Dancer in the Shadows

by Linda Wisdom

  "Val," Sean said thickly against her hair, "you seem so special that I don't want to let you go. Come home with me."

  Still bemused from his lovemaking, she didn't realize the true meaning of his words. "It's terribly late and I should be getting back to the house," she replied huskily, rubbing her cheek against his hair-roughened chest where the buttons were still undone.

  "If you feel the same way later, I'll take you home then," he chuckled. "Or we'll just wait until after breakfast."

  As the bald truth of his statement hit her, Valerie pulled away abruptly, trying to hide her burning face. She felt burning shame at her abandoned response. Sean's face creased in puzzlement at her stiff withdrawal, his eyes narrowed in speculation.

  "Val, are you a virgin?" he asked bluntly, bending his head slightly to study her face.

  "That's a pretty stupid question to ask a girl in this day and age." She laughed shakily, still refusing to look at him. A taste of bitterness was in her mouth. "I admit I may not be considered experienced enough for someone as sophisticated as yourself, but if you don't mind being patient with someone who's still in the learning stage..."

  "Shut up!" Sean's hands gripped her shoulders roughly, shaking her none too gently, until tears rolled down her cheeks. She choked back a sob at the look of black fury on his face. "Don't you realize that if we had kept on, it would have been easy for me to make love to you whether you wanted me to or not? I'm not a saint, and I've slept with my share of women. But it didn't mean that I loved them, only that I made love to them," he stated crudely. "I am very much a hypocrite about the woman I will marry. I don't want to wonder how many men she's been with before me. I want to be the one to initiate her into the passions of lovemaking. You have a very precious gift. Don't abuse it or throw it away. Save it for that special man one day."

  Sean's bruising grip loosened as he noticed the damp streaks on her cheeks and her trembling lips. Uttering an oath under his breath, he brushed his fingertips lightly across her face and brought the salty wetness to his lips. He groaned softly, wrapping his arms around her body, bringing her back against his chest.

  "Sean?" Her low voice questioned his sudden tenderness.

  "Ssh!" His hand stroked her hair lightly. A low chuckle rumbled deeply in his chest. "I haven't kissed a girl in a parking lot since high school. You make me feel old, infant."

  "You're not old," Valerie protested drowsily, content with his arms around her.

  "I think I'd better take you home while I still have some common sense left," he said ruefully, putting her reluctantly from him.

  As Sean drove out of the parking lot and headed for the main road, Valerie sat back in the seat, still feeling the spell he had wrapped around her, as warm as the coat. She closed her eyes, happy to have her hand warmly enclosed in his.

  "Val"—a low voice drifted through her sleep-drugged mind—"you're home."

  Her face turned in the direction of the voice as light kisses were rained over her face, teasing the corner of her mouth before settling fully on her slightly parted lips.

  "Come to Sutro Park with me tomorrow," he murmured against her mouth, his breath mingling with hers.

  "Can you bear to spend the day with a mere infant?" she teased.

  Sean's reply was a drugging kiss, forcing her to respond. He was trembling when he finally released her. "What mere infant?" he muttered hoarsely, nuzzling her throat. "You're a witch. A witch capable of casting crazy spells over me."

  Sean released her, then got out of the car and walked around the front to open her door. His dark, craggy features appeared unearthly in the ghostly moonlight. But she felt no fear of him.

  When Valerie reached the front door, Sean's hand encircled her wrist, drawing her back toward him. "I'll pick you up at nine," he murmured, his fingers caressing the soft inner skin. "Right now, I suggest you go inside before I change my mind and carry you off to my place, where I doubt we would talk very much." His kiss brushed lightly across her lips with a promise of more to come. She slipped off his jacket and handed it to him. He grinned, his teeth flashing white in his bronzed face as he gently pushed her inside. "Tomorrow," he said softly.

  She stood in the doorway, watching him move with lithe grace to his car. Soon the powerful engine sprang to life and roared down the road. She watched the red tail lights disappear and touched her fingertips to her swollen lips. She slowly closed the door, a dreamy expression on her face.

  Sean became a part of Valerie's life. When he was free from his duties at the base, he would show her parts of the famous city that she hadn't known existed. Her breath caught in her throat when they would walk along and Sean would lift her hand, pressing his lips against her open palm, sending liquid fire through her veins. She soon didn't want to think of what the future would be like without him.

  One of their favorite haunts became the zoo. Watching the panthers pace restlessly, she glanced sideways under her lashes, comparing the tall, lean man standing next to her to the graceful jungle animals. A dark shirt and pants emphasized his wide shoulders and lean hips. His forearms were resting on the top of the fence, the fingers linked together. Sean's dark brown hair reflected gold highlights in the bright sunlight. Valerie's eyes traveled over his strong face, noting dark eyebrows over expressive eyes, the faint bump on his nose, and the cynical twist to his sensual mouth.

  "Keep it up and I won't be responsible for the consequences." A low voice invaded her thoughts.

  "What do you mean?" She looked up coyly.

  "You know perfectly well what I mean, so don't play the fool with me." His words were clipped, cold.

  Hurt by his sudden anger, she lowered her head to hide the tears pricking her eyelids. The back of a brown hand gently stroked her cheek.

  "People will think I beat you, cat eyes," he murmured. "Strange, you seem so self-assured, yet you're such a little girl underneath. I have trouble finding out which you really are."

  "Sometimes I'm not even sure myself," she whispered, her eyes still downcast.

  "Let's go," Sean said crisply.

  As the day passed, Valerie could feel his continued withdrawal, hurting her even more. In self-defense, she also withdrew, not caring that she was behaving like the child he was determined to consider her.

  "How about some dinner?" Sean's brusque voice interrupted her feelings of self-misery.

  "I don't care." Valerie shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

  Sighing heavily, he directed her to a popular Chinese restaurant. Their meal was silent as she idly picked at her food. Sean pushed his plate aside, lighting a cigarette, and leaned back in his chair, his eyes narrowed against the smoke curling upward.

  "I think you've played with your food long enough," he said abruptly, signaling the waiter. "Let's get out of here."

  "I'm not finished," Valerie mumbled.

  "Yes, you are," he said flatly.

  Outside in the cool air, he looked down at her set features as if regretting his harsh words. "Would you care to look through some of the shops?"

  "I want to go home," she replied tightly, walking away from him.

  When they arrived at the car, she stared numbly ahead as he unlocked the passenger's door. She could feel his eyes on her, but refused to look up. Muttering a savage oath under his breath, he pulled her roughly into his arms, his hard mouth bruising her soft one. Struggling against the steel bands holding her, Valerie could feel the tears roll down her face in mute protest at his burning kiss. A soft moan was torn from her throat as he lifted his lips a fraction above hers.

  "You're a witch, Valerie Rhodes, and by all rights I should be miles away from you," he muttered thickly, burying his face in her softly scented hair.

  "Then why aren't you?" she asked breathlessly, resting her cheek against his chest.

  "Because I am a fool." He quickly released her and pushed her into the car.

  The silence was heavy during the drive back to Valerie's house. Sean shut off the engine, staring straight ahead.<
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  "Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked softly.

  "I don't think so, Val." His voice was bleak.

  "The—the next day, then?" She feared his answer.

  "No, Val."

  The final ring to his words struck her heart with a chill.

  "A-are you going away?" Valerie could barely whisper because of the lump in her throat.

  "It isn't wise for us to see each other anymore." Sean's voice was painfully gentle. "You need to be with younger men. A girl as beautiful as you shouldn't have any problem finding someone."

  Valerie bit her lower lip to still its trembling.

  "You're a sweet kid. I don't want to hurt you," he said heavily, turning to place his fingertips against her cheek.

  Childishly, she slapped his hand away, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I suppose I should be grateful that you've been so kind to a child like me," Valerie said bitterly. "And now your good deed is done. I'm sure you'll understand why I can't be polite

  right now like the good little girl I am and thank you for a nice time."

  "Val!" She ignored him as she flung herself out of the car and ran for the front door, thankful to find it unlocked. Once inside, she flipped the latch and leaned against the door, breathing heavily. It seemed ages before the car's powerful engine sprang to life, revving up more than necessary before roaring away.

  When she finally slipped into bed that night, the tears still refused to fall.

  As the days passed, Valerie's misery became more evident. Even Shelly, her closest friend, couldn't bring her back to life. "Considering the short time you knew him, you fell awfully hard," she ventured one day.

  "At least I didn't break any bones," Valerie said wryly. "With luck, the scars won't even show."

  "A group of us are going up to the Napa Valley tomorrow. Come with us," Shelly urged.

  "No, thanks." She smiled faintly, shaking her head. "I'll be fine, Shel. Honest."

  Chapter Two

  The next day, Valerie found the silence, of the house unbearable. She finally escaped outside to walk along the beach.

  After walking a short distance, she dropped down to build a sand castle. During her task, she had the uneasy feeling of being watched, but quick glances around the beach and at a large house sitting on the cliff proved fruitless. Turning back to her lopsided castle, she squashed it down with her hands before looking up to stare out over the water.

  "Val?" The deep voice from behind caused her to stiffren.

  "Go away," she managed to choke out, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

  "Val, talk to me." His voice was more insistent than coaxing.

  "You didn't want to see me anymore," she said stubbornly, refusing to look up at him.

  Sean walked around her and squatted on his heels to face her. Still refusing to look at him, she concentrated on a point over his left shoulder.

  "You can't look out there all day, infant." His voice was caressing.

  She tipped her head slightly to let a curtain of hair fall, hiding her face from his eyes. "It's a public beach," she muttered. "Just go away."

  A lean brown hand shot out, jerking her head around to face him fully. Green eyes full of confusion and hurt faced brown eyes, seeing gold glints dance in anger.

  "You're acting like a spoiled brat who needs a good spanking," Sean said tightly. "And, as you said, it's a public beach."

  "You didn't want to see me anymore," she whispered. "And I don't want to see you. So you can just go back to where you came from-"

  "Do you mean that?" His face appeared carved from stone.

  "Yes." Valerie choked out the word.

  Sean studied her set face for several moments before suddenly releasing her chin. He slowly rose to his feet and walked up the beach without a backward glance. Valerie turned wide-eyed, fighting the tears threatening to overflow. Sean, clad only in a pair of jeans cut off above the knees, walked sure-footedly in the soft sand toward a wooden stairway winding upward to the house sitting on the cliff.

  "No, please don't go, Sean," she cried under her breath, then raised her voice. "Sean!"

  He slowly turned around, but the stony look on his rugged features told her that she would have to make the first move. Valerie chewed her lower lip, fighting an inner battle with her pride. She rose slowly, tears streaming down her face.

  "You told me to leave you alone," he said harshly, his hands on his hips.

  "Only because you said it would be better if I saw other men. You practically called me a child." Her pride lost out to her emotions as she walked slowly toward him. Curiosity soon got the best of her. "Why are you here?"

  "You didn't seem to want to know a few moments ago," Sean said roughly.

  Valerie childishly wiped her damp face with the back of her hand as she stopped in front of his rigid figure.

  "Do you want me to go away?" he demanded.

  "No." Her voice trembled.

  His eyes softened as his fingertips touched the salty dampness below her eyes. His hand curled around the nape of her neck, drawing her closer to him. Valerie stiffened at his touch.

  "Don't fight me, Val," Sean said huskily, touching her trembling lips with his firm, warm ones with fleeting pressure.

  "But you said—" she choked, still unable to stop her tears.

  "The devil with what I said." He pulled her hard against him, stilling her tearful protests with his mouth, rough against hers.

  Valerie's mind whirled as Sean's mouth moved sensually over hers, demanding a response she freely gave. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she arched her body against his, wanting to be as close to him as possible. She moaned softly in protest when he lifted his head a fraction. Although her senses were still swimming from his masterful kiss, a small part of her mind was still puzzled by his sudden appearance.

  "Why did you come here?" she asked breathlessly.

  "We need to talk," he said firmly, pulling her back against him.

  "Is that what we did the last time?" Bitterness tinged her voice.

  "Come on," Sean said impatiently, pulling her up the stairs.

  Valerie's eyes lifted upward. "You live up there?" Her voice ended in a surprised squeak.

  "I have the loan of it," he said briefly, tugging on her hand. "Are you coming?"

  The tremulous smile on her face was her answer as she followed him up the stairs.

  Once inside the large, sunlit living room, Valerie looked around with interest at the clever blending of earth tones brightened by touches of orange.

  "I'll put some steaks on the barbecue if you want to throw together a salad or whatever," Sean suggested, steering her toward the kitchen. "You can cook, can't you?"

  "Of course I can!" she said indignantly before she realized he was teasing.

  Valerie enjoyed rummaging through the compact kitchen as she found the makings for a tossed green salad and garlic bread. She started as arms encircled her waist, pulling her back against a hard, bare chest.

  "I think I'd rather eat you for dinner," Sean muttered against her neck. "I want to lock you away and keep you all to myself." He turned her around in his arms and pressed a lingering kiss on her lips. "However, I'd better get back to the steaks." He was reluctant to release her.

  Valerie watched him leave with a confused look in her eyes. She picked up plates and silverware to set the table as the phone rang.

  "Val, would you answer that, please?" Sean called over his shoulder. "If I leave these steaks now, they'll burn for sure."

  She hurried over to a dark brown telephone sitting on a table near the couch. "Hunter residence," she said crisply.

  "Jay? Hi, it's Anne. I heard that Sean's back in town." A very feminine, husky voice purred in her ear. "When did the darling arrive?"

  "This isn't Jay," Valerie said stiffly, a cold knot developing in her stomach. "Would you like to speak to Sean?"

  "Oh, he's there?" The voice sounded surprised at first, then turned to light amusement. "Yes, actually, I would."

>   Valerie set the receiver down and walked woodenly out to the terrace. "Someone named Anne would like to speak to you." She tried to make her voice sound casual.

  "Tell her I can't—" Sean looked up, spying her set facial expression. "Okay, I'll talk to her." He hurriedly piled the cooked meat on a platter, pushing it into her hands. "Want to put this on the table for me?" He walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver.

  "Hi, Anne." Was it her imagination, or did his voice sound irritated? "Oh, about six weeks ago...No, she's still in Spain...Friday night? I don't think so." Sean bent down, picking up a cigarette pack and extracting one before picking up a table lighter. He exhaled the smoke slowly through his nostrils. "No, really I don't—" He sighed heavily. "Well, I'll let you know. Goodbye, Anne."

  While he had been on the phone, Valerie had seated herself at the table, her face a mask of indifference. Sean left the room for a moment and returned wearing a dark gold knit shirt that accented the breadth of his shoulders. Casting a lazy grin at her, he picked up his plate and silverware, which had been set across from her, and placed them on her right. "Too far away. And I forgot something."