Heart Healer

by Leslie Bowes

  Catherine awoke to Ryan jumping on her bed.

  “Wake up, Catherine. It’s Christmas!”

  “Yes, I know,” she said, tickling Ryan and making him laugh. “Merry Christmas, Ryan.”

  “Merry Christmas,” Ryan said happily.

  A moment later, Christopher came into the room. Ryan jumped off the bed and leapt into Christopher’s arms.

  “Merry Christmas, Daddy!”

  “Merry Christmas, sport.”

  Christopher turned toward Catherine. She felt butterflies in her stomach and a huge smile spread across her face.

  “Merry Christmas, Catherine,” he whispered.

  “Merry Christmas, Christopher,” she whispered back, quickly getting out of bed and putting on her robe.

  Ryan excitedly led them downstairs. Catherine was in awe of the splendor of the festive decorations. Ryan got more excited with each gift he opened. By the time he had opened all his gifts, he had worn himself out and fallen asleep. Catherine slipped closer to Christopher. He slipped an arm around her, looked into her eyes, and then kissed her.

  “I think that there’s a gift for you.”

  “For me? Really?”

  “Yeah, right there,” he said, pointing to a lovely box. She went over and unwrapped the gift. Inside the box was a beautiful locket with small diamonds all around it and a blue diamond in the middle.

  “Oh, Christopher! It is beautiful! Thank you. Would you help me put it on?” she asked, returning to him. His fingers brushed against her neck, sending shivers down her back.

  “How does it look?”

  “Perfect. But then everything on you looks perfect. Catherine…” Christopher started to ask a question but then stopped.

  “Yes?”

  “Well, I was hoping you and I could go out and have dinner together tomorrow evening. Would you like that?”

  “Yes, Christopher. I would like that very much.”

  “Perfect,” Christopher said with a smile.

  “Daddy.”

  Once more the spell between them was broken.

  “Yeah, sport.”

  “Can we make our Christmas tree pancakes now?”

  Christopher’s smile got even bigger as he went over to Ryan and put him on his shoulders.

  “Of course, we can make our Christmas pancakes now, and you can be my chef.”

  Ryan kept saying “chef” over and over again as his laughter filled the room. It brought back memories of Catherine’s mother that she had not thought of in years.

  ****

  Catherine’s white dress was like moonlight against her black hair. She could not catch her breath because tonight she was coming out in society. Unlike tonight, Catherine only dreamed of going to Buckingham Palace as young girls and their mothers would come into her father’s shop begging her mother to make their daughter’s coming out dress. This dress Catherine was wearing showed her mother had outdone herself. It was made with more love then she could muster.

  “You looked beautiful, my darling.”

  “Thank you, Mother, you have outdone yourself with this dress. I love it.”

  “You know you do not have to go to the ball tonight. Even though your father and grandfather wish it.”

  “I know, Mother, but it has always been a dream of mine to go to a ball.”

  “I thought it was your dream to become a teacher and go to faraway places.”

  “It is, or it was…”

  Catherine cast her gaze down to the floor. She could not finish her thought because in her heart she didn’t know if that was her dream anymore. Ever since her grandfather died and her father inherited the shop, Catherine’s relationship with her father had become hard, as though she was not the child her father wanted. She would do anything to make him happy, including tonight. Her mother came behind her wrapping her in her arms.

  “God only made one of you for a reason. Never stop trying to finding that reason. Your father and I are so proud of you no matter what.”

  Catherine hoped and prayed that was true of her father, anyway.

  ****

  Buckingham Palace was even more beautiful than Catherine could have imagined it with all its splendor. She did not draw a breath until she was standing in front of the king announcing to the world she was a woman now. She did not think this moment could be more perfect until Ethan Sheldon came walking toward her.

  They made their how-do-you-do’s, but as they began to dance, the image faded away and did not become clear again until all Catherine saw was Ethan in a carriage with his mother and brother.

  ****

  “How could you dance with that half-breed?” Ethan’s mother yelled.

  “It was an innocent dance, Mother.”

  “But you have intentions toward Miss Andrews, brother. I know you do,” Ethan’s brother said.

  “She is penniless!” Ethan’s mother yelled, slamming her hand against the side of the carriage.

  “Not exactly, Mother. She is the granddaughter of the grand duke. That’s why she was at the ball this evening. Her grandfather has taken pity on her. And I overheard him tonight. As long as her mother lives, he will give a dowry when she marries. Also, her mother was a lady at court, so her mother has favoritism with the king and, as you know, Mother, I am the second son and cannot inherit.”

  The dream faded away, leaving behind nothing but darkness. Catherine tried to free herself from the darkness, but it just pulled her further and further in until…there was nothing but an evil voice.

  “You are nothing, Catherine Andrews, and you will always be nothing. Go back to your husband where you belong before Christopher throws you away just as Ethan did.”

  But through the darkness there was a glimmer of light. She heard a voice begging her to come back, and she couldn’t resist the pull. When the darkness cleared, Catherine found herself wrapped in Christopher’s arms, numbing the pain.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Catherine

  On Saturday evening, as the sun was going down, Catherine was finishing getting ready for her date with Christopher. She took a step back and looked in the mirror. She noticed once again her wedding band. Even though Christopher was the most amazing man she had ever met, the fact remained that she was still a married woman. For the past few days after Christopher had put Ryan to bed, they would talk for hours. Even after the kiss they’d shared, she knew she had to be careful. He was the kind of man she could fall in love with. Catherine touched her wedding band again. What was she doing?

  She sat down on the bed. She could not believe she was putting Christopher and Ryan through this. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. But the thought of taking off her wedding band terrified her to no end, as though if she took it off and left it somewhere Blake would find her.

  As the sun continued its descent, its rays coming through the window made the room a prism of color. Drawing in one last breath she got up, walked out of the bedroom, and headed downstairs. Christopher was in the foyer waiting. She saw him freeze, his gaze of pure adoration washed over her. Catherine could see the light from the sun setting behind her shining in his eyes, a deep golden hue. Her steps faltered as she picked her way down the stairs.

  “You look fantastic,” he said.

  “Thank you,” Catherine murmured, trying her best to push away her anxiety.

  ****

  Catherine and Christopher went to Ponini’s, an Italian restaurant inside a historic Beaufort bank building. Ponini’s was a delightful blend of old world Italian charm and new world cuisine. Catherine and Christopher sat in the corner near the window looking over the water.

  “How did Ryan do when you dropped him off at Emma and Tyler’s?” she asked.

  “He did really well. He only asked once if we were coming back.”

  She could feel the tears in her eyes. Ryan was getting as attached to her as she was to him, but this could not continue. Even though Blake was a cruel and horrible man and he forced her to marry him—she hated him for
everything he did to her—she had made vows to him. If she found a way to go back, she would. She knew this was her chance to tell Christopher the truth, but before she could say anything, the waiter came over to their table to take their drink order. By the time the waiter left, Catherine had lost her nerve. She knew she could not do that to Christopher. When she looked up at him, she knew she had already fallen in love with him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I just can’t believe you are here with me tonight. You don’t even know me.”

  “I think I know you well enough.”

  Catherine turned away from him. “You think you do, but you don’t.”

  “Catherine,” Christopher said in a soft voice. He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Everyone has a past. You can try to learn from it, but that is all you can do. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who I want to get to know better.”

  Catherine felt her heart fluttering as he spoke.

  “You make it sound so simple,” she said.

  “It can be.”

  Catherine and Christopher settled into an easy conversation, as they had the night before. They didn’t even notice they were the only ones left in the restaurant until the manager came to their table and told them the restaurant was closing.

  ****

  They walked the quiet streets to the waterfront.

  “This is such a lovely place,” Catherine said

  “It’s pretty, but you are beautiful.”

  She smiled as he took her hand in his. Their hands fit perfectly together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

  “What was it like growing up in your family? You haven’t really talked about your childhood,” Christopher said.

  She looked out at the water, but she felt a thousand miles away.

  “My father was a very loving and caring man when my mother was alive,” she said, thinking about the father she’d had when she was a little girl.

  “How did your father and mother meet?”

  “My mother was seventeen when she went into my grandfather’s store to buy a hat. But my grandfather had some errands to tend to, so he left my father in charge that day. When my mother came into the store, it was love at first sight. But my mother was a lady at court, and her parents did not approve of the match, so my mother and father ran away and got married. I was born nine months later.”

  “What ever happened to your father to make him so cold and heartless?”

  “My mother had a difficult pregnancy with me and an even more difficult labor. It took three days for her to deliver me and the doctor told my parents that my mother should not have any more babies. If she did, it would kill her.”

  “And your father was hoping for a boy?” Christopher asked sadly.

  “No. In fact, my mother used to scold him for spoiling me. But after my grandfather died and left my father the store, he became obsessed with having a boy. My mother would do anything to make my father happy, even if that meant giving up her life,” she said, fighting back tears. “So, when I was sixteen, on Christmas Eve my mother gave birth to my sweet little brother James,” she said, and the tears fell down her cheeks. Christopher leaned in and hugged her.

  “Oh, Catherine, I am so sorry,” Christopher whispered in her ear.

  “Thank you, Christopher, but my father blames me for my mother’s death.”

  “Why on earth would he blame you?” Christopher asked, shocked.

  “Because I was not a boy. He told me that if I had been a boy, then my mother would never have had the child that killed her! But I never blamed James for my mother’s death. Not for a second. I love him more than life itself!” she cried.

  Christopher pulled back and wiped away the tears she did not know she was shedding.

  “It’s all right, Catherine. I would never think that of you. Not for one second. But that’s why you have an understanding of Ryan,” Christopher said, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. She had shown his son more love and kindness then Chelsea ever had. He knew at that exact moment that he was falling in love with her. Christopher leaned in and watched her close her eyes slowly. When their lips came together he felt emotions deep in his soul and he knew that he would love her forever. They pulled apart and Christopher rested his forehead against hers.

  “You are very brave and courageous, Catherine,” he whispered as he brushed a strand of hair from her face. After that kiss, Catherine’s mind was in a fog. She could not speak, even if she tried to. Christopher brushed his lips once more against hers.

  “I love you, Catherine.”

  “I love you too, Christopher.”

  ****

  Catherine and Christopher returned home, and Christopher walked her to her bedroom door. They kissed one last time before Christopher left. Catherine walked into her room and stood against the door, feeling for the first time what it was like to love someone and be loved in return.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Catherine

  Catherine felt like she was floating all night long. All that came crushing down, however, when she woke up the next morning, sick to her stomach and with a throbbing headache. It got so bad that she asked Christopher to call Emma. Emma checked her out. By the look on Emma’s face, Catherine could tell Emma wanted to ask her something.

  “What’s wrong?” Catherine asked nervously.

  “Catherine, when was your last period?” Emma asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  Emma went over to her bag and took out a pink box.

  “Catherine, please go into the bathroom and do what it says on the box. We will know the results in a few minutes.”

  “What is this?”

  “It’s a pregnancy test.”

  Catherine’s face went white.

  She went into the bathroom and took the test. The minutes ticked away. It seemed like an eternity until Emma came into the bathroom. Catherine felt a cold chill run down her back.

  “What’s wrong with me?” she asked, wondering if she really wanted to know.

  “Catherine, you’re pregnant.”

  “No!” she cried. She ran out of the house and down to the river where Christopher had found her. Christopher came running after her, calling her name. She fell to her knees by the riverbank, sobbing uncontrollably. She was in such a state that she did not notice Christopher kneeling beside her.

  “Catherine, what’s wrong? What happened?” Christopher asked worriedly.

  “I’m pregnant!” she cried.

  When Christopher reached out to comfort her, she recoiled, jumping to her feet.

  “No! Don’t touch me. I am spoiled and I can never be unspoiled!”

  Christopher’s mind was spinning. He couldn’t understand what she was saying until the realization hit him like a ton of bricks

  “You are not spoiled, but he forced himself on you, didn’t he?” he asked angrily.

  “It does not matter. I am his wife. It was my duty as his wife.”

  “Wife or not, no means no.”

  “Not in my time. Christopher, I am carrying another man’s baby! I am so sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, and if you turn and walk away, never wanting to see me again, I will understand,” she said walking toward the river.

  “Catherine! Stop! Killing yourself isn’t the answer,” he said, going over to her and brushing his hand against her cheek.

  “The river brought me here. I must see if it will take me back to where I belong.”

  “None of this is your fault. Nothing that you have told me has changed the way I feel about you. I love you, and I will love your baby because it is a part of you.”

  Catherine looked up at him and knew that her fears were pointless. He loved her and would love her no matter what.

  “I love you too, Christopher, but are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Yes! I love you, and I will love this baby as my own.”

  She pressed her forehead against his.

  “I don’t
want anyone else but you to be this baby’s father.”

  She pressed her lips lightly against his. He wrapped his arms around her and his hands roamed up and down her back. She opened her mouth and felt his tongue against hers. Christopher had lit a fire deep inside of her. She pulled back, taking off her wedding band. She threw it into the river. Catherine went back to Christopher. Taking his hand, she led him back to the house and to his bedroom.

  ****

  With hazy eyes, Catherine leaned in and softly kissed Christopher. He brought his hand to her cheek, softly brushing her skin with his fingers, and he kissed her back. She felt a whimper rise in her throat. She parted her lips as he kissed her neck, cheek, and eyelids. She felt his touch linger where his lips had been. She pulled back and started to undo the buttons on his shirt. When his shirt fell open, she slid her hands inside, exploring his body. She felt him tremble beneath her touch. Leaning in again, she kissed his neck as she pulled the shirt over his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He slowly lifted her shirt and ran his finger across her belly before raising her arms and slipping it off. She felt short of breath as he knelt on the floor and began a trail of kisses across her belly and undid her skirt, letting it puddle around her feet. She stepped out of her skirt. Reaching for the snap on his jeans, she undid it. He gently caressed her back, arms, and shoulders with his hands as he slipped his pants off. Their naked bodies came together in a slow motion.

  They lay down on the bed. He kissed between her breasts, down her belly and past her navel, and up again. He was in awe of her beauty. Her dark hair was spread across the pillow, catching the sunlight. Her skin was so soft and beautiful against his touch. He felt her hands on his back, beckoning him. She lifted her head and kissed his chin. When they joined as one, Catherine almost passed out from pure ecstasy. She prayed that this moment would never end. As he moved above her, he whispered how much he loved her and that there would never be another. Catherine had never felt so loved in her life. She buried her face in his neck and felt him deep in her soul, allowing him to take her to the place she was meant to be. They made love for hours with a passion they never knew existed. Catherine lay on the bed and for a long time neither one of them spoke. Catherine reached up and traced his cheek with her finger.