Break You

by Snyder, Jennifer

  “Take another deep breath,” Paige insisted. Her hand came up to rub my back and she smiled at me through the mirror. “It’s going to be okay, his mom will love you!”

  “Thanks.”

  A knock sounded at the front door and Paige left the room to go answer it. I started down the hall after her, ready to grab my purse off the kitchen counter and get this dinner over with. Jason stood in the door when Paige opened it, looking calm and collected. I smiled at him and felt some of my anxiety roll off me at the sight of him. He was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a simple white-and-tan striped polo shirt. He looked nice, but not too nice, making me feel as though I’d dressed along the same level. This relaxed me even more.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” I tucked my purse underneath my arm and waved goodbye to Paige on my way out the door.

  “See you later!” she shouted after me.

  Jason threaded his fingers through mine as we walked down the sidewalk to his Jeep. After an entire week of us hanging out and getting to know one another, the sensation of his large, warm hand in mine still gave me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. A warm breeze blew across my skin and I inhaled deeply.

  “You nervous?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t be, my mom was happy about the whole thing, remember? Everything will be fine. She isn’t even cooking; she ordered out, so you don’t have to pretend to like her horrible cooking.” Jason smirked.

  I slapped his chest with my free hand. “That’s a nasty thing to say about your mother, that her cooking is horrible. Piss me off and I will so tell her you said that,” I teased.

  He shrugged a shoulder. “She already knows, why else do you think she would order out for tonight?”

  I pursed my lips. “Okay, point proven.”

  “Seriously though, you have nothing to worry about. Trust me,” he said, his voice soft and sweet.

  “Thanks, but that’s easier said than done. You wait till it’s your turn, you’ll understand then.”

  We released each other’s hand and parted to climb into his Jeep.

  “Yeah, I don’t even want to think about that right now,” he said. He started the engine and pulled out of the parking space.

  I took in another deep breath and felt my stomach begin to roll. If I threw up in his Jeep, or while at his mom’s house, I would be mortified.

  * * * *

  The house was white with navy blue shutters that matched the color of front door. “This is it,” Jason said. He cut the engine and twirled the keys in his hand.

  I glanced at the house through his windshield again. “It’s nice. I like it.”

  “Still nervous?”

  “Even more so,” I admitted.

  He put a hand on my thigh and squeezed. His touch was warm and comforting, just like it should be. I smiled at him from under my lashes. There wasn’t even an ounce of nervousness etched into his features. He was so sure this entire dinner would go perfectly fine.

  “Don’t be. Trust me when I say she’ll love you.” He released my leg and opened his door. “Come on, let’s head in and get something to eat. I’m starved.”

  I nodded and forced myself out of his Jeep. When I walked to the front, Jason reached for my hand and interlaced our fingers. The same comforting warmth seeped through me whenever he initiated a handhold. Jason’s mom opened the door for us as soon as my feet touched the first step, and I realized he looked just like her. They shared the same dark hair and bright blue eyes. Her lips twisted into a wide grin that came up to the edges of her eyes, crinkling them a little with her happiness.

  “Hey, how are you?” She stepped aside to let us in. “I’m Sharon, you must be Blaire.” Her eyes grazed over me and I noticed her smile grow.

  “I’m good, thank you. And yes, I’m Blaire,” I said. A smile of my own pulled at the corners of my lips. The scent of marinara sauce and garlic met with my nose, making my mouth water. “Smells good.”

  “Yeah, where did you order from?” Jason asked. He closed the door behind him.

  Sharon slapped him playfully on the shoulder and smirked. “You little rat! She might have thought it was home-cooked pizza.”

  Jason laughed and rubbed his arm. “Nah, I already told her you were ordering out, because you can’t cook.” A shit-eating grin spread across his face and his mom burst into a fit of laughter.

  I chuckled at the two of them and felt the tension release from my shoulders. Jason was right; his mom was amazing and tonight was going to be fine.

  “Anyway.” She rolled her eyes. “I ordered from Chandler’s Pizzeria. I’m not sure what you’ve been craving lately or what sort of things you’ve suddenly been turned off by food wise, Blaire, so I went with one supreme, one pepperoni, and an order of Italian cheese bread. Is that all right?”

  Jason handed me a paper plate from in a cabinet and winked. “Fine china.”

  “Easy cleanup, nothing wrong with that,” I said to him, before directing my attention back to his mother. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  Sharon handed me a napkin. “Which kind do you want, sweetie?”

  “I’ll take a supreme, thanks.”

  “How has the pregnancy gone so far? Have you been miserably sick?” she asked.

  I scrunched up my nose. “Mildly sick, I guess. I’m hoping it will go away soon.”

  “You should try putting some saltine crackers beside your bed at night and taking a few nibbles of them first thing in the morning before you get up. That’s what I did with Jason to help with the nausea,” Sharon said. She pulled apart the cheese bread and placed two sticks on her plate.

  “That’s a good idea. My sister said I should drink some sort of ginger tea,” I said. Jason handed a stick of cheese bread out to me and I placed it beside my pizza.

  “Oh, so your family knows about the baby?” Sharon asked. She licked some sauce off her finger and I got the impression she was slightly nervous, either that or else she didn’t like being the last to know.

  “My sister does, but I haven’t told my parents yet.” I couldn’t meet her eyes when I said this.

  My cheeks and neck grew warm. It wasn’t that I was ashamed to tell my parents; it was just the simple fact that I knew my mother wouldn’t handle the news well.

  When I talked with Paige a few days ago about it, she’d reminded me that I was an adult and my parents didn’t pay my bills, so they should have no say-so in whether I wanted to have a kid. While that was true, it still didn’t ease my nerves any.

  Memories of when Bonnie had first revealed she was pregnant with Tinley came to mind. Bonnie had been twenty-two—a year younger than me—when she had Tinley. She and Brice had already been married, but Mom still wasn’t thrilled about the news. Dad couldn’t care either way, but Mom was another story. She’d had both Bonnie and me young and had always wanted the two of us to go to college and travel the world before we decided to settle down. Bonnie had let that dream of hers for us die a little when she’d gotten married and had Tinley so young, and now I was getting ready to kill it off completely.

  “Do you think they’ll approve?” Sharon asked. There was a softness to her words, as though she already knew the answer without me having to utter a single word.

  I followed Sharon to the little square dining table in the corner and sat. Ripping a piece of cheese bread off, I popped it in my mouth and thought of the best way to answer her question. I could feel Jason’s eyes on me, waiting for my answer. He already knew he was going to have a hard time getting Bonnie to like him after how he’d reacted when I’d first told him, but now he was about to find out how my parents might react to the news. I swallowed hard before answering.

  “I’m not too sure,” I said honestly. “My mom has always had these hopes and dreams for my sister and me involving college and traveling the world. She wanted us to explore the things life had to offer she never could, because she had both of us so young. I’m really not sure if she’s let go of that
dream entirely, even though my sister is married with a little girl now.”

  “You think she still has those dreams in place for you?” Sharon asked.

  “Yeah, somewhat.”

  “Well, it’s your life. She’ll just have to get over it, won’t she?” Jason took a large bite of his pizza and gripped his glass of water tightly.

  “I’m sure everything will be fine; things will work out,” Sharon said, obviously taking note of her son’s drastic shift in mood. “Who knows, maybe now that she’s gotten used to the idea of being a grandma, and spending time with your little niece, things will go smoother than you think when you tell her.”

  I smiled at Sharon. She was the type of person I needed to be around, so positive and happy. No wonder Jason loved her so much.

  “Maybe,” I said.

  I took a small bite of my pizza and found Jason’s knee underneath the table. His eyes lifted to mine and I smiled at him. The tension melted off him and he grinned back.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  JASON

  “Man, what the hell?” Matt shouted. He’d cornered me in the girls’ locker room of the pool. I’d been sweeping up the floor, finishing my cleaning duties for the evening, when he’d walked in and shoved me against the wall. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me working here wasn’t good enough for you?”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked. I leaned the broom against the wall, because if he pushed me one more time I was going to deck him, friend or not.

  “Dad just said you put in your two-weeks’ notice.”

  “And?”

  “And, what the fuck did you do that for? You haven’t even worked here long enough to reap the benefits of the place fully.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What benefits? When Sasha Coleman asks you to put more sunblock on her back? I’m not sixteen anymore, man. I’ve got a kid on the way. You didn’t expect me to support my child by working here for forever, did you?”

  “Not forever, but damn it, dude, you were only here for a few weeks,” Matt said. He folded his arms across his chest and reminded me of a little kid pouting because he wasn’t getting his way. “So, where did you get a job at?”

  “Haven Software. I’m also interning at the children’s home on Woodmont Avenue.”

  “What?” Matt shouted. “Jesus, dude, you went from fun to strictly grown-up in two seconds flat! I mean, Haven Software? You’ll be stuck inside a cubical wearing some constricting button-up dress shirt every damn day.”

  “You have to grow up sometime,” I said. I patted him on the back and went to put the broom in the utility closet.

  “Not all of us,” I heard him mumble.

  Shoving all of the cleaning supplies back in the closet, I grabbed my keys and the T-shirt I’d worn this morning from in the office and clocked out. Dan, Matt’s dad, had understood my entire situation. I hadn’t even had to mention the fact that I was leaving because I had a kid on the way and wanted something more stable than a summertime job as a lifeguard. Dan had actually said he wished Matt would grow up at some point and realize being a lifeguard in the summer and a full-time college student the remainder of the year wasn’t his cup of tea either.

  I unsnapped the top on my Jeep and rolled it up. Tucking it underneath the passenger seat, I walked around to the driver side door with my cell in my hand. I sent Blaire a text, letting her know I was headed to my mom’s to take a shower before I swung by her place with something for dinner.

  What are you picking up to eat? ~ Blaire

  Climbing in, I put the keys in the ignition and let them dangle while I thought about where I should order from tonight. A brilliant idea came to me then.

  Tell me what you and my peanut are in the mood for.

  I didn’t know how she would react to the mention of our little peanut, but I hoped this was the beginning of us getting used to talking about the baby.

  I don’t know. All I really want is a salad. ~ Blaire

  What? No dessert?

  Blaire seemed to have a thing for sweets lately. Any time we went out or ordered in, she always had to have a candy bar or something with chocolate after our meal.

  Oh you know I want something, but I really need to slack off and cut a lot of my sweets out. If not, I’m going to be trying for years to get the extra baby weight off. ~ Blaire

  I sighed. I hated it when she started that weight crap; she was still sexy as hell and barely had a baby bump showing at all. Even when she did, I wouldn’t care.

  Anyway…I’ll be there in a bit.

  See you when you get here. ~ Blaire

  I booked it to the house and took a shower as fast as I could. Mom wasn’t home yet. Ackerman’s was supposed to get a late-night shipment of clothes in and it was time for inventory. She wouldn’t be home until late. This was fine, because if she had been here, all she would have done was hold me up by asking questions about how Blaire was feeling and when she would be coming over again for dinner. I was glad they’d hit it off so well. I knew at some point in the near future Mom would ask for Blaire’s number and they’d be talking more than me and Blaire.

  After I rubbed on some deodorant—the kind Blaire said made me smell sexy—I pulled on a clean T-shirt and slipped on my flip-flops while I scooped up my wallet, phone, and keys off my dresser and headed out the front door. It was only fifteen minutes tops from my mom’s house to the grocery store, but I hit every red light there was along the way, making the trip seem ten times longer.

  I found a parking space and headed through the heat and into the store. The automatic doors opened and blasted me with cool air from inside the store and I smiled as I grabbed up a little basket. Pausing for a moment to make a mental list, I thought of everything I would need to make Blaire the best salad I could think of.

  The plan for the night was to cook together, enjoy a meal that included dessert, and then hopefully move this relationship into the intimate area once more. It had been a few weeks and the doctor had said sex while pregnant was perfectly okay at this stage, so I planned on taking full advantage of it tonight.

  Racing through the store, grabbing up the ingredients I’d need to make the night perfect, I remembered something incredibly important—Blaire didn’t live alone. She had a roommate.

  Is Paige gonna be there? Should I bring her something too?

  I smiled as I waited in line to pay, proud of myself for coming up with a legitimate reason to ask. By the time I was unloading my basket at the checkout, Blaire finally messaged me back.

  No. She has a date tonight with Craig. ~ Blaire

  I let out the breath I’d been holding and grinned even wider. Everything was falling in place for tonight.

  * * * *

  “Are you kidding me?” Blaire asked. She chuckled as I walked into the door holding every bag from the store and bumped into the wall to avoid colliding with her. “What is all of this?”

  “Dinner,” I said. “Isn’t that what I said I’d get on my way over?”

  “Well, yeah, but you didn’t say you’d be getting it from the store. I honestly thought it would be like the other night and you’d say you couldn’t decide so we’d end up going out to eat somewhere instead.”

  I walked across her apartment and sat everything on the counter. “Are you disappointed?”

  “No, not at all,” she said. “I would have stayed in my yoga pants if I’d known.” A smirk twisted at the corners of her lips and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Go,” I shooed her away. “Go change back into your yoga pants then.”

  “I’m just teasing you.”

  “No, you’re not. You were really in yoga pants, weren’t you?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

  Her cheeks flushed pink and she cut her eyes to the bags I’d set on the counter. “Well, I was…but I’m fine in this. I’m not going to wear my yoga pants and ratty tank top in front of you.”

  “Woo, you didn’t say you were in a ratty old tank top, too.” I pinned her between my body and t
he counter. “Was it see-through?” Her hands came up to press against my chest. The simple touch made me excited. It had been too damn long. Way too damn long.

  “Oh my God, are we really having this conversation right now?” She chuckled. There was a sense of nervousness in her tone. That was the last thing I wanted to make her feel, nervous. I took a step back and she slipped away from me. “Okay, so maybe the tank top is sort of see-through. I’m not changing back into it for you, but I will change out of these shorts and into my yoga pants again.”

  “I can handle that.”

  Emptying the grocery bags onto the counter, I checked her out as she disappeared down the hallway to change. I shook my head and crumpled all the bags up and chucked them in the trash. Organizing the ingredients on the counter, I realized I’d forgotten dressing. How the hell were we supposed to eat a salad without any dressing? Fuck. Opening her fridge, I bent down and glanced at the selection Blaire had. Paige and her must live off condiments, because the condiment-to-food ratio was seriously tipped.

  “Whatcha lookin’ for?” Blaire asked. She smacked my ass, startling me.

  “I forgot salad dressing,” I admitted with a chuckle. Maybe tonight would go like I wanted, she was already getting frisky.

  “There should be plenty of ranch in there,” she said. She bent over and slid between me and the fridge door to look. “Here’s some Italian.”

  Taking a step back, I smirked. She had changed into yoga pants. They were black and tight fitting, cutting off at her shins. I couldn’t see why she hadn’t wanted to change into them before, she looked amazing in them.

  “Italian is fine,” I said.

  “Oh and here’s some fancy blue cheese stuff and some Greek dressing Paige likes.”

  “I’ll stick with the Italian.”

  She came back up holding the dressing in her hand and closed the fridge with her hip. “Me too.”

  “Have you got a big bowl I can make this salad in?” I asked.

  “Sure.” She bent down and pulled out a large red bowl from a cabinet. “So, is that what you’re making—a salad?”