Why? Why? Why?
He’d thought they were fine. He’d thought everything was ticking along just as he’d wanted it. But just like seven years ago she had blindsided him. His guard had been down. He was so thrown by her being taken to hospital he hadn’t seen what was right in front of him. That sexy little crawl over his chest to make him feel secure and then wham! She wanted to control him. Manipulate him into doing things her way.
No way was he going to be her puppet. He’d told her the terms. He’d been honest about what he was prepared to give. She was the one shifting the goalposts.
Just like you did in the past, dropping that proposal on her.
Cristiano swatted away the thought as if it were an annoying fly. So? He’d shifted them right on back. A short-term marriage was all he was prepared to have. And even that was a stretch. He didn’t want the responsibility of maintaining a long-term relationship. He didn’t want the emotional honesty such a relationship demanded.
If he opened up the vault of his heart then that would undo all the work he’d put in since he was that boy of eleven hearing his parents and brother were never coming back. He could not allow himself to be that vulnerable. Not again. Look at what last night had done to him. Rushing into that hospital to see Alice had thrown him into a chest-seizing panic. He’d lain awake most of the night with residual dread still chugging through his veins like jagged cubes of ice. He hadn’t trusted her confession of love last night. If she’d loved him way back then, why had she walked out and never looked back?
You did the same to her.
Cristiano didn’t want to be reminded of how badly he’d handled things in the past. It was better this way. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. He wasn’t that person any more. Maybe he’d never been that person. He was too damaged by the loss of his family. He kept people at a distance. He controlled them because it was the only way he could harness the fear. The fear that clawed at him. The fear that reminded him with sharp little jabs of how easily he could lose the ones he dared to love. It was easier not to love. To not even think about the word. To pretend his feelings were something else. Lust, attraction, mild affection.
Anything but love.
* * *
By the time Alice got to work she had another headache. But the pain in her head was nothing to the pain in her heart. Cristiano had summed up his feelings about her. He didn’t give a damn either way. He could take her or leave her. He had chosen to leave her.
‘Hey, where’s your engagement ring?’ Meghan asked when she came in for the day. ‘My first client wants to see it. She read about you and Cristiano on...’ She frowned. ‘Is something wrong?’
Alice blinked away the moisture in her eyes. ‘Cristiano and I are not getting married after all. We’ve broken—’
‘Not getting married?’ Meghan gasped. ‘Why the hell not? You two are the most in love couple I’ve ever seen. The air crackles like a power station when you guys are in the same room.’
Alice pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling. ‘He doesn’t love me. He’s...oh, it’s too complicated to explain.’
‘What do you mean he doesn’t love you?’ Meghan’s eyes were slit-thin with incredulity. ‘You should’ve seen him when he came here yesterday and found out you were in hospital. I thought he was going to pass out on the spot. He was as white as our deluxe collagen face mask.’
Alice wished it were true. Wished he loved her. But if he loved her he wouldn’t be baulking at commitment. That was what love was all about. Commitment. Trust. A future, not a time line.
‘He doesn’t want what I want. He doesn’t want kids.’
Meghan’s face fell. ‘Oh...well then, that’s a deal-breaker.’ But then she brightened again. ‘But maybe he’ll change his mind. Lots of men do. They come round to it eventually, when they—’
‘He won’t,’ Alice said. ‘He’s stubborn like that.’
Meghan waggled her eyebrows. ‘Mmm, like someone else I know.’
Alice frowned. ‘Don’t you have work to do?’
Meghan gave her a ‘kicked puppy’ look. ‘I’m really sorry about you breaking up with Cristiano. But he’s had a lot going on in his life—his gran dying and this big new development. Maybe he needs a bit of time to think things over.’
‘Like another seven years?’
Meghan bit her lip. ‘He really is stubborn, isn’t he?’
Alice gave her a grim look. ‘He could open a mentoring academy for mules.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
CRISTIANO WAS PRESSING on with his London development on principle. He wasn’t the sort of man to walk away from a business deal because of personal issues. He kept work and his private life separate. Mostly. Although having to visit the Chelsea site with Alice’s beauty salon on the ground floor of the building he’d bought was like having molars pulled with bolt cutters. Confronting failure was something he assiduously avoided. Returning to the scene of the crime, so to speak, was anathema to him. He would prefer to be on the other side of the globe right now. Siberia. Outer Mongolia.
Anywhere but here.
Somehow the press had heard the engagement was off. He had refused to comment and apparently so had Alice as the articles were evidently from ‘reliable sources close to the couple’ whatever the hell that meant. But after a week of being chased to and from his hotel by the paparazzi, things had settled down.
Seven days of living without Alice. Not seeing her. Not touching her. Not making love to her.
Nothing.
A big yawning cavern of emptiness stretched out ahead of him. Just like the last time, only this time it was harder. Much harder. How had he done this before and for seven years? He’d convinced himself he’d done the right thing. Let her be free to live the life he couldn’t give her. But the thought of her getting on with her life without him was eating away at him. Gnawing on his nerves until he was all but twitching with restlessness.
Cristiano had to meet with the architect on site to discuss some of the plans he had for the refit of the building. But the whole time he was in the meeting his eyes kept drifting to the window in the hope of seeing Alice coming in or out of her salon.
He was surprised the architect didn’t notice, or maybe he did and was too polite to say anything. He’d noticed a wedding ring on the architect’s finger and noticed too the screensaver on the guy’s phone when he answered a call. It was a photo of his wife and young toddler and newborn baby. All the things Cristiano had convinced himself he didn’t want.
But he did want them.
The realisation was like a light being switched on, shining on all the dark lonely places in his heart. Illuminating the hopes and dreams he had stashed and hidden away out of fear.
Cristiano finished the meeting and was about to turn left away from Alice’s salon when he stopped mid-stride. This was ridiculous. What was he doing? Walking away a second time? Turning his back on the best thing that had ever happened to him? Who was he fooling?
He wasn’t in lust with Alice. He was in love. He had always been in love with her. That was why he was so damn terrified. That was why he’d rushed the proposal seven years ago. He’d been so worried he might lose her so he’d made her an offer he’d thought she wouldn’t be able to refuse.
But he’d got it all wrong. So horribly wrong.
He’d thought losing the shares and his nonna’s villa was the worst thing that could happen to him. But losing Alice was far worse. He couldn’t lose her. Not again.
He had to talk to her. He couldn’t let another day—another minute—pass without telling her he loved her and wanted the same things she wanted. Why had he left it a week? Seven days of miserable hell. No way was he leaving it a second longer.
He spun on his heel and went back the other way but he’d only taken two strides when he saw Meghan from Alice’s beauty salon trotting towards him.
‘Hi, Cristiano,’ she said. ‘Bad news about your breakup with Alice. But don’t worry. I’ve got it a
ll sorted. I’ve found her a new man. I’m setting up a blind date for her. He’s a friend of a friend and he’s so keen on having kids he’s already got cupboards full of toys. Isn’t that sweet?’
Cristiano felt as if he’d been slammed across the head with a plank. ‘A blind date?’
‘Yup.’ Meghan’s eyes twinkled. ‘It worked a treat for one of our clients. They’re getting married this weekend. Jennifer and Marcus. Alice is doing Jennifer’s make-up for it.’
Cristiano had trouble speaking past the knot of despair stuck in his throat. ‘She can’t do that.’
‘What?’ Meghan’s expression was guileless as a child. ‘Do Jennifer’s make-up? Don’t be silly. That’s her specialty!’
What Alice’s specialty was to make him as mad as a wasp-stung bull. How could she date another man so quickly? What the hell was she doing going on a blind date? What if the guy was a freak? Some stranger who would—He couldn’t bear to think about it. Jealousy rose in him like bile. He was choking on it. He could feel it bubbling up his windpipe like an overflowing drain. ‘Where is she?’ he asked.
Meghan pointed to the salon. ‘She’s in her office working on accounts. But she doesn’t want to be—’
‘You can cancel your friend of a friend, okay?’ Cristiano said. ‘If she’s going on a date with anyone it’s going to be with me.’
* * *
Alice couldn’t concentrate on the rows of numbers on her computer screen. Normally seeing all those healthy figures would have made her do a happy dance. But she had never felt more miserable. A week had gone past and no word from Cristiano. Not even a text message. Nothing. A big fat nothing. The press had done their thing for a few days but she’d refused to speak to them. She’d even resorted to using disguises to avoid them when walking to and from her house or the salon.
Her mother had been ‘too upset’ to talk to her, which was typical. As if it was Alice’s fault the marriage wasn’t going ahead. Well, it was, but that was beside the point. But how could she go ahead with a marriage that was the opposite of what a marriage should be? What she wanted her marriage to be?
Meghan had been a stalwart support, making numerous cups of tea and bringing in a steady supply of cinnamon-covered doughnuts—Alice’s weakness when dealing with stress. Sugar and fat were the only pleasures she had in her life now.
There was the sound of bell tinkling as the salon door opened...although tinkling wasn’t the right word. Firm footsteps came striding through the salon and Alice barely had time to get to her feet when her office door slammed back against the wall and Cristiano appeared. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
Alice kept her expression cool and composed even though her heart rate was doing its hummingbird impersonation. ‘Accounts. It’s been a good week for me. One of my best, actually.’
His expression was thunderous, all stormy clouds and dark shadows and lightning flashes in his eyes. ‘Meghan tells me you’re dating someone else.’
Alice frowned. ‘What?’
His mouth was pressed into a chalk-white line. ‘Don’t do it, Alice.’ He released a tight breath. ‘Please.’
Alice was starting to join some dots and it was creating an interesting picture indeed. ‘When were you speaking to Meghan?’
‘Just now, outside.’ He jerked his head towards the street. ‘She said she was setting you up on a blind date with some friend of a friend who wants kids.’
‘I don’t know anything about a blind date,’ Alice said. ‘And you’ve got a hide storming in here telling me what to do with my private life when it’s no concern of yours and nor will it ever—’
‘If you want to have kids so badly then you can damn well have them with me.’
Alice opened her mouth to fling back another round of fire but stopped and gaped at him instead. Had she heard him correctly? Kids? He wanted kids? But then she realised what was going on. Jealousy. Not love. The big green-eyed monster was behind his change of heart.
She narrowed her gaze. ‘So, let me get this straight. You’re offering to be a sperm donor and a cardboard cut-out husband because you’re...jealous?’ She said the word as if it were some sort of contagion.
Cristiano came around to her side of the desk and grasped her by the upper arms.
‘Damn straight I am. Alice, I love you. I’ve been a stubborn fool all this time refusing to acknowledge it. I can handle the loss of the shares. I can handle the loss of the villa. What I can’t handle is the loss of you. I’ve already lost you once. I don’t want to lose you again. I was already coming here when I ran into Meghan. Please believe me, cara. Don’t let anything else keep us apart. Will you marry me? Not because of Nonna’s will, not because I’m jealous but because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.’
Alice looked at him with watering eyes. ‘Do you mean it? You’re not just saying it because of the deadline?’
His hold tightened as if he were terrified she was going to slip out of his grasp. ‘I don’t care about the deadline other than I want to do what Nonna wanted. She knew I hadn’t got over you. She knew I was too stubborn to see you again so she orchestrated it so I had no choice.’
Alice smiled. ‘Like Meghan.’
He frowned. ‘Meghan?’
Alice laced her arms around his neck. ‘I’m not going on a blind date. Why would I do that when I only have eyes for you?’
Relief washed over his features and he smiled. ‘The little meddling minx. She and Nonna must be kindred spirits.’ He gathered her tight against his body. ‘She saw what Nonna saw, what I refused to see. I love you, tesoro mio. I love you desperately. Please say you’ll marry me.’
Alice looked into his handsome features so full of love and adoration for her. The softness in his dark brown eyes, the way he looked at her as if she were the most precious thing he could ever hold in his arms—made her feel so happy she could barely speak.
‘I will marry you, darling. I can’t think of anything I would rather do than be your wife and the mother of your children.’
He crushed her mouth beneath his in a kiss that spoke of the depth of his feelings. He drew back to smile at her, his own eyes suspiciously moist.
‘I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding getting close to people in case I lost them. But I got to thinking I might as well have jumped in my family’s coffins with them if I don’t live a full and authentic life. I owe it to them to make the most of the time that was snatched away from them.’
Alice touched the track of dampness leaking from his eyes. ‘I wish I’d been able to meet them. I’m sure they were wonderful people who loved you so much. They would be thrilled you’re embracing life at last. I’m sure of it.’
Cristiano brushed her hair back with his hand. ‘I’ve been thinking about what we can do together. You could have your wedding spa as a feature of my hotel. Here in London but also in Italy and France and Greece. You could have your own franchise. It will be something to build together.’
Alice held his face in her hands and kissed him. ‘You are making all my dreams come true. I would love that. It would be so wonderful to do it together just like your grandparents and parents did.’
He kissed her soundly, only breaking away to gaze down at her with a look of such devotion it made Alice’s eyes tear up again.
‘We’ve only got a week to pull off this wedding,’ he said. ‘Do you think we can do it?’
She stroked his lean jaw, and looked lovingly into his eyes. ‘Together we can do anything.’
One year later...
Alice smiled at Cristiano as he came in from bringing in their bags from the car. They were spending their first wedding anniversary at his grandmother’s villa where they came every few months to relax and recharge. Yes, relax. That word she used not to have in her vocabulary.
Her beauty spa at Cristiano’s Chelsea hotel had finally opened a few weeks ago to great fanfare and she had recently appointed Meghan as her business manager and it was working a t
reat. It meant Alice could have the occasional week off without worrying about her clients not receiving the attention she prided herself on giving them.
And because she intended to take even more time off in a few months’ time.
Alice took Cristiano by the hand and led him to the walnut table in the sitting room where the family photos were arranged. Whenever they came back to the villa they stood there and quietly acknowledged his family. Their wedding photo was next to his parents’ and grandparents’ wedding photos, creating a sense of continuity she knew gave him great comfort. It gave her great comfort too to see him so happy and settled after so much heartache. She hadn’t told him yet, but soon there would be photos of the next generation of the Marchetti family.
‘I have something to tell you, darling,’ Alice said, squeezing his hand in excitement. ‘I wanted to wait until we got here so the rest of the family could hear it as well.’
Cristiano’s dark brown eyes misted. ‘You’re...pregnant?’
‘I did a test this morning. I’ve been bursting to tell you but then I thought how lovely it would be for you to hear about it here amongst those who loved you so deeply.’
He gathered her close, kissing her tenderly and then holding her with such gentleness she had trouble keeping her own tears in check.
‘How far along?’ he said. ‘Are you okay? Not sick? Feeling faint? Shouldn’t you be resting? What about work—?’
Alice put a fingertip to his mouth to stall his speech. ‘Meghan is going to cover me while I take maternity leave. And I feel fantastic...well, apart from a tiny bit of squeamishness. I’m six weeks pregnant according to my calculations. It must have been the weekend of the opening of your hotel and my spa.’ She gave him a twinkling look. ‘I seem to remember we had a lot of fun together that weekend.’
Cristiano cupped her face in his hands, his own eyes gleaming. ‘I didn’t know the meaning of the word until I met you. You’ve made me so happy, cara.’
Alice smiled and drew his head back down so her lips were within reach of his. ‘We make each other happy, which is what your nonna recognised right from the start. I can’t imagine how miserable I would be now if it hadn’t been for her meddling.’
The Temporary Mrs. Marchetti (Mills & Boon Modern) Page 15