Back to the Drawing Board

by L. L. Collins

  “Carter. When you told me I’m not like other girls? Well, I think you’re not like other guys, either. It’s refreshing. I like being with you. I know we barely know each other, but I like what I do know. Let’s just see what happens, okay?”

  “Your father would never allow it,” he said, speaking both of our fears.

  “My father isn’t here,” I whispered.

  Carter’s eyes widened. “Julia.”

  “Kiss me,” I said.

  He opened and closed his mouth, but nothing came out. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his body against mine. “I want to,” he admitted.

  “So do it.” I was egging him on, pushing the limits, but I needed to.

  He looked at me for so long, I just knew he was going to pull away and walk back to his side of the car. I could initiate the kiss; I’d already done that once tonight. But I wanted him to do it this time.

  Just when I was steeling myself for disappointment, he crashed his lips to mine. I gasped, but the sound was muffled by his urgent kiss. He wasn’t gentle or tentative, and I loved every second of it. I lifted my hands and held on to the sides of his face, the feeling of his short beard intoxicating me. His arms were wrapped around me tightly, and his firm body was pressing me against my car. I ran my hands along his firm chest and abs, then back up to hold on to his biceps.

  I felt his tongue against my lips and I couldn’t help the groan that escaped when our tongues touched for the first time. He tasted like the mint he’d popped at the end of our meal. He leaned over more, taking my mouth with the fervor of a starving man. I whimpered when Carter sucked my tongue then nipped it gently. God, this man could kiss. Imagine what else he could do. Hell, my body might already know, even if my brain didn’t remember.

  I didn’t even care that we were standing in the parking lot of a shopping center and he had me pressed against my car. All I cared about was feeling his firm body against mine, the arousal that was pressing into me, and his punishing kiss on my lips.

  His kiss slowed and then he pulled away way too soon, putting soft pecks on my swollen lips. He rested his forehead against mine while both of us fought to resume breathing normally.

  “Wow,” I said, tilting my head up to look at him again.

  He smiled, that half smile that made my stomach curl with desire. I wanted so much more. Like to go home with him. “Yeah. Wow. Julia.” He smoothed my hair back, and I closed my eyes at his touch. Desire was zinging through my body like electricity in a closed circuit. “Why do we have to work together?”

  I sighed. It was coming back to that.

  “Don’t,” he lifted my chin. “I’m just saying had I met you anywhere else, this would be so much easier.”

  Hope bloomed in my chest. What was he saying? That he would try this? “I know,” I said, caressing his face. “But it doesn’t have to be difficult, Carter.”

  “How can it not be? I work for you. I work for your parents. I’ve wanted this internship ever since I knew this company existed when I was in high school. It’s been my goal. I can’t screw it up, Julia. I just can’t.”

  He stepped back and let me go, and I felt him emotionally pull away from me. Tears filled my eyes. I knew it. He’d never pick me over the job. Not that I wanted him to, but damn it hurt to hear him admit it.

  I turned so he wouldn’t see the emotion all over my face. “You ready to go?”

  He sighed from behind me. “Sure.”

  We got into the car and didn’t say a word until I pulled up in front of his apartment building. I unlocked the doors and he reached for the door handle. Please don’t leave without saying anything, I begged. Not again.

  “Julia,” Carter said. “Thank you for tonight. It was a lot of fun. It was great to get out with someone that knows the city. Thanks for the help with the tux, too.” He looked over at me in the moonlight, and I nodded in response, not trusting my voice to speak.

  He got out, reaching in the back to get the hanging bag. Just as he was about to shut the door, he leaned back inside. “You’re an amazing woman, Julia. Don’t think I don’t realize that. See you tomorrow at work.”

  I watched as he walked away, turning back one more time to wave goodbye before disappearing into his building. I didn’t even know how long I sat there, tears rolling down my face, hating myself for allowing my stupid heart to rule over my head again.

  “Thanks for coming over,” I said, handing Tracey a glass of wine.

  “Always,” she answered. “Now spill it. What’s wrong?”

  I sipped my wine, wishing I wasn’t such a stupid girl. “Well, Carter and I went out tonight.”

  Her eyes got wide. “Out? As in, out out?”

  I sighed. “As in, I took him to get a tux for the benefit on Saturday and we went to dinner.”

  Her eyebrow lifted. “And?”

  “We kissed.”

  Her mouth dropped open.

  “Twice.”

  “Julia,” she hissed. “At least you can remember this time. How was it?”

  “He’s amazing, Trace. But it’s so complicated. He is so afraid for this job. I can understand that, but he just doesn’t get that I would never do anything to jeopardize his dream. I’ve only known him a little over a week. I know I’m being ridiculous. You know I haven’t been the commitment type, but he’s . . . different. I want him. And not just for a roll in the sheets.” I stopped, trying to work past the lump in my throat.

  Tracey reached over and put her hand on mine, and I lost the battle with my tears. “Why am I crying over a man I met a week ago, Tracey? What is wrong with me? He doesn’t want me. Or he does, but he wants his job more. He told me he wanted me, but then before I took him home he said he can’t miss out on his goal.”

  Tracey wrapped her arms around me. “Julia,” she murmured into my hair. “Give him time. You said yourself he admitted he liked you. It seems like it’s two steps forward, one step back. You just may need to back off a little and let him come to you.”

  I sniffled. She was right. As much as I liked him and felt like we had a chemistry that was undeniable, I wasn’t going to throw myself at him and hope he caught me.

  “You’re right. As always. I’ve gotten myself all hyped up over this man and I need to just chill. Thank you for putting it into perspective for me.”

  “Speaking of,” Tracey said. “Whatever happened with the doctor?”

  I thought of that stressful few days while I’d waited for the test results to come back. “All clear. If we did sleep together, nothing happened. I told Carter that in a rather awkward conversation a few days ago as well. That’s not something I want to have to do again.”

  “Well thank God. Julia, fine man or not, you can’t do that again.”

  “Don’t I know that. That was dumb.”

  With that, we clinked glasses, toasting to good friends and foolish men who couldn’t make up their minds.

  It was go time. I was dressed in a black satin ball-length gown with a slit up the right leg. My hair was curled and piled on top of my head, and I had on more makeup than I’d worn to my high school prom. I was going to pay for the rest of the week for the heels I was wearing tonight, but it took my petite frame much closer to the sky. Or to Carter.

  I loved this part of my job. Even though being an architect wasn’t my number one dream, this part of the job was so rewarding. Tonight’s benefit was for a children’s hospital we’d built and had recently opened. We were not only doing a ribbon cutting tonight, but also the $1,000 a ticket dinner and subsequent silent auction would all benefit the kids at the hospital. If there was something I hated seeing, it was a sick child. If my job indirectly helped one child get well and get to stay near their family, then I had purpose. My parents, despite their faults, were overly generous with their money. We’d never wanted for anything, but I’d guess they gave away almost as much as they made. This hospital was one of those. Every year, my mother picked their charitable contribution for the year, and it was alwa
ys something to help the citizens of Colorado. Our company did it for their cost of materials and donated all of the labor.

  I guess, in a way, I followed in her footsteps. I’d been volunteering at Colorado Cares, a statewide housing initiative for low-income families, since high school. It started out as fulfilling required volunteer hours for a class I was taking, but it developed into so much more. I loved every second of not only helping build the houses, but over the years it had morphed into me getting to utilize my creative passion there. I’d become the head volunteer in charge of interior design, and it was there that I felt my place in life. I could design a mean building, put the plans together, and oversee it, but there was nothing like the feeling I got from transforming the house into more than just a building. I loved seeing the family’s reaction as they saw their new home for the first time. Many of these families had nothing, or next to nothing, and were so grateful for everything that was done for them.

  I had never wanted for anything, much less something as basic as a safe place to live. I was humbled to be able to use my skills to help others who were less fortunate. And the more I volunteered, the more I wanted to continue.

  I’d offered to pick up Carter tonight but he’d declined, saying his car had arrived from Florida and he would find his way there and meet me. I couldn’t help but think that after our shopping trip, he didn’t want to be alone with me anymore. The last few days at work, we’d been extremely busy visiting the site of the Adams project and meeting with the foreman on the construction team. We hadn’t had much, if any, alone time, but that was probably a good thing.

  Sighing, I picked up my black clutch and slipped my phone inside it. There was sure to be a plethora of guys there at the benefit tonight. I needed to find a different focus and keep my hands—and thoughts—off of a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed man.

  When I arrived at the hospital, I valeted my car and stepped into the breathtaking lobby, my eyes immediately drawn to the huge chandelier and the twinkling lights. People milled around, looking at the framed plans that were on easels around the room, as well as the displays describing the modern technology the hospital was using to be able to run almost completely on reusable energy. I stopped, taking a moment to appreciate what we’d accomplished here. I’d been one of many architects in our office on this project, but every single time I saw a project at its completion, it made me emotional. We made dreams come true.

  “This is phenomenal.” His voice shot tingles down my spine. Carter. I was afraid to turn around, knowing who I was going to see behind me.

  “It is,” I answered, still facing away from him. “When I see the building finished, like this, I realize how awesome it is that we played a major role in it.”

  “Absolutely. This is why I wanted to work here. There are millions of buildings under construction every day in this country, but few that can do what your company does, Julia. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

  Was I reading too much into what he was saying, or did it seem that he was giving me the reason again for why he didn’t want to be involved with me? I got it already. He’d been very clear.

  Knowing it was time, I turned so we were facing each other and saw the god-like man behind me. I’d had some warning, knowing what Carter was going to look like after seeing him try the tux on. I couldn’t stop the feeling of satisfaction from creeping over me, however, when Carter’s eyes bugged out of his head and he scanned my body unabashedly. Every single thing I’d done to get ready for this was with him in mind, and I’d been successful. I think I was a glutton for punishment, determined as I was to get through to him.

  “You look gorgeous,” Carter said, his eyes finally lifting to mine.

  “Carter!” I scowled to see Ethan making his way to us. I liked Ethan a lot, except in this moment.

  Carter and Ethan shook hands. “Julia, you look gorgeous as always. This place is amazing, don’t you think?”

  “Thank you.” For some reason, Ethan telling me the same thing as Carter didn’t affect me at all. “Yes, it’s amazing.”

  Carter and Ethan started talking, and I watched them, not computing what they were talking about. It was great to see Carter making a friend here other than me. All I could do was watch his mouth as he talked, his hands moving in animation and his eyes lighting up with interest. I zeroed in on his lips, thinking about the way they felt against mine just days ago.

  Sighing, I forced myself to turn when Paige came up. “Hey,” she said, looking stunning in a long red satin gown. Paige was tall and curvy with dark blonde hair and green eyes. She was the only one other than Tracey that knew how I felt about Carter, mostly because she read me like a book and I couldn’t hide the physical reaction I had to him anytime he was near.

  She caught my gaze and smiled, not saying a word. “This place is breathtaking. Will you give me a tour?”

  I knew what she was doing, but I allowed her to pull me away, anyway. As we walked away, Paige’s arm linked with mine, I looked back at Carter. He was still talking to Ethan, but his eyes were following me.

  “Girl, you have it so bad. I’ve never seen you like this.” Paige elbowed me playfully. “What are we going to do with you?”

  “Get me him,” I laughed, but I wasn’t really kidding.

  Paige sighed. “You sure know how to make things complicated, Jules. All these eligible bachelors that would fall at your feet for a chance at a date with you, and you want the one who is off limits.”

  I lifted my eyebrows at her. “Have you seen him?”

  Paige looked back at Carter. “I’m not blind. I’m just not gaga over the man.”

  “That’s because he’s mine. And you have Zeke.”

  Her face blushed at the mention of Zeke, but she didn’t deny it. I wondered idly where he was. “So what’s the problem then?”

  I snagged a drink from a passing waiter. “He’s . . . complicated.”

  “They always are, my friend. They always are.”

  I TRIED TO FOCUS ON Ethan’s words. I did. But the second Julia turned and walked away with Paige, my eyes followed her across the room, watching her talk and laugh with every person that came up to her. I saw her look back at me no less than half a dozen times.

  “Uh oh,” Ethan said. It was nice to have a guy friend here. He’d taken me out with him last week and I’d met a few of his friends. Since then, we’d worked out together daily and I enjoyed his company a lot. It made me miss Hayden just a little less.

  “What?” Ethan had no idea how I felt about Julia (hell, I didn’t even know for sure how I felt about her), or what quite possibly happened with us. I’d been careful not to mention her at all unless we were discussing work. I had to play dumb now, because I was sure I was being very obvious.

  He laughed. “Man, I might’ve only known you a little over a week, but I know that look.”

  “What look?”

  “You’ve been watching Julia Gibbons since the second she walked away. She’s off limits, man. Don’t even think about it.”

  I processed his words. I knew this, of course, but that didn’t mean I wanted to listen. “Julia? She’s great. I have to work under her for the internship.”

  Ethan lifted his eyebrow at me. “I’m sure you would like to work under her, Carter. You and every other male at GSJ.”

  Heat flooded my face. Was she this forward with everyone? “What do you mean by that?”

  Ethan looked over to where Julia was laughing with Zeke, and my stomach constricted when he put his hand on her arm. “Haven’t you noticed that every man in that office practically drools when she goes by? Most of them, married or not, would give a nut to get that. But they know better.”

  “Would you?” I had to know.

  He shook his head. “She’s gorgeous, but not my type. I totally want her friend, though.”

  “Paige?” She was okay, but as Ethan said, not my type.

  “Nope. Tracey.”

  I hadn’t met Tracey yet, but I remembered
Julia talking about her. I needed to steer the conversation back to Julia because I had to find out what he meant.

  “What do you mean they all want her but they know better? Is she a player or something?”

  Ethan laughed again. He was sure finding this amusing. “No. Not at all. I’ve never even seen her go out with anyone, and she’s been around a long time, even before she graduated college. They all know better because her father would have their heads if they even thought about touching her.”

  My throat dried out and I coughed while attempting to swallow. Mr. Gibbons seemed like a good guy. “Really?”

  He nodded. “He’s super protective of her. He knows that she attracts a lot of attention. She’s his whole world. He doesn’t even have to say anything for everyone in the office to know that. Word gets around. Julia Gibbons is to look at, respect, work with, but not to touch. No one has crossed him yet, for good reason. They want this job worse than they want to have her.”

  I sighed, forcing my eyes away from her curves in that black form-fitted dress. I needed to listen to him and heed his advice. I wanted this job more than I wanted her. Right?

  Our team was all sitting together at a large table, so I sat down next to Ethan to wait for the dinner to begin. I’d stayed away from Julia for the last hour, trying hard not to watch for her around the room. I’d focused instead on meeting as many people as I could. Ethan knew a lot of people, and it was great to meet his connections. I was thankful to be here in Denver, as homesick as I was some days. I hadn’t seen Mr. and Mrs. Gibbons, though I was sure they’d be here somewhere.

  “Oh, there you are!” Julia’s voice came from beside me. I glanced over at Ethan before looking up at her. She leaned over, putting her clutch on the table. Her dress was low cut in the front, and I couldn’t help my eyes as they zeroed in on the supple cleavage she showed. Carter, you’re sitting at a table with an entire group of co-workers. Keep it in your pants, buddy. I forced my eyes back to hers.