Collected Shorter Fiction, Volume 2

by Leo Tolstoy

  Tarás the King got angry, and banished the merchant from the country. But the merchant settled just across the frontier, and went on as before. For the sake of the merchant’s money, people took everything to him instead of to the King.

  Things went badly with King Tarás. For days together he had nothing to eat, and a rumour even got about that the merchant was boasting that he would buy up the King himself! King Tarás got frightened, and did not know what to do.

  At this time Simon the Soldier came to him, saying, ‘Help me, for the King of India has conquered me.’

  But King Tarás himself was over head and ears in difficulties. ‘I myself’, said he, ‘have had nothing to eat for two days.’

  XI

  HAVING done with the two brothers, the old Devil went to Iván. He changed himself into a General, and coming to Iván began to persuade him that he ought to have an army.

  ‘It does not become a king,’ said he, ‘to be without an army. Only give me the order, and I will collect soldiers from among your people, and form one.’

  Iván listened to him. ‘All right,’ said Iván, ‘form an army, and teach them to sing songs well. I like to hear them do that.’

  So the old Devil went through Iván’s kingdom to enlist men. He told them to go and be entered as soldiers, and each should have a quart of spirits and a fine red cap.

  The people laughed.

  ‘We have plenty of spirits,’ said they. ‘We make it ourselves; and as for caps, the women make all kinds of them, even striped ones with tassels.’

  So nobody would enlist.

  The old Devil came to Iván and said: ‘Your fools won’t enlist of their own free will. We shall have to make them.’

  ‘All right,’ said Iván, ‘you can try.’

  So the old Devil gave notice that all the people were to enlist, and that Iván would put to death anyone who refused.

  The people came to the General and said, ‘You say that if we do not go as soldiers the King will put us to death, but you don’t say what will happen if we do enlist. We have heard say that soldiers get killed!’

  ‘Yes, that happens sometimes.’

  When the people heard this they became obstinate.

  ‘We won’t go,’ said they. ‘Better meet death at home. Either way we must die.’

  ‘Fools! You are fools!’ said the old Devil. ‘A soldier may be killed or he may not, but if you don’t go, King Iván will have you killed for certain.’

  The people were puzzled, and went to Iván the Fool to consult him.

  ‘A General has come,’ said they, ‘who says we must all become soldiers. “If you go as soldiers,” says he, “you may be killed or you may not, but if you don’t go, King Iván will certainly kill you.” Is this true?’

  Iván laughed and said, ‘How can I, alone, put all you to death? If I were not a fool I would explain it to you, but as it is, I don’t understand it myself.’

  ‘Then,’ said they, ‘we will not serve.’

  ‘All right,’ says he, ‘don’t.’

  So the people went to the General and refused to enlist. And the old Devil saw that this game was up, and he went off and ingratiated himself with the King of Tarakán.

  ‘Let us make war,’ says he, ‘and conquer King Iván’s country. It is true there is no money, but there is plenty of corn and cattle and everything else.’

  So the King of Tarakán prepared to make war. He mustered a great army, provided rifles and cannons, marched to the frontier, and entered Iván’s kingdom.

  And people came to Iván and said, ‘The King of Tarakán is coming to make war on us.’

  ‘All right,’ said Iván, ‘let him come.’

  Having crossed the frontier, the King of Tarakán sent scouts to look for Iván’s army. They looked and looked, but there was no army! They waited and waited for one to appear somewhere, but there were no signs of an army, and nobody to fight with. The King of Tarakán then sent to seize the villages. The soldiers came to a village, and the people, both men and women, rushed out in astonishment to stare at the soldiers. The soldiers began to take their corn and cattle; the people let them have it, and did not resist. The soldiers went on to another village; the same thing happened again. The soldiers went on for one day, and for two days, and everywhere the same thing happened. The people let them have everything, and no one resisted, but only invited the soldiers to live with them.

  ‘Poor fellows,’ said they, ‘if you have a hard life in your own land, why don’t you come and stay with us altogether?’

  The soldiers marched and marched: still no army, only people living and feeding themselves and others, and not resisting, but inviting the soldiers to stay and live with them. The soldiers found it dull work, and they came to the King of Tarakán and said, ‘We cannot fight here, lead us elsewhere. War is all right, but what is this? It is like cutting pea-soup! We will not make war here any more.’

  The King of Tarakán grew angry, and ordered his soldiers to over-run the whole kingdom, to destroy the villages, to burn the grain and the houses, and to slaughter the cattle. ‘And if you do not obey my orders,’ said he, ‘I will execute you all.’

  The soldiers were frightened, and began to act according to the King’s orders. They began to burn houses and corn, and to kill cattle. But the fools still offered no resistance, and only wept. The old men wept, and the old women wept, and the young people wept.

  ‘Why do you harm us?’ they said. ‘Why do you waste good things? If you need them, why do you not take them for yourselves?’

  At last the soldiers could stand it no longer. They refused to go any further, and the army disbanded and fled.

  XII

  THE old Devil had to give it up. He could not get the better of Iván with soldiers. So he changed himself into a fine gentleman, and settled down in Iván’s kingdom. He meant to overcome him by means of money, as he had overcome Tarás the Stout.

  ‘I wish’, says he, ‘to do you a good turn, to teach you sense and reason. I will build a house among you and organize a trade.’

  ‘All right,’ said Iván, ‘come and live among us if you like.’

  Next morning the fine gentleman went out into the public square with a big sack of gold and a sheet of paper, and said, ‘You all live like swine. I wish to teach you how to live properly. Build me a house according to this plan. You shall work, I will tell you how, and I will pay you with gold coins.’ And he showed them the gold.

  The fools were astonished; there was no money in use among them; they bartered their goods, and paid one another with labour. They looked at the gold coins with surprise.

  ‘What nice little things they are!’ said they.

  And they began to exchange their goods and labour for the gentleman’s gold pieces. And the old Devil began, as in Tarás’s kingdom, to be free with his gold, and the people began to exchange everything for gold and to do all sorts of work for it.

  The old Devil was delighted, and thought he to himself, ‘Things are going right this time. Now I shall ruin the Fool as I did Tarás, and I shall buy him up body and soul.’

  But as soon as the fools had provided themselves with gold pieces they gave them to the women for necklaces. The lasses plaited them into their tresses, and at last the children in the street began to play with the little pieces. Everybody had plenty of them, and they stopped taking them. But the fine gentleman’s mansion was not yet half-built, and the grain and cattle for the year were not yet provided. So he gave notice that he wished people to come and work for him, and that he wanted cattle and grain; for each thing, and for each service, he was ready to give many more pieces of gold.

  But nobody came to work, and nothing was brought. Only sometimes a boy or a little girl would run up to exchange an egg for a gold coin, but nobody else came, and he had nothing to eat. And being hungry, the fine gentleman went through the village to try and buy something for dinner. He tried at one house, and offered a gold piece for a fowl, but the housewife wouldn’
t take it.

  ‘I have a lot already,’ said she.

  He tried at a widow’s house to buy a herring, and offered a gold piece.

  ‘I don’t want it, my good sir,’ said she. ‘I have no children to play with it, and I myself already have three coins as curiosities.’

  He tried at a peasant’s house to get bread, but neither would the peasant take money.

  ‘I don’t need it,’ said he, ‘but if you are begging “for Christ’s sake”,1 wait a bit and I’ll tell the housewife to cut you a piece of bread.’

  At that the Devil spat, and ran away. To hear Christ’s name mentioned, let alone receiving anything for Christ’s sake, hurt him more than sticking a knife into him.

  And so he got no bread. Everyone had gold, and no matter where the old Devil went, nobody would give anything for money, but everyone said, ‘Either bring something else, or come and work, or receive what you want in charity for Christ’s sake.’

  But the old Devil had nothing but money; for work he had no liking, and as for taking anything ‘for Christ’s sake’ he could not do that. The old Devil grew very angry.

  ‘What more do you want, when I give you money?’ said he. ‘You can buy everything with gold, and hire any kind of labourer.’ But the fools did not heed him.

  ‘No, we do not want money,’ said they. ‘We have no payments to make, and no taxes, so what should we do with it?’

  The old Devil lay down to sleep – supperless.

  The affair was told to Iván the Fool. People came and asked him, ‘What are we to do? A fine gentleman has turned up, who likes to eat and drink and dress well, but he does not like to work, does not beg in “Christ’s name”, but only offers gold pieces to everyone. At first people gave him all he wanted, until they had plenty of gold pieces, but now no one gives him anything. What’s to be done with him? He will die of hunger before long.’

  Iván listened.

  ‘All right,’ says he, ‘we must feed him. Let him live by turn at each house as a shepherd2 does.’

  There was no help for it. The old Devil had to begin making the round.

  In due course the turn came for him to go to Iván’s house. The old Devil came in to dinner, and the dumb girl was getting it ready.

  She had often been deceived by lazy folk who came early to dinner – without having done their share of work – and ate up all the porridge, so it had occurred to her to find out the sluggards by their hands. Those who had horny hands, she put at the table, but the others got only the scraps that were left over.

  The old Devil sat down at the table, but the dumb girl seized him by the hands and looked at them – there were no hard places there: the hands were clean and smooth, with long nails. The dumb girl gave a grunt and pulled the Devil away from the table. And Iván’s wife said to him, ‘Don’t be offended, fine gentleman. My sister-in-law does not allow anyone to come to table who hasn’t horny hands. But wait awhile, after the folk have eaten you shall have what is left.’

  The old Devil was offended that in the King’s house they wished him to feed like a pig. He said to Iván, ‘It is a foolish law you have in your kingdom that everyone must work with his hands. It’s your stupidity that invented it. Do people work only with their hands? What do you think wise men work with?’

  And Iván said, ‘How are we fools to know? We do most of our work with our hands and our backs.’

  ‘That is because you are fools! But I will teach you how to work with the head. Then you will know that it is more profitable to work with the head than with the hands.’

  Iván was surprised.

  ‘If that is so,’ said he, ‘then there is some sense in calling us fools!’

  And the old Devil went on. ‘Only it is not easy to work with one’s head. You give me nothing to eat, because I have no hard places on my hands, but you do not know that it is a hundred times more difficult to work with the head. Sometimes one’s head quite splits.’

  Iván became thoughtful.

  ‘Why, then, friend, do you torture yourself so? Is it pleasant when the head splits? Would it not be better to do easier work with your hands and your back?’

  But the Devil said, ‘I do it all out of pity for you fools. If I didn’t torture myself you would remain fools for ever. But, having worked with my head, I can now teach you.’

  Iván was surprised.

  ‘Do teach us!’ said he, ‘so that when our hands get cramped we may use our heads for a change.’

  And the Devil promised to teach the people. So Iván gave notice throughout the kingdom that a fine gentleman had come who would teach everybody how to work with their heads; that with the head more could be done than with the hands; and that the people ought all to come and learn.

  Now there was in Iván’s kingdom a high tower, with many steps leading up to a lantern on the top. And Iván took the gentleman up there that everyone might see him.

  So the gentleman took his place on the top of the tower and began to speak, and the people came together to see him. They thought the gentleman would really show them how to work with the head without using the hands. But the old Devil only taught them in many words how they might live without working. The people could make nothing of it. They looked and considered, and at last went off to attend to their affairs.

  The old Devil stood on the tower a whole day, and after that a second day, talking all the time. But standing there so long he grew hungry, and the fools never thought of taking food to him up in the tower. They thought that if he could work with his head better than with his hands, he could at any rate easily provide himself with bread.

  The old Devil stood on the top of the tower yet another day, talking away. People came near, looked on for awhile, and then went away.

  And Iván asked, ‘Well, has the gentleman begun to work with his head yet?’

  ‘Not yet,’ said the people; ‘he’s still spouting away.’

  The old Devil stood on the tower one day more, but he began to grow weak, so that he staggered and hit his head against one of the pillars of the lantern. One of the people noticed it and told Iván’s wife, and she ran to her husband, who was in the field.

  ‘Come and look,’ said she. ‘They say the gentleman is beginning to work with his head.’

  Iván was surprised.

  ‘Really?’ says he, and he turned his horse round, and went to the tower. And by the time he reached the tower the old Devil was quite exhausted with hunger, and was staggering and knocking his head against the pillars. And just as Iván arrived at the tower, the Devil stumbled, fell, and came bump, bump, bump, straight down the stairs to the bottom, counting each step with a knock of his head!

  ‘Well!’ says Iván, ‘the fine gentleman told the truth when he said that “sometimes one’s head quite splits”. This is worse than blisters; after such work there will be swellings on the head.’

  The old Devil tumbled out at the foot of the stairs, and struck his head against the ground. Iván was about to go up to him to see how much work he had done – when suddenly the earth opened and the old Devil fell through. Only a hole was left.

  Iván scratched his head.

  ‘What a nasty thing,’ says he. ‘It’s one of those devils again! What a whopper! He must be the father of them all.’

  Iván is still living, and people crowd to his kingdom. His own brothers have come to live with him, and he feeds them, too. To everyone who comes and says, ‘Give me food!’ Iván says, ‘All right. You can stay with us; we have plenty of everything.’

  Only there is one special custom in his kingdom: whoever has horny hands comes to table, but whoever has not, must eat what the others leave.

  1 ‘For Christ’s sake’ is the usual appeal of Russian beggars or poor pilgrims.

  2 It is often arranged that the shepherd who looks after the cattle of a Russian village Commune should get his board and lodging at the houses of the villagers, passing from one to another in turn.

  STORIES WRITTEN TO

>   PICTURES

  EVIL ALLURES, BUT GOOD ENDURES

  THERE lived in olden times a good and kindly man. He had this world’s goods in abundance, and many slaves to serve him. And the slaves prided themselves on their master, saying:

  ‘There is no better lord than ours under the sun. He feeds and clothes us well, and gives us work suited to our strength. He bears no malice, and never speaks a harsh word to anyone. He is not like other masters, who treat their slaves worse than cattle: punishing them whether they deserve it or not, and never giving them a friendly word. He wishes us well, does good, and speaks kindly to us. We do not wish for a better life.’

  Thus the slaves praised their lord, and the Devil, seeing it, was vexed that slaves should live in such love and harmony with their master. So getting one of them, whose name was Aleb, into his power, the Devil ordered him to tempt the other slaves. And one day, when they were all sitting together resting and talking of their master’s goodness, Aleb raised his voice, and said:

  ‘It is stupid to make so much of our master’s goodness. The Devil himself would be kind to you, if you did what he wanted. We serve our master well, and humour him in all things. As soon as he thinks of anything, we do it: foreseeing all his wishes. What can he do but be kind to us? Just try how it will be if, instead of humouring him, we do him some harm instead. He will act like anyone else, and will repay evil for evil, as the worst of masters do.’

  The other slaves began denying what Aleb had said, and at last bet with him. Aleb undertook to make their master angry. If he failed, he was to lose his holiday garment; but if he succeeded, the other slaves were to give him theirs. Moreover, they promised to defend him against the master, and to set him free if he should be put in chains or imprisoned. Having arranged this bet, Aleb agreed to make his master angry next morning.