by C. P. Watson
"What if she breaks my heart?"
"Well, that is when big momma steps in." She chuckled.
"You're so weird, but I love you."
"Yeah, yeah, you say that now, but when you fall for Ava, you will forget about me."
I shook my head, "you know you are the only one I really trust." She sighed and pulled me closer.
"I am your mother; how can you resist my hugs and kisses?" She squeezed me closer to her.
"Do you think I can ever be comfortable with anyone else?" She nodded against my shoulder.
"You will, in time, you just have to build that trust and I know you will." I sighed, "but please try to break out of your comfort zone, give Ava a chance, and if it doesn't work out, at least you would be broken out of the isolation you are in."
"What if I gave her my trust when she doesn't deserve it?"
"Do you think she deserves it?" I nodded.
"Then give her a chance."
CHAPTER EIGHT
Iawoke with my mother's arms wrapped around my torso, my discomfort seeping up on me. I was always more comfortable with my mother and did not mind her touch unlike with everyone else, but still, there was a limit to the amount of affection I could take from her. I picked up her arm with my hand and moved away from her quickly before dropping her hand on the bed and walking out of my room. I sighed as I slowly walked down the steps, my mind a bit fuzzy as continuous yawns escaped my lips.
“Kylie, you're up late.” I heard my grandfather say as I entered the kitchen. I sighed as I looked at his tired eyes and slouched shoulders. He was sitting on an island stool while using his laptop.
"Just woke up to get some water." I said as I walked over to the fridge and opened it, "so what are you doing?" I questioned as I grabbed a bottle and closed the fridge, before trying to sneak a peek at his laptop screen.
He closed it before I could have read anything, "oh just reading, you know my curiosity about the aliens." I nodded, I did believe in aliens but I never ventured into research about it.
"Mom's asleep, try to go easy on her, you know she went through a lot too, I was selfish to say the things I had said," I said referring to when I burst down in front of everyone earlier that evening.
"Honey, you have every right to, I know that she is not a bad mother, my anger may have caused me to say things I now regret, but the events that took place are very unsettling. I wish I was there to protect you, and I want to do everything in my power to give you the justice you deserve." He said the last part with evident anger.
"Grandpa, there is nothing we can do, it happened a long time ago," I closed my eyes as memories began to recollect in my mind. "Stay sane and go to bed," I said as I rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room. I tried to catch my breath as I walked up the steps but my body gave up on me.
"Kay, sweetie, let me help." Grandpa said making me shake my head, "come here." He pulled me into him so that my head rested against his chest. "Honey, what's wrong?" He questioned as I blew breath against his shoulder.
"Nothing, I'm just tired." I sighed and pulled away from him. I ran up the steps and into my room where I saw my mom was about to walk out of, "baby, are you okay?" She asked as I walked past her and towards where my phone was on the bedside table.
"I'm fine. I need to talk to Ava." I whispered as I unlocked my phone and was about to dial her number.
"She must be sleeping, it's very late." She whispered walking over to me and taking the phone away. "You two seem closer than I thought." She continued making me bite down on the inside of my cheek.
"We're actually not, I keep pushing her away." My mother placed her hand on my shoulder.
"You seem to be doing just fine." She kissed my forehead. "Come on, let's go back to bed, tomorrow you're taking me on a walk around town."
"Mom I have school, and tutoring, and being a freaking assistant." I sighed as I sat down on the bed.
"Okay, calm down baby, tell me what's wrong." I rested my head into the palms of my hands. "From what I have figured out, you're Ava's assistant right? Being that she is your Literature teacher and all." I took a deep breath.
"I'm just frustrated, you know me, I get irritated easily." She sat on the bed next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
"Don't worry honey, you had a much tighter schedule than this last year, between academics and the track team, not to forget your attempt at cheerleading.”
"Oh no mom, please don't bring up cheerleading, that was the worst decision I ever made."
"You were great Kylie, those backflips were amazing, too bad you quit before you even started." I shook my head.
"Hey, you wanted me to go for try-outs, you never said I had to accept their offer to be on the team."
"You should have baby, you have so many talents, and so much time, you are young, vibrant and very brilliant, not to mention amazingly beautiful." I dropped my hands from my face and looked at her.
Love and kindness were filled in her pale blue eyes. I gave her a kiss on her cheek, "thanks, mom, but I don't think I will ever be what you want me to be."
"You are already everything that I have dreamed of and more, but you need to do things to make yourself happy, to see the world with those bright blue eyes of yours and conquer it. You were made for great things Kylie, and you will do so many wonderful things in your life."
I sighed as my mind processed everything she had said. "How's the fiancée?" I asked not knowing how to respond to what she had said.
"Oh, he's great. He's getting married to me, so yea, his life is wonderful." She grinned.
"You're too full of yourself."
"I'm not conceited, just awesome." Her arm dropped from being around my shoulder.
"I think you need to have a reality check, maybe start by looking into the mirror." She shoved my arm and chuckled.
"Now there's my daughter, insulting me as usual." She pouted. "I should ask you about your girlfriend, I bet she can't stand you."
"She's not my girlfriend." I giggled as she began to tickle my sides. I fell down on my back on the bed as she continued to tickle me.
"Oh really? I don't think so. Those looks you were giving her would make a nun blush." My eyes widened.
"What? What are... you talking about?"
She stopped tickling me and lied down beside me on her side. "You're attracted to her, it's pretty obvious."
"No, I'm not." I covered my eyes with my hands.
"Um yes, I'm no fool and she pretty much looked at you like you are a bottle of water in the middle of the desert."
"Don't lie, mom, that's not true."
"It is, it is."
"Nah uh, nah uh." She began to tickle my sides again. "Mom!" I yelped as I jumped up in surprise.
"Kylie, Jaclyn, what's going on?" I heard my grandfather yell. I then heard loud footsteps before he appeared in the room panting and with alarmed eyes. "Are you two okay?"
We both looked up at him from our positions on the bed and burst out laughing. He looked at the two of us in amusement and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's so funny?" He furrowed his thick brows and leaned against the door frame.
My mother sat up as the laughter died down, "dad, I want to say that I am sorry for everything that happened if I could change the past I would." She said, sadness laced with her voice, "I just wanted you to know that I know I should have done a better job as a mother." She whispered, I imagined tears were rolling down her cheeks, as I saw tears slipping down my grandfather's eyes as well.
I bit down in the inside of my cheek as my grandfather walked over and took a seat on the bed in front of her, "It's okay darling, I lashed out on you and I am sorry, it was just a lot to take in." He then looked over at me and stretched his hand out for me to take.
"Kylie, I promise you that you are safe now, you don't need to be afraid, and if you have any problems with anyone, tell me and I'll deal with them." I gave him a grateful smile as I felt my eyes begin to water with emotion.
"I love you guys," I whispered before mom pulled me into a hug.
"I love you too baby." My mom said as she kissed my cheek.
◆◆◆
THE NEXT DAY, I left mom still asleep, as I began to get ready for school. It was already 10:00 in the morning but she always loved sleeping in, and since she got a chance to, she made sure to indulge in it.
After I was finished getting ready, I grabbed my satchel and quietly made my way down the steps and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before heading out the door.
There was always a guard on call, one for the day and one for the night shift. I never had a conversation with one of them, they both were more on the side of creepy, by which I meant, they just looked at me as I walked past them.
As I stepped through the gates the guard opened for me, I felt the morning air finally envelop my body. I sighed as I began my journey to school.
Walking towards the Diner where I usually bought smoothies from, I saw someone familiar staring at me. I furrowed my brows trying to place who he was.
He continued to look at me as he gripped his backpack and I stared back at him with annoyed intensity. “Why the staring contest? It's creepy.” I said as I walked past him.
I did not expect him to follow behind me, "y..you said you are gay, right?" He mumbled out making me stop in my tracks and he also stopped before bumping into me.
"A lesbian, yes, why?" I squeezed the unopened bottle of water in my hand. He looked intimidated by me.
"I'm sorry for asking you out the other day, Emily told me that you liked me, I didn't know, I'm sorry." I scanned him, recognizing his dirty blonde hair and remembered the scenario that I had already put at the back of my mind.
"And Emily is?"
"Rude, a junior, thinks she is better than everyone else." Then, my memory clicked again.
"Oh that bitch who can't accept that I am smarter than her?" He nodded before I continued, "but your foolish mistake happened before my disagreement with her, why would she do that?"
He passed his hand through his hair before speaking, "well, you're obviously much hotter and smarter than her so she is intimidated."
"Intimidated, I knew that already, but why? I am definitely not popular nor, so I want to be."
"You're the hottest chick in school right now, all the girls are envious of you." I furrowed my brows and rubbed my temple.
"Great, unwanted attention, thanks for the information but I got to go." I gave him a weak smile before turning and continuing my walk to school before he could have said anything else.
◆◆◆
I RESTED MY HEAD on the desk as Ava conducted an oral quiz with the class, most of them getting the answers wrong. Her eyes ever so often lingered on my face for longer than they were supposed to.
She did not ask me any questions, already knowing that I probably knew the answers since I was the only one who read Hollister's Journey and The Tribulations of an African Slave.
I looked over to Emily, who sat a few seats down my row. Her hair was red and full of curls and the side of her face, which I could see, was covered in too much makeup. I sighed as I closed my eyes.
"The loser is back." I heard someone say as I walked down the corridor, I lowered my gaze to the floor, not in the mood for conflict. "Hey loser, look at me when I talk to you." She spat lifting my chin with her finger harshly. I did not even realize she was so close to me.
"What do you want?" I grumbled, my hot temper rising.
"Hm she still has her spunk," she chuckled before crossing her arms over her chest. "Where were you, I missed you cutie." I gave her a disgusted look.
"It's none of your business, now leave me alone." I spat before pushing her out of the way and continued to walk.
I then felt her grip and pull me by my wrist. "What's up? What made you so grumpy?" I felt the tears sting my eyes as a grin swept across her face, "don't cry." She wiped away a tear with her thumb.
I then gritted my teeth, "just leave me alone." I forced myself out of her grip and quickly walked away.
"Miss Blanckaert, Miss Blanckaert." I shook my head ridding of the trance I was in. I looked up to see Ava in front of me, a frown on her face.
"I... ugh..." I wiped my eyes still a bit half-conscious.
"I hope you don't make falling asleep a habit in my class." She said still standing in front of me.
I swallowed, feeling my body heat up as her captivating grey eyes stared into mine. I never noticed how beautiful her eyes were before, but as I stared back at her noticing the intensity of her stare, I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.
"I won't," I whispered as she arched her brow in question. I pressed my lips together as her eyes did not move from staring intently at me.
"Miss Reese is gonna give her detention." I heard someone whisper from behind me.
I took a deep breath as she spoke, "I want you to mark the register." She said before walking back in front of the class.
I got up and walked over to her desk where the register was placed in front of her chair on the desk. "Anything else I can do for you?" I asked as I took a seat, which gained myself attention from the entire class.
"No nothing else." She said before shifting her gaze away from me. Her tone of voice had dropped and I sensed sadness laced with it. I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I opened the register and grabbed a pen from the stack inside of her desk drawer.
I looked back at her as she began to write on the whiteboard, probably homework or an assignment.
As I called out the names of the students who attended class, I felt a sudden guilt wash over me. ‘Was it because I was being distant that she was sad? Or did I do something wrong? Was it because of my mother?’
Then when I read the name Emily Jennings, the thoughts in my mind stopped for a moment as I looked up at the girl who replied a very sassy 'here.'
I continued to call out the rest of the names on the list and placed a check mark or rarely leaving the space blank for the absent students.
When I was done, I placed the pen back inside of the drawer and closed the register. I let out a heavy sigh as I caught Emily's eyes on me before shifting them away quickly in an attempt for me not to notice.
"Thank you." I heard Ava say standing next to me, "you can go back to your seat now." She said making me stand up and did as told.
As I took my seat, Ava began to speak to the class, "the questions are based off chapter one to ten of Hollister's Journey, and it consists of fifteen percent of your final grade." There were some groans and grumbles from students.
I scanned through the questions and they were very easy, I wondered why to everyone else Literature was so difficult.
The bell then rang, signalling that it was the end of the class. I placed my things in my satchel before getting up, but I stayed still for a moment as I looked at Ava while the other students scampered out of the class.
I sighed as her eyes dropped from mine. I took that as a sign that she wanted to be left alone.
As I made my way out of class and down the corridors, I felt someone’s grip latch on to my wrist. I looked at the person in annoyance as I shoved them away from me.
"Fuck, you are feisty," Emily said taking a step back.
"What do you want?" I asked annoyed.
"Don't be so rude, I'm just trying to have a conversation here." She smirked before placing her hand on my shoulder.
I shoved it off making her stumble backwards. "Do not touch me," I grumbled before I turned a ninety-degree angle and walked off.
Nearing the exit of the school building, two girls stood at the door with their arms crossed over their chests. I arched my brow as they stared at me intently and seriously.
"You thought you could get away that easy?" I heard Emily say from behind me before walking in front of me.
I clenched my fists together, my anger rising at a rapid rate. "Move from me or I'll move you myself." I threatened making a chuckle escape her lips.
"And r
isk getting into an Ivy League school?" She took a few steps closer to me.
"You seem to know a lot about me, obsessed?" She gritted her teeth.
"I just don't like bitches like you thinking you are better than everyone else."
"So you are threatened by me? I am the least of your worries because unlike you, I don't come here to impress anyone." My eyes scanned her from head to toe, with her knock-off leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans, including the push-up bra under her tank top that wanted more attention that it would ever receive.
"Emily, what are you doing?" I heard someone say from beside me.
"Stay out of this Archer." She spat before looking back at me. Her other two friends standing by her side.
"What good is this going to do?"
"I said stay out of it. Go to your soccer practice or something." She crossed her arms over her chest before taking a few more steps closer to me so that our noses were almost touching. “This isn't over.” She said before stepping back and walking off with her two friends.
I grumbled, irritated at how cliché the scenario was. “Are you okay?” He asked making me turn to look at him.
His light green eyes complimented his dark brown hair. "Why wouldn't I be?"
He gave me a smile, "no reason." With that being said, I walked out of the doors of the school and made my way down the concrete steps. "You're gonna leave without saying anything?" He said running behind me.
"What is there to say?" I asked still walking.
"Um, a 'thank you for standing up for me' would be nice." I stopped in my tracks as I allowed him to walk in front of me and stand.
"I handled it myself." I defended, not wanting to admit some jock helped me.
"No one can handle my sister better than me." I arched my brow. "Yes, she is my sister." He said before crossing his arms over his chest. "And believe it or not, I want to be your friend."