Back to the Drawing Board

by L. L. Collins

She tapped those fingers against her beautiful lips, and I wanted to drag her out of the house, to the car, and anywhere away from here so she would let me touch her. I was a dying man. “I’m weird about numbers. Everything has to be even.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like, when I pump gas, I have to stop it on an even number. It can’t be odd. My apartment had to be an even number. My phone number, too. If I have something and I can control it, it has to be even.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve been like that since I was a kid.”

  “That’s . . . weird. It’s a good thing I loved you already.”

  We both laughed. “I want to give you your present now.”

  “We will never get to twenty,” she said. “Okay. Give it.”

  I reached over into my suitcase and got out a small package. “Here you go.”

  She eyed the small box for a nanosecond before tearing it open. “What is it?”

  “Well you have to open it, you silly.”

  Julia gasped. “Carter. These are beautiful.” She held up the small diamond earrings I’d gotten her to her ears. “How will they look?”

  “I have an idea. You put those on and nothing else and I’ll let you know.”

  She giggled. “You’re ridiculous. Wow. I love how beautifully simple these are.”

  “They reminded me of you,” I said. “You’re the most precious, beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but you’re also so simple. You’re happy just by the little things in life. I love you.”

  “I love you, Carter. So much. I love them. Will you help me put them on?”

  I knew she didn’t need help, but if she was going to let me touch her, I was all for it. I took the small studs out of the velvet box and placed them in her ears. She tied her hair back and turned back and forth.

  “How do they look?” My eyes took in her smooth neck, her flawless face that smile that made me weak in the knees, and finally the earrings.

  I reached for her, and she tucked herself into the crook of my arm. “I’ve never been happier in my life, Julia. I look at you, every single time, and can’t believe this is my life now.”

  “No making me cry,” she teased. “I have beautiful new earrings. But seriously, I’ve never been happier either. Even though things are all crazy right now, and that would normally send me over the edge, I’m fine. Better than fine. I’m here with you in your parents’ beautiful house, and my future has never looked brighter.”

  She got up and took a medium sized box out of her suitcase. “For you, my love.”

  “This better be a huge bow I can wrap you up in,” I teased. Julia rolled her eyes. When I got past her expertise wrapping and to the box, I gasped. “Julia.” I ran my fingers along the etched glass.

  “I know how much you loved mine, and couldn’t wait for your own. You can keep this until you find your place, but just know that every time you look at that, you can know that you’re the world’s hottest and most talented architect. Also, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, I love you and believe in you.”

  I remembered the first day I’d started at GSJ, running my fingers along the etched glass of Julia’s nameplate outside her door. Apparently she’d either been very observant, or she was that good at reading my mind.

  Carter Blake McIntyre, Architect was etched onto a smoked piece of glass, just exactly like hers. I loved how she included my middle name because she knew just how important it was to me. On the back, in small letters where no one would see them but me, were the words I love you ~ J.

  “It’s perfect, Julia. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to hang this at my first job.”

  I turned off the light, holding Julia to my side, my heart full.

  “Play me a song,” she whispered in the darkness. I grabbed my phone and found Lifehouse. The lyrics of ‘You and Me’ began. This was one of our favorite things to do; she played a song for me that was usually country, and I played one for her that wasn’t. But no matter the song, it always had meaning behind the lyrics.

  I had everything, right here in this house, and I had the feeling the best was still to come.

  “THIS IS BEAUTIFUL,” I SAID, sticking my toes in the sand. Liane, Blake’s mom sat next to me on her beach chair. I was seriously envious of this woman’s body. She was in her early forties and looked better than most twenty-year-olds. I hoped I was still that hot at her age and after three kids in five years. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

  She smiled, and I saw Carter in her face. “Carter was so excited to be able to bring you here. He loves this place.”

  “I can see why. Liane, would you mind telling me your story? Carter told me, but I’m just a sucker for a love story.”

  Liane looked out at the water, where Blake and Carter were playing on boogie boards, laughing when they wiped out and fell. Liane’s friends were walking the beach, and she said a few other friends would be arriving later. I was still shocked I could be sitting on the beach on New Years Eve, and I was sad we would be heading back to the frozen tundra of Colorado tomorrow. It was home, though. For now. I’d been thinking a lot about asking Carter if he wanted to move back to Florida. His family was here, and it would be a new adventure for me.

  “Blake and I met here when we were babies. Our families were friends; they met here at the Beach Club.” Liane shifted so she was facing me and put her sunglasses on her head. “We have pictures of us, sitting right here in the sand, in our diapers. When we were fourteen, Blake kissed me on this beach. I was a scared and stupid little girl, and I ran away. I spent the next four years avoiding seeing him. When we were eighteen, we came back to the beach before going off to college. I’d just broken up with my boyfriend, and it was like the cards all just aligned for us. We spent the best two weeks together . . .” Liane trailed off, her eyes finding Blake again. My heart ached, knowing the next part of the story.

  “I was young, but we were so powerful, Blake and I.”

  “You lost so much time,” I said.

  She nodded. “Yes. We lost a lifetime. There are days when that is almost unbearable to think about, what we went through to get back to each other. But we’ve both decided not to dwell on that and just be happy where we are now. We have four children together, and while life is life and it is hard sometimes, at the end of the day we come home to each other, and that’s all that matters.”

  “Your outlook is amazing. Carter held on to a lot of pain, even though he loves both of you, and he’s so happy you got your life together.”

  Tears appeared in Liane’s eyes. “I know. The accident was hard for him to cope with. It took him months of rehab to be able to get around again, and he had to rely on Blake and me more than he wanted. He was always sensitive as a boy, and everything that happened multiplied that. He was upset for me, for himself, and at his body. He wanted to go back to school, to run and do sports, and for things to go back the way they were. Plus, he had just found out about Blake and was trying to process all of that. He was so angry. Not at me or Blake, but at Ronan and at life.”

  “He was determined not to fall in love,” I told her.

  She smiled at me. “I know he was. He’d tell Blake and I all the time that he wasn’t cut out for love like ours. He suffered for so many years with feelings of unworthiness. No matter what we told him or showed him, it just didn’t matter. Honestly, I was afraid for him. He’s such a smart, talented man. I knew he’d do amazing at his career. I just hoped he didn’t become like Ronan, shut off from the world in order to succeed.”

  “Once I knew the story, I kind of called him on acting like Ronan. I think I shocked him, but he agreed. It was the turning point for us, I think.”

  “He needed a woman like you,” Liane said. “If I could’ve created someone for my son, it would’ve been you. I wasn’t always as strong as I needed to be, and I think I showed Carter some of that. I’ve changed a lot over the last few years, too.”

  “What do you think about
his relationship with Ronan?”

  “It’s been strained. I know Ronan tries, and I’m genuinely happy he’s still showing Carter he loves him. I refuse to intervene, though, and figure it’s up to Carter to decide now how much he’s a part of Ronan’s life. He’s a grown man, and he’s had to deal with the fallout of this in his own way. I’m not sure what their future holds, but I can’t let that worry me. Carter has a dad who adores him and has tried to show him the way he would’ve raised him.”

  “He knows the difference. He tells me all the time that he thought the way Ronan was as he was growing up was normal, but he knows now it wasn’t. He even told me he was glad Gretchen and the boys weren’t going to have to grow up that way.”

  Liane sniffed, wiping a tear from under her eye.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Julia. I’m not emotional over what Carter told you. He’s right. They will never know the life that he did. There are many things I wish I would’ve done differently, all the way back to when I found out I was pregnant with Carter. I can’t change it now, though. I’m emotional because Carter has opened up and told you things he would never share with anyone. It’s wonderful.”

  I fought tears of my own at her admission. “So tell me what it was like when you saw Blake here again, when Carter was eighteen.”

  Liane grinned, her eyes following Blake in the water again. “I was broken, Julia. Lost. I came back to the only place where life ever made sense, and he was here. My husband had just asked for a divorce and left me, and at the time I couldn’t see that it was a blessing. It was the beginning of the unraveling of my life, and Blake was the only bright part of that. The time we’ve spent here, as kids and now as adults, has been nothing short of miraculous. Once we found out about Carter, we both knew we’d found each other again for a reason. He’s my life, Julia. I love that man so much. He never stops making me feel like the most precious thing. Are there stressful times? Of course. But my life is nothing like it used to be. I can’t believe I spent eighteen years in a marriage like the one I had when I now see how marriage should be.”

  “Carter makes me feel like that,” I admitted, watching as he went backwards off of his boogie board and laid in the water, his chest rising and falling with laughter.

  “I know he does,” Liane said. “He’s his father. Even though he didn’t grow up with him, there are so many things Carter does that remind me of Blake. Now that he’s spent a lot of the last five years with him for guidance, I see it even more. He’s going to make a great husband and father, Julia. You saw him with the kids.”

  I wasn’t sure what the feeling was that came over me. Did Carter want to be my husband? Did I want to be his wife? I knew that answer—- absolutely. I wasn’t sure if Carter was quite there yet. After all, we’d only been dating a few months. “Yes. He’s amazing with Gretchen and the boys.”

  “Gretchen and Jackson love their brother like he’s an extension of their daddy. Don’t tell him this, but when he’s gone, they cry for him every night. Logan is so little he doesn’t know him yet, but he will.”

  “I was thinking about asking Carter if he wanted to come back here to live,” I said. “What do you think about that?”

  “I know everything that happened with your family, and I’m very sorry. I hope it all works out. I know Carter was excited to get out of Florida and live in Colorado, but Blake and I would love for the two of you to live here. Talk to him about it, sweetie. You’re both trying to find your places now that things kind of got shaken up for you. For the record, I’m proud of both of you.”

  “You are?” For some reason, the approval of what I was doing from Carter’s mom made me feel a million times better.

  “Yes. Standing up for what you know is right will always be the best in the long run. Both of you will find your places. Carter said you love interior design?”

  “Yes. I volunteer with Colorado Cares and get to do a lot of that with them.”

  “Carter told us about that. He’s been doing it with you, right? He told me about that family he met with the little boy.”

  “Garrett. He really got to Carter. He told him he didn’t have a dad for a while because he was a bad man, but now he had a new dad who loved him even though he wasn’t his real son. I think Carter needed to hear that, even though his situation isn’t the same.”

  Liane nodded. “People are put in our lives for a reason. I have no doubt little Garrett was put in Carter’s to teach him to let go and accept love again.”

  Blake and Carter dropped their boards in the sand in front of us, both dripping water and still laughing.

  “I’m not as young as I once was,” Blake laughed, leaning over and kissing Liane. Despite him dripping water all over her, she only smiled. “This kid kicks my tail.”

  Carter grinned, leaning over to kiss me. The cool water felt good on my skin. “Want to go in the water with me?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I shook my head at his innuendo. He nodded his head, reaching around and lifting me up.

  “Carter! Stop! Put me down!” I giggled as he carried me to the water like I was nothing. He slid me down his body, and I gasped. “That is cold!”

  He put his lips against my ear. “Let’s go out further in the water and I’ll show you how warm it can get. This bathing suit alone is enough to warm up anything.”

  I looked over at his parents, who were lost in their own moment. I followed Carter out farther into the cool water, not sure I could turn down what he was offering any more.

  I tapped my toes at the music playing on the beach. The sun had set long ago and it was nearing midnight. We’d had a great day. I’d gotten to meet a lot of great people that were Blake and Li’s friends, including Mia, or Dr. Mia as Carter called her. She was hilarious and quite a spitfire. I’d liked her instantly. She’d had some ‘flavor of the month’ with her (as she called it).

  We’d eaten until we thought we’d burst, talked, danced, and now Carter and I were sitting on the beach. The party was still going, but he’d brought two chairs down by the water for us to have some time together.

  “This has been the best week,” I said, squeezing his fingers. I loved how he always wanted to touch me. “I’m sad we’re going home tomorrow.”

  “It’s been the best week,” Carter agreed. “Time to get back to reality, I guess. We have to figure out what we’re going to do for work and get your stuff moved into my place.”

  “I had an idea,” I said, my stomach fluttering with nerves.

  “What’s that, baby?” Carter leaned over and kissed me softly, almost making me lose my train of thought as his tongue slid against mine. “Today, in the water? That was on a short list of the hottest times. So far.” My face flamed. I still couldn’t believe he’d convinced me to have sex in the water with his parents not far away. They’d been busy and hadn’t even been looking at us, but still. He made me crazy.

  “You make me lose my mind, and all sense of rationale,” I teased. “I can’t believe I let you do that.”

  “You liked it. Scratch that. You loved it. Hmm, I want you again. Maybe we should take a night swim.”

  “No way. There are creepy things in that water during the day. At night? Not a chance.”

  “What was your idea?”

  I’d already forgotten that I was trying to tell him my idea. He made me lose my mind. “What would you think about looking for jobs here?”

  “Here? Florida?”

  I nodded. “I love your family, Carter. You miss them, and they’re such an important part of who you are. I know you wanted to live somewhere else, and that’s fine too. I just thought I’d throw that out there as an option.”

  “You’d move to Florida? For me?”

  “Carter.” I got up and settled myself in his lap. “I love you. I’d go anywhere for you. Honestly, there’s nothing in Denver for me anymore. Yes, I have friends there, but they’ll still be my friends no matter where I live. If you want to stay there, though, I’m fine wi
th that, too.”

  “Julia, there are so many times when I wonder what in the world I did to deserve you. This is one of those times. I want to do what’s best for both of us, not just me, though.”

  “I can get a job anywhere. You look for what’s best for you to finish your internship and get a job. We can stay in Colorado through the rest of this year until your lease is up and let you get an internship somewhere. Maybe it will work out with Colorado Cares, and we can both stay there for the rest of this year. After that, we can see what’s best.”

  Carter nodded. “Sounds good. We’ll see what happens once we get back. Come on, let’s walk. It’s almost midnight.” He took my hand as we walked down the beach, the moonlight lighting our path. The sounds of the party died off as we walked farther.

  He looked at his watch. “One minute. I wanted it to be just us on our first New Years together.” He turned and wrapped his arms around me, brushing his lips with mine.

  “You aren’t supposed to kiss me yet.”

  He kissed me again. “Try to stop me.”

  “Nope. I won’t.”

  We could hear cheers down the beach. “Happy New Year, Julia. I love you.”

  “Happy New Year, Carter. I love you, too.”

  He lifted me, and we kissed, our mouths hungry to express our feelings for each other. I stroked his face as we made love with our mouths. Kissing Carter was intoxicating and consuming; I could never get enough. Much too soon, he pulled back and put me down.

  “Hey, I was enjoying that,” I teased.

  “Me too. But I want to show you something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Let’s play a game. Turn around.”

  I listened, turning around and looking at the water. The waves rippled, the only sound the water lapping onto the shore. The full moon shone on the water, giving us a night light. “What am I looking at? It’s beautiful out here, but I’d much rather be looking at you. What’s the game?” I heard the start of a song, which he must be playing on his phone. I didn’t know the song, but the ballad immediately got my attention.