by C. P. Watson
“Jaclyn, hand me my fucking keys!” My father spat as he pushed my mother against the wall, “you know you can never stop me from doing what I want.” He warned as he grabbed the keys out of her hand and slapped her across the face, the keys hitting her as well.
He stormed out of the room walking past me and out of the house. I heard the engine of the car as it drove away. I then ran over to my mother as she slumped against the wall, the impact of the slap leaving a noticeable bruise. “Mommy, are you okay?” I looked at her as she grabbed my small hands in hers and smiled.
“Yes honey, why aren’t you in your room?” She said barely above a whisper.
“I heard daddy yelling,” I said as she drew me in for a hug, tears sliding down my soft cheeks.
“Don’t worry baby, I won’t ever let him hurt you.” She said and kissed my forehead.
“I will make sure he doesn’t hurt you anymore,” I said sniffling, I knew my father had done much worse than a slap and when he got home he might have wanted to continue where he left off.
“Go to your room baby, you have school tomorrow.” She said kissing me on my forehead. I nodded and walked away from her, my mind telling me not to leave her side but I knew it was best to listen to what she said.
I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks and I closed my eyes, “a sad thought?” I heard someone say making me open my eyes. Ava and Natalie were standing next to my bed. I looked at the little girl and how innocence portrayed itself in her concerned eyes. I remembered that I was once like her, little and carefree, but my innocence was tainted just around her age. I hoped she did not have ordeals like mine when I was a child.
“Distant memory,” I said not taking my eyes off of the little girl, she offered the same intent stare back, her brown eyes trying to analyse me.
“Are you two having a staring contest?” Ava questioned making me retreat my eyes and refocus them on the ceiling. “We just came to say that we are leaving.” She added making me turn my face to look at her.
“Am I starting the volunteer work tomorrow?” I questioned feeling the need to occupy my time. The more I had to do, the less fucked up I felt. Maybe volunteering would help me more than I originally thought.
“As soon as you would like, but the tutoring will be held off until next week so that the scheduling can be organized.” I nodded and shifted my eyes to the little girl again then back to her older sister.
“I’ll manage with being your slave for now then,” I said trying to lighten my mood.
“You are more like an indentured labourer because you are going to benefit from it.” She smiled before looking down at her sister.
“We should go now, mom and dad must be waiting.” The little girl nodded.
“Goodbye Kylie,” Natalie said smiling.
“See you tomorrow, Miss Reese,” I said as she walked out of my bedroom door, ignoring my mannerism.
I stripped out of my clothing and stretched my limbs before pulling my blanket over me, tiredness enveloping my being.
“Mommy, is daddy okay? I didn’t mean to…” she cut me off by placing her index finger against my lips.
“It’s okay honey, the police just have a few questions, answer them truthfully okay?” She said, and I nodded. She picked me up, my legs wrapping around her torso. I wondered how she managed to lift me since her torso must have been hurting from daddy kicking her repeatedly in the stomach. I placed a kiss on her cheek as we walked into a room where a man in a suit sat at a table that was in the centre of the small room. The huge mirror took up the space of almost an entire wall. I kept peeking at my reflection as mommy took a seat, my legs still wrapped around her.
“Who are you?” I asked as I squeezed my mother closer to me, my way of protecting her.
“I am a detective sweetie. Lieutenant Richards. Do you know why you are here?” He asked, and I shook my head.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said as I buried my face into my mother’s chest. She caressed my hair and kissed the top of my head.
“Tell him, baby, he won’t harm you.” She said making me lift my head from being smothered into her chest.
“Are you sure mommy? Daddy said I shouldn’t,” I said, my eyes beginning to well up.
“I’m sure.” She continued to caress my hair since it always calmed me down.
“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” The detective said, and I nodded.
My eyes shot open and I could feel the anxiety hitting me. I closed my eyes to calm myself before hopping out of bed, heading straight into the bathroom, stripping out of my undergarments and stepping into the shower. I turned the knob allowing the hot water to cascade down my body. I leaned against the bathroom wall as my body slid down to the floor. I wrapped my arms around my knees and leaned my head back, the steam of the water allowing my nerves to calm.
After the shower, I checked the time on my wristwatch, luckily it was waterproof since I rarely took it off. It was only 5:00 in the morning so I decided I would take an early run to burn off some steam.
I got out of the shower, making sure to turn off the flow of water and grabbed a towel from the dresser. I quickly found a fresh pair of shorts and a sports bra and chose the same sneakers I wore before.
◆◆◆
WHEN I GOT BACK from my run, I decided to call my mother. I ran up the steps and into my room in search of my satchel where I had left my phone. Taking my phone out of my bag, I also grabbed the pack of gum I had from the day before.
After entering my password and finding my mother in my contacts, I pressed the call button and placed the phone against my ear. It took about three rings for her to answer and her voice sounded tiresome. "Hey baby, you know better than to wake me up so early." She yawned before I heard shuffling and a groan from someone next to her.
"Tell Brian ‘hi’ for me. I'm sorry for bothering you, I just..."
"It's okay honey, how are you? Is living with your grandpa working out or do I need to hire a U-Haul?" She chuckled, making a smile form on my lips.
"I'm okay, things are great. I am going to do some volunteer work for the school, you know for some extra credit for Harvard." I said as I took out a piece of gum from the packet and unwrapped it before placing it inside my mouth and chewing.
"That's great honey, I am so happy you are socializing. What will you be doing, though?" She questioned as I heard Brian say something. "She said hi as well." She told him.
"Math tutoring and a teacher's pet, not too thrilled but if it helps with college and occupying my time, I will try."
"Oh baby, have you been having flashbacks again? You only want to occupy your time when you do." She said, concern laced in her voice.
"No," I lied, "I just think it's time for me to associate with people," I said trying to convince myself as well.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes mom, don't worry so much. How is work going? No more courtroom shootings I hope." She chuckled.
"No, no, none of that. I am working on an important case at the moment, it is confidential so I can't tell you more." She said.
"Okay sounds good. Anyway mom, I just got back from a run so I am going to take a shower, okay? I'll talk to you later."
"Okay baby, be safe, don't go running after any girls, and focus on school." I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"When have I ever, mom?" I questioned.
"Point taken, go shower, goodbye baby."
"Bye," I said before the other side of the line went dead.
I took a breath as a removed the phone from against my ear and rested it onto the bed. I took a quick shower and changed into slacks and a t-shirt, before grabbing my satchel and heading off to school. Grandpa must have been still sleeping as usual since he was not a morning person, a trait both my mother and I took from him. After grandma had died about a year prior, she was cremated without having a funeral, just as she wanted. Her desire to not have people mourning over her death beside her dead body was expressed since I was growing up, and
everyone accepted her decision. It was painful to let her go without being there to say our last goodbyes, but it was what she wanted and my grandfather did everything that she had asked of him. He was the only one present at the crematory and both my mother and I buried ourselves it excessive work on that day to distract ourselves from what we knew was taking place. Grandpa soon learned how to cope with the loss of the love of his life. He carried on his days with trivial things and a lot of sleep since he was retired.
The morning air was warm and windy, the sky a light shade of blue and the clouds white and puffy. My eyes travelled along the length of the street and the roads, admiring the beauty the little town held. I had two classes that day, both Literature but different levels of the subject. I really needed to attend, since I did not in my Junior year, because of my intolerance of the teacher who had something against me since Freshman year. He was anti-LGBT, and it was clear to the entire school that I was indeed a lesbian. I saw no need to hide my sexuality nor wanted to. I was proud of it, but that teacher would have gotten me expelled if I attended his classes. His remarks and attitude towards the LGBT community in class angered me to the extent of punching my locker on multiple occasions, which made me eventually drop his class.
As I walked, I passed teenagers that were heading to school as well, they looked at me in a more knowing way than before. I just continued my journey to school and as I neared, I heard someone yell my name. I turned around not recognizing the voice and saw someone running towards me. I did not recognize him at all, turned back and continued to walk trying to ignore him, but he caught up to me and hastily placed his hand on my shoulder making me stop in my tracks. "What do you want?" I growled not even turning to face him.
"Uhhh...hhh." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I tried to calm down, I was getting angry for no reason at all and I knew it.
I turned to face him, "I'm sorry for being so mean, but what do you want?"
He cleared his throat and gripped the strap of his backpack before speaking, "I was wondering... if you wanted to... go to a movie sometime." I arched my brow. ‘Was it a joke or was he serious?’
"You're not serious, right?" He looked at me as hurt flashed across his face, he bit down on the inside of his cheek as he ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair.
"I...uhh..."
"You do know that I am a lesbian?" His eyes widened and he stepped back.
"You... you are?" He said surprise laced in his voice.
"I just said that I am." I shrugged and checked the time on my wristwatch. I had a good ten minutes before my first period, but I did not want to be around him any longer. "Look, dude, you are obviously uncomfortable with the information I just shared. So, let's save each other the trouble and never speak again, deal?" I said and did not wait for him to answer as I walked away towards the entrance of the school. I let out a sigh of relief and found my locker, placing my phone inside. I did not need any temptation to distract myself during class. I had to focus, I had to pass, and not only pass but I had to achieve an excellent grade. If not, I would have felt like a complete failure, as I was already feeling.
I walked to class and entered, surprisingly being the only one there. Ava then entered and looked at me as she placed her handbag down on the desk. "Hi, Kylie." She said as she opened her bag and took out a folded piece of clothing. The fabric looked familiar. "I just wanted to return this." She said walking towards me and stretching her hand out to hand it to me.
I shook my head and smiled, "keep it, it looks really good on you." I said but she did not retract her hand.
"No, I can't."
"Keep it, just don't make it a habit of soiling your clothing while you are over." I chuckled and she retracted her hand.
"Thanks." She said walking back to her desk, confusion seemed to arise on her face. She placed it back in her bag, not even zipping it before turning back to me, "you're a lesbian, right?" I rolled my eyes. ‘How many people were going to make me speak about my sexuality in less than five minutes?’
"Yes, I said that I am yesterday," I said making her lean against her desk, her eyes wandered around the room before focusing on me again.
"Your grandpa never said..."
"So my grandpa should have told you my sexual orientation? If you are uncomfortable with the topic, why bring it up? Look, if you don't want me to be your TA any more, it's okay, cause if you are going to be like this..."
"No, I never said I had a problem with it." She took a deep breath, "I am just curious about it, I mean there are many gays in the town, but I just don't understand what the orientation means I guess. Am I making any sense?"
"Gays?" I phrased with an amused look on my face.
"Is that all you got from what I said?" I chuckled and shook my head.
"What time do you want me to help you today?" I questioned knowing that I did not have enough time at that very moment to explain it to her.
"After school is fine." She said confused as to why I suddenly changed the topic.
"Okay, well I have you fourth period today and then I am going home, so how about you come over? I can help you with whatever you need. I hope it is something we can do there, and I will also explain to you anything you want to know."
She nodded, "that sounds good, I have a lot of questions. I just have to mark take-home assignments I gave the class to do over the summer." She said and smiled, looking as though some tension was gone.
"Okay, the bell will ring in... hold on," I looked at my watch, "five, four, three, two, one." I looked up and the bell rang the exact moment. I was surprised that no other students but me were in the class. "Doesn't seem like anyone but me is attending today," I said as we both stared at the door. She walked towards it and opened it before we heard multiple voices yelling. I got up, walked out with her and came upon a fight taking place near the entrance of the school, where what seemed to be an entire class was standing around watching.
She loudly groaned before leaving my side and walking straight over to them, a man in a suit ran past me as well and towards the riot. "What is going on here?" He yelled. A boy with dark brown, curly hair picked up the other on his shoulder. They fought like amateurs. He placed down the boy after hearing the man speak, which made the same boy punch him in the stomach. The curly haired boy fell back from the impact and landed on the floor while yelling profanities. "That is enough, both of you, in my office now!" The man scolded, who I then presumed was the principal. The two boys walked in tow with the principal as they walked past me and probably towards his office.
"Everyone in class now!" Ava yelled as she walked towards me with everyone in tow behind her. "Unbelievable." She mumbled walking past me and into the classroom. I followed behind her and headed to my seat as the rest of the students piled in except for the two boys. "Now that everyone is not ditching class to witness a fight, we will have an oral test as your punishment." I groaned and slumped in my chair. ‘Why was I being punished as well?’ I had a bad feeling in my stomach and knew I would not be able to answer any of the questions. I read the two required books for the class already but to answer questions about them, I could not.
"Okay, since you guys had the entire summer to read ‘Hollister's Journey’ and ‘The Tribulations of an African Slave’, we'll start off simple since I doubt any of you has read past chapter one or even a single word from any of the books." She looked around the classroom, her eyes landing on me for a moment longer before she looked away, "who is Hollister in the book Hollister's Journey?" She asked and pointed to someone at the back of the class to answer.
"Um... he is the main character." I heard the voice of a girl say and knew she was completely wrong.
"That’s incorrect, Emily," Ava said.
"I don't know then." The girl said and Ava shook her head in disappointment.
"Does anyone know the answer or do I have to give the entire class detention this afternoon?" That was a bit too much just because no one knew the answer to the question. I was
definitely not staying after school for detention, I had to help her with grading assignments anyway. ‘Why was I concerned about her and her work?’ I took a deep breath before raising my hand. "Yes, Miss Blanckaert."
"He is the narrative voice that tells of his experience growing up with a single parent in a third world country," I said as a smile formed on her lips. "His mother is the main character," I added making her nod and she turned her attention back to the class.
"So, the new girl had to answer the question. I am very disappointed," Ava said and crossed her arms over her chest. "Everyone has detention after class except her." She added making the entire class except me groan. I felt eyes on me and knew they must hate my guts if they did not already.
“She is a senior, so she is supposed to know the answers.” The same girl who got the answer wrong said.
“That has nothing to do with this, Emily.”
”Well, I am just wondering why the hell she is in our class.” The girl grumbled.
"Can everyone hand up their assignments that I gave over the summer?" Ava ignored the girl and began collecting the assignments from students. I presumed that was what I had to help her grade later that day.
"Miss Blanckaert, you have to write an essay of thousand words about a topic of your choice, I will give you by the end of the week to complete it." She said as she continued to collect the papers. I nodded as I watched her collect the last of the papers and walk over to her desk where she placed the pile. She turned back to the class and looked at me before looking back down at the pile on the desk. "Miss Blanckaert, can you come over here for a second." I nodded and got up from my seat, her smile broadened as I neared which made me happy for some reason. "Here is the student register." She picked it up from the desk and handed it to me. "Please mark the student names and I will be back in a few minutes. You can sit at my desk." She gave me a smile before leaving the classroom.