Haunted Heart

by Susan Laine

  The sweet request had Ruben all but plummeting off the precipice of pleasure already. He nodded frantically. “Yes. Yes.” He barely recognized his own voice, hoarse and pleading.

  With a happy grin, Duncan returned to blowing Ruben, and he did it with gusto.

  Ruben couldn’t take it anymore. “Please, Duncan. Oh God.”

  Then Duncan did this thing with his hand—a twist at the base of Ruben’s shaft—and with his mouth—as though his nimble, snakelike tongue was everywhere at once. And that was it for Ruben.

  With an inarticulate cry, he felt his balls hike up and explode, sending out fiery jets of come into Duncan’s eager, waiting mouth. Ruben’s hips bucked, his heart thudded until he was deaf and in danger of imminent heart attack, and every muscle in his body was strung taut. He felt like he was sweating by the bucketloads, and his body couldn’t stop shaking. His cock was soon so sensitive even Duncan’s soft tongue felt excruciating.

  Just when Ruben was about to call the man off, Duncan pulled away, licking his lips, a sated look on his face. “Yum, delectable. Can’t wait to get another serving.” He chuckled enticingly and winked like a shameless rogue.

  If Ruben hadn’t been so out of it, flying high on afterglow, he would have said or done something to acknowledge the miracle Duncan had given him. As it was, though, he could only offer a flicker of a smile, a drowsy “Mmm-hmm”, and half a thumbs-up.

  “Glad you’re all right,” Duncan added after a while, sounding relieved.

  Way better than all right, Ruben thought, too tired to give voice to his contentment. He heard soft rustling and cracked an eyelid open a sliver.

  What he saw made his eyes pop wide open.

  Duncan was cleaning himself up with a napkin. Wiping come off his cock, to be exact. Ruben’s breath hitched in his throat as he stared at the savory piece of hung meat before him. Duncan was huge, dark-tinted, and beautiful. Duncan turned his face to Ruben when he heard him gasp.

  “For you, Ruben. Whenever you want.” He smiled softly, tucked his spent, now-clean dick back in his pants, and zipped up. “No rush, though. Let’s get some rest, yeah?” He inched his body closer to Ruben, tenderly pulled up Ruben’s underwear and jeans to cover his licked-clean groin, and rested himself near Ruben, just shy of touching distance as they lay side by side on the blanket. “You okay?” Duncan studied Ruben’s face intently, leaning up on his elbow.

  Ruben nodded. He was in a state beyond words, his experience unknown to his current vocabulary, his feelings and sensations all over the place, soaring and exalted.

  Duncan smiled, seemingly understanding Ruben’s state of mind. “Good.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from Ruben’s forehead, caressing his skin briefly. “Great.” Then he nuzzled his neck, planting a chaste kiss there, below Ruben’s ear.

  Ruben shivered. His heart flew free for the first time in his life. “T-thank you, Duncan, for everything. Just… thank you.”

  Duncan gathered Ruben close until they were spooning, Ruben’s back to Duncan’s chest. “My pleasure.” Then he quieted, lying in peace. Ruben appreciated the privacy for reflection he was being given.

  Ruben scooted closer to Duncan until there was no space between them. Though they were fully clothed, the embrace was mildly erotic and heavily emotionally charged. So much had happened between them; he could scarcely make sense of it all.

  The one thing that came through the loudest out of the red fog still clouding his brain was the fact that Ruben had given Duncan his trust, and the man hadn’t failed or betrayed him. Not once had his fingers, tongue, even his breath so much as brushed against his hole. Yes, Ruben had been keenly aware how his hole twitched like mad, in anticipation of being pleasured. But… Duncan had steered clear, avoiding giving Ruben’s panic cause to rise and make trouble. Duncan had given Ruben everything, neither expecting nor demanding anything in return. His selflessness was a testament to Ruben’s leap of faith, how this time he had gotten it right.

  And if this was what he had to look forward to in regards to sex? Awesome!

  He allowed his fleeting thoughts and emotions to swirl around in a sea of sensations, his body still sending little lightning jolts of pleasure streaming through his awareness. His climax had been a cry of deliverance from all the shame, guilt, and pain that had weighed down on him for so long he barely knew how to exist beyond them.

  Curiously, though, Ruben wasn’t plagued with a single doubt or regret.

  Chapter 13

  “YOU’RE DOING it again,” Maggie remarked from the seat across from Duncan’s desk. Humor colored her tone, if the wicked grin wasn’t hint enough.

  Silently, Duncan cursed himself for being so obvious. At the oddest times of the day, he found himself grinning goofily, daydreaming with glazed eyes, even humming happily.

  “Mind your own business, Mags,” he growled out, but without much vehemence. He was simply too blissed-out to care about her nosing in his private affairs.

  “Your business is my business, boss man,” she retorted, not batting an eye.

  Duncan sighed. He longed to tell her everything that had happened between him and Ruben, but a big part of him—his heart, namely—wished to keep recent events locked away from prying eyes a bit longer. It had only been a week since their monumentally successful date that had changed the game.

  Only it wasn’t a game, Duncan knew. All too aware of what these signs indicated, he struggled to let his reason speak over his emotions. But he couldn’t.

  I’m falling in love with Ruben.

  “Oh my God, really?” Maggie’s eyes widened in surprise.

  Had he said that out loud? Probably. He was a mess, not knowing which way was up, which was down. “Yeah….”

  Maggie waited a moment, nodding a bit, apparently digesting the news. “I take it something major happened the last time you two hooked up?”

  Duncan frowned. “I don’t want to get into it. Private.”

  “I’m not asking for details, boss man.” Maggie smiled in that understanding way some women did when they instinctively figured everything out. “Whatever did happen, it convinced you you’re in love with him?”

  Duncan shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I guess it’s been coming on so gradually I didn’t even realize until….” He swallowed hard, reining in his emotional response. “Until he let me see him for who he really is.”

  “Uh-huh.” It seemed Maggie was a master when it came to reading between the lines. “If you’re worried about company policy, you know fraternization is not a problem for—”

  “Yeah, I know that. Ruben’s a contractor, not a regular employee.” Duncan waved a hand dismissively. “It’s Ruben’s mental health I’m worried about. We crossed some lines last time. With his consent. But still….”

  “You’re worried you may have gone too far,” Maggie finished the thought for him. “Did he say something to that effect?”

  Duncan recalled the day with vivid clarity. After they had taken a wee nap, they had cleaned up and gone their separate ways. Ruben hadn’t asked Duncan to spend the night and neither had Duncan suggested he might like to. Their parting had been bittersweet, with lots of kissing in the front hall before Duncan had left. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure what Ruben’s true reaction had been. Or what it would be now, a week later.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. He didn’t panic or anything. He didn’t yell or throw me out. We just… said good night.”

  “Did he kiss you good night?”

  Duncan stared at Maggie sharply. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  Maggie smiled. “If he did, you’re all right. If he didn’t, you’ve got your work cut out for yourself.” When Duncan reminisced on the passionate embrace that ended the evening, Maggie obviously read his mind. Or his reddened cheeks. “See? It’s fine.” Right away she hopped up on her feet. “It’s after five. Go. Meet your boyfriend. Make out some more. Find out where you stand. No need to be a tight-lipped caveman all th
e time, boss.”

  Duncan rolled his eyes and waved her off. As usual, she got the message and left. She worked long hours, a dedicated and loyal assistant, and Duncan would happily let her leave early if she wanted to. Not that she often asked.

  “Okay, I’m off. Call me on my cell if anything pressing comes up,” Duncan hollered after Maggie, getting up and shrugging on his jacket.

  “Got it, boss man,” she called back, already at her desk where he couldn’t see her.

  Well, Duncan surmised, it was time to confront Ruben and have a talk.

  DUNCAN ONLY got one knock in before Ruben yanked the door wide open in haste. Duncan might have been worried about the rash reception had he not seen the wide grin plastered on Ruben’s face. His gray eyes twinkled as he beckoned Duncan inside.

  “You’re here.” The eager enthusiasm shining in him made him, just as Duncan had described, incandescent. “Please, come in.”

  “Thanks.” For a reason he didn’t wish to tackle at the moment, Duncan felt shy and out of place, but he stepped inside nonetheless, then took off his suit jacket and hung it from the coat rack by the door. “You’re all jazzed up. Something good happen today?”

  “Nope. Not today. A week ago. And… I’m still buzzed.” A fierce blush crept up over Ruben’s cheeks and neck, and his smile was soft and tentative, as if unsure.

  Duncan’s heart leaped at the words. It wasn’t like his condition was any different from Ruben’s. He was still feeling the hot weight of Ruben’s cock on his tongue, brushing against his palate, hitting the back of his throat. He could taste the briny come that had spilled out of Ruben when he orgasmed, like a drink of pure nectar. He recalled the loud moans from the trembling body in front of him and the sweet smells of male musk, fresh sweat, and sex permeating the air.

  Never before had sex for Duncan been so visceral, so palpable, so filled with in-your-face sensations. He couldn’t shove the thoughts away. There was no dark corner within him deep or black enough where he didn’t remember what had happened with painstaking detail.

  And Duncan had come from a mere few strokes of his own dick, without the typical other man’s hand, mouth, or ass around his needy organ. In fact, he’d barely had time to snag open the fly of his pants and grab his cock before shooting his load all over the place. He had been so turned on. It was a totally new experience for him, groundbreaking, earth-shattering, banishing all previous sexual encounters to utter oblivion.

  Nothing compared to Ruben.

  Duncan smiled. “Me too. Like I said, you distract me at work. My assistant is smirking behind my back enough as it is.” He winked to indicate he wasn’t being reproachful.

  Ruben giggled. Duncan’s eyes widened. It was a sound of pure joy, bubbly and lovely, like a sip of champagne. To know he had been the cause of such happiness made Duncan all but jump for joy himself.

  “Coffee?” Ruben suggested.

  “Sure. Thanks.”

  Ruben dashed to the kitchen, and Duncan sauntered to the sitting room. The gas fireplace wasn’t lit tonight, but the room was warm. It had been a sunny day for a change. The blanket they had slept on was gone, but Duncan’s gaze was riveted on the spot where they had lain side by side in the balmy warmth of afterglow.

  He was so engrossed in reliving past events he lost track of time. A small tap on his shoulder awoke Duncan from his erotic reverie.

  Ruben was blushing, so his thoughts must have taken a similar course. “Your coffee.” He offered Duncan a cup of steaming-hot black liquid, and Duncan inhaled deeply.

  “Mmm, smells great. Thanks.”

  They sat down on opposite sides of the coffee table, both in the middle of their respective couches. For a time, they surreptitiously glanced at each other and the room where they had been intimate, while they sipped their coffee.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Duncan saw Ruben fidgeting on his seat, and nervous as to what that might suggest, he asked, “Are you all right? Any, um, regrets?” God, how he feared the idea that “yes” could be the answer.

  Ruben looked at Duncan, startled and wide-eyed. Then he smiled and shook his head. “No. Not a one.” He lowered his gaze, twirling the coffee cup slowly in his hands, as if about to say something. “I didn’t think I could ever feel good about… that. You know, sex.” His cheeks pinked as he spoke. “To be honest, I had, um, fantasies. But I never really had any, eh, expectations. I was too afraid of, well, everything.”

  Once he quieted for a bit, Duncan felt safe to speak. “I hope the reality was better than the dreams.”

  “Oh, way better!” Ruben grinned almost cheekily. Duncan wondered if this is what the boy would have been like had his growth not been interrupted, even halted, by the rape. This new, self-confident, smart, sensual young man was a sight to behold.

  “Way, way better,” Ruben added for emphasis.

  Duncan bowed his head humbly to acknowledge the sweet compliment. “I think you have yourself to thank. You lit up, Ruben. You did that, not me.”

  Ruben pursed his lips in mock scolding. “Such modesty.” Duncan chuckled, and then Ruben joined him. “I admit I have thought of little else the past week.”

  “That sounds eerily familiar.”

  “Good.” Ruben sounded pleased, with himself and with Duncan. Then he looked at Duncan from under his lashes. “A-are we going to do it again?”

  Duncan rubbed his jaw, as if he were considering it. But he was certain his smug grin gave him away because Ruben looked about ready to toss his coffee at him. “Anytime you want.”

  At that, Ruben cocked his head to the side, suddenly pensive. “What do you want, Duncan?”

  This was the moment Duncan had been dreading. “Listen. We need to talk.”

  Upon hearing that, Ruben sat up straighter, his face paling in abject horror. “You don’t want to see me anymore…?” His voice had gone small.

  Duncan heard himself growl at that, and he fought for control. He sidestepped the coffee table and sat next to Ruben, taking his hands in his own. “No, Ruben. No. That’s not it.” He took a deep breath. “It’s the exact opposite, to be honest. But… I’m afraid I might be pushing things too hard, too fast, too everything. I’m worried you… want to take a step back, that you rue the day I made my way into your secluded, safe life, and forced you—”

  He had to stop there when Ruben’s grip turned to painfully tight and rough.

  “Stop. Right. There.” A fiery strength unlike any Duncan had heard from Ruben’s lips emerged, scalding Duncan with its relentlessness. There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, but Duncan couldn’t turn away. “Let me see if I got this. First you tell me you like me so much you want to spend more, not less, time with me. Then you say you think I want to call things off, that I may have doubts about what we did, and that you possibly took advantage of me by pressing us to have sex.”

  That about summed it up, Duncan thought. “Yeah, that’s, uh… right.”

  Ruben’s eyes narrowed, and Duncan swallowed.

  He had been confident throughout his life, never one to feel weak, agitated, or anxious about a relationship with a guy. Not that he had a lot of those. A few, though. More than Ruben, obviously.

  But Ruben, with his mix of innocent shyness and blazing strength, brought Duncan to his knees. Duncan’s heart wanted things he had no idea how to get from this skittish young man. Was he being selfish? Or was it just his dreaming heart wishing upon a star for the impossible?

  “Duncan…,” Ruben started, frustration and anger vanishing, leaving behind the quiet, shy guy Duncan had met mere weeks ago. “You gave me a precious gift, one I never thought I’d get.” He let out a breathless, resigned chuckle with no humor. “And here I believed I was the one who had doubts.”

  Duncan was ashamed. Amid his misgivings he had unintentionally put Ruben’s self-assuredness under suspicion. “Ruben.” He heard his own voice crack. “I’ve never been like this, so worried about a lover.” He studied his young partner’s beautiful features,
the pale skin, the full lips, the haunted eyes, gray like the wings of a dove. “I guess I was afraid I had pushed the envelope, even if you told me I hadn’t. The reason’s because I… I have feelings for you.”

  That made Ruben start, a deer-in-headlights look on his face. “R-really?”

  “Yes.” Duncan frowned, though he wished he hadn’t. He must have been sending all kinds of mixed messages. “That’s why I’m so messed up, you see. I have all these feelings for you, and I’m worried I’m moving too fast for your comfort lev—”

  “Trust me, Duncan,” Ruben cut in, smiling again. “Trust me to know by now, after all that’s happened to me, that I am more than capable of saying no if I don’t want to do something. Okay?” Then he pursed his lips, feigning a cunning look. “So, when you say feelings….”

  Duncan smiled, not breaking their eye contact. “I’m falling for you, Ruben. More than liking you, more than being attracted to you. I’m talking about love, Ruben. Love. Falling in love with you. Loving you till the end of my days.” He swallowed, once again hesitating at the speed with which things were proceeding.

  But the rapturous expression Ruben sported was answer enough. “Duncan, I….”

  “I didn’t say it so you would feel obliged to—”

  “Shush.” Ruben placed a finger over Duncan’s lips to stop his rambling. “I’ve felt a… a connection with you since the day we met. I tried to fight it. Well, that is to say, my panic, fears, and doubts tried to do battle with my heart and soul. But… I guess I won.” The half-victorious, half-embarrassed look on his face was priceless, and Duncan had to smile at that.

  “So… you don’t think this is too soon?”

  “For us? Or in general?”

  “Either. Both.”

  “Well, assuming there’s an us….”

  “Oh, there’s an us, rest assured.”

  Ruben grinned. “I’ve waited all my life to… to feel something other than terror at the idea of being with someone. Over time, since the rape, that worry twisted into the worst kind of dread, and I couldn’t even consider being in the same house with another man, let alone letting them love me in any way, shape, or form.”