Blood From A Shadow (2012)

by Gerard Cappa

  When we did speak, it was awkward, tentative, like strangers. Kaffa had told him I was here, of course. I blew it open anyway, when I stormed the drug den in Aksaray. Somebody up there had recognised Didar, she was pretty well known in those circles, wasn’t hard to track her down, looking like that, now everybody in Istanbul knew she was involved. Turns out the old woman had drugged the bottle without telling her. I was followed by bad spirits, she had to protect her daughter. The Tarlabasai gang, the Beard and his crew, paid the mother a few Lira, she told them where we were. I collapsed, Didar heard them coming, hid downstairs, then escaped. Ferdy’s men tracked down the mother’s house, found Didar beating crap out of the mother, they waited for dark, I knew the rest.

  “Did you have to pay her for the info?” I said.

  “Sure, these people have to work everything they’ve got, I wouldn’t hold that against her, she didn’t hold out once I paid her,” Ferdia said.

  I knocked back the drink, could feel it stir the dregs of the poison, needed a hot shower to wash away the dirt and clear my head. Ferdy led me up to his room, his clothes would nearly fit me, get cleaned up, and a meal would be waiting. I showered, picked out some of his clothes and lay on the bed to breathe out all that shit. Sarah would be happy, I was breathing his air again.

  * * *

  The guard had my steak and fries ready when I came down. Conroy’s lighter and my other stuff had been retrieved from the dead Beard’s pockets, sat beside my plate. I dined on my own, just Didar for company, she nibbled on a biscuit, could hear Ferdy and two of his guys out on the terrace. I went out to join them, they went silent and the guards left us on our own with Jack Daniels.

  “So, what are we all doing here, right?” Ferdy said.

  I nodded.

  “Well, have you ever wondered what the fuck we were doing in Iraq and Afghanistan?” he said. “The War on Terror? All that shit? They told us we were going there to defend America, but it was all a crock of shit, Con, it really was! You know why? Because we are worse off now than ever, that’s why. We wasted ten years, thousands of lives and trillions of dollars. Is the United States any safer now? Is it fuck! We’re just glad to get to fuck out of there and leave Iran to mint as many nuclear warheads as the motherfuckers want. It doesn’t matter who wins this election, there’s no way any administration is going to face up to the truth because the whole country is just fucked off with the whole Hadji deal, nobody wants to know. Unless somebody does something about it, Iran will be firing nuclear warheads like fucking Chinese crackers while the administration buries its head in the sand. That’s what we’re here for, I’m just sorry you were fucked about so much, I should have told you sooner, but, with your problems, it wasn’t easy.”

  I drained my glass and started to pour another, but resisted, thought it better to lay off while the witch’s brew was still in my system. Ferdy held his glass out and I splashed the whisky in. We set back and syncopated our glances at each other and the light flicker across the Bosphorus. This looked like Ferdia McErlane but didn’t sound like him. He had never even heard of Iraq before 9/11, wasn’t interested in anything except enjoying himself when he was there, either.

  “I hear you, Ferdy, but I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” I said.

  “Yeah, I know it, I was always the dumb fuck who just got off on a piece of action, a trigger happy prick. I know. But I don’t have to be a genius of military strategy, Con, just ready to do my duty. Other people, big people, are doing the strategy thing. They all know it, all of them, but there’s only a few with the balls to do anything about it, the rest are just happy somebody else is stepping up to the plate. I’m not being the hero here, just doing my duty, even if it means breaking a few rules. You were always the one who wanted to be a hero, I’ll leave that up to you.”

  The painkillers needed an extra kick, I changed my mind, emptied the rest of the bottle into my glass, swilled it around, the way Artie did it.

  “But what rules, Ferdy, what are we talking about here? Artie McCooey told me you were breaking up a drug smuggling operation. Is that what you’re talking about?”

  Ferdy shook his head in disgust.

  “Arthur McCooey is a stupid fucking bastard! He doesn’t know shit about anything! He’s lucky he wasn’t nutted along with Swansea, the dickhead! If he wasn’t Mom’s cousin, he would be long gone.”

  “Swansea? What about him? I was there, you know. He got wasted right in front of me. How the fuck do you know about that?”

  He tried to hide that twisted smile, but he knew it wouldn’t work with me.

  “Ok, ok, it was me, I nutted him, but there was no chance you were ever going to get hurt, I told those guys if you were even touched I would kill them. Don’t get excited about it now, you weren’t touched were you?” he said.

  I gulped down the glass of whisky and looked around for a refill. He went inside and brought out a new bottle and a bucket of ice. It was freezing out here, but that’s what I needed, cold, cold air to breathe and think.

  “What the fuck are you telling me? You were there? You did it? Right in fucking front of me and you did it anyway? What the fuck, Ferdy?”

  He shrugged it off.

  “Ok, fine, I’m sorry. But it had to be done. We knew when Artie came home from Rome that Swansea would call a meeting with him. It was always the same place, the stupid fuck, that was the only chance we would get. We didn’t know you were going to be there until the last minute, it was too late to change plans.”

  He almost sounded sorry.

  “Look, we had no choice, he had to go. He deserved it anyway. He had been taking a cut of any drug action over there for years. He was in the way of our thing, we’re talking about the security of the United States here, for fuck’s sake, we couldn’t let the whole project be vulnerable to that asshole. Plus, he murdered Mom’s brothers, she always wanted me to put him away for that, anyway.”

  “Sarah knew I was walking into an ambush?”

  “Well how the fuck do you think we knew the meeting was on? Didn’t she try to stop you going? What else could she do, fuck’s sake?”

  “But Artie didn’t know? He couldn’t have, I saw him, he nearly had a heart attack,” I said.

  Ferdy giggled.

  “No, the mealy mouthed prick didn’t know. He is a yellow bastard, Con, he would never have been near the place if he knew we were going to nail his good pal Swansea.”

  “Am I the only one who thought you were dead?”

  That cracked him up, though he tried to keep a straight face, he shipped another whisky, taking two for every hit I had.

  “Only Mom knew, and the players involved. I had to disappear, had to worm my way in with the target group. Sometimes you have to do these things, Con, it’s just part of the job, that’s all. I couldn’t contact you, you were all over the fucking place for a while there, you know? You look as if you’re back to normal now, though. I’d say a bit of action is all you needed, you were never suited to civilian life, were you?”

  “So what are you telling me? Has Artie got it wrong, you’re not infiltrating some mad fucking Al Qaeda gang? What the fuck are you doing, then?”

  “I don’t think you want to know the detail, bro,” he said. “All you need to know is that it won’t be over until we get regime change in Iran. That’s it, bottom line, so the War on Terror isn’t over yet, not by a long way. We might have a new President tomorrow, maybe not. Whoever wins needs help, big time, to crunch this out. The President will have to do the 9/11 face again, but behind the scenes the Administration will be fucking delirious that we got them off the hook! They’re all ready for it, the top brass, the money to pay for the right media angle, it’s all covered.”

  9/11? Was he just drunk or was I fucking nuts, after all?

  “Ferdy, what the fuck do you mean, 9/11? You’re kidding me here, right?”

  “Does it fucking sound like I’m kidding? Wait until December 13, you’ll see if I’m kidding then! You d
on’t need to know anymore, right now, but you’ll recognise it when it happens, believe me”, he looked over his shoulder, as if a ghost might have appeared. “But listen, seriously, these guys I’m with, they’re a heavy crew, all special forces of one sort or another. Not Americans either, the Israelis are the big players, but there are Turks and Brits too. All good men, Con, very professional, you would love it. They are the Israeli crew that has been blowing all those Iranian nuclear scientists to fuck! But they aren’t pissing around here, you know? You don’t know the shit I had to pull to get you out of that hole today. Told them if they didn’t back me up, the whole deal was off. Luckily they went for it. Otherwise they would have whacked me and you would have been on your own. What I’m saying is, I got you out of there, but now you have to sit tight, not make any rumpus, you know? These guys don’t take any chances, they’ll cut you down without a second thought, if they think you are going to be a problem, know what I mean?”

  I did know, knew that this was more bizarre than my nightmares.

  “What about Kaffa, Ferdy? What about Conroy, what happened to her? Did you do that too?”

  “Don’t worry about Florencita, Con, she’s fine. I know, it’s a pity about Kaffa, but he was becoming a problem. That’s what happens, that’s what I’m trying to warn you about, don’t turn into a problem and I’ll get you out of here. Just trust me on this one, listen to me for a change, you aren’t the one who knows everything anymore, ok?”

  “Do you have Conroy? Is she a problem?”

  “Forget about her, Con, she’s fine. She was always trouble for you anyway, don’t start that all over again, she’s fine, believe me. Sleep on it tonight, everything will make more sense in the morning.”

  We poured more Daniels and went back inside, pulled the doors closed behind us, sat inside looking out. We didn’t say anything for a while, and then started to buddy chat again, our long history of adventures and scrapes together allowed us to pick up where we had left off. We joked and laughed at the old stories like a couple of regular jocks, but our anxiety bubbled under the surface. I think we both wished we could just walk out of there and get back to our Yonkers crazy days, and forget about duty and loyalty and responsibility. He had survived so far without worrying too much about anyone else, but I knew he was worried about me, in case I made myself a problem, in case he was forced to make the call on who he was really loyal to.

  We were half way through the second bottle when a hand appeared around the door and beckoned him. He jumped up and went out. I wasn’t cold sober, and the burns wouldn’t be ignored, but I mustered what sense I had left to think this through. Conroy was missing, so had she worked it out, become a “problem”? Artie said it was a setup to trap an Al Qaeda network in the US, now it was about Iran and Israel. Yeah, the election campaigns rattled the usual crap about sanctions and national security and standing fast, all that shit, but there was no way we were ever seriously getting involved in Iran, not like this. We had our own problems at home, our wars were over, it didn’t matter if we had won or lost anymore. And he didn’t have a clue about any of that stuff. The thick fucker could be sucked in by anybody with money and the promise of action. If this was such a big deal, there’s no way that level of command would be taking the risk on a maverick like him, unless they needed a sucker to take the fall afterwards. That fitted. Kill Swansea, and I’m in the frame. Kill Kaffa, I’m in the frame again. Two high level cops. They could easily drop Ferdy in with me, the two of us working together, linked back to Gallogly, on a heroin racket. That was believable, I knew Rose would believe it, anyone that knew us would. No-one would believe all this other shit that I was being pumped with. Iran? Al Qaeda? Nuclear bombs? Nah, people like me and Ferdy wouldn’t be involved with any of that shit, but he was too dumb to figure that out, he would walk right in there, taking me down with him. Duffin’s drug gang was the only thing that made any sense, and at some point they would have to dispose of both of us, either in a body bag or handed over to take the rap. The body bag would suit them better. And Didar too, I had dragged her along, they couldn’t let her walk.

  I should have stuck to coffee, the whisky wasn’t helping right now, and the pain was worse. Maybe I couldn’t see the big picture, but I was pretty sure McErlane was waltzing us both straight for a fall. We needed to get out of this place, take our chances on the street. Yeah, I might become a problem, but if I did, I knew McErlane would always back me, if it came right down to it, I knew who he was loyal to. Even though I had pulled the grenade on him, I knew he would never give up on me. And I didn’t care what training these other guys had, Ferdy and me together would be a bigger problem than they ever wanted to know about. How to get the dumb prick to believe me, that was the snag. He had swallowed all that shit about me having “emotional issues”, being “unstable”, like everybody did. He would always defend me, I knew that, but I needed more, needed him to believe in me again, needed to tag him back to our youth, when he trusted only me, would have followed me through fire, without a second thought. But those days were long ago, hard to revive that faith, once it has been bruised.

  * * *

  I heard his raised voice down the hallway and opened the door to see what was happening. Two guys on the door, looked like special forces. Had that swagger they all have. A hand eased me back into the room, closed the door behind me. I went to the french windows, same thing, three guys with the swagger. More angry voices, Ferdy being shouted down. Then quiet for a moment, shuffling outside the door, before he came back in. I could read his face, it said “PROBLEM!”

  “You don’t look so happy, Ferdy, bad news?” I said.

  “You know how these motherfuckers are, like to throw their weight around. But it won’t be a problem, ok? You will be safe, that’s not a problem. You just have to stay here for a while, until things get moving. That’s the best way, Con, no point in making you vulnerable, putting you outside with the entire Turkish police force looking for you. You’ll be safe here.”

  “Are you trying to convince yourself about that, or me?” I said.

  “No way, they need me to do this thing,” Ferdy said. “Too late now to embed anyone else, so that gives me a lever. If I don’t hear your voice when I get home, I’ll walk away. They can’t afford that, it’s too late to change now. You’ll be safe, Con, I’ve made sure of it.”

  “You mean you’re carrying their drugs to New York?” I said. “And what then? Once they don’t need you anymore? I’ll never walk out of here, Ferdy, and they won’t let you walk afterwards either. This fucking Iran thing is full of shit, bro. They’re a drugs gang, Duffin told me that, it’s the only thing that adds up here. You’ll do their dirty business then they nail you and me both, pin Swansea and Kaffa on us, end of story. You’re being used, just forget this Iran bullshit, man, we’ve got to get ourselves out of here, get home.”

  He put his hand on my cheek, had a look in his eyes I didn’t recognise, maybe sadness, maybe pity, I hadn’t seen it before.

  “You’re wrong, Con. They aren’t gangsters. Some of the best minds in America are behind this, they are the people we have to trust. I know it’s hard for you to accept, that they selected me, but it’s just the way it fell, the circumstances all pointed to me. But you’ll be fine. The United States is going to need you again too, so be ready, keep yourself strong, forget about the troubles you’ve had, you’ll come through. You’ll see, you’ll be proud of me, Con. I guess that’s what I always wanted, now you will see, I’m not just the loser you always thought I was.”

  Both sets of doors opened and the five guards moved in.

  “Go with them, Con, just keep it cool. You have to trust me on this one, take my word on it, you’ll be safe. You know I wouldn’t sell you out, bro, just wait, you’ll see I was right,” Ferdy said.

  I was back in wrist ties again, being shuffled down to the basement, could still hear Ferdy insisting this was for my own good, that I should just trust him. At the bottom of the stairs, a guard ros
e from his chair and unlocked the door to a small room. I knew Conroy would be in there. They eased me in, left the ties on, then locked the door behind me. No window, a new looking mattress, bottle of water, cereal bars and a bowl of fruit. A woman was there, kneeling on the mattress, chin on her chest, weeping. But not Conroy, it was Didar. She didn’t think we were getting out of there alive either.

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  “You said I be safe, Gavur. I be safe and you give me 10,000 Lira. I am fool, my mother is right, she see your bad spirits.”

  It was a pretty good assessment. I had blundered into her life, promising wealth and good fortune, all she got was pain and suffering. I was just like all the men that had used her since she was a child.

  “What does your woman in America think, this Rose, what you tell her you do in Istanbul? You tell her you make her rich and she be happy, yes?”

  “She agrees with your mother, she thinks I have bad spirits too,” I said.

  “Hmm, you laugh at me, but my mother see these things. All Tarlabasai know this, they all come to her, even Gypsies. The women come to my mother, the men to me. You think that is funny, Gavur, no?”

  I wasn’t laughing at anything right at that moment. We were trapped in a basement room, some rogue special forces pulling guard, looked like we would be here until somebody decided to scrub us out, like we never existed. At least it was comfortable, compared to everywhere else I had been tied up recently. My hands were tied at the front this time, it was warm, dry, we had a clean mattress, water, food. Having her lying up against me helped.

  “So, Didar, what about you and Punka? Maybe I can see things too. What’s the story with you two, aren’t you worried about him?”