"You actually told her you were going to ask me to marry you?"
She didn't sound excited about that—didn't even sound as if she believed him.
"It's the truth." He took her hand again. "I was going to wait until Mother's Day, and since you left
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
kind of suddenly and I didn't have any warning, the ring's at home in my silverware drawer."
That seemed to get through to her. He was certain he saw a spark in her eyes.
"Your silverware drawer?"
"It's the only organized drawer in my house."
She almost grinned, but sobered very quickly.
"I know how you feel about your mother, Kyle, and understand that in your heart you can't help resenting me for bringing you that kind of shame. Trust me, if I don't go, it'll only get worse."
"I was wrong about my mother." He hadn't even admitted it to himself until that moment. "I've been taking a good long look at things these past few months, at her life, her choices."
Jamie was stiff beside him, barely breathing.
"I can't condone what she did or how she did it, but I can see that her intentions were good. She was providing a roof over my head, money for clothes, for food."
"Which she could have done mopping floors."
"That's true," he acknowledged. "But there's something else I'd never considered before."
Her raised brows questioned him.
"I'm grateful to her for having me when clearly she didn't have to. And—" this next part was difficult, more difficult than he could ever have imagined "—I'm grateful to her for loving me. That was one thing I never had to doubt."
And that love had probably made him the man he was. It was the basis of his self-respect, his belief in himself—his mother's unconditional love.
It was a basis Jamie had never had.
TARA TAYLOR QUINN
"I only wish I could tell her so."
Jamie smiled at him, a warm compassionate smile, giving him hope. "I'm sure she knows," she said softly.
"Maybe."
They sat silently for a couple of minutes, her flight, Kyle's proposal, hanging between them. Jamie shifted, pulled her hand from his again, and when he glanced up at her, Kyle's dread returned. The moment of warmth was gone.
"There's no way you can expect fidelity from a woman like me," she blurted almost bitterly.
Kyle sighed. "I've been with you for more than four months, Jamie. I've felt the lust in your kisses, the heat in your hands as they move against my body. And despite that, I've yet to get inside your pants. So I hardly think fidelity is going to be a problem."
She frowned, crossing her arms over her breasts. "That's just because of who you are."
"No, honey, it's because of who you are." He was completely certain of that. "You may have been forced to compromise yourself when you were younger, but you're not forced to do anything anymore. Which leaves you free to be the woman you are inside. The woman you've been all along."
"How can you say that?" she whispered, and Kyle almost cried. She seemed to want so badly to believe him. But couldn't.
"Because I know you." Taking both her hands in his, he turned her to face him, gazing straight into her eyes with all the love inside him. ' 'Your loyalty is something I've never questioned, Jamie. And I
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
never will. Because loyalty is a part of the person you are, a part of the person you've always been. You were loyal to a mother I don't think deserved it, loyal to Tom Webber, who I know didn't deserve it. But most important you've been loyal to Ashley—and to us."
"How have I been loyal to us?" He could barely hear the words.
"Our night together was so different, so special to you, that you've been loyal to it ever since.
"The thing is, Jamie," he continued, never more serious in his life. "You aren't sullied, as you seem to believe. You just had a series of unfortunate things happen to you, and you reacted to them in the only way you knew how."
Tears started to slide slowly down her cheeks as she sat there, silently watching him. Her eyes begged him to be right.
' 'Considering the complete lack of guidance you had growing up, I think you're the most remarkable person I've ever met. I don't know how you didn't end up in the streets, on drugs, robbing, stealing, hurting the world as much as you've been hurt."
' 'What good would it have done?''
"Bingo." Kyle did have to swallow back tears then.
"What?"
"That's you, Jamie—always looking for good. Don't you see, honey? An immoral person wouldn't have cared what good it would've done. People like that just automatically destroy. They don't even know good exists."
The tears poured from her eyes then, soaking
TARA TAYLOR QUINN
Kyle's shirt as he pulled her against him. He held on tight, absorbing her anguish, thanking the heavens that she'd finally found a way home.
'"Thank you," she whispered sometime later when she was spent.
"I didn't do anything." Gazing into her beautiful gray eyes, he knew that it was he who would be thanking her for the rest of his life. He'd been only half-alive before Jamie, too caught up in right and wrong to experience all the nuances of life.
"How can you say you've done nothing?" she asked. "You've just given me back the one thing I thought I'd lost forever."
He kissed the tip of her nose. "What's that?"
"My self-respect."
They talked for hours, long after it had fallen dark and the resort had settled down for the night. She told him about her past, things Karen had already told him and things she hadn't, but the telling was so much less painful with Kyle there, loving her more instead of less with every sordid detail.
"The greatest gift I ever had was Mother's Day," she said, snuggling into his side where they sat on the floor, leaning against the couch.
"What did you get?" He was nuzzling her temple.
"Mother's Day," she admitted. "That's it. The day."
"Why's that?"
She couldn't see his expression but was wanned by the genuine interest he showed in every single thing about her, every word she said.
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
"The first Mother's Day after I'd become a mother was the first time I ever felt good about myself. How could I not with Ashley staring up at me, adoring me, while I nursed her?"
"I wish I could have seen that."
His words stopped her for a moment. Stopped them both. And then she continued. "Besides, I'd done something good, turned my life around. Shown myself I could be a good person. Mother's Day is like my real birthday. The day symbolizing my rebirth. I was finally free from hell."
"No mother is more deserving of the celebration," he told her. "So it's a darn good thing we have one hell of a party planned, eh?" He poked her in the side.
Jamie squirmed, as he'd meant her to do, though she knew she couldn't go to that party. Whether Kyle loved her or not, some things hadn't changed.
They talked some about Ashley. About how excited she was to spend the night at Karen's. And about Karen. How distraught her friend had been. And how happy Karen and Dennis were these days.
And then they discussed the future.
"You know I can't marry you," she said, sometime after midnight. They were lying on the couch by then, her head on his chest, both still fully clothed. Their hands had been exploring intimate places on and off for the past hour.
"What are you talking about?" He sat up suddenly, setting her beside him.
"Have you forgotten Nelson Monroe?" she asked him. She certainly hadn't. "You could lose your job, Kyle!"
TARA TAYLOR QUINN
"They can't fire me for something they'll never be able to prove," he said. "You went out of business after that night with me. 1 wasn't one of your clients."
"But—"
"It doesn't matter anyway, Jamie," he said, silencing her with a gentle finger to her lips. "The town is going to tak
e its cues from us. The way everyone else handles the situation depends largely on how we handle it ourselves."
She wanted to believe him. So badly.
"If you feel we should move, we'll move, but you have nothing to be ashamed of, honey."
"Right, Kyle. Tell that to Dean Patterson after Nelson gives him an earful."
"I don't think I'll have to, Jamie. You've already told the dean all he needs to know."
"I don't follow you."
"Ever hear the saying 'actions speak louder than words'?"
She nodded, frowning.
"You've been living in Larkspur Grove for more than four years. Living every day as the good, caring, committed, dependable person you are."
She almost grinned at his list of adjectives, except that she'd needed to hear them so badly she started to cry again, instead.
"All you have to do is stand proudly as that person and eventually even your most staunch critics will have to come around. Or show themselves for the unworthy people they are—and then who cares?"
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
"You really think so?" She could drown in the love in his eyes.
"I do." Leaning forward, he kissed her on the lips. Lingering there. "Everyone, including Dean Patterson, has a past littered with mistakes of one kind or another."
Once again, he was right.
"I'm not saying it's always going to be easy, but not many things worth having are."
"What about Ashley? How can we expose her to the truth? Kids can be really mean."
"She'll have us, honey." Kyle smiled at her. "And Karen and Dennis and Kayla. And maybe a little sister or brother?"
Gazing into his smiling eyes, Jamie felt the tiniest ray of happiness.
"Everyone has crosses to bear," Kyle told her. ' 'Monroe may very well do as he threatened. Or he may not. Or we may run into someone else who knew you back then. And if we do, we'll deal with it. Together."
Kyle dropped a kiss tenderly on the top of her head, and Jamie finally understood. She had a family of her own now. A haven from the world. A fortress around her that couldn't be breached. Unconditional love. And as long as she and Kyle had each other, nothing else mattered.
"Love me, Kyle?" Jamie begged, kissing him hungrily. She'd waited more than five years. She couldn't wait any longer.
As the kiss ended, Kyle pulled back enough to meet her eyes. "Will you marry me, Jamie?"
She knew what he was doing. Making their com-
TARA TAYLOR QUINN
ing together pure. With happy tears trailing down her cheeks, she said, "Yes, Kyle, I'll marry you."
"On Monday?"
"You have Brad's final on Monday."
"I do?" His face went blank.
"At one," she reminded him.
"And the class final directly after."
"Right."
"Four'll be safe then, don't you think?"
"For what?"
"To give us enough time to get to Vegas for a quickie wedding. Karen and the girls can come, too. And Dennis if he's in town."
Jamie laughed, hardly recognizing the happiness flowing through her. "Make it six and you've got a deal."
Kyle slipped off his glasses, dropped them on the floor and pulled Jamie against him. ' 'That's one date I know I won't need a calendar to remember."
And he didn't.
oming in May
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Sometimes you can stumble into marriage for all the right reasons!
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SUPERROMANCE
Tate, Michael, Shea—
Three very different brothers
Three very different lives
One great opportunity
June 1999—Second to None (#842) by Muriel Jensen
What's a tough cop like Michael Delancey doing in a place like this? Mike was a hostage negotiator in Texas; now he's working at the Oregon winery he and his brothers have inherited.
Michael was ready for a change—but nothing could have prepared him for Veronica Callahan! Because Veronica and her day-care center represent the two things he swore he'd never have anything to do with again—women and children…
And watch for the third story in The Delancey Brothers series, Shea's story, The Third Wise Man in December 1999!
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Her Secret, His Child: A Little Secret Page 22