Max, however, found himself groaning for another reason.
Chapter 14 - More of the Unexpected
“This house is not for rent.”
Max Ivy to the renters at the door.
Shoring up the means to get a new identity and lifestyle, Rochelle was very grateful to secure Julia Ivy Mallory as a client. First of all, Julia was completely clueless when it came to the normal protocol of hiring and maintaining a working relationship with a wedding planner. Rochelle was able to finance today’s trip to the Caymans and upcoming offshore surgical procedures with the unwritten deposit checks.
The great thing about this line of funding is that it didn’t need to stop with the trip overseas. With the Internet, and some well-placed searches, Rochelle, formerly known as Regina, was able to get a listing number and interior photographs of the beach house that these spoiled rich and pampered people owned. They probably only visit two weeks of the year, anyway.
The next morning, the doorbell rang repeatedly. This time, Cyrus was able to answer the door.
“Hello, we aren’t expecting guests. Who may I ask is calling?” Cyrus inquired.
At the doorstep was a very perplexed couple. “Hi,” Dr. Cornea put out his hand, “I’m Dave and this is my wife, Sheryl. We have the place for the week. The whole house I was told.”
As Max walked to where the visitors were arriving, he realized that there was a mistake.
“I’m sorry, you must have written down the wrong address. This house is not rented out, but many on the island are,” Max explained.
Dr. Cornea put down his bags, and took out a computer printout. Pointing to the address and the map, and showing the receipt for the rental fee, he said, “Stop pulling my chain. Is this some kind of April fools-in-July joke? Aren’t you that guy from TV? Are we being scammed?”
Max took a look at the papers, and said, “You aren’t an eye doctor, are you?”
“No,” the quiet Mrs. Cornea replied, “He’s a veterinarian. I, however, am an attorney. I’m prepared to file a lawsuit if you don’t let us in. We had a long car trip from New York and I have to pee. Please find someplace to put these bags unless you want us to call the police.”
Max, for the second time in as many days was asked to carry bags, and wondered where Cyrus sulked off to this time. He realized that his henchman had been behaving rather oddly the last few days. With Isabella in a dither, too, and the shore house being up to the roof in professionals, it didn’t seem like anything could get worse. And then, it did.
After Max brought the bags up to the fourth wing of the house, Max was grateful that the home was so palatial.
Cyrus returned, with his laptop computer in hand. “I’ve been checking out this rental scam, and the vet is right, he did put down a deposit. The scam was originated in the Caymans by someone posing as Julia. I have some friends with Interpol who are pursuing the lead as a favor for me. But, man, it looks like your sister is being scammed by a professional. Can you ask her if she knows anyone named Richie Scorcher?”
“Oh, and boss, the weather channel is saying that the storm is heading our way earlier than expected,” Cyrus reported. “We may want to board up the place early, with there being so many glass surfaces.”
Max went to find Julia in the breakfast room, asking Ruth for her mushroom and sun dried tomato quiche recipe.
While the name Richie did not ring any bells, Julia identified the last name as belonging to the wedding planner hired to make Charlene the most talked about bride of the Main Line.
As the wind started picking up, the Cornea family retired to their room for the night. They had been contacted by Interpol and apprised of the scam situation, and realized that they were unwitting victims. While they had hoped to have a whole estate to themselves, they recognized that at that price, it was probably too good to be true. They reconciled themselves to the hospitality of a rich Hollywood star with friends, which included a caterer. With gourmet meals by Ruth, and a future rife with possible litigation with this Richie person, they enjoyed the bay view, despite the storm clouds rolling in.
Marissa, however, started to feel mild contractions. Ruth and Julia offered to help time them, and to keep her well-hydrated. The contractions started to come more rapidly, firing at one every six minutes.
Her doctor’s instructions had been to call the hospital when the contractions were less than five minutes apart, but, she was traveling. She decided to ask Isabella to call the closest hospital to ask the doctors what she should do.
While Isabella was on the phone trying to dial the hospital, Marissa let out a loud, blood-curdling scream! “She’s coming; I can feel her head pressing down on me!”
Isabella was trying to decide whether to call for an ambulance, or just bring Marissa over to the hospital herself. Then she remembered that Max’s vehicle didn’t have any doors.
At that point, Max decided to rouse Dr. Cornea from his sleep.
As the sound of the loud wind mingled with the nearing sounds of the ambulance, a scrubbed up Dr. Cornea came down the steps while his wife came down with a pile of towels.
Cyrus, at the urging of Marissa, used his computer to track down a surprised Sid. While across the Atlantic, he quickly connected through Skype to communicate with his heavily laboring wife.
“Just a few pushes,” said an experienced Dr. Cornea. “I’ve delivered many, many kids, but this will be the first human one,” he quipped.
As the cries of a newborn baby came forth, Dr. Dave’s wife rushed forward with the towels and cleaned off the infant.
“Let’s call her Ivy,” said Sid from “across the pond”. Ivy raised her little fists in protest and wailed loudly.
Max watched how enthralled Isabella was with the whole upbeat and happy mood of the surprise early arrival of a gloriously perfect and adorable specimen.
As the baby gently snuggled against her mother’s breasts and took her first drinks, a quiet calm descended over the room.
The EMTs finally arrived to take Marissa and the baby to Atlantic Hospital. Jade grabbed Marissa’s hospital bag from the trunk of her car.
Then the wind and rain started to pick up considerably outside. Suddenly, one of the EMTs came in from outside, drenched from head to toe.
“We have been advised that everyone needs to shelter in place until after the storm has subsided,” he said.
Chapter 15 - Ivy in the Storm
“Why do something yourself when it can be delegated?”
Julia Ivy Mallory to her daughter, Charlene
While the hurricane had been downgraded to a tropical storm, there was still a need to stay indoors through the rest of the night until the weather advisory was lifted.
Isabella was unable to sleep. All the emotions from observing a real live birth, plus her pool game with Max, had her keyed up.
She was wearing one of the cute nighties that Marissa had passed along to her, covered by her pink flannel robe. It was chilly, and she tied the comfortable fabric tight at her waist.
As she entered the kitchen hoping for a midnight snack, she noticed she wasn’t alone. Max was there eating grapes and slices of cheese with crackers. He was wearing dark green monogrammed pajamas and fleece slippers.
“Isabella, care for a snack?” Max asked.
“Sure,” she replied. “By the way, I need to apologize for my recent behavior.”
“It’s okay, I’m sure I did something to deserve it.” Max replied, “I can be a knucklehead sometimes. May I ask what got you so annoyed?”
“It was what Charlene said on the phone….it is just that I feel so, I guess the word is “belittled,” by your dad. I am just fed up with being second fiddle to you rich estate people. I have a lot to offer this world, a whole lot of God-given talents,” Isabella tried to explain.
“Yeah, my dad is a total snob. But, Isabella,” Max urged, “I’m not like that, and neither is Charlene.”
“Well, it is also that Charlene said that we are dating, and I d
on’t date anymore,” Isabella explained, with sadness in her voice.
“Well, Isabella, whatever you want to call it, I do like you,” Max put a comforting hand around her shoulder and brought her in for a hug. “And, I’d like to get to know you better. And, yes, I would like to date you.”
“Well, I’m also kind of confused. There are things you need to know about me if we are,” Isabella’s voice was shaky, “if we are dating. I’m a virgin. I plan on waiting until I’m married,” Isabella revealed. She was expecting to get the jilt, as so often happened when she shared this news.
Isabella had been on hundreds of first dates. She was beautiful, friendly, and most guys drooled at the thought of going out with her. But, when they found out that she wore, what was in essence, a non-material chastity belt, they quickly moved on. There was one guy who didn’t believe her, and thought she was just a tease. After having kicked him where it hurt, she decided that all men were after one thing and that she would become a nun.
“I guess this is where you say that it was nice knowing you,” said Isabella.
“Huh? I was just thinking about how unusual it is that you have saved yourself for marriage. That is so uncommon. But, you are a treasure, rare and beautiful. I kind of like the idea that you are treating yourself that way.”
Max looked deeply into Isabella’s eyes. “But, I am not going to lie and say that this isn’t going to be a challenge for me.”
“See, that is what I mean. All men are looking for just one thing. You think what I am saying is a challenge. You are going to try to seduce me…and, from the looks of it, seduce me with food. But I have to say that I am not seducible. Others have tried and failed,” Isabella explained with a coy smile on her face.
“Isabella, I’m not other men.” Max looked at her, taking her hand, and kissing it gently. “I have been around all kinds of depravity. Women are throwing themselves at me because I’m the newest celebrity. They send me their perfumed panties - it is disgusting. If waiting is what I have to do to be with a normal, sane, nice girl, then wait is what I will do. Let’s just take things one day at a time.”
Max, knowing that patience was a virtue of which he had very little, knew that this would be difficult. But life without Isabella looked bleak and abysmal. He would take his chances with frustration, cold showers, and whatever else was in store. For now, he would enjoy a refreshing snack with a beautiful girl, as the wind howled outside.
Chapter 16 - The Abduction
“You’re getting too Type-A, you need to settle your soul.”
Isabella upon “man-napping” Max
Max could not forget about the intimate kisses in the billiards room at Long Beach Island. He craved more time to get to know Isabella. He knew, however, that she was still seething from the unkind note from his father.
Oh, how Max wanted to give his father a piece of his mind!
However, he knew this needed to be done face-to-face. It had been almost ten days since he had seen Harrison Alexander Ivy, who was consumed by an overseas project and leaving very early in the morning for his office in Center City. Harrison was eating dinner at the Republic Club, the stalwart politically oriented stuffy old patrician gathering place in the city.
It was five in the morning, and Max was still thinking of Isabella. He was supposed to be getting ready to go for a “guy’s day” with Jimmy, to get to know his soon-to-be nephew-in-law. Sporting a baseball cap, t-shirt, jeans, and waterproof mud-boots, Max was told to dress for a day of fishing on the Delaware River. This explained the early morning departure time. They were also going rock climbing at a gym, and to a Triple-A baseball game.
Max was pleasantly surprised to see Isabella drive up in a pickup truck. He thought about teasing her about girls driving trucks, but, realized that he was better off keeping his mouth shut. That was the sort of joke that made him feel superior to others, but in reality diminished him in other people’s eyes.
“Did Jimmy send you to pick me up for fishing?” Max asked.
“No, I am abducting you.” Isabella replied with a sly smile.
“Pardon me?” Max asked. “Am I dreaming?”
“You won’t feel that way when you find out where we’re going.” Isabella replied.
Once they were both inside the truck, Isabella explained everything. The “guy’s day” was a ruse; Jimmy was in on the abduction. This was because she won the bet and now they were “doing things her way.”
“Now, get that smile off your face. It isn’t that sort of abduction, and it isn’t that kind of having my way.” Isabella said.
The truck was needed as they traveled to the borough of Narberth for the annual Rummage Pilgrimage. On this one day each summer, residents left out all sorts of usable rubbish, from baby carriages to baby grand pianos.
Isabella asked Max to be on the lookout for anything usable in a garden or playground. They found several trellises for climbing plants, and a plaque that said, “There’s no place like home.”
When they were out of earshot from the “Narbs” – as he used to call them in his school years, Max asked, “And why are we picking through other people’s garbage?”
“One, we need to stay on-budget for Charlene’s garden, and there is no budget, so this is how we get something for nothing. Two, these nice items will look terrific in her garden and make it homey. Three, we are saving these items from ending up in the landfill.”
“Oh, is this about that whole sustainability thing?” Max asked. “I guess these things are kind of cute, but it isn’t like we can get any of our big-ticket items this way.”
Thinking that their homage to shabby chic was over with mere “dumpster diving” at the sustainability pilgrimage, Max was dreaming about taking a cool dip in the pool at the Main Line estate.
Isabella, however, had other ideas.
As she drove the Albero Landscaping pickup truck west on Route 30, Isabella thought about how to best introduce the next destination to an unsuspecting Max.
“You need some buggy time,” Isabella said to Max.
“Huh?” Max asked, “What’s that?”
“You’ll see,” Isabella hinted, as she exited and got on the Route 30 bypass, heading towards Lancaster.
After a half-hour or so of driving, she skirted the highway and started taking some country roads through beautiful, rural scenery. The farms were large and old-fashioned, with laundry hanging from the lines in a variety of sizes and solid colors. The towns along Old Philadelphia Pike had corny, homespun names like “Bird-in-Hand” and “Intercourse.”
Just as he was about to ask her if they were going to a farm, a carriage led by two brown mares appeared coming out of the driveway of the farm in the distance. In no time at all, the truck caught up with the buggy, which was moving along at a snail’s pace.
“Let’s see how long you can take it,” Isabella said. “We’ll call this a test of your patience. Whoever loses their patience first buys the other an ice cream.”
Max, not one to lose a bet, imagined that the dairy farms in Lancaster County created the finest ice cream imaginable. He never complained, not once, about being stuck behind a buggy. They made it to the creamery in town, and Isabella, impressed, bought two scoops of his favorite flavor. She skipped on the ice cream, though. She wanted to look fit in the mint-colored bridesmaid’s dress she would be wearing for Charlene’s wedding. She was hoping that everything would go off without a hitch; there were just three weeks to go.
As Max and Isabella returned from Lancaster County, his cell phone rang. This time, he didn’t put Charlene on speaker right away. “You’re with Isabella,” his niece said, “put me on speaker.”
“Max, I want to ask you something. Since you are my favorite uncle in the world, will you walk me down the aisle?” Charlene asked.
Charlene explained that her father, Julia’s first husband, Dr. Evan Mallory, would be unable to attend the wedding or walk his daughter down the aisle. He was expected to act as birthing coach for the
birth of his second son from his third wife at her scheduled induced delivery.
Max was more than happy to do this. He knew that Isabella was doing a reading at the wedding, as well as serving as a bridesmaid.
As they drove past Lancaster County, Max saw more farmland and a sign that read “Berks County.” Isabella backed the truck into an industrial-looking brick building with the name “Deluca Pavers” on the outside of the building. A six-foot ten, bald man came to meet her at the truck.
“Is Manny around?” she asked.
“No, he’s freaking out today. Regina left for one of her plastic surgeries and didn’t leave a note. He thinks she might have driven over a bridge or something. Poor guy, he’s totally head over heels for her.”
Prune, Plant, or Plunder? Page 8