“All wives should be so lucky. Husbands should be devoted. I’m sure she’ll be back really soon; she always is. Anyway, I heard that there is a pile of rejected fieldstone; I’m working on a garden and could use some.”
“Sure, Isabella. We’ve got that in the back. You should have told me ahead of time, I would have had my driver load them up for you. As it is, he’s working on the new supermarket complex. Did you hear about the project? We got the winning bid. I’d help out, but, you know, my back and all.”
“Oh, that’s OK. I brought some muscle here with me. Max, say ‘Hello’ to the nice paver man. Mike, just show us where the fieldstone is. Max and I will carry it out to the truck.”
Once back on the road, Isabella called Jimmy on the cell to find out if the “coast was clear.” He replied that Charlene was still visiting with her father and his new family, and she could drop the stones off. He had cleared space behind the compost pile for the stones, and they could drop them off and cover them with a tarp. If Charlene asked, he would make up a story about why the tarp was there. This garden would be kept a secret. Everything was going really well, except for Max, who realized that he would need to carry the stones to the back of the yard.
Max was bone tired by the time he arrived back at the Main Line estate. Wishing for a dip in the pool, or, at least a warm bath, he was agitated when Isabella said that he needed to make it quick. He would have to change his clothes, and then he would be making a public appearance at St. Agatha’s.
“We’re going to need to ask Cyrus to man up and make it to this shindig,” Isabella explained. “He said he’d be ready to go at five, but I don’t see him.”
“Cyrus was in on this abduction?” Max asked incredulously.
“Sure. The rummage sale was his idea; they do something like that out in California where he’s from…he thought it would give you a more global perspective.”
“But, Isabella, I need to…” Just as he was about to give a whole bunch of reasons why he needed a backrub and not a church carnival, he saw a squad car drive up.
As detective McGovern got out of her squad car, she took a look at Max and said, “I am here representing the Lower Main Line Police. We have a warrant for the arrest of Julia Ivy on the charges of,” she looks down at the warrant in her hands, “grand larceny.”
As the detective rang the doorbell to the Ivy mansion, Cyrus walked up to Isabella and Max.
“Sorry I’m late,” Cyrus said, “Julia has been getting lots of calls about bounced checks from her wedding deposits, and she asked me to look into things for her. It sounds like someone’s taking her to the cleaners.”
The checks to the reception site, caterer, and even tuition for Lacey’s camp all bounced. Julia had given Lacey the camp experience as both a gift, and, as a way of acceptance that, yes, she was going to be a grandmother.
At that moment, Julia came out of the mansion in handcuffs. “Please call Uncle Spencer; he’ll know what to do,” she called out to Max.
“Isabella, I am sorry to beg off on the carnival, but I think my sister really needs me.”
“But Max, I signed you up for the dunk tank, and they’re charging $20 a dunk. We’re really counting on you to get a new air conditioner for the gym, the children get really hot at summer camp, and the CYO kids…”
“Ah, Isabella, my sister was just led away in handcuffs, perhaps you could find another dunkee.”
Isabella was adamant. “No way, who else is going to command a $20 a dunk fee? The nonnas are probably lined up around the block.”
“Max, we need to go now to St. Agatha’s, those kids are depending on you. I’ll take the Hummer; we’ll be there in no time at all. You can call your uncle along the way,” said Cyrus.
“Isabella, perhaps you could go to the police station to see if there is anything else we can do for Julia.”
“Cyrus, do you work for me or for her?” asked Max, feeling rather double-crossed.
“Well, boss, a bet is a bet.” Cyrus answered.
Chapter 17 - The Incarceration
“I’m having a bad hair day, so can we hurry this up?”
Julia when having her rights read to her at the Ivy compound.
Julia was sure that this was just an accounting error, so she was not in the least bit upset. In addition, she knew that the Ivy name carried a lot of weight in the township.
Isabella went back to her place to take a quick shower and change into more suitable attire. She arrived at the police station, hoping that there was something she could do to help Julia.
As she waited in the seating area for a chance to ask if she could visit, she saw a distinguished gentleman who looked like he was a high-powered attorney.
“Oh, hi Flynn,” Isabella said. “I haven’t seen you since your oldest daughter’s Baptism. How is she doing? I was wondering if I could visit with Julia Ivy, she was just arrested. I’m a friend of the family.”
“Well, officially, no. But, unofficially, I am supposed to do anything that she asks barring giving her a nail file and the key to the cell. Some Phillies box tickets are riding on it, and they may even be in the post-season if we have a good year. Her attorney is here waiting. Julia said that she needs an hour of meditation to ‘clear her karma,’ but you are welcome to come back after that.”
“Hello, I’m Julia’s attorney,” the gentleman said as he extended his hand. “Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee across the street?”
They walked to the diner and he ordered coffee. She asked for a cup of orange juice.
“I knew your mother; I was a fan of hers, and you look just like her.”
“My mother was a seamstress; you must have her mistaken with someone else, unless you are a fan of finely tailored clothing.”
“Yes, that’s it. Miss, what did you say your first name is?”
“I’m Isabella Albero, and what is your name?”
“I’m Spencer Ivy, brother to Harrison. I’m Julia’s uncle. Do you have any idea how she could have gotten herself in this predicament?
“Well, I have heard that Julia likes to delegate. Max once said she would have their nanny spread her toothpaste on the toothbrush, you know what I mean. Maybe someone who works for her messed up on their accounting.”
“Grand larceny involves very large sums of money; it isn’t just a check or two bouncing. The Ivy name holds a lot of clout around here, and, we can probably keep this out of the papers and off her record if we can figure out who did it. The name Albero sounds familiar, though. Oh, yes, that’s the last name of the young man who is marrying Charlene. I couldn’t make it to the engagement party because I was out of the country. You sure are the spitting image of your mother; does anybody else ever tell you that?”
“Sometimes people say that. I think it is a compliment…she was so beautiful. I miss her a lot. It is nice of you to remember your brother’s gardener’s wife.”
Spencer took a deep breath and seemed distracted. “Indeed. Well, we must get back to this case. My son will be meeting us shortly to help with the investigation. Once we get to talk with Julia, it is critical that we discover the identity of the person who floated these wedding checks.”
“Oh, I am sorry, I didn’t realize this was connected to Charlene’s wedding,” said Isabella. “Of course, there was a wedding planner; I think her name was Rochelle. I never met her, but I hear she is a bleach-blond with big silicone lips and a Barbie-doll look.”
“Sounds like the possible culprit. Oh, here’s my son, now. Isabella Albero, meet Maximilian Bell Ivy.”
An equally distinguished man, about 30 years old, shook her hand.
“I know, I know, you are wondering about the name. Maximilian was a popular name and my father and his brother both picked the name for their sons. Of course, at the time, neither realized that one was going to be a celebrity, and the other just a mere county barrister.”
“Excuse me, son, but enough chit chat. We all get that you share a name with the other Max. N
ow, this issue is that Julia is in jail. We suspect her wedding planner, hired to plan for Charlene’s wedding, of siphoning funds and floating bad checks.”
“Father, excuse me, but grand larceny indicates a very large sum of money. Surely Julia would not have trusted just anyone with her check book.”
When they were finally able to see Julia at the station, it was clear that she had done just that.
As the scope of Rochelle’s scheme came to light, Julia realized that she needed to rethink her dedication to delegation.
As all of this commotion was going on at the police station, Charlene was in blissful ignorance. She returned from her trip to Northern New Jersey in a fit of excitement about her upcoming wedding.
She dreamed about the wedding that she had so carefully planned. She wasn’t the type for ice-sculptures or princess tiaras. She was into simple elegance carved out of genuine love and commitment.
When she arrived home, she saw a drenched Max, looking like he had just been chased by a pack of wolves.
“Max, I’ve never seen you looking like a drowned rat. What’s going on?”
“Isabella twisted his arm to get him to do the dunk tank at the church,” Jimmy explained. But upon seeing the serious expression on Max’s face, he quieted down. “What’s going on?”
As Max explained where Julia was and why, he saw the crestfallen expression on his niece’s face. She was going to have to put on a brave front for her husband.
“Is my mother okay? Has she called Uncle Spencer and the other Max?”
“There’s another Max?” Cyrus inquired.
Chapter 18 - The Warning
“It took a lot of time to extricate myself from that mistake, and it took a big chunk of my fortune, too.”
Spencer Ivy to his niece, Julia
Spencer asked to speak to his client in private.
“Julia, my dear niece, maybe this was all for the best.”
“Well, granted, there are worse places to be, like, for example, a landfill…”
“No, I mean about the wedding. I think it might be providential that the wedding couldn’t possibly happen now that the deposits have bounced.” Spencer took a pause, and then calmly explained.
“Julia, you were too young to really understand what happened when I got together with Candace. She was just a silly auntie to you, and you never saw the bitter, vindictive side of her. Well, she dazzled us all at the beginning, me in particular.”
Spencer then went on to describe his disastrous first marriage.
“The fact that a wonderful child came out of the carnage, well that was the saving grace of the whole decade. It took a lot of time to extricate myself from that mistake, and it took a big chunk of my fortune, too,” said Spencer.
“What I am saying is that you might want to chalk this whole Albero thing off as a starter marriage, as a quick prelude to a more suitable relationship for Charlene. However, it isn’t always so easy.”
“Well, James is a very nice young man,” said Julia. “He isn’t at all like Candace. She was after your money, and willing to do anything to get it. Mother told me that Candace tricked you into getting her pregnant, and that is what a vixen does. She has told Max that story a million times, so that he doesn’t “fall prey” to that kind of scheme. I know the whole story, but what does that have to do with Jimmy. He’s a bit of a nebbish, I’ll grant you that, but hardly a gold digger. Plus, he’s gainfully employed, and in this economy, that’s something. Aren’t we supposed to be talking about my case? I’m here rotting away in jail while you reminisce about times long gone.”
“But, dear niece, if someone had just stopped me before things got serious with Candace. There are ways that we can keep the ones we love from making mistakes. If only my brother had told me the doubts that he had about her…”
“Well, Uncle Spencer, if I ever make my way out of the cold dark cell that I’m currently calling “home,” I promise to give that some good, long thought. Now, back to my case…”
“Well, of course. But, first, I must give you a word of wisdom about the Albero crew. Don’t trust them. They are a dysfunctional bunch, there’s all kinds of drug abuse and scandal in their past. He’s got an aunt who…”
“Oh, really?” she admonished. ”Almost every family around has a relative who has faced addiction, and it is a disease like any other. Please - this is every family in America, for goodness sakes! Look at the Betty Ford Clinic; it was named after a former first lady. When and if you dig up something truly juicy on James, let me know. Until then, can we please discuss my incarceration, or I will hire another attorney!”
“You can’t afford another attorney, dear niece. So you need to consider my words wisely. I cannot and will not allow another disastrous arrangement in this family,” warned Spencer.
“Isn’t it Charlene you should be discussing this with? I’m not her keeper.”
“I intend to do just that, after we get you safely out of jail,” he said.
Chapter 19 - A Decision
“Maybe it is my turn to abduct someone?”
Jimmy expressing his desire to abscond with his fiancé
“Maybe this means it’s my turn to abduct someone?” Jimmy said.
“Pardon me?” Max inquired.
“Not you. I love you like a brother, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve been kidnapped enough today. No, it is your delightful niece, Charlene. I want to marry her right away. Char, how about it, want to take a car trip to Elkton, Maryland tonight?”
“If they aren’t open 24 / 7, there’s always a plane trip to Vegas,” Cyrus offered, ever in a West Coast mentality.
“I’m not going to let this Rochelle woman mess up my wedding plans. Maybe the sites will honor our commitments,” said Charlene.
“No can do. They won’t stay in business if they allow that. But, if we’re lucky, we’ll get them to drop the charges, so Julia can be done with this mess. It’s Francois that is the most strident in his charges, he feels taken advantage of,” replied Jimmy.
Charlene was nervous. “Oh, how I had to beg Francois to do this for me! He kept telling me it is so unusual, and out of the ordinary. “Francois doesn’t cater,’ he kept saying. I was just so persistent. Oh, Francois…What will I do?”
“I’m sure your parents would be happy to allow you to have a wedding ceremony at your house, and Ruth Abrams would probably cater for you if you ask,” Isabella said, reassuringly.
“Oh, then it will always be the Ivy wedding instead of the Albero wedding, that’s exactly what I didn’t want.” Charlene said.
“Oh, what a happy problem!” said Cyrus. “You two love each other, you want to get married, and you’ll find a way.”
Just then, Julia walked in. “I’m free! Francois dropped the charges and so did the rest. Between you and me, I think father offered him box tickets if the Eagles make it to the Superbowl.”
“Ah, the wheels of justice moving extra fast for the jet set, got to love the Main Line.” Isabella said.
“Listen, I’m home, but we have a problem. Uncle Spencer is bent on breaking you two up, Jimmy and Charlene. He is coming to try to talk Charlene out of it. He says he has some sort of proof that the Albero family is a bunch of no-good con artists, or something like that. I just sort of tuned him out when he got all bent out of shape. But, we really should try to get this show on the road before he gets here.”
“Show on the road, Mom. Whatever do you mean?” asked Charlene.
“Well, you are going to elope, aren’t you? It will be so romantic, I just can’t wait to tell my friends!”
“Why the rush, mother? You know I can hold my own against Uncle Spencer.” Charlene replied.
“Once the news spreads that you have eloped, there won’t be any gossip about the lost funds, missing deposit money, or anything like that. All the wedding details will be wiped clean with a simple phrase, ‘They eloped!’” Julia explained.
“Well, that decides it, then.” Jimmy responded. “We m
ust do this for the sake of your mother, her reputation, and my sanity.”
“Uncle Spencer will probably just follow along to Elkton, he’s no fool. That’s where he and Candace got married three decades ago, by the way,” said Julia.
Cyrus and Max started to converse quietly, and then when they agreed upon the course of action, they explained their discussion.
“We are going to do a simple fake out. It happens all the time in Hollywood. Celebrity rides in one car to real destination, and look-alike decoy goes to another place to get the paparazzi off course.” Max explains.
Prune, Plant, or Plunder? Page 9