Her Cowboy Dilemma

by C. J. Carmichael

  “Thanks for telling me that, Jackson. Do you think they’d let me visit her in the hospital?”

  He thought about it for a moment. “You’re family. Why not?”

  * * *

  CASSIDY HEADED BACK to the house then and found her mother sitting on the open tailgate of Cassidy’s old Ford.

  “What’s this?” Olive asked, waving at the boxes and suitcases in the back.

  Earlier in the day Cassidy had packed her things, knowing that she couldn’t wait until she’d heard about the job in Billings to start making changes in her life.

  “I’m going to move, Mom. Into my own place. I know Brock’s cabin is vacant. I’d like to stay there for Sky’s sake. And I’ll pay rent.”

  “Rent? Your brothers never paid rent, why should you? But moving into Brock’s cabin is ridiculous. The house is plenty big enough for both of us. You don’t really blame me for the strangles, do you?”

  And truly, at that moment, Olive looked so small and vulnerable that it was almost impossible to believe.

  “Besides,” she added, her voice trembling a little, “we just redecorated your room.”

  Cassidy had expected her mother to take this tack. And while it was still effective, she’d prepared herself to handle it. “The room is beautiful, yes, but I warned you at the time I wouldn’t be staying long.”

  Cassidy could tell her mother didn’t know what to say. She’d done everything she could, played every card in her deck of tricks, but it wasn’t working. She wanted Cassidy here, living with her. She wanted her working on the ranch and being the treasurer for the Heritage Committee. And, eventually, she wanted her to marry Dan Farley.

  “This is crazy, honey.” Olive raked a hand through her thick silver-blond hair. “I was planning to offer Brock’s cottage to Winnie.”

  Cassidy didn’t argue, even though she knew Corb had suggested this very thing, only to have Olive shoot down the suggestion. He’d also raised the idea of giving Winnie a cash settlement worth at least a portion of Brock’s estate. After all, if Brock had died just two hours later, Winnie would have been his wife and entitled to everything.

  But Olive was almost pathologically opposed to any part of the ranch going to someone who wasn’t “family.” Of course Winnie now had a son who was family. So maybe that was why she’d decided to make a gift of the cottage.

  “I’m fine with that, Mom. Go ahead and give the cabin to Winnie and I’ll ask her if I can rent the apartment over the Cinnamon Stick.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake! Move into the cabin then. Who knows when Winnie Hayes will be back in town, anyway. Maybe never.”

  “Are you sure, Mom? ’Cause I don’t mind—”

  “I’m sure,” she snapped. Then she shook her head. “What has gotten into you, daughter?”

  There were lots of answers to that question. Some Olive would have found quite unkind. So Cassidy stuck with the obvious. “I’ve just grown up. That’s all.”

  * * *

  THAT SUNDAY CASSIDY drove into Great Falls to visit her aunt. When she gave her name and explained that she was a niece, she was allowed to visit her in the semiprivate room.

  She’d brought flowers. A vase of pretty tulips. It seemed the least she could do for a woman who had tended her brother’s roadside memorial so faithfully, for so long.

  “Cassidy. This is a surprise.”

  Maddie was sitting upright in her bed, connected to an intravenous line and dressed in a blue cotton gown. Her face looked gaunt and her hair grayer than ever, but her eyes were still that beautiful green.

  “Jackson told me you were sick. I’m so sorry.”

  “Sit down. And thank you for the flowers. I’ve always loved tulips.”

  A curtain shielded the other patient from Cassidy’s view, but she heard an older woman’s husky voice say, “Me, too. Put them where we can both see them, love.”

  “Cassidy, meet June,” Maddie said. “My partner in misery.”

  “Hey, June. Nice to meet you. How about I put the flowers here on the ledge at the back of the room. That way, when the curtain is pulled back, both of you can enjoy them.”

  “Nice to meet you, too, Cassidy. I’ve heard all about you. But don’t pull back the curtain now, love. I’m not decent back here.”

  June had heard all about her? Cassidy wasn’t sure what to make of that. Had Maddie told her everything about their family?

  “Seems you lucked out with your neighbor,” she commented to her aunt and Maddie smiled.

  “Indeed. It’s wonderful to have someone to talk to.”

  “Maybe you’d like to talk to me, too, now that I’m here?”

  “Why, of course. What would you like to talk about?”

  “I’d like to know what the big family feud is about. What in the world happened, Aunt Maddie?”

  It was the first time she’d ever linked those two words together. The effect was touching. Her aunt’s eyes fluttered and tears blossomed like heavy dew drops.

  “Oh, Cassidy. There aren’t enough words... Have you tried talking to your mother?”

  “I can’t. But I’ve heard that she’s angry because you wouldn’t let her see her father before he died.”

  Maddie sighed and turned her head ever so slightly away. “Yes. I suppose that’s the story.”

  “But you wouldn’t do that, would you?” Even as she asked the question, Cassidy knew the answer was no. She could see the genuine pain in her aunt’s eyes.

  Her aunt was silent for at least a minute. And when she finally spoke again, her voice held a core of steel resolve. “I’ve been given six months, Cassidy. I don’t want to end my days by spreading more discord among the family. It means a lot to me that you came to visit. Thank you.”

  “That’s it? You’re not going to tell me anything?”

  “I can’t, sweetheart. It really is better this way.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Farley was shoeing the first horse of the afternoon at the Monahans’ place on Wednesday afternoon when he heard a familiar-sounding voice.

  “Come this way, baby. That’s a girl.”

  She sounded so much like Cassidy, he stepped out from the stalls with his alligator clinchers still in hand. There was a round arena right in front of the barn and sure enough, Cassidy was at the center of the pen working with a frisky bay mare.

  With a wide-legged gait to accommodate the farrier chaps protecting his thighs, he started toward the fence. Cassidy had on her working boots and jeans, a pale pink tank top and her white hat. She must have stripped off her shirt earlier in the day. He could see it fluttering in the breeze from a fence post by the gate.

  It was warm, that was for sure. There was a damp patch between her shoulder blades. And she paused to swipe the back of her arm over her forehead.

  That was when she spotted him.

  “Farley?” She let go of the lunge line. As she walked toward him, the gentled bay followed. As soon as she noticed, Cassidy smiled and paused. “Hey, girl, you’re getting the idea now, aren’t you? Here’s your carrot. Hang on a minute now while I talk to my friend.”

  Disregarding the gate, she climbed over the fence, hopping down to the earth-packed ground right beside him.

  “Hey, Farley.” Her gaze swept over his chaps and the tool in his hand. “Shoeing some horses today?”

  He nodded. “Les Felding and I just started the first one. How about you? What are you doing here?”

  Whatever she was doing, she looked good. Like she belonged. An equine training center was the perfect place for someone like Cassidy and he wondered why he hadn’t realized that before. A faint hope kindled in him as he waited for her answer.

  “When I ran into Straws the other day at the café he said they’d just lost one of their instructors. I called him up later and told him I could help him out for a while. He has me working with some of their new young horses this week. Starting Monday he wants me to run a barrel racing camp for middle-grade girls. By the time that’s over, h
opefully I’ll be starting my new job.”

  “In Billings?”

  “Yeah. I haven’t heard yet. But my fingers are crossed.”

  He should have known. When the hell was he going to stop being such a fool over this woman? The pretty receptionist at Monahan’s front office had flirted daringly with him earlier. He should have asked her out.

  Cassidy shuffled her boots in the dirt, then glanced up at him, almost shyly. “This is quite the operation, isn’t it?”

  “Straws runs a first-class outfit. Some of the top names in rodeo have been to his clinics. I’m going to the steer wrestling one next Sunday.”

  “Preparing for the Wild Rogue?”

  “Yeah. B.J. called me on the weekend and confirmed our plans. He’s registering in the saddle bronc event and tie-down roping.”

  “He’ll be after the big purse.” Cassidy looked proud of her older brother.

  Farley hesitated. He should leave it at that. But in the end, he couldn’t stop himself from adding, “B.J. wants you to come, too.”

  He saw a wistful yearning cross her face, just seconds before she shook her head. “If I get the job I won’t be able to take the time off. And I’d have no time or place to practice.”

  She was pretty quick with her excuses. Frankly, he was just as glad. “What does your mother think about you working here?”

  “She isn’t impressed. But her opinions don’t sway me, anymore.”

  She said this definitively, and he realized that Olive had finally crossed a line that had changed everything between mother and daughter.

  “You still living at the house?”

  She shook her head. “In Brock’s cabin. I was tempted to move into town, but that would have been tough on Sky. Coffee Creek Ranch is the only home she knows. I wish I could take her with me when I go to Billings. But I’ve thought about what you said and I realize that wouldn’t be fair. She was happy with Corb and Laurel before. They’ll give her a good home.”

  He fought back the urge to tell her that there was another solution here, staring her right in the face. She had to know how he felt about her. How he couldn’t stop feeling about her. He knew he was being a fool, but there was just no choice. Not for him.

  He loved her. He felt as if he always had.

  But even if she wasn’t leaving Coffee Creek, she would never feel the same way about him. She’d proven that when she ran out on him the other night.

  Cassidy had her plans, and she’d never wavered from them.

  And maybe he should be grateful she was going to move to the city. If he couldn’t have her, it would be easier this way. Perhaps one day he’d forget her enough to fall in love with someone else.

  Then again, she’d been out of his life for four years and he’d come undone after just one look at her at the Cinnamon Stick Café.

  “Farley, I want to apologize again for everything me and my family put you through.”

  “You don’t need to apologize for your family. It was you who walked out the door after we made love. Not your mother or your brothers. You.”

  There. He’d put it to her plain.

  She winced. “I was upset. I’d lost my horse, and—”

  “Sure, you were upset. And for a while I worried that I may have taken advantage of that. But I don’t think so anymore. I think you took advantage of me. Maybe you thought having sex would make the pain go away for a while. But it wasn’t a diversion for me.”

  Her eyes were huge as she stared up at him. “Farley, I—”

  “It’s good that you’re moving to Billings. I think a little distance from you is just what I need right now.”

  Tears started to build in her eyes, and his gut clenched at the sight. Damn her for knowing just how to get to him.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you. If you’re trying to do the same to me, I have to tell you it’s working.”

  He resisted the urge to wipe away the tears. To hold out his arms. “This isn’t about hurting you. It’s about me not being someone to help you pass the time until you hear from that damn accounting firm.”

  “No.” She grabbed his arm and held on tight. “You were never that. You mean so much to me, Farley. Can’t you see it in my eyes?”

  For a second he almost believed her. But then the fates intervened and saved him from himself.

  “Hey, Doc,” an irritated voice called out from the stables. “You planning to shoe all four of this here horse’s hoofs? Or just the one?”

  “Be right there, Les.” Farley pulled away, then angled his body back toward the stables, giving her one last look over his shoulder. She hadn’t started back to the arena yet. She was still looking at him, her expression almost...wistful?

  “See you around, Cass.”

  “Yes. See you around.”

  * * *

  CASSIDY DIDN’T KNOW why she spent more time that afternoon reliving the encounter with Farley than she did checking her phone for messages from Cushman and Green. She felt as if there was something left unsaid between them and it worried her.

  He’d done so much to help her since she’d come home. He’d fixed up Sky after the coyote attack, and he’d been there for her when Finnegan died, too.

  He’d been the only one to offer the support she’d needed then. And what had happened after, well, it had been magical and she couldn’t understand herself, why she had felt the urge to go home after.

  He’d thought she was running from him.

  But maybe she’d been running from herself and feelings that were just too big for her to contain.

  The end result was that she had spoiled things between them again. And all she had to hold herself together was her work at Monahan’s.

  She really loved it. At the end of her second week, she was amazed by the progress her teenage girls had made with their horses. Their parents were pleased, too, and so was Straws.

  “All of them would sign up on the spot for a second session if I could confirm that you would be the instructor,” he told her on Thursday, as he passed over her check.

  Cassidy folded the paper in half and tucked it into her back pocket. “It was so much fun. Some of those girls are really talented and there were a few great horses, too. But I can’t promise anything beyond tomorrow, Mr. Monahan.”

  Back at home she ate her dinner outside, sitting in one of the wooden deck chairs looking at the lake, Sky at her feet, still damp from a quick swim.

  In the distance, she heard Laurel call for Corb to come inside for dinner. She and Stephanie had returned yesterday from their visit to Winnie’s family farm in Highwood. Apparently Winnie still wasn’t ready to come back, though she would one day, since she’d invested all her money in the Cinnamon Stick Café and couldn’t afford to sell.

  Cassidy picked at the pizza she’d heated for her dinner. Despite the hard work she put in every day, she didn’t have much appetite lately. She hadn’t been sleeping well, either.

  She supposed she was just nervous about the job. Twenty times a day she checked her phone for messages, and every night she logged on to Facebook to see if any of her classmates had been offered jobs. But all week there’d been no word. Everyone seemed to assume that she and Josh were shoo-ins, it was only the third person who was up for debate.

  Cassidy wished she could feel as confident. She kept thinking over her interview and second-guessing things she’d said and done.

  She laid the unfinished slice of pizza back on her plate and wondered what Farley was doing tonight. Maybe he’d gone back to dating Amber?

  She should be glad for him if he had. After all, it was partly her fault that the relationship had broken apart when it did.

  But the mental picture of him and Amber together didn’t make her feel glad. She felt—okay, face it—jealous. She’d told herself that making love with him had been a terrible misstep.

  The more she thought about it, though, the less like a mistake it seemed.

  But that was a crazy way to think. Farley was part of the plan tha
t her mother had made for her life. And she wasn’t doing that anymore, letting Olive control her destiny.

  Besides, Farley had made it pretty clear that he was done with her.

  Cassidy started back for the cabin with Sky at her side. She’d feel better once she heard about the job. It was probably just the suspense of waiting that was making her so unsettled.

  * * *

  THE CALL CAME on Friday. As soon as she hung up, Cassidy paused to let it soak in. She’d been offered the job. Shouldn’t she feel elated?

  But she’d been through this before, when she’d applied for college and waited to see if she’d be accepted. She’d anticipated the acceptance letter would send her through the roof with excitement, but instead all she’d felt was satisfied and relieved.

  Like she did right now.

  Cassidy phoned her mom and her brothers to pass on the news. She had to leave messages for all of them; only Corb answered and professed that he was proud of her.

  She doubted that she would have received such a civil comment from her mother.

  When she’d finished the calls, she picked up the phone, hesitating over another number. She really wanted to tell Farley. But she was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear from her.

  So instead of phoning Farley she logged on to Facebook and checked her friends’ status feeds. Within five minutes the news had been posted. Both Josh Brown and another one of their classmates, Adrienne Itani, had made the final cut. Cassidy confirmed her own good news, then sat back and thought about everything she had to do.

  They’d been asked to start work the following Monday. Which meant she had the weekend to drive to Billings, find an apartment and buy some office-appropriate clothing, at least enough for a week.

  She looked down at her hands, the calluses, the dirt beneath her nails that was always so hard to clean out. Maybe she should get those fancy gel nails, too.

  * * *

  IT WAS HELL leaving Sky. Corb and Laurel promised to take good care of her, though, and to give her lots of love. Leaving Lucy was almost as hard. Even though her mother’s motives for buying the palomino were suspect, Cassidy and the horse had developed an amazing rapport.