Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon)

by Buhr, Chrissie

  Jason's order is holding him back. He wasn't going to touch me this morning, Sadie assured her.

  You read him? Billie asked, a little taken back.

  He was practically yelling his thoughts at me. I couldn't block him out, she admitted. I'm sorry.

  Don't apologize, love. You are who you are, and we shouldn't expect you to be anyone else. Billie flashed back to the conversation with Kato. Kathryn's here with me. We'd like to take you out this afternoon. Amy too if she's free. Want to run with us?

  Yeah! I'd love that, Sadie exclaimed at the unexpected turn in her afternoon. She'd run with Billie, but no one else.

  Come on over. Kathryn's calling Amy now.

  I'll be right there.

  Billie stood as Kathryn ended her call to Amy. She'd followed Kathryn's conversation and didn't have to ask. Amy bubbled at the idea of running with Sadie, and she wanted to invite a few others. “I'd hoped Kato would join us. I want Sadie to meet him,” Billie mused.

  “Kato, like his brother, has a keen sense of timing. They'll meet when it's most advantageous.”

  “You're probably right. Your mate was a lot like Kato?”

  She smiled, her eyes luminous and sorrowful. “I see much of Sanyu in him. They are more than just identical twins. They share their spirit. Sanyu described themselves once as a single soul divided in half. Each half was raised to wholeness. Together they were in perfect harmony and amplified into a single being of unusual power. He always referred to Kato and himself as one being not two. I thought I would die when Sanyu left this world. I cannot imagine what that must have been for Kato.”

  Billie shivered at the thought of losing her mate. “How did he die?”

  “Like Kato, Sanyu had visions of the future. If he believed something should be changed and he had the power to do so, he acted. Sometimes he left for weeks at a time as he altered the course of events. One day he rose from meditation and sought me out. He told me he'd foreseen great suffering in one of the cities and he must go to them. He made love to me and said goodbye. Only later I realized he knew he would not return. Our Grandson, Kibuuka, shared his vision and left with him. Of all my descendants, only Kibuuka chose to be Wolf. He was much like his grandfather.

  “They died in the Tulsa Race Riots on June 1, 1921. To this day I do not know how they spent their final days nor how they lost their lives.” A tear fell from Kathryn's cheek. “Kibuuka's wife left us shortly after, taking their young daughter with her. I never heard from them again. The child conceived during our last day together couldn't thrive in the misery. I miscarried and have been unable to conceive since. No family should have to suffer that much darkness in such a short space in time. The light in our family went out for many years.”

  Billie couldn't help the tears that sprung up in her eyes. “Gods, Kathryn. I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Do you have any family left from that time?”

  She smiled, and the shadows faded to near extinction. “Leroy, the silversmith you met in Idaho City, is my Great-Great-Great Grandson. He is the only grandchild who knows who and what I am.”

  Billie remembered the charming artist. “No wonder you don't talk about that time in your life.”

  “My grandchildren left home to start their own lives and families. They needed to start over and shake the dust of Wolves from their boots. Before long only my daughter, her Wolf husband, and I remained in the pack. When she died, only emptiness remained for me there. I left to seek out Sanyu's brother's Pack and found a new mate as well. My new life began here in this Pack with Richard, and I am happy here. The sorrows of the other life will only follow if I invite them.”

  “Thank you for telling me. I'm dumbstruck that you were part of the Underground Railroad. You're one of my heroes.” Billie beamed at her friend, who lowered her eyes in uncharacteristic embarrassment.

  “I would appreciate your discretion with the others. I do not want a barrage of questions. Too many secrets are being kept from your mate already, so tell Sadie my story if you wish.”

  “I won't repeat it to anyone except Sadie. She’ll love it. Kato said something. ‘There is no benefit to adding more at this time.’ What did he mean?”

  A weight seemed to descend on Kathryn and she shook her head. “Kato is right. I will tell you in time, but not today.”

  Billie accepted her answer but remained curious. “I'm going to change out of this suit before the others get here.” She cocked her head slightly. “Sadie's almost here.”

  “You always sense where and how she is, don't you?” Kathryn enquired.

  “Most of the time. She withdraws into herself at times, and then I can't sense her. She's doing it more lately. I don't think she's doing as well as she pretends. I'm concerned about her.”

  “She's strong, darling. And she has you.” Billie nodded, still concerned.

  * * *

  I wasted no time returning to Billie's home, changing into hiking clothes and grabbing a canteen on my way out. I'd only seen Billie and Kato's wolf forms, and the idea of being surrounded by wolves thrilled me. I nearly exploded with excitement at the invitation to run.

  Kathryn greeted me with her usual warm affection as I trotted through Billie's front door. “Good morning again, my dear. I give no apology for my husband's behavior earlier. His actions are his own and not mine. I am, however, sorry you are being ill-treated. Billie's changing out of her suit. She'll be right down.”

  I laughed at her words, and she cocked her head in question. I tried to explain my amusement. “I love the way you look at things, Kathryn. I used to think I'd seen it all when it comes to people, and I've never met anyone like you before.”

  She smiled, and we moved to the kitchen to gather supplies. “Time changes our perception of the world, and I've had a great deal of time in this life.”

  “How much time?” I asked, imagining the delight on Amy's face if I could find that particular answer for her.

  “Many more years than Amy has yet guessed,” she answered conspiratorially, “I enjoy her persistence and would like it to continue.”

  “Intriguing. What if I promise to torment her instead of telling her?” I offered.

  “That would also be enjoyable.” Kathryn smiled. “In December I will celebrate my 163rd birthday.”

  I whistled. “Wow! I don't think I can wrap my brain around that.”

  “Wait 'til you hear the rest of the story.” Billie's sinewy form came into view, wearing simple jeans and a T-shirt. She crossed the room and enveloped me in a hug. “I'll tell you later. I hear Jazz's car.”

  In moments a tall dark-haired woman walked in the door. She appeared no older than me, and of course she felt much older. Despite her plain haircut and lack of effort towards her appearance, she was beautiful. She had a friendly but no nonsense air about her and seemed vaguely familiar. “You must be Sadie. I'm Jazlene, but everyone calls me Jazz.”

  “Hi. Nice to meet you.” I took her extended hand.

  “Gary's at work, of course, or he would have joined us.”

  “Gary...”

  “My husband. He asked about you. He would have visited, but his sister is having a difficult time right now, and he's had his hands full.”

  The familiarity clicked, and I gasped. “Gary from my crew at the warehouse is your husband. Billie mentioned a connection, but she didn't say who he was. Tell him I said hi.”

  “I will. He's been complaining about your replacement. Can I tell him when you'll be back to work?”

  “Soon, I think.” I thought about it and realized I felt ready. “One more day off, and I'll be ready to jump back into it.”

  “Your face is still bruised. How will you explain that?” I bit my lower lip and cringed that I’d forgotten to hide them before leaving the house. I projected an image of my face without the bruises. “How do you do this?” She came closer and inspected my face on every side.

  “It's like creating a mirror of what I want people to see instead of what's actually there,” I explained b
adly.

  She laughed. “I'll take your word for it. You can keep this going all day?”

  “I held it for five years as a teenager hiding my zits.”

  Just then Amy opened the front door and woohoo'd her arrival with John on her arm. “Hiya Jazz!” She threw an arm around her tall friend. “Sadie, this is John. Oh, wow! You healed up quick. How’d you manage that?” Jazz covered her mouth with her hand. “What's funny?”

  I removed the projected image, and when Amy looked from Jazz back to me she gasped. “Holy Mage-moly!” The previously unmarred face was covered in deep bruises well into the healing process. “Do it again!” She sounded like a five-year-old at the circus.

  I obliged, transforming my face into the bruise-less version so she could inspect it just like Jazz. Enjoying myself, I added a parrot to my shoulder just as she came in for a closer look. She yelped and jumped backwards into a comical fighting stance. The room burst with laughter.

  Amy laughed too, then sobered. “Did any of you know Mages can do that? 'Cause I sure didn't.”

  Kathryn spoke. “I have heard Mages can spin illusions, but I have never seen it.”

  John spoke up for the first time, his tone even and careful. He controlled his fear of me, but I could feel it. “You wouldn't know if you did.”

  “Do you smell the parrot?” I asked him, knowing the answer.

  Amy's nose twitched while the others sniffed without appearing to. “No.”

  “The mirror only works well with vision. Audio works but not completely.” I hesitated to say the next part. “I can't mimic smells without meddling in your brain. I don’t know why. I explored this ability when I was a teenager.”

  John involuntarily leaned away from me. Jazz exhibited cautious curiosity. “This isn't affecting our minds?”

  I shook my head. “No. It's more like an echo. I'm not changing what you're thinking at all.”

  Billie expounded. “I have a theory. When we sense a Mage we're sensing their coercive power not the race. That's why Sadie feels like a Sensitive most of the time. If we aren't sensing Mage, she's not changing our thoughts.”

  “Your theory may be right,” I nodded but added soberly. “But I don't think it’s that simple. I could make you forget sensing Mage if I wanted.”

  Jazz raised her eyebrows. “She's honest.”

  “You deserve to know,” I admitted uncomfortably. “I don't do that kind of thing.”

  Amy jumped into the conversation. “There's got to be a way we can protect ourselves. Sadie is our key to figuring it out! She can help us train against Invading Mages so that none of us ever lose a packmate to them again.”

  “Gladly.” I smiled, thinking about Nathan and holding the thought tight behind my barriers.

  Jazz cocked her head in a manner I was starting to recognize as wolfishly curious. “You're okay with helping us fight against your people?”

  “I've always been curious about my biological family, but I've never met them. I've never even talked to a Mage. Billie is my family, and anyone important to her is important to me.” My voice hardened. “Besides, we don't know that all Mages collar wolves. Maybe only some do and others choose not to use it. Anyone who's willing to do that is not someone I want to be related to. I like being able to read people, but I wish I couldn't control them. I can't get rid of it, but I can choose not to use it.” I hadn’t meant it to come out harshly, but I hadn’t had a chance to vent about Nathan.

  John and Jazz were stunned at my response. “Amy was right about you.”

  “Of course I'm right. I'm always right! Just ask anyone who's ever called me arrogant.” She turned her nose up in mock conceit.

  With a lighter mood, we gathered supplies and piled into Jazz's SUV. She asked where to, and Kathryn suggested Cottonwood Creek. Billie glanced sideways. “I know we were just there, but it is close and yet away from Humans. We'll have a good run and be home by evening. I am expected at the dance studio tomorrow.”

  I sat in the front seat and took the opportunity to talk to Jazz. “When I told Gary about my date with Billie, did he know who I was talking about?”

  “He suspected. How many redheaded lesbian accountants could there be among Boise’s law firms? He asked me that night, so I texted Billie and confirmed it.” Her eyes sparkled conspiratorially.

  I shook my head. “I had no idea. Gary is my favorite coworker, but we’ve never really talked. Do the two of you have kids?” I asked her.

  “We have two kids: a fourteen-year-old boy and a twelve-year-old girl.”

  “Well, I'm going to give him a hard time when I get back to work,” I decided.

  She took her eyes off the road briefly to meet mine. “He thinks highly of you.” I understood I had Gary to thank for Jazz's willingness to meet me.

  “We should have you guys over for dinner,” I offered.

  “He'd like that.” She smiled. “We both would.”

  “Wait a sec! No, sorry, I didn't mean the car. I just thought of something. Your kids.” She looked confused. “Are your kids Wolves?” I’d never asked the question.

  “No. Wolves always have Human children, even when both parents are Wolves.”

  “Doesn't that violate some kind of genetic rule?”

  She brightened, and I knew I'd hit a topic of interest. “You would think so, but no. From what we can tell, all Humans have a latent gene for lycanthropy. No one is born with the gene turned on. It's a potential. Some of this is still theory, and there are only three Wolves in the world doing research in lycanthropic genetics. We know for certain it requires a bite from a Wolf to initiate gene expression, but not every bite causes the gene to express. We've isolated a chemical compound in Wolf saliva that we believe to be responsible for gene expression in a Human. This chemical is a hormone that is only excreted during a unique emotional state that occurs when we want to change someone into a Wolf.”

  I understood almost nothing in her explanation. “Lycanthropic genetics is a real field?”

  “Well, it's not recognized, and we don't publish in the journals. I usually leave out the part about lycanthropy and just tell people I'm a geneticist. But yes, it's a real field of study by a select few individuals.”

  “That's incredible.”

  “Research is slow. My packmates donate blood, saliva, and tissue samples regularly, and when a Wolf dies I can study the cadaver if their family agrees. I've even had a few opportunities to study an individual before and after the transition. Like John. But the pool of research subjects is low, so it's difficult to come to conclusions.”

  “It sounds challenging.” I had no idea why it was challenging, only that she found it so.

  “I could use your help,” she declared.

  “Me? How?” I was surprised.

  “It's commonly accepted that Mages don't have the latent gene for lycanthropy since they don't survive the bite. But it's never been tested. If I can correlate that the gene I believe is responsible for lycanthropy is absent in you, it would go a long way to verify my theories."

  “Wait, the bite would kill me?” I asked, thinking about Billie’s generous use of her teeth when turned on.

  “You didn't know?” She glanced nervously at Billie, thinking she'd overstepped herself.

  Billie had been listening intently to us while conversing with the others. “I only found out this morning.”

  “But you've bitten me quite a few times.”

  She smiled in delicious memory. “Never with the intent to change you. That isn't something we do by accident.”

  Jazz continued, “I heard Billie carried your matebite. Have you carried hers?” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t recommend trying it until I’ve had a chance to run some toxicity tests. The matebite is a response to a similar chemical, a precursor to the one that causes transformation.”

  “You guys are making me nervous,” I blurted, “Billie, no more biting until we have this figured out.”

  “But I like biting you,” she replied silkily.


  “I like it too. But all this talk about toxicity and death by saliva is kind of alarming.” I turned to Jazz. “If you run the tests, can you find out what's dangerous to me? And what's not?”

  “Absolutely. I’ve already run a full set of tests on Billie. I should be able to run some comparisons between the two of you. I want to do that anyway.”

  “Thank you. Hopefully I can keep my sex life just the way it is.” Billie snorted her approval.

  John howled his delight. “Only you, Billie. Wolves are immune to STIs, and you somehow figure out how to have one.” I blushed and heard Billie's hand connect with John's leg.

  “Hey, that hurt!” he complained.

  “This looks like a good spot,” Billie announced, saving me from further embarrassment.

  Jazz dutifully pulled over, and we wasted no time exiting the vehicle. The sun shone brightly on us, and a light breeze tempered the rising heat. Even in shorts and a tank top, sweat began to rise on my skin.

  “This seems kind of public,” I commented.

  Amy responded. “We'll hike on two feet for a bit. When it's safe we'll switch to four.” For a while, we enjoyed the scenery in silence. A few squirrels chittered in alarm before racing to safety. Amy began to hum, and the lingering tensions in the party faded away.

  Perhaps a mile from where we started, Billie pointed at a grove of trees. “That looks like a good spot to stash our clothes. I don't smell or hear anyone around. Sadie, can you sense anyone?”

  I scanned the area swiftly. “A man and a woman several miles in that direction,” I pointed. “No one closer than that.”

  “Will you back me up and keep your senses open? Let me know if we get within a half mile of a Human?”

  “Sure.”

  She smiled widely. “Let's run!” The Wolves began stripping out of their clothes, folding them neatly beneath a tree.

  The sudden nudity embarrassed me, and Jazz had a body I couldn't help but notice. I averted my eyes quickly, not wanting to have that thought with Billie in my life. No worries, love. She's beautiful. Do you think I've never noticed?