on one hand those people, he now added two: Jake and Anna. He could likely add Sarah Mack Ford and her husband, Edmund, and he was sure he would as he got to know his birth mother better, too.
As he and Anna left, he knew he’d be back to visit soon and that Jake would come see him in Houston. They were forging their own relationship, and though they might not exactly think of themselves as brothers, they had a special connection that Colt felt deep inside.
As they headed back to town, Noah started fussing like crazy in his car seat. Colt pulled over to the side of the road and they both got out to investigate. With the twins rear-facing in their car seats, they couldn’t see what was causing Noah the trouble.