by Liam Hurley
The old homeless woman was still grinning up at me.
“Do you need to use the cash machine? Wait, why did I just ask that?” I said.
“I do love.” She said.
“But, but you’re… never mind.” I said.
She smiled again and shuffled up to the screen. Come on, I thought, I’m going to be late. I heard the keys beep as she typed in her PIN. She shoved her cash and card into one of the many rubbish-filled bags. Then she sat down on the ground next to the machine and pulled the bags around her legs.
I took a step forward and shoved my debit card into the machine. Enter PIN. I looked down to the homeless woman but she seemed to have fallen asleep. I shoved my finger on the buttons and keyed in my PIN. 4…3…1…2. Balance, Withdraw Cash, PIN Services, Mini-Statement. I pressed a button in. Choose Amount. I looked at the options and selected £100. My card came back out along with the cash and I put it into my wallet.
“Spare any change?” came a voice form below me.
I looked down to see the gums peeking out from behind her smile once more.
“I’ve just seen you get money out from the machine.” I said.
“Any change?” she asked again.
I shook my head and turned away from her. It was getting late now I really needed to make a move. I decided to do a light jog. I zipped down Market Street and swung a left at the bottom of it towards the Town Hall. I picked up the pace as the street began to tilt upwards and jumped over a large black bin bag left outside a pub. The crowd thinned around the town hall and as I took a right after the library I found myself on a fairly empty street. I slowed down to a walk. I was staring straight ahead. I had tunnel vision. I was looking at a neon pink sign I hadn’t seen for a long time. Ronnie’s was within touching distance.
I walked towards the back of the queue. I took a quick head count. Eight. Not so bad. People were being let in two-by-two. I was growing anxious. One of the bouncers was making his way up the line and shepherding people in. He stopped at me. Tony, I think he was called. He was a large, heavy-set, dark-skinned gentleman. And he was glaring at me.
“Do you need my I.D. or?”
“Where do I know you from?” he said.
“No idea. I’ve never been here before.” I said.
He squinted at me.
“You sure?”
“Yep. Just heard good things.”
He looked me up and down once more. He exhaled loudly and lifted the rope from the front of the queue.
“In you go.”
“Thanks Tony.”
I smiled at his confused face and walked inside. My feet instantly stuck to the floor. I took a deep breath in and smelled the stale beer and sweat. I was home. I walked upstairs and pushed the double doors open.
The dance floor was fairly empty. I made my way towards the bar. I hoisted myself onto a stool and looked around. There seemed to be all of three staff on service and I didn’t recognize any of them. A group of girls to my left were in the process of downing cherry and apple sours. I grimaced as I remembered where they were stored in the back room, and just how long the liquid stayed in those dirty bottles. The girls were ‘woo’ing and snapping pictures of themselves. The bartender who served them was frowning as they shoved pound coins across the bar at her. She picked them up and shook the alcohol off them. Her eyes flicked my way. I raised my eyebrows at her. I would always be a barman really. She moved towards me and opened the till. She threw the pound coins in, slammed the drawer shut and looked up at me.
“How can I help?” she said.
“Hi. Yeah, I’d like a vodka lemonade, and your manager please.” I smiled.
“What? My manager? Why?” Her eyes had grown wide.
“Nothing to worry about. He’s an old friend.” I said.
“Okay…” she seemed unsure. “Let me just get your drink for you.”
“Thanks.” I said.
She quickly made my drink but continued to glance back at me, with her eyes narrowed, every few moments. She pushed the drink towards me.
“Two-pound-twenty, please.”
“It’s gone up.” I said.
“Pardon?”
“It used to be one-pound-ninety.”
“Things change.” She said.
“That is true.” I laughed. I counted out the money and passed it over the bar to her.
She deposited it in the till and looked up at me.
“I’ll just go get him.”
She disappeared behind the bar into the back room. The last place I’d seen Joe. Had he been in there all this time? I tapped my fingers against the bar. I was impatient. Seeing Tom and Ryan again had really brought home what I’d been missing out on over the last six months. Proper friendship. Although I’d made lots of positive changes to my life in that time, it was clear now that I’d been letting some really important aspects down. And now it was time to make up for that. Tick this name off my list. Hopefully once the list was done, something as stupid as a dream wouldn’t have the power to mess with my head all the time.
His ginger hair caught my eye as he popped his head around the corner. The girl from the bar pointed at me and whispered in his ear. I saw his eyes open wider than they’d been when he first looked for me. He smiled but also let his jaw hang open slightly. He brought his hand up to his face and beckoned me into the back room.
I nodded and lifted myself off the stool. I lifted the bar hatch open at the side entrance and walked towards him. I smiled at the bar girl as she went back to serving. Joe held the door to the back room open for me.
I walked inside and sat down on the bench. I’d sat down there with Joe many times before. He was still stood at the door though, looking down at me.
“You’re a robbing bastard.” I said, holding up my drink. “Two-twenty. On a student night. And it’s watered down.”
“What’s happened to you?”
“Oh sorry. Yeah, I keep forgetting. I lost weight.”
“How?”
“Yeah. That’s the thing.” I took a drink. “Joe. I’m dying.”
“What?” he marched towards me.
“Dying.”
“What do you mean? With what?”
He sat down and looked me dead in the eye.
“Nah not really.” I laughed.
“Don’t fucking do that!” shouted Joe, with a punch to the arm for added emphasis.
“Ow! God, I was only joking. How do you think I lost it? Diet and exercise, you dope.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Charming. I don’t see you for six months and this is the welcome I get.” I downed the rest of my drink.
“I can’t get over it. Look at you.” He looked me up and down.
“Well, get over it. I’ve got something for you. Here hold this.” I passed Joe my empty cup. I then reached into my pocket and retrieved my wallet.
I pulled out the hundred pounds I’d withdrawn earlier and passed it to Joe.
“What’s this?” he said, looking down at the notes.
“Hundred. It’s what I owe you for the booze. Well, it’s an estimate.”
“No. Don’t be ridiculous.” He said.
“I’m not being ridiculous. I owe it you. Here.” I shoved it into his hand.
“Jim, I can’t take hundred quid off you.”
“Well if you don’t I’ll bin it. I owe it you Joe. Take it.”
He looked down at the notes.
“You sure?” he said.
“Sure.”
He shoved the notes into his pocket and laughed.
“What’s happened to you? Did you lose some brain cells with all that weight? Coming in here and giving me a hundred notes for no reason.”
“Well it’s done now. Get us a beer.” I nodded at the open box behind him.
He reached down and pulled two cans out, handing me one. I cracked mine open and we toasted a silent cheers before sitting down on the bench together.
“I was just doing a stock take.” Said Joe. �
��Gotta be careful these days.”
He smirked at me.
“Fucking hell, I’ve just given you a hundred quid you dick.” I said.
“I know, I know.” He patted my knee. “So, did you just come here to give me money or is there something else?”
“Oh, that’s charming, isn’t it? Here I am after six months, you take the cash and want me to leave.”
“No, I just mean, have you come for any reason besides the money?”
“You’ve got a load of new staff, don’t you? I don’t recognise anyone.” I said.
“Well you know how it is. Big turnover. You still working for that tour company?”
“Yeah, I- wait, how did you know that?”
“They rang me for a reference. Some woman.”
“Oh. What did you say?”
“I said you quit when you got caught stealing a hundred-quid’s worth of stock.” He said.
“You what?” I said.
“Joking.”
“Dickhead.”
I drank a bit more of my beer.
“So.” I started. “I just want to say that I’m sorry about the stealing. And just the way I was after Erin and I broke up. But I wanted you to know I had my reasons.”
“Go on.” Joe said.
“Remember how I said we’d had ‘issues’?” I said. Joe nodded. “What I meant was that she was texting someone else.”
“Just texting?”
“No, you know what I mean. Pictures. Flirting. Bullshit.”
“Got ya.” He said.
“When I found out about it I confronted her. And then she finished with me.”
“She finished with you?”
“Obviously. Look at me! Why does everyone ask that?”
“Sorry, go on.”
“So, she finished it. And I can’t even blame her. I pretty much pushed her towards Daniel. I was being mad jealous and possessive of her. I kept accusing her of cheating.”
“Rightly so it turned out though?” Joe said.
“Who knows? If I wouldn’t have kept on at her about it maybe it wouldn’t have happened. It’s like when you’re training someone to mix a cocktail. If you keep telling them, ‘no ice, no ice, no ice’ what are they going to do?”
“Put ice in.” Joe said with a smile.
“Exactly. And that’s what happened essentially. She might’ve put the ice in, but I filled the trays.”
“And that’s why you became such a hermit when you lived upstairs?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to shut the world out.”
“I understand. You should’ve told me though.” He said.
“I know I should’ve. Just at the time it was too raw you know? Saying it out loud would’ve made it real. I wasn’t ready for reality.”
“That explains the drinking at least.”
“Thanks for kicking me out. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I’d stayed here.” I looked around the room.
“You’d have got there in the end.”
“Maybe. But thanks for the push.”
We clinked cans once more. After a few moments of silence, I remembered an important point. I’d been caught up in going over old ground, it was time to make some new.
“Anyway. You were right. I didn’t come here just to give you money.” I said.
“Knew it. Okay, we can do it once but no tongue.”
I laughed.
“I was going to save that for your birthday. No, I’ve got a favour to ask.”
“What?” he said, in the tone of a man who’d done enough favours for me already in his life.
“Well, I’ve had this idea…”
We spent a good few hours in the back room talking. So much so that Joe was slightly drunk when we made our way back out to the bar. We pushed the door open and were greeted by the noise of Manchester at night. People shouting orders, The Smiths were playing, and a bouncer was telling a tall guy with glasses to put his shirt on.
“God, it’s picked up in here, hasn’t it?” I shouted to Joe.
“Yeah it’s a good night for us now.” He called back. “Come on, I’ll see you out I need to check the queue anyway.”
He lifted open the hatch and we began to fight our way through the crowds. The student crowd seemed so young. I was looking at the faces around me with envy. Barely any of the lads had facial hair, and only some of the girls did too. I saw some wild haircuts which made me realise, even though I was looking better than my previous balding state, I was not what you would call ‘trendy’. Then again, I don’t think I’d ever be able to grow an afro. I looked more deeply at the faces. Some of them had spots still. One girl had braces! Jesus. I was laughing as I continued to look around at people. More spots, a mohawk, sunglasses indoors, Daniel, a girl with bunny ears on. Wait. I snapped my head back around.
It was him. Daniel was sat on the couches to the left of the dance floor. I could see the top of his blonde hair and his large shoulders. He was hunched over speaking to a girl next to him. My beats per minute shot up rapidly. I couldn’t see her face properly. She definitely had dark hair. I pushed a few guys out my way. She flicked her hair back to reveal a choker necklace, and the spot-marked face of an eighteen-year-old. Phew. It wasn’t her.
I turned around and tapped Joe on the back, he’d been shouting up to the DJ booth. He turned around.
“What’s up?” he said.
“Daniel’s over there.” I thumbed towards the couches.
“Daniel?” he said.
“The guy Erin was messaging.”
“Oh right.” He thought for a moment. “Look, stay here, I’m going to get a bouncer.”
He went to turn away. I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
“Woah, why you getting a bouncer?”
“To kick him out, I’m not having that dick in my bar.”
He pushed my hand off his shoulder and disappeared into the crowd. Fuck. This is not what I wanted. I looked towards Daniel. I looked back to Joe who was still fighting to get past the DJ booth. I tried to calculate how long I’d have before he returned with a bouncer. Ah, fuck it.
I turned and walked towards the couches. The same couches where we’d kissed for the first time. The same couches where- no, don’t think of that. This is not the time to get upset.
I pushed my way through the crowd before I arrived directly in front of Daniel. His head was still turned to the girl next to him with the choker. She spotted me first. She glanced my way and then stared at me when it became clear to her that I wasn’t moving. Daniel was nattering away to her.
“So, I said to them, go get me the bag and I’ll show you- what’re you looking at?” Said Daniel. He turned his head around to me. “Fucking hell, Jimmy?”
He stood up with a big grin plastered across his face.
“Look at you! You look fantastic!” he smiled. He turned back to the girl. “Bex, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, Bex.”
“Hi Jimmy.” She said.
“What’s happened to you man? Look at you! You must’ve lost like, a lot!” he was still grinning.
I hadn’t smiled once yet. I was looking him up and down. I didn’t intend to do it, but my feet seemed to find themselves in the twelve o-clock and three o-clock positions.
“Come here man.” He pulled his arms open wide for a hug.
I moved for the first time as I held a hand out and pushed it firmly into his stomach, stopping him in his tracks.
“What’s up?” he said. “Oh, not Erin, fuck me man. It was ages ago!”
“What’s that?” said Bex from the couch.
“Nothing, just some girl we were both interested in at the same time.” He said.
“My girlfriend you mean.” I corrected him.
“She was my girlfriend before you actually.”
“Yes, but I wasn’t sending her pictures of my cock whilst you two were together, was I?”
“Ew, Daniel is that true?” said Bex.
“I’ll explain later.” He said to her.
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“I’d check his phone if I were you Bex.” I said to her, whilst keeping my eyes firmly on Daniel.