Dog Day Afterschool

by Tommy Greenwald

  That didn’t go over well.

  “GRROOOWWWLL!” Abby showed her fangs and charged Purrkins, ready to tangle. Even Thor looked a little scared.

  “STOP!” we all yelled, but no one was listening, especially Abby and Purrkins.

  As other people turned their heads in our direction to see what was going on, Abby lunged at Purrkins, but the cat was too quick. She decided she wasn’t going to stick around to learn more about Abby’s legendary fangs; she sprinted between Daisy’s legs, bolted through the tent, jumped over a table, and headed straight toward downtown.

  Abby took off after her, with such force that Misty dropped the leash.

  “Oh boy,” she said.

  “Oh, great,” I said.

  “Oh no,” Daisy said.

  “LET’S GO!” I yelled, and we all sprinted after them, even though Purrkins and Abby were way faster than any of us. They were yipping and yapping and growling and howling and chasing each other, knocking into people who had come to adopt a dog or a cat (and were probably rethinking their decisions).

  Three seconds later, Purrkins and Abby disappeared around a corner.

  Two seconds after that, we heard a big CRASSSSHHHH!—and then a woman moaning.

  This can’t be good.

  Irwin, Baxter, Daisy, and I all started running even faster, and as we rounded the corner I could barely make myself look. But somehow, I did. And I saw Abby and Purrkins with something new to fight over: a bunch of groceries that had fallen out of some woman’s bag, because they had barreled into her while she was loading them into the trunk of her car—which happened to be a sweet, light-blue BMW. The woman herself was sitting on the sidewalk, her head in her hands, looking completely dazed.

  I immediately picked up Abby’s leash as Daisy grabbed Purrkins.

  “I am so sorry!” Daisy and I said to the woman, over and over, while Baxter and Irwin tried to retrieve the various cans of food that were rolling around. Other people had followed us out of the adoption tent and were starting to gather.

  “We’ll buy you new groceries!” I said, which was the first thing that made the poor woman take her head out of her hands and look up.

  I gasped in shock. We all gasped in shock.

  It was Mayor Murpt.

  I started panicking inside, wondering how this day could get any worse. This was the woman who had tried to help me save the shelter, and she had just been bulldozed by two pets who had come from that very shelter!

  I had a sudden, very upsetting thought: it’s possible she could have me thrown in jail for this.

  “Mayor Murpt! It’s you!”

  “Yes, it’s me,” she said, barely above a whisper.

  “How are you?” I said, stupidly.

  That snapped her out of her shock. “How AM I? Your crazy animals nearly killed me, that’s how I am!”

  Mrs. Cragg walked up with her dogs. “Do you want me to hold Abby?” she asked me quietly.

  The mayor’s head swiveled over to Mrs. Cragg. “Who are you?” she barked.

  “The babysitter,” Mrs. Cragg said meekly. I think she was having bad flashbacks to the days when she almost wound up in jail herself.

  “Well, I should thank you to take better care of your charges!” barked the mayor. “I could have been seriously hurt!”

  By now, Shep, Misty, and Jarrod had reached us and discovered what had happened. Two seconds later, my parents came running up with horrified looks on their faces.

  “Oh my goodness, what happened here?” said my mom.

  “The mayor got knocked over by this dog and this cat,” said some guy in the crowd, which was still growing. I guess everyone loves a good scuffle.

  My mom gasped. “The mayor? Are you kidding me?”

  My dad looked at me with the stare of death.

  “Here are your groceries, ma’am,” Baxter said, handing a ripped bag to Mayor Murpt.

  The mayor slowly got to her feet. “Thank you,” she said, but it didn’t sound like she meant it. “You’re very lucky I’m okay.” She started loading the groceries into the trunk of her car, grumbling and mumbling the whole time.

  It started to look like the whole thing was over, and I breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn’t going to press charges or anything. Most people started to drift away, but I noticed my dad still standing there, watching the mayor. After a few seconds, he walked over to her, pointed inside the trunk, and said, “What’s that?”

  The mayor froze, as a few of us wandered over to take a look. I didn’t know what he was referring to at first, until I saw a small thing in the corner that looked like a fat metal snake.

  Mayor Murpt quickly closed the trunk. “I need to ask you to leave me alone, please. Thanks to these animals, I’ve had a terrible scare, and I would like to recover in peace. If you’ll excuse me.” She quickly walked around to the driver’s side door, but my dad blocked her way.

  “I’d love for you to reopen the trunk, Madame Mayor,” he said.

  “Are you serious?” spat Mayor Murpt. “Don’t you know who I am?”

  “I do,” my dad said. I was trying to figure out what the heck he was doing when I noticed the insurance guy walking around behind my dad, writing something in a small notebook.

  Shep stepped between my dad and the mayor. “Uh, Mr. Bishop, everything okay here?” he said. “The mayor did us a solid by letting us have the adoption party without a permit. What gives?”

  My dad pointed at the car. “What gives, Mr. Lansing, is that I may have figured out what happened to your shelter.” He turned his attention back to the mayor. “Please open the trunk,” he repeated.

  Mayor Murpt glanced around and noticed everyone was staring at her.

  “I can call the police and have them do it, if you’d prefer,” said my dad.

  She sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Fine,” she mumbled, opening the trunk.

  We all peered in. It took me a second, but when I saw the defeated look in the mayor’s eyes, I suddenly got it. A chill spread throughout my body as I realized what my dad was talking about. The thing in the mayor’s trunk wasn’t a thick metal snake after all.

  It was the missing pipe.

  MAYOR MURPT’S WHOLE body sagged, like she knew the jig was up.

  FACT: “The jig is up” is a popular phrase on STOP! POLICE! It means “You’re dead meat.”

  The crowd was completely still and silent as my dad reached into the trunk of the car, pulled out the piece of pipe, and handed it to Shep. “I believe this belongs to you,” he said.

  Shep stared at the pipe in his hand. “So you’re saying …” he began, but he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

  I stared at the mayor. “Is it true? You flooded the shelter? You wanted it to close all along?”

  She dropped her head.

  “But why?” I asked. “Why would you do such a thing?”

  “I can guess,” said my dad. “Would you happen to be involved in the purchase of this building?”

  Mayor Murpt sat back down on the sidewalk and started to speak, so softly we all had to lean in to hear. “I am a principal investor in the company that bought the property. It was a simple transaction, the kind we do all the time, which means we had to borrow quite a bit of money to finance the purchase. We planned on paying it off when we built the shopping center.” Her head slowly turned toward me. “But when this enterprising young man began his crusade to save the shelter, my partners became worried that the whole deal would fall apart, and we would be left with a giant debt to the banks. We could have lost everything. Flooding the shelter to make sure it closed for good was the only thing we could think of.” She bowed her head again. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  My dad squatted down so he was eye level with the mayor. “We all appreciate your explanation and apology, but you should be ashamed of what you’ve done,” he said. “And you know what? You would have gotten away with it, if not for these two animals barreling into you and
stopping you in your tracks.”

  I looked at Abby and Purrkins, who were still panting from their adventure, and realized my dad was right.

  They were heroes! Abby and Purrkins were crime-fighting heroes!

  Meanwhile, two police cars had pulled up to see what was going on. My dad was nice enough to help the mayor up, and he walked her over to a police officer.

  “What’s going to happen to the mayor?” I asked my dad. “Is she going to jail?”

  “That’s for other people to decide,” he said. “But her days as mayor are over, I know that much.”

  Irwin, Baxter, and Daisy stood there, too stunned to speak. Finally Irwin said, “Remember when we thought Kermit Klondike stole the answer sheet, and one of the reasons was because his two names started with the same letter, like Barnaby Bratford?”

  I had no idea why he was bringing that up now. “Yeah, what about it?”

  He grinned. “Mayor Murpt!”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Mrs. Cragg was trying to calm down her dogs, but she caught my eye and gave me the thumbs-up. People were rushing over to me, patting me on the back, but I couldn’t really say anything. I sat down on the sidewalk, suddenly feeling really tired. So many emotions were running through my brain: confusion, shock, and disappointment at being betrayed by someone I thought I trusted.

  But mostly, relief.

  Shep and Kelsey walked over and sat down next to me.

  “If it takes a week, a month, or a year,” Shep said, “I’m keeping this place open.”

  I looked at him. “Really?”

  “Really, little dude,” he said, nodding. “I owe it to you.” He pointed at everyone else, chattering excitedly. “I owe it to all of them.” Then he scratched Abby behind the ear. “But mostly, I owe it to her, and all of the other animals just like her.”

  “That’s good news!” Kelsey said. “I’m chuffed to bits!”

  “You talk funny,” I said, and we both laughed.

  Shep and I bumped fists, and I stood up and went over to my dad. “It is important to do the right thing. But it is more important to do the correct thing.”

  He scratched his head. “Huh?”

  “You said that to me after we accused Kermit Klondike of stealing the answer sheet,” I said. “Now I get what you were talking about. You didn’t make an accusation without knowing the facts. You waited until you were sure.” I hugged him. “You saved the day. Thank you.”

  He laughed. “I knew my insurance background would come in handy some day!” Then he pointed at Abby. “But she gets the credit, along with Daisy’s adorable little kitty. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have solved anything!”

  We walked over to Baxter, Irwin, and Daisy, who was cradling Purrkins in her hands. The cat looked down at Abby, and then did the perfect thing.

  She yawned.

  And Abby yawned back.

  We all laughed.

  “No wonder they’re exhausted,” said my dad. “It’s hard work being a CrimeBiter.”

  “WELL, HERE WE are,” said Ms. Owenby. “The moment we’ve all been waiting for. The moment of truth. The moment of—should I just stop blabbing on, and hand you back your tests?”

  “YESSSSS!” yelled the entire class. The suspense was killing us. I think it was especially killing Baxter, who looked like he was ready to jump out the window if Ms. Owenby didn’t give us our tests back soon.

  “Okay,” she said. “Here goes.” She slowly started making her way around the classroom, handing back everyone’s tests, quietly saying encouraging things like “Great job” or “Good work” or “Getting the hang of it.” She got to Irwin, and I could tell by his face that he’d done really well (no surprise). Then she got to my row, and when she handed me my test she said, “Very nice performance.” I looked at my grade: ninety-one. I’ll take it. But believe it or not, I didn’t even care that much. I had other things on my mind right at that moment.

  I looked at Irwin, and we both snuck glances in Baxter’s direction. We tried not to stare though, in case something bad was about to happen. But when Ms. Owenby got to Baxter, she said, “I’m really proud of you,” and that was all we needed to hear. I saw a feeling of pure relief spread across Baxter’s face. He looked at his test and blinked three times, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

  “I got a B minus!” he yelled, over and over, as he started high-fiving everyone in sight. “I got a B minus! I got a B minus! I got a B minus!”

  FACT: One man’s B minus is another man’s A plus.

  LET THE SUMMER begin!

  As crazy as the end of the school year had been, with Baxter passing his test (yay!), and Shep getting to keep the shelter (double yay!), and Mayor Murpt turning out to be a criminal (sheesh!), and Abby and Purrkins and my dad being heroes (whoa!), the summer started with maybe the craziest news of all: my parents decided to let Misty go away with Jarrod and his family on their cross-country summer road trip after all.

  I couldn’t believe my ears when my parents told me.

  “Seriously?” I said. “She’s just a kid!”

  “We trust her,” my mom said. “And we trust Jarrod, and we trust his family.”

  “Sometimes you have to let your children have special adventures,” my dad added. “It’s part of growing up.”

  “What happened to ‘over my dead body’?” I asked.

  My dad chuckled. “We thought you’d be happy! Don’t you want to move into her room for the summer? Wasn’t that the plan?”

  The truth is, I was torn. Yeah, I wanted her room. But I always got a little annoyed when Misty talked my parents into stuff, which she was really good at.

  Can I tell you a little secret too?

  I was worried I might miss her a little.

  Let’s keep that between us.

  On the day they left, we all said good-bye in the driveway. Misty was kneeling on the ground, hugging Abby, while my dad was trying to lift Misty’s incredibly heavy backpack into Jarrod’s family’s RV.

  “Did you put your entire room in there?” I asked her, as we watched my dad struggle.

  She grinned. “Pretty much.”

  FACT: Girls have a lot more stuff than boys.

  “Have a great time,” I said. “Don’t do anything dumb.”

  Misty leaned over to give me a hug, and I realized that she didn’t have to bend down nearly as far as she used to. I was almost as tall as her. Pretty soon I was going to be taller!

  It made me realize she wasn’t the only one growing up.

  I was too.

  That night, when my parents and I ate dinner, we were all pretty quiet. None of us talked about it, but we were all a little sad. It seemed like part of our family was missing.

  “Want to go out for ice cream?” asked my dad. “Just to get out of the house?”

  My mom and I both said “Yes!” immediately.

  FACT: The second best cure for sadness is ice cream.

  After a delicious rocky road milkshake and two episodes of STOP! POLICE!, it was time for bed. I was excited to spend my first night in Misty’s huge room. I grabbed Abby’s bed and put it in Misty’s closet, because Abby likes to sleep in closets. I left the window open in case she wanted to go on one of her nighttime prowls. Then I started reading the Jonah Forrester vampire book Fangsgiving, which is about how Jonah helps solve the case of a criminal gang that breaks into people’s houses when they’re away for the holidays.

  After twenty pages, I turned out the light.

  “’Night, Abby,” I said. She thumped her tail twice in response.

  Then I lay there.

  And lay there some more.

  After about fifteen minutes, I realized something. I wasn’t falling asleep. In fact, I was getting less tired by the minute.

  I turned the light back on. Abby was staring at me. She didn’t look tired either, although that was no surprise—she never seemed tired at night.

  “Hey, Abby, I have an idea. Do you want to go back to our roo
m?”

  Abby was up and wagging her tail before I’d finished the question. I don’t think she liked Misty’s closet any more than I liked Misty’s bed.

  “Maybe we’ll try to sleep in there tomorrow night,” I told Abby, as we walked down the hall.

  Once we got to my room, I put Abby’s bed back in the closet, opened the window, lay my head down on the pillow, and turned out the light.

  I think I was asleep in five seconds.

  “THIS MEETING OF the CrimeBiters is called to order!” Daisy announced.

  It was our first summer session, and it sure was good to be back at the Boathouse. We were all there: Daisy, Baxter, Irwin, Abby, and me.

  And Purrkins.

  “Does anyone have any business to discuss?” Daisy asked.

  “I do,” I said. “But it’s not really business.”

  Daisy nodded. “Please proceed.”

  I cleared my throat. “Uh, I just want to say that I’m really glad we’re all back together again, and I would like to officially induct our newest member into the club.” I raised my water bottle, and everyone else did the same. “Congratulations to Purrkins, and welcome to the CrimeBiters.”

  Everyone shouted, “WELCOME, PURRKINS!”

  “If Purrkins could talk,” Daisy said, “she would say that she is very grateful to everyone for understanding that sometimes it’s not that easy to be the new kid, and it can be hard when things don’t go well at first, and she’s really happy everyone was so patient with her. So thank you.” She was looking right at me when she said it.

  “And if Abby could talk,” I said, “she would say that she’s sorry she didn’t welcome Purrkins right away, but she was a little nervous about someone new coming in. But then she realized that sometimes, change is good, and now she’s really glad that Purrkins is here, and she’s ready for new challenges and adventures.” I was looking right at Daisy when I said it.

  Irwin stood up. “Well, if I could talk—which I can—I’d say that Purrkins and Abby need to stop talking, so the rest of us can get back to conducting official club business!”