Pumpkin Spice Up Your Life

by Suzanne Nelson

  While Daniel grabbed our coffee cups, I texted Elle a quick emoji of a grouchy face along with the words Current Mood. I shouldered my cello case and messenger bag and made for the stairs, nearly forgetting Kiya’s poem in my hurry, until Daniel called me back.

  “Nadi, would you like the poem?” he asked in a whisper. “I mean—if I’d written it for you.”

  My heart tripped, and heat pricked my cheeks. “Wh-what do you mean?”

  “Maybe it’s too much, too fast, you know?” Daniel said. “I don’t want her to think I’m creeping on her or anything. I want to make sure she’s okay with the secret-admirer stuff.”

  “Oh. Right.” My stomach sank. “I’ll … see what I can find out.”

  He paused as he caught the expression on my face, which must have been morose. “Hey …” He touched his hand to my arm. “You okay?”

  I hesitated, thinking of the many ways in which I was not okay right now. I wanted to talk to him about Mom. I wanted to not have to deal with crushes and cheesy limericks. But I only had a few minutes to deliver the surprise to Kiya’s locker and still make it to orchestra on time.

  I straightened my shoulders. “Totally okay. Just in a hurry. See you at lunch.”

  Then I raced down the stairs and out into the crisp cold, resisting the urge to turn back and wave the way I always had before.

  “Daniel wrote an actual poem?” Elle whispered as she stowed her French horn in her music locker. “Is this for real?”

  I’d succeeded in taping the poem and flower to the outside of Kiya’s locker without anybody seeing me. But I’d arrived in the orchestra room two minutes late, which had earned me a scolding look from Maestro Claudio. Then I’d spent every spare second of rehearsal texting Elle about Daniel and Kiya until Maestro Claudio confiscated my phone with a murmured, “This isn’t like you, Ms. Durand. I’m surprised and disappointed.”

  Well, that made two of us. Nothing ever came between me and rehearsal, except, apparently, limericks.

  Now I carefully put my cello in my own locker. “Sadly, yes. It’s very real. And Daniel has a plan for other surprises, too. One for every day this week.”

  Elle shook her head in wonder. “I’ve got to hand it to Daniel. It’s romantic.”

  I frowned as I slammed my locker shut.

  “Nadi … you had to have seen this coming.” Elle pulled her hair into a messy bun atop her head. “Whenever Kiya’s around, Daniel can’t take his eyes off her.”

  I winced. “But, Elle, we both heard Kiya talking about Graham …”

  “I know.” Elle shrugged. “Daniel can’t help how he feels, though. We’re just going to have to wait and see how the whole thing plays out.”

  “Wait and see isn’t in my vocab,” I said sullenly. “I don’t do flexibility.”

  “No kidding.” Elle laughed and pulled me into a hug. “It’s going to be okay. And you’re such a good BFF for helping him with his Prince Charming plan. We should be happy for him, right?”

  I sighed. “It’s just that Daniel and I are …” My voice died away in confusion.

  Elle studied my face. “You and Daniel are what?” I shrugged. “Nadi, why aren’t you happy for him?”

  The question made my heart race, and confusion muddled my mind. “I don’t know!” I blurted. “I guess I don’t want to see him get hurt.”

  Elle pressed her lips together, like she was dying to say something but trying hard not to. At last she nodded. “Okay. If you say so.” She glanced at her phone, then back at me. “I’ve got to go. Brandon’s waiting at his locker. See you at lunch?”

  I nodded glumly.

  “Oh, and have fun convincing Maestro Claudio to give you back your phone!” she called with a wave over her shoulder.

  “My phone,” I groaned, remembering, and then collapsed against my locker. This day was getting better and better all the time.

  “Really, Ms. Durand.” Maestro Claudio tapped his baton against his palm in irritation. “Your audition is imminent, and yet you’re preoccupied with this … instrument of mediocrity.” He held my phone by his fingertips, as if touching such a device might give him a plague. “Take care you don’t get heedless and squander this opportunity with Interlochen.”

  His dismal words followed me for the rest of the morning. And every time I thought about Kiya’s poem, my stomach hurt. By lunchtime, all I wanted to do was sit down with Daniel, Elle, and Brandon and eat the way we used to—chatting easily about music and movies, complaining about pop quizzes and too much homework. But no sooner had I gotten into the lunch line than I caught sight of Kiya approaching with Georgette.

  “Hey, Nadine!” she chirped enthusiastically. “How’s your day been so far?”

  “Great, thanks,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to hear about Kiya’s poetic surprise, but it seemed that now I was stuck. “How’s yours?”

  “Kiya has a secret admirer,” Georgette singsonged, giving Kiya a playfully teasing look. “He left a rose and a poem at her locker today.”

  “Georgette, could you have said that any louder?” Kiya whispered, glancing around shyly at the other kids in line. “Not everyone needs to know.”

  Georgette laughed. “This is a small town. Everybody knows everything soon enough. Besides, this time of year, there’s a sort of unspoken competition to see who can outdo who in the romantic gestures department. Kids around here make a huge deal out of Fall Formal invites,” she explained knowingly. “Last year, one of the eighth graders asked someone to the dance by draping a hundred-foot banner in front of the school.”

  “Wow.” Kiya smiled dreamily. “Nobody at my old school ever did anything like that.”

  “So you’re cool with it?” I blurted. “I mean … the whole grandiose gesture thing? I’m sure the guy—whoever he is—would want you to be comfortable … He wouldn’t want to be too forward or make you feel awkward.”

  Kiya nodded. “It’s sweet. Besides, I have a sense that the guy … whoever he is … has good intentions. His poem …” She laughed. “Well, it was a little cheesy, but very cute.”

  “Well,” Georgette said, “this so-called secret admirer’s not much of a secret, if you ask me.” She nodded toward a nearby table where Graham was sitting. Kiya laughed into her hand, blushing.

  “Wait … you think Graham wrote the poem for you?” I asked Kiya.

  Kiya dropped her gaze. “I’m not sure, but …”

  “You hope so?” I asked softly.

  “Maybe?” was her unsure response. But her excited smile was the answer I needed.

  Relief was a cool breeze sweeping over me, but guilt quashed it a second later. How could I be wishing heartache on my BFF? How could I be happy about Kiya’s interest in Graham when I knew it would hurt Daniel? It made me feel like a terrible person. It also made me not want to spend a minute longer in this lunch line with Kiya, for fear of hearing something else I might not want to have to tell Daniel later.

  “I’ve got to go.” I turned away from them so abruptly that I nearly tipped Kiya’s tray with my own. “Sorry,” I added as I hurried off.

  Daniel could barely wait for me to sit down before he blurted, “Did she like the poem? What did she say?”

  “Yeesh, Daniel.” Elle shook her head. “Let Nadi breathe for a second.”

  “Don’t look desperate, man,” Brandon said to Daniel.

  I laughed at that, but then saw Daniel’s pleading look. “She loved the poem.”

  “Really?” Daniel’s eyes lit up. “So she’s okay with the surprises?”

  “Yes.” My palms were dampening, and I pressed them against the lunch bench. Please don’t ask any more questions, I thought. I’d never lied to Daniel, and I didn’t want to start now. But I didn’t know how to tell him about Graham without hurting his feelings, either. It was better to avoid the topic entirely. “So that’s it!” I blurted now. “That’s everything.”

  “That’s not even close to everything,” Daniel said. “I already have an idea for tomorrow’
s surprise. It involves paper hearts …”

  He went on, but the conversation receded into a distant hum. I didn’t even hear my name being called until Daniel put his hand on my shoulder.

  “Hey.” He was peering at me, worry in his eyes. “Where’d you go just now? I looked over, and you were zombified.”

  “Nowhere.” How could I explain that watching Daniel light up every time he mentioned Kiya made my stomach twist uncomfortably? How could I tell him that I wasn’t happy about the idea of losing my best friend to a girlfriend? I couldn’t. But there was something I could talk to him about, something that I’d been wanting to talk to him about all day. “Actually, there’s been more drama with my mom.”

  “Really? When?”

  “Last night, after you went home.” I slid Mom’s note from my back pocket. “Dad saw her, without telling me. And she wrote me this note—”

  I started at the sound of the lunch bell. Like wind-up toys set in motion, everyone moved all at once—throwing away trash, picking up phones, heading for lockers.

  “Wow, Nadi, that’s huge. I want to hear the whole story …” Daniel said it sincerely, but his eyes were on Kiya as she walked out of the cafeteria. It wasn’t until she was out of sight that he refocused his gaze on me. “Can we talk after school at the Mug?” He took the note from me and stuck it in his pocket, then stood to go. “I’ll read it during study hall, and then tell you what I think over coffee later. Okay?”

  He was already a dozen steps away, hurrying toward the door, probably in search of Kiya, by the time I managed a quiet “Okay.”

  “I’m going to need a double dose of Pumpkin Spice Supreme,” I said to Elle as we made our way to the Snug Mug after school. We were walking past Pour Some Syrup on Me, Woodburn’s homegrown maple-themed gift shop. The scent of sweet maple drifted out from its window. My stomach rumbled. “And a Nutella Banana Blitz waffle for good measure.”

  “Bad day?” She gave me a sideways glance before tucking her chin deeper into the collar of her coat.

  I sighed. “I know Daniel likes Kiya, but I’m worried he’s going a bit overboard.”

  “That’s how he is. You know that.”

  I nodded. I did know that. But that didn’t mean I was happy about it. “Maybe this is a phase. It could all blow over in a day or two.”

  I glanced at Elle, waiting for her to agree and make me feel better, but when we stepped into the Snug Mug, she stopped me. “Blow over?” Elle repeated. “I don’t think so.”

  I followed her gaze, and saw Daniel and Kiya side by side behind the counter, laughing and chatting. My stomach churned, and I instantly thought about backtracking out of the shop, not wanting to witness a flirt-a-thon. But then Daniel’s eyes lit on me, and he was by my side in a blink, whispering in my ear, “Code Red. Upstairs. Be there in five.”

  I dumped my cello and school stuff on the floor beside Elle, who had already taken up her spot on our fave papasan chair. I saw Graham breeze through the door of the shop, and an instant later, Kiya waved at him from behind the counter.

  Graham started to get in line, which was so long in the after-school rush that it almost reached the door. Before he had the chance, Kiya rushed over to him.

  “You don’t have to wait in line.” She offered him a flirty smile. “I’ll bring your drink out right away. Just tell me what you want.”

  “Whiteout Chocolatta,” Graham said. “You’re awesome. Thanks.”

  Kiya pressed her hand onto his arm, giving him a longer look. “No. Thank you.”

  Graham looked momentarily confused as she walked away, and I wondered if he’d even heard yet about the poem he’d supposedly written for her. Still, he looked thrilled to be getting special treatment from Kiya.

  I climbed the stairs to the loft and sank into the couch, trying to settle my overwrought nerves. It was only when Daniel appeared with a Pumpkin Spice Supreme and my Nutella Banana Blitz waffle that I felt a loosening of some of the tension I’d felt all day.

  “How did you know I needed this?” I said, taking a long sip of coffee.

  He smiled. “I read your mom’s note, for starters.”

  “Oh.” So he had been paying attention when he’d taken the note at lunch today. My mood lifted slightly. “Yup. It was kind of a shock.”

  “That she wrote it, or that your dad went to see her and didn’t tell you about it?”

  I paused, trying to decide. “Both. All of it.” I took a deep breath, and told him about the conversation I’d had with my dad last night. “It seems so surreal, you know? I’ve only ever really known her on paper. I can’t even imagine what she’s like in real life.”

  Daniel nodded. “I think that about my dad all the time. I know him from his photos, but people are so much more than that in reality. The thing is, Nadi …” He held my gaze. “You don’t have to imagine your mom anymore. You could actually see her.”

  I blinked. “Wait … you think I should see her?”

  Daniel’s expression told me that he wanted to tread carefully. “I could never tell you what you should do. But if it were me in your place …” He took a deep breath. “I think I’d agree to see her. Yeah.”

  I stared into the whipped cream of my Pumpkin Spice Supreme. My drink seemed about as appetizing now as curdled milk. I set my cup down, then slid it even farther away so I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore.

  “What’s wrong?” Daniel glanced at the cup. “Did I put soy milk in again?”

  “It’s not that.” I shook my head. “I thought you were on my side. Always.”

  “I am!” Daniel held up his hands. “Hey … if you didn’t want me to tell you what I thought, why did you ask me to read the note?”

  I groaned in exasperation. “Because I was hoping that you’d say it was okay for me to keep ignoring my mom. But you’re not going to, are you?”

  He smiled gently. “I plead the fifth.”

  “Ugh!” I flopped back against the couch. “You know what? I wish my mom had just shown up unannounced on the doorstep. Then I wouldn’t even have to deal with this decision, or this note. I could’ve slammed the door in her face and been done with it.”

  Daniel cocked his head at me. “Would you really have done it?”

  I opened my mouth to spit out the first word that came into my mind. Yes! I wanted to shout. But the word wouldn’t come, and a second later, Kiya’s singsong voice was calling for Daniel from downstairs.

  Daniel peered over the railing at Kiya, his beaming smile too much for me to bear. “What’s up?” he asked her.

  “I need some help with the register,” Kiya said. “I’ve never had to put in a discount, and we’ve got the half-price specialty drinks today.”

  “I’ll be right there.” Daniel headed for the stairs. “Oh.” He glanced back at me in surprise, as if, the moment he’d heard Kiya’s voice, he’d forgotten I was there entirely. “To be continued tomorrow?”

  “You’re not coming over for dinner tonight?” I asked.

  He shook his head, grinning. “I’ve got to brainstorm surprises.”

  Then he was down the steps without another word. I lifted my Pumpkin Spice Supreme to my lips, hoping that, even if I wasn’t craving it the way I usually did, another sip might still bring me the cozy comfort I needed. The nutmeg and cinnamon sweetness glided over my tongue, but all I tasted was the wrongness of this day. I couldn’t take one more sip.

  My phone buzzed for the third time in five minutes. I resisted the urge to throttle it, reminding myself that it was not the phone that was the cause of my frustration. It was Daniel.

  Last night, I’d texted him just before bed, telling him that I hadn’t been able to practice cello at all. I’d tried to work on my audition piece, but I flubbed the same measures over and over again, until I panicked and then gave up entirely. I hadn’t heard back from Daniel until this morning, but when he finally texted, it was only to offer a quick apology for being so busy with Operation Kiya, and that we’d talk more at school.<
br />
  Apparently, Daniel’s version of talking was texting nonstop to ask for updates. I glanced at the screen now, trying to keep it hidden from Ms. Bronski, my homeroom teacher.

  Any sign of Ruby yet? Daniel’s text read.

  My thumbs punched the screen as I typed a definitive NO for the third time. But just as I hit send, Ruby, our school’s resident therapy dog, rounded the corner to our classroom. Ruby visited our class once or twice a week as she made her daily rounds through the school. Sometimes she curled up at students’ feet when they were taking tests, or napped in the corner of a classroom while we learned. Today, though, as I guessed from the small teal-green box tied to her harness, Ruby had a different job entirely.

  Ms. Bronski greeted Ruby with a head scratch before bending down to inspect the gift on her back. “What’s this you have here?” Ms. Bronski read the gift tag, then straightened, giving a disgruntled sniff, and said, “Ms. Renaud. It appears you have received a package.”

  All eyes turned toward Kiya, who was blinking with an innocent Who, me? expression. She grinned and walked to the front of the room, saying happily, “I honestly have no idea what this is about.”

  After retrieving the box, she sat back down at her desk and lifted the lid. The bottom of the box popped open, revealing 3-D hearts and tiny Cupid-shaped confetti. Inside the box were written the words: When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart, and I thought I was so smart.

  “Aw … how sweet!” Kiya cooed. “It’s a quote from Hamilton.”

  “Your favorite musical.” Georgette leaned toward Kiya conspiratorially. “He knows you so well.”

  I tried not to roll my eyes. As Ms. Bronski finished the morning’s announcements, I quickly typed a text to Daniel, saying, Mission accomplished. The bell rang a few minutes later, and I walked out of the classroom, relieved that I wouldn’t have to give any more “Operation Kiya” reports today. I had enough on my mind as it was.

  Then Kiya called my name, and I saw her hurrying down the hallway toward me.

  “Hey, Nadine.” She smiled breathlessly as she fell into step beside me. “Can we talk for a sec?”