Line in the Shadow

by Clancy Nacht

  Before Ike could say anything, he was being greeted with a thorough kiss. Rex combed his fingers through Ike’s hair. Then Rex broke the kiss to say in a teasing undertone, “Missed you, Mr. Graves.”

  The tension melted from Ike’s shoulders at the embrace. He knew he’d missed Rex, but how worried he’d been over the absence hadn’t hit Ike until now. “Am I allowed to ask where you’ve been?”

  Rex studied Ike’s face, then smiled and pressed the backs of his fingers to Ike’s cheek. It was a tender gesture, intimate. “Out of the country.” The sadness that seemed to lurk beneath so much of what Rex said lurked there too, as though he wanted to say more.

  Before Ike could ask a follow-up question, Rex pulled away. The suite’s elegant table had been set with hotel flatware and domed room service dishes clustered at its center. Rex’s laptop and stacks of files appeared to have been recently displaced onto an armchair. Surveillance photographs, handwritten notes, and professional-looking charts were stuck to the walls around the dining nook, marking it as Rex’s makeshift office. Ike guessed that the actual desk wasn’t big enough for work on Rex’s scale.

  On his previous visits, the hotel room had been almost bare. Whatever Rex’s trip had been, it must have yielded results.

  “We can eat afterward,” Rex said, cutting into Ike’s thoughts. He gave Ike’s shirt a tug and started toward the bedroom.

  Ike followed, pulling off his shirt as he walked. “So I’ve got to sing for my supper, huh? What will the hotel staff think?” Not that the staff had bothered Ike over anything. They were a nice enough hotel that they handled everything discreetly. He had, at one point, gotten a card from a businessman in the elevator who apparently thought Ike was a hustler. Before that topic could come up again, Ike changed the subject. “Was it a successful mission? I saw on the news that we lost a drone. I imagined they sent you in after it all James Bond style.”

  “You insist on thinking I’m some studly hotshot. I can’t imagine why.” Rex chuckled as he shrugged out of his suit, watching Ike undress from the corner of his eye. He gave Ike a dirty smile as he unfastened his pants. “Is that why you keep coming around? So you can pretend you’re fucking James Bond? Maybe I should stop protesting before you lose interest.”

  “You did save my life in a rather spectacular way.”

  Divested of his clothing, Rex moved to Ike’s side and wrapped both arms around him. His body was warm and vital, infused with near manic energy. The smell of Rex’s skin was clean and lightly spiced with that expensive cologne.

  Rex looked into Ike’s eyes, suddenly serious. “I thought about you every day.”

  The words sent a flush of pleasure through Ike’s naked body. Ike kissed Rex deeply, tasting cream and coffee and something uniquely Rex. Sliding his hands down Rex’s back, Ike backed them up to the bed, then tipped back to pull Rex on top of him. “I hope I wasn’t a distraction.”

  Ike rolled them over so he was on top. He straddled Rex to trace the jagged scars on his chest. “I thought about you all the time.” Ike tucked a strand of Rex’s silver-shot hair behind his ear. “But then, it’s really only one man’s kitchen floor that will suffer if I daydream.”

  “You daydream about this?” Rex sounded genuinely surprised, as if he’d supposed Ike had better things to imagine while he was remodeling houses. There was a boyish sweetness to his face as he wrapped his arms around Ike’s neck and gazed up at him. “Anyway, if I’m risking my life for a country, it’s easier when I think about why that country’s worth it. You’re a big part of it.”

  Ike kissed Rex again in reward. How could Ike possibly be worthy of that? Instead he sat and wiggled back on Rex’s thighs. He looked down at Rex laying before him, cock rigid and reaching for his navel. The man looked sleeker and more tanned–enhancements that Ike didn’t think Rex really needed, but it was good Rex was taking better care of himself.

  “I think about this a lot. I was worried you might not come back. Or that you might get back with your wife or find someone new.” That wasn’t what Ike had intended to say. It was far too honest for the dirty pillow talk preferred when they were like this. Ike frowned and shook his head. “Anyway, I missed you.”

  “The first is a valid worry. The rest...” Rex stroked Ike’s cheek, looking thoughtful but giving little away. Rex writhed beneath him, wiry muscles rippling as he arched his hips. “Show me what you were thinking about, Ike, how much you missed me. Take what you want.”

  Ike’s cock throbbed with need and he longed to wrap his lips around Rex, but maybe Oliver had spooked him. He traced Rex’s cock with his fingertips as he formulated a thought. “But you like women, and your job...”

  Why was he even thinking about this, let alone talking about it? There were some things he was probably better off not knowing. Ike wasn’t looking to get married.

  He shook his head. “Never mind.” Lowering his mouth, he dragged his tongue along the Rex’s shaft.

  “No.” Rex placed a hand on Ike’s shoulder, pushing him gently away. He sounded agitated, and his body tensed. “Is that a problem for you? You can have anyone you want, Ike. I may have saved your life, but you don’t owe me this.”

  Ike’s cheeks grew hot. “That’s not why I’m doing it. I want to do it. I like to do it. I like to do it a lot. I just don’t want to get...” He took a deep breath, trying to sort his thoughts, but he couldn’t. They had was a good thing, and Ike was going to mess it up getting possessive. “Forget I said anything.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone else since we met, Ike. Even sometimes when it would have been...expedient, I found another way. I’m not with you because it’s convenient.” Rex smiled faintly, looking somewhere between sad and amused. “I could have anyone I want, too. But I want this.”

  “I didn’t think— I wasn’t accusing...” Ike couldn’t help the immense sense of relief he felt.

  Stretching out beside him, Ike traced Rex’s chest. “I wouldn’t blame you if it were convenient. I wouldn’t stop coming. Gratitude wouldn’t have gotten you into my bed. I’ve sort of been down the road with straight men experimenting. I don’t mind if it’s just that. I just want to know so I can adjust my expectations.”

  “This isn’t an experiment.” Rex tilted his head to look into Ike’s eyes. He didn’t seem to be hiding anything; Ike could see thoughts and emotions lurking there, visible but impossible to decipher without more context. Rex stroked Ike’s hair back from his face and ran his thumb over Ike’s lower lip. “I don’t know what you expect from someone in my line of work, Ike, but you aren’t the first man I’ve been interested in, just the first I let fuck me.”

  It took a moment for the words to sink in. Ike went from feeling reassured that Rex wasn’t just playing around to panicked. “Wait. What do you mean by that? Do you mean in the bathroom...you’d never done that before?”

  Rex propped himself on one elbow and stared at Ike with a puzzled frown. “I’ve had sex in bathrooms before, Ike. I’d never let a man assfuck me in one, but I knew what I wanted when I followed you in there. I thought you wanted it too. Did I misjudge?”

  Heat rose in Ike’s cheeks. No one else ever made him blush this much. Something about Rex made Ike fluttery and nervous. “No. I just didn’t think it was your first time like that. If I’d known, I would’ve...”

  What? Probably stopped and felt like a jerk, which was how he felt now.

  “Well it was my first sex in a public bathroom, so I guess we both had a first.”

  “Does it bother you?” Rex’s scrutiny intensified, his gaze boring into Ike’s soul, pinning him in place. “I didn’t think it was a faux pas unless it was followed by the former virgin stalking the more experienced party. I tried not to do that. It’s not like I was trying to sign you up for an unwanted relationship. Kaylee made me promise to come over, Ike. I wasn’t trying to...”

  Rex took a deep breath and relaxed against the mattress, one arm pillowing his head and the other somewhere behind Ike but no long
er embracing him. “It’s the music, you know? I just...can feel it inside me, and it makes me want you inside me too. It makes me feel things I’d forgotten how to feel.” Rex glanced sidelong at Ike. “Do you want to leave now?”

  “No, it doesn’t bother me.” Ike wrapped Rex’s arm around him again. “I’m flattered. Really flattered. That you like my music so well and that...” He exhaled, still wrapping his head around it all. “And I’m not going to leave. Not after I’ve waited so long to see you. Maybe that’s why I’m a little spazzy right now. I was seeing you pretty regular, and then you weren’t around, and I got a taste of what it was like without you. It made me nervous.”

  Rex laughed softly and turned onto his side to face Ike. He settled closer against him, one leg hooking over Ike’s hip, and kissed Ike’s forehead. “You’re sweet, Ike.”

  Rex moved his hand between them, sliding it down Ike’s belly to stroke his cock. “I’m tough to kill. Try not to worry so much, all right? Just enjoy this while we have it.”

  Ike closed his eyes, relishing the touch. He wrapped his hand around Rex’s cock in return and sighed his contentment. Rex was right. He needed to enjoy this for what it was, for the time they had. Asking for anything more just left Ike fumbly and ridiculous.

  Now Ike was back in territory he understood. He grabbed the lube from the nightstand and greased his fingers before sliding them between Rex’s cheeks. He liked that he’d been the only one there. Sure, Rex could’ve been lying about that, but to what end? He seemed honestly worried Ike would leave over it.

  If anything, Ike was overwhelmed Rex thought he was that special. Or at least his music was that special. As he breached Rex’s opening, Ike kissed him deeply, wanting nothing more than to be inside him.

  Rex yielded, sighing into Ike’s kisses as his insides grasped at Ike’s fingers. All the tension disappeared, leaving nothing but desire. A shiver went through Rex, and he clung tighter, though he seemed self-conscious now in a way he hadn’t been before in their encounters. It might have been a bad thing, but it proved to Ike that Rex was human.

  Without that wall of composure between them, it was as though Ike had finally gotten past those formidable defenses. Rex had surrendered his body before, but now it seemed as if Rex had surrendered his will, too. He gazed into Ike’s eyes with what seemed like absolute sincerity. Rex looked different without the sadness and the distance the sadness brought.

  Then Rex’s eyes closed and he kissed Ike desperately, his hips rocking to push Ike’s fingers deeper. As Rex’s entrance relaxed, he whispered, “Show me how you missed me.”

  Not breaking the kiss, Ike rolled Rex onto his back. Ike put on a condom, then pushed up Rex’s legs at an angle that let Ike slide deep inside. He gazed at Rex’s face as he moved slowly, wanting to say with his body what he couldn’t say with words. He wanted Rex to know he’d always have someone who was happy to see him, someone to come home to.

  Beads of sweat broke out along Rex’s hairline, and Ike kissed the moisture away, pressing little kisses over Rex’s face until Ike finally caught his lips. This was what Ike wanted, what he thought about when he thought of Rex: not just the sex, but the closeness, filling Rex not just physically but somewhere beneath the surface. Spiritually, if that was something Ike could believe in without feeling cheesy.

  Rex was all around him, body and mouth sucking, massaging, making Ike feel like he too had someone who wanted him. As Ike basked in that want, Rex locked his legs around Ike’s back, limber and strong, and used Ike’s frame for leverage as he thrust onto Ike’s cock. They kissed as Rex grunted with the effort of taking it all, his lips trembling against Ike’s, but they didn’t slow or stop. The wild energy Ike had sensed before gave power to Rex’s movements, suffusing Rex with what seemed like inexhaustible drive.

  The man could be so dangerous. Rex was a killer, a spy. This thing between them was crazy. That thought brought home how strange it was that Rex had the fingers of one hand curled in Ike’s hair, the fingers of the other on his shoulder. It was so tender, almost loving, as if those hands had never held a gun.

  Mouth gaped around a soundless shout of pleasure, Rex closed his eyes tightly, head tipped back to bare his throat as he dug his heels into Ike’s ass to pull him deeper. Rex ground his cock against Ike’s stomach, its tip sticky with arousal. His green eyes glimmered behind black lashes, slitted open just enough to lock gazes with Ike.

  Entranced, Ike curled his fingers at the back of Rex’s neck and grasped Rex’s cock with the other hand. Rex looked so peaceful, as if there was nothing on his mind but Ike. Ike loved it, loved watching Rex take him, the flickers of strain and ecstasy. The rush of making Rex feel that way, look that way, amplified Ike’s own pleasure beyond anything he’d experienced with anyone else.

  Already the tension built in his body, the insistent need to come. Ike bit his lip and kept thrusting, unwilling to spend before Rex did. No one else had done this for him—this was all for Ike—and the thrill of making Rex climax with Ike inside him surpassed Ike’s desire for swift gratification.

  Rex moved steadily beneath him, chasing his own pleasure and working with Ike’s rhythm. Soft, labored gasps burst from Rex’s lips between kisses as Rex thrust into Ike’s grip, his ass clutching Ike’s cock in time. Then Rex moaned Ike’s name with throaty exultation, and his body convulsed, stiffening and shaking beneath Ike with the long pulses of his peak.

  Ike kept stroking Rex’s cock until the hot seed stopped dripping down his fingers and then slid his hands under Rex’s back, hooking his fingers over Rex’s shoulders to hold him steady. With a harsh, ragged breath, Ike lowered his brow to Rex’s and fucked into him until Ike lost control. Rex’s body still grasped at his in the aftershocks of bliss, writhing under Ike as his own release claimed him. Twitching and groaning, Ike pushed deep and shook through the final spasms.

  All the tension went out of Ike’s body, and he lay boneless atop Rex. Rex never rushed Ike off him once they came, instead luxuriating in afterglow together. Once Ike caught his breath, he cupped Rex’s face and kissed him again.

  “I don’t think you could be more perfect if you tried. God, I missed you so much.”

  Rex chuckled and stroked Ike’s hair indulgently. “I believe you, for now.” The teasing chuckle turned into a playful smile. “You’re a special kind of man, Ike Graves.”

  Ike reached between them, pulled off his condom, and tossed it off the side of the bed before gathering Rex up in his arms to brush their lips together. The kisses, the touches, opened something in Ike, brought words surging to his tongue that he probably shouldn’t say, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Seriously. It’s sad when you’re not here. I really look forward to getting to visit with you. I want to know more.”

  Rex grew quiet and still. He watched Ike with wide, observant eyes, seeming to take in every detail of his expression as Ike panicked quietly. After a few moments, Rex tucked a lock of hair behind Ike’s ear. “If you ask me questions I’m allowed to answer, I promise I’ll tell you the truth.”

  This could go so, so wrong. But Ike wanted to know. “Are you seeing me for any official reasons or is this just for you?”

  Rex frowned, his brows furrowing. “This is a personal relationship, Ike. It’s been a long time since they’d send me after a man like you for seduction purposes. I’m not the sex god I once was.” Rex smiled then and gave Ike’s shoulder a light punch. “If this was for work, I think I’d be due a pretty big promotion, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I’d give you that promotion.” Maybe to reaffirm his strength in a situation that made him feel helpless, Ike scooped Rex up and carried him into the living area so they could chat over lunch. Since he didn’t want to release Rex, Ike settled in with Rex on his lap. The other man was substantial, but Ike was used to carrying heavy loads at work, and that wasn’t nearly as fun.

  As they got comfortable, Ike gave Rex a searching look, hoping he hadn’t offended him. It hadn’t occurred to him until too late that
treating James Bond like a blushing bride might not go over well.

  Instead of looking annoyed, Rex’s lips were pursed as if he was trying not to laugh. Then, seeming to sense Ike’s nervousness, Rex rested his head on Ike’s shoulder and relaxed against him.

  It meant more to Ike than he could say, so in lieu of speech, he lifted the dome of his room service dish to reveal a salmon pilaf and some kind of fancy salad. Rex smiled at him and raised a brow, obviously enjoying pampering his boyfriend on the Company’s expense account.

  Satisfied the closeness and ease of afterglow still prevailed, Ike took a bite and moaned approval. Then he returned to the Q&A. “So if you don’t seduce people into bed, what do you do? You don’t have to be specific, just in general.”

  “These days, I’m...oversight. They consider me a veteran who can be trusted to make certain that less experienced agents don’t commit tragic errors.” That was obviously not the whole story, but judging by the way Rex chose his words, Ike guessed he wasn’t allowed to go into detail.

  “So like with Hezbollah in the news, those CIA agents that got arrested a while back... You would train those agents on how to not get caught?”

  Rex lifted his head and looked Ike in the eye. His face had lost its softness, transformed into something sharp, made of harsh angles and hollows. In a crisp, bland voice, he replied, “That would certainly fall under my purview, though the specific agents involved in any given undertaking are, of course, confidential, and may be drawn from any of the Company’s many veterans.”

  Ike’s brows rose. For Rex to react so, Ike must’ve struck something close to the truth. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything. Just trying to relate to what you might do. I know you can’t tell me details. My sister was cagey about things too.”

  Trying to seem casual, Ike dug into the salad.