The Academy Volume One

by Maxine Mansfield

  A growl rumbled through the bared, fang-like teeth of the nogard while its whip-like, demonic tail flicked to and fro making a whooshing sound.

  “Tempest of passion, tempest of light, protect what’s within with all of your might. Tempest of truth, tempest of wonder, keep safe this dragon with a voice of thunder.”

  The ledge below his feet shook so violently with the crash and rumble of sound, Adan almost lost his footing. It told him one thing. Lizbeth wasn’t going to stop, no matter what he demanded, until this was finished, so he might as well get it done. Though the thought of her putting herself in the line of danger chilled him to the bone, it also filled him with pride.

  From the corner of his eye, Adan watched as first Uthiel, Sarco, then Leeky, were deposited on the ledge directly behind the nogard. Up again Carnelian flew. Only Ray was left to be collected.

  Uthiel hefted his broadsword, Sarco readied a fireball, and Leeky removed his leather gloves and replaced them with his golden wielding-daggers ones. It was now or never.

  Adan lunged, aiming for the space between the nogard’s scales on the left side of its chest. The beast was quick, though, and side-stepped the assault.

  The nogard lashed out with its sharp talons and slashed across the top of the arm Adan used to handle the Blade of Gin. Blood oozed from the cut and ran freely, dripping to his wrist.

  From behind, he heard Lizbeth gasp, but her voice didn’t falter. Adan switched hands. Again, the nogard lunged, but this time he was ready. Adan nodded toward his companions. Uthiel brought down his broadsword, and the impact of the blade against impenetrable scale slowed the forward progression of the monster.

  Sarco let fly his fireball, and the nogard screamed in anger. Leeky ran toward the beast and, with lightning speed, plunged both daggers between its taloned toes. The nogard glanced down at the gnome and kicked him. Leeky went flying across the ledge, barely managing to hang onto the side.

  Adan plunged the Blade of Gin deep into the nogard’s chest, slicing through the scale as if it were no denser than butter and burying itself deep.

  The beast screeched, twisted, and backed away. The momentum took Adan along.

  The last sight Adan Hammerstrike had before plunging over the side of the ledge and down into the watery abyss was the look of sheer horror in his wife’s eyes.

  ****

  Lizbeth’s heart stopped, and time slowed.

  The flapping of wings overhead filled Lizbeth’s ears with a roar, but at the same time, broke her heart. It told her two things. One, Carnelian was finally bringing Ray down to the ledge, and two, the dragon wouldn’t have time to deliver Ray and still save Adan.

  She watched in helpless desperation as the man who held her heart tumbled backwards. Lizbeth flung out both arms as if to catch him, her precious book of enchantments falling, unheeded, to the ground. It was of no use, though.

  She couldn’t glance away for even the dropping of a single grain of sand as Adan and the nogard toppled. He clung to the knife still embedded in the nogard’s chest and gazed back at her, a look of regret in his eyes.

  Lizbeth screamed, but the wind swallowed the sound.

  A single ray of sunshine broke through the clouds at the same time there was a sudden commotion behind her. Lizbeth turned, stunned by the sight. Obsidian stood, his scaled wings unfurled, once black as midnight, they now glowed golden where the sun’s rays lit upon them.

  With a whoosh, the dragon flew over the side of the cliff, and Lizbeth tried to follow. The only thing stopping her were the arms of Uthiel and Sarco, holding her back, while Leeky clung to one of her legs.

  The gnome let go and wagged his finger at her. “What the puked-up pork rinds from the belly of an inebriated dwarf dandy doing the hokey-pokey with a trio of troll transvestites were ya thinking, lass? Ya can’t help him. Give Obsidian a chance, ya’ll see. If it’s possible, he’ll bring Adan back safe and sound. Jumping off the side of a ledge after him is just plain insane.”

  Lizbeth did stop. There was no fight left in her. Silently, she slumped to the ground and sobbed.

  The sunshine disappeared, angry lightning streaked the sky, thunder crashed, the wind howled, and snow so heavy it blanketed the landscape fell.

  ****

  He wasn’t dead.

  Adan wasn’t quite sure why he wasn’t dead, but he wasn’t. What he was, though, was wet and cold, very wet and cold. Though the water was no deeper than his chest, the impact into the lake below the waterfall had drenched him to the skin. The snow falling on him wasn’t helping matters, either.

  The nogard, however, was another story. Adan stared at the creature. Its bulging eyes were closed. No more did its nostrils flair or its mouth hiss. It simply floated upon the surface of the lake, the Blade of Gin protruding from its chest. He poked it once, then poked it again. Dead, yes, it was most assuredly dead.

  But why wasn’t he dead? A fall from that height should’ve killed any normal mortal. Though Adan knew he was bigger and stronger than most, he had no illusions of immortality.

  Then he felt it. Then he knew. It pulsed against his chest and gave off a soul-warming heat. It glowed even through the leather of his clothing.

  Adan grasped the talisman of protection Lizbeth had fashioned for him. He pulled it out from beneath his tunic and stared at it. The talisman had worked. The spell she’d spoken had really worked. He was alive, and he had his wonderfully magical enchantress of a wife to thank for it.

  The sight of Obsidian landing gracefully upon the lake brought a sigh of relief to Adan’s lips. The thought of lugging the heavy dead nogard out of the lake and up the snowy hill wasn’t something Adan had looked forward to. The dragon scooped up the lifeless beast with one talon and Adan in the other.

  The barbarian smiled all the way to the ledge. The nogard was dead, he and Lizbeth could get on with their lives, and now he’d have the chance to make sure his Lizard, never forgot just how magical she was.

  ****

  There almost wasn’t room on the ledge for Obsidian to land. Lark, Briar, and Laycee had come out from the cave, and along with Carnelian, Uthiel, Sarco, Leeky, and Ray, they all lined the small space.

  Adan couldn’t help but grin as he yelled down to them. “Clear the runway, dragon about to land.”

  They scattered, all of them that is except for Lizbeth. She stood rooted to her spot at the edge of the ledge as if frozen.

  The moment Obsidian released him, Adan wrapped his wife in his arms. She melted against him, and he kissed away her tears.

  “I-I-I thought you were dead.”

  With a finger, Adan tucked an errant strand of toffee-colored hair behind her slightly pointed ear and stroked her cheek. “If it hadn’t been for you, my little enchantress, I would have been.”

  Lizbeth shook her head. “What?”

  Adan lifted the talisman of protection from beneath his tunic and held it out. It still glowed with energy. “It worked, Lizbeth. Your magic worked. I’ll never again doubt you or your abilities. You can protect us whenever you like.”

  Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks once more. Adan waited, anxious for her response, when the sound of someone else sobbing distracted not only him, but everyone else as well.

  It was the strangest sight. There sat Ray, kneeling before the dead nogard, crying as if his heart were broken.

  The little human glared up at Adan. “Murderer!” His face filled with rage. “You didn’t even try to capture it. Look what you’ve done. All is lost. I was going to be so rich. Your mother, the Queen, promised me all the platt I could carry if we brought the nogard back alive. She said as long as the beast lived, people would never forgive and forget what your…your wife did.”

  Ray stood, blew his nose, and wiped it on his shirtsleeve. “You just wait. I’ll get all of you. I’ve been keeping notes, you know. I’m going to tell the Council every dirty little detail I can think of and some I’ve even made up. You’ll be outcasts when I get finished with you, all of
you.”

  Leeky crossed the short space between them and patted Ray gently on the back. “What the bald belly on a feather-plucking parrot watching an ogre orgy from the confines of his cage are ya talking about, lad? Ya know as well as the rest of us do there was no choice but ta kill the thing. It was either the nogard or us. It’s over, let it go.”

  Ray backed away. “You…you…you struck me! You’re trying to kill me. You think you can silence me, don’t you? But you can’t.” He continued to backup. Just as Ray stepped perilously close to the edge of the ledge, Adan, Uthiel, and Sarco rushed forward to catch him.

  It was too late.

  By the time they reached him, Ray had lost his balance and plummeted over the edge. With arms and legs flailing, he yelled, “Murderers, murderers, murderers.”

  Adan rubbed his jaw. “I suppose someone should go get him.”

  Lizbeth wasn’t so calm. “Oh, my God. We’ve killed Ray!” Adan stroked her back. “He’s not dead. We couldn’t get that lucky. He’s wearing the talisman you made him, remember?”

  Uthiel spoke. “I’ll send Carnelian. She can fish him out of the lake.”

  Leeky objected. “Naw, don’t waste the dragons. We need them ta carry the lasses back up top, not ta mention the dead nogard. I’ll go get him. It’s my fault he fell off in the first place. Never should’ve touched the little peckerhead.” He glanced over the edge as he took off his golden dagger-wielding gloves and replaced them with a pair of muddy-looking brown ones. “Shimmying-down-things-and-climbing-back-up-’em gloves.”

  The gnome smiled then sighed. “Anyway, I better get going. It ain’t getting any lighter. If ya all get a move on now, ya can be through the portal and back ta the Academy before morning. Ray and I will meet ya there.”

  Laycee placed her hands on her hips and stuck out her jaw. “And just how was ya thinking of getting down there ta Ray, Leeky Shortz? Did ya think ya could climb all the way down without falling and busting ya head? Or was ya just gonna throw yaself over the edge like ya was afraid Lizbeth was gonna do a few grains of sand ago?”

  Leeky chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Seemed like a reasonable plan.”

  Laycee sighed as she pulled something plastic from the pocket of her pants. “I was saving this for just the right time. I guess that’s now.”

  Leeky’s face lit up like a sunrise when he spotted the only thing not plastic on the object. It was a little white, furry bunny tail. “My Miss Bunny! Aww, Laycee, lass. Ya do know how ta make my short and curlies stand up and wiggle, don’t ya?”

  Laycee pinkened. “Flatterer.”

  Adan almost choked. “What on Albrath are you going to do with the doll this time, Leeky?”

  The gnome grinned from ear to ear as he slipped off the shimmying-climbing gloves and replaced them with his soft, fuzzy pink touching-a-lady pair. He squeezed Miss Bunny’s nipples and popped out the air tubes hidden within them. “Well, as soon as you lads blow her up for me, I plan ta surf her down the side of this waterfall. Uthiel, ya take the right tit and Sarco can have a go at the left one.”

  He grinned at Adan as he turned Miss Bunny around and lifted her furry little tail out of the way, exposing yet another air tube right between her ass cheeks. “Saved the best one for ya, Adan. Once ya’ve tasted plastic, there’s nothing more fantastic. Okay, boys, get ta blowing.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Though it was still more the middle of the night than morning, Lizbeth was anxious to get the presentation of the nogard over with. A momentary twinge of guilt plagued her for tolling The Academy’s emergency bells, but not enough to prevent her from doing it. She tugged once more on the heavy cord, ringing them for the third time. The vibrations shook the tower.

  She sighed. The Council would undoubtedly be angry with her for waking them, but she couldn’t help it. There was no way she could wait even one more turn of the hourglass to learn her fate.

  As quickly as they could travel, with Adan, Uthiel, and Sarco carrying the dead nogard, the group made its way to the formal meeting hall.

  No sooner had the heavy double doors of the hall closed behind them than an angry voice rang out. “This had better be important. I’m over nine hundred years old, and you can bet I get a little cranky when awakened before my usual hour.”

  Lizbeth stepped forward, looked around, and gulped. She knew ringing the emergency bell would bring The Academy officials, but she hadn’t expected this. The hall was near to bursting at its seams. It looked as if every single resident was in attendance.

  Even the Queen, with King Alfred at her side, sat next to Headmistress Seychelle, a look of complete disdain upon her face.

  Lizbeth gulped once more and stiffened her spine. “I am sorry for waking you, Wizard Arizon, but I thought you’d want to know straight away that the nogard is no longer a threat.”

  Adan, Uthiel, and Sarco walked forward and laid the body of the dead nogard, with the Blade of Gin still protruding from its chest, at Arizon’s feet.

  The old wizard nodded. “So I see.”

  He didn’t get to say anything else before an ear-splitting scream deafened the room.

  Queen Allanna Zanlynn Calista Hammerstrike stood, her face a picture of rage. She pointed one perfectly manicured finger toward Lizbeth. “You did this. You’re responsible. The nogard was supposed to be brought back alive for study. Where is Raynorel? What have you done with him? I demand to hear his report!” She tapped her toe. “Well, where is he?”

  Whispers and speculation came from every corner of the hall.

  Adan glared at his mother. “I killed the nogard. No one else. It was him or me. There was no other choice.”

  The Queen scoffed. “I see you’ve been taken in by your…your…wife. Him or you, poppycock. I don’t believe that for a moment. I should’ve guessed this would happen. Men, you’re all alike. Only thinking with your…nether parts. I expected more of my son, though. Where is Raynorel, or did you kill him, too?”

  Lizbeth gulped, her cheeks burned with a combination of anger and guilt. She was about to try and explain when the doors of the hall crashed open.

  In swaggered Leeky Shortz with his blow-up doll under one arm and leading a sopping wet Ray with the other. The little human dripped with every step he took. His eyes were glassy, and his stringy brown hair lay plastered in clumps on his head. Even his boots squished as he walked.

  Leeky bowed before Arizon. “Sorry we’re late for the party. What the prickly heat rash on the backside of a sunburnt, nakey halfling, skinny-dipping in the local honeypot did we miss?”

  Queen Allanna huffed. “It’s about time you got here. Gnome, you be quiet. Raynorel, give the council your report.”

  The Queen smirked at Lizbeth. “I’m sure we would all like to hear what really happened.”

  Leeky flipped off the queen, but still urged Ray forward until the little human stood directly before Wizard Arizon.

  Lizbeth held her breath. She knew from his stiff stance, Adan was holding his, too. Neither had any idea what Ray would say nor how damaging it would be.

  A hush fell over the hall, every eye glued to Ray.

  The soggy human looked up at Arizon, pulled his ruined notebook from his pocket, opened it, and grinned. “Ray loves cock,” he yelled.

  Queen Allanna screeched. “What have you done to him?”

  Leeky shrugged his shoulders. “He fell in the water, I pulled him out, and all he’s been saying all the way here is how much he loves cock. The dip in the pool must’ve traumatized him back to his old self is all I can figure.”

  High Wizard Arizon leaned toward Adan and Lizbeth, and whispered, “Is she always like this, the Queen?”

  Adan nodded, but Lizbeth simply sighed.

  “How do you stand it? Never mind. Remind me after these proceedings, I think I have just the thing. It’ll make your lives more…bearable. Trust me.” To the assembly in the hall, his voice boomed. “I will have silence!”

  Ray jumped up and down.
“Ray loves cock. Ray loves cock. Ray loves cock.”

  “Silence!” Arizon demanded.

  Headmistress Seychelle rushed forward. “Of course, you love cock, sweetums. Come along with Mistress, and I’ll get you one.”

  Ray turned toward the headmistress, looked up at her with such sadness in his eyes, and whimpered, “Ray loves cock.”

  “I know you do, pet.” Seychelle placed a protective arm about Ray’s shoulder and led him away.

  Wizard Arizon pointed to the blade protruding from the nogard’s chest. “I see you were able to procure the Blade of Gin, after all. Knowing the leader of the trolls as I do, that couldn’t have been an easy task. What kind of bargain did you have to strike with, Camel Toe…I mean, Karla, to get your hands on it?”

  Queen Allanna shouted. “I have no doubt my daughter-in-law obtained it by illegal means. She needs to be punished.”

  Lizbeth’s cheeks burned. She opened her mouth to answer, but no sound came forth.

  Adan didn’t seem to have that problem. He cleared his throat, bent down, and extracted the knife, then wiped it clean upon his breeks and glared at his mother before turning toward Arizon. “It was completely legal and surprisingly easy. We offered Karla something she couldn’t resist as a deposit, so to speak, until such time as we returned the blade.”

  A look of wonder crossed Arizon’s wrinkled old face. “What on Albrath did you offer?”

  Adan mumbled. “O.T.T.”

  Arizon leaned in a little closer. “Come again?”

  The entire group began talking at once. Lizbeth finally found her voice. “We didn’t force him. Well, not really, anyway.

  Uthiel shouted, “It was a brilliant strategy if you think about it.”

  Briar cried, “It was the only way.”

  “It had to be done,” Lark insisted while Sarco nodded furiously.

  Laycee dropped to her knees before the old wizard and cried, “He would’ve wanted it that way. I just know he would’ve.”