Courting Mrs. McCarthy

by Ian Thomas Malone

  He wondered why coming clean about his relationship was such a crime against humanity. There was collateral damage on Jackie’s end with her husband, but he didn’t get why the fallout wouldn’t end after her divorce. Her being married was just the tip of the iceberg for the shock value of their relationship.

  The choice that Nathan needed to make was about whether or not a relationship with Jackie was worth the amount of trouble and potential pain that the inevitable lying would cause. They had fun together, but it came at a steep price. On their first public appearance, they’d run into trouble. There was little doubt as to whether or not Mrs. Kalford would keep quiet. If other people saw them, the rumors would gain more traction.

  He struggled to grasp why people would care what they did, but that didn’t make the cold reality any easier to stomach. There was a decision to be made lest he continue to hurt his aunt or lie to his friends. It didn’t have to be tonight, but he would need to pick between continuing what he had with Jackie, and a life without needing to make sure he had his story straight about his whereabouts.

  While it was only eleven, Nathan climbed into bed for some therapeutic home improvement TV shows. He tried to imagine himself applying some of the ideas to Jerome’s house when he received a text message from Jackie.

  Hey thanks again for tonight, I had a great time. I really like you, Nathan.

  Amidst his confusion, he could at least sleep well that night knowing that it wasn’t all a teenage idealistic fantasy. It was real.

  Chapter 20

  Nathan and Griffin met for breakfast at a local diner. Griffin had wanted to meet at their club, but Nathan was worried about seeing Mrs. Kalford so soon after their last conversation. He was also worried she was spreading rumors about him.

  He had not slept well the night before. Though the text from Jackie reaffirmed that he was at least acting out of genuine reciprocated affection, that didn’t change the decision he was currently facing with regards to their potential futures together. It actually made the matter worse.

  He hesitated to share these thoughts with Griffin, though he did seek the advice of his best friend.

  Griffin, who could basically read his mind from knowing him for so long, asked, “So, did you have a hot date with the Mrs. last night?”

  Nathan didn’t bother asking how he’d known about his date. The only times the two didn’t text at night was when they were with women.

  “It was something all right,” he said. “Hot might not be the best word.”

  This answer gave Griffin the cue not to make any sorts of jokes that might add to the apparent grief of his friend. “Something bad happen?”

  “Parts of it were great, though it ended early because Jackie’s son wasn’t feeling well. It was smooth sailing until that point. Then we ran into Corrine Kalford.”

  Griffin shook his head in disapproval. “Well, that’s a surefire way to get yourself caught. Do you think she suspected anything?”

  “Of course she did, but some quick thinking got rid of her,” Nathan said, thinking of his little stunt with the phone. “She certainly doesn’t have anything solid to go on, not that it’ll stop her from talking. Keep an ear out, though.”

  Griffin still looked concerned. “You dodged a bullet last night, man. It didn’t miss you completely though. Kalford will be back, and if not her, it’ll be someone she’s corrupted. Your little thing with Jackie is going to get out, probably before the summer is over. The woman lives to spread stories.”

  Griffin confirmed what Nathan had been thinking all along without any hints of jealousy or other negativity that might have clouded his judgment. Nathan still wasn’t sure what to make of it though. He wondered if Griffin could shed some more light on it.

  “I don’t really know what to do,” he admitted.

  “Well, I guess you’ve got to ask yourself the question of whether or not you actually care if people talk. I doubt you’re really going to be caught in the act of anything, so if a little gossipy chit chat doesn’t bug you, then I wouldn’t worry about it.”

  This advice was practical, because he never cared what other people thought about him. The people who knew them were all club members, which only meant these were seasonal rumors. The talk would end by winter.

  But then his compassion for the other participant kicked in. “What about Jackie? She’s got a lot more to lose than I do.”

  Griffin shook his head. “That’s her problem, Nate. She’s a grown woman and you shouldn’t really feel the need to base your every decision off the worst case scenario for someone else. It’s good that you care, but really…she can take care of herself.”

  He didn’t want to admit it, but Griffin had made more than a few good points. His decisions had an effect on Jackie, but he didn’t have any insider information, which might prevent her from seeing the blatantly obvious problems their relationship might bring to the table. A chat might be necessary with her regarding what had happened with Kalford.

  “Permission to speak freely?” Griffin said, seeming to pick up on his hesitation.

  This might not be something he wanted to hear, but he knew the value of outside insight from a person who knew him better than anyone else. He nodded.

  “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve had a fear of commitment,” Griffin began. “You’re not exactly open to new people. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it explains what you’re going through with Jackie. After what happened with Sarah, it makes sense that you’d be drawn to someone you can’t have. What you’re feeling now is reservation over the fact that you defied all logic and your uncertainty over how to deal with that.”

  Griffin stood up to give his friend some time to process. He told him to text him if he needed anything, and left.

  What had been said had all been true. Nathan wasn’t hostile to new people, but he wasn’t always the friendliest, and he often turned down requests to hang out one on one until he had a firmer grasp on the other person’s psyche. Griffin usually explained this sort of behavior as “Nathan being Nathan,” but he was protective of his friend.

  He hated to constantly flip-flop on his feelings about what to do with Jackie but he also accepted the idea that it wasn’t an easy decision. This went beyond a simple yes or no. Yes meant going out of his way to end what had so far been a fairly substantial display of personal growth for his mind and body. No meant a continuation of nothing, a plan suggested by Mrs. Buchanan.

  As he contemplated that idea further, he started to see why he naturally rebelled against complacency, which had served as a very viable option thus far. Choosing to remain with the status quo had not necessarily benefited him in the past, but that didn’t mean that it would hurt him in the now. Yet, he still felt weird when it came to thinking about it constantly.

  After deciding to stick with the way things were and to make a conscious effort not to care what people thought about what they would never know really existed in the first place, Nathan headed to Seers Point to take a swim. He didn’t care if Corrine Kalford was there blabbing about his personal life. He only hoped she’d cease to continue popping up in places where she didn’t belong.

  Nathan was pleased to find his club had not turned into a watering hole of gossip about him and Jackie. Mrs. Kalford wasn’t there, and if she’d talked about them, he couldn’t see any signs of it from the adults or from his peers. He was also pleased he was without the paranoia that he’d expected would come.

  The next few days were surprisingly relaxing given the intense self-scrutiny he’d gone through over the past few days. He took this as a form of catharsis for all his negative feelings. He settled back into his usual summer routine. He went with Griffin to the occasional beach party and returned to the library a few times a week to visit Mrs. Buchanan.

  Jackie hadn’t faded to a distant memory, but instead Nathan had carved a little niche for her in his life that wasn’t all encompassing or controlling. This made her a nice contrast to Sarah, who had forcibly tr
ied to become the center of his existence, much to his own annoyance. By allowing himself to accept the fact that Jackie was a woman with three kids, he lived his independent life without feeling like he was doing anything wrong.

  The improvement of his romantic life was seen by almost everyone around him. Griffin noticed he was more social at parties, his aunt saw him with an acceptable amount of his usual distance and weirdness, and Mrs. Buchanan could converse with him at the library without the fear that he might ask her for philosophical romantic advice. Nathan didn’t necessarily see it for himself, but he was maturing a bit.

  One day, he was going through the Groupons he’d purchased on his computer. He had rock climbing, Crossfit, and a pack of t-shirts, which meant that he was required to take advantage of all three deals. He thought about whether Jackie or Griffin would like to accompany him on these adventures when he saw that someone had sent him a Skype invitation. It was Sarah.

  The ring of the video call wouldn’t last forever, giving Nathan only a short window of time to react. He panicked after first, thinking that he’d ignore it, only to change his mind a few times as it rang. He put his hand to the mouse as if he wanted to let fate decide what to do. It wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary to just let it ring. Sarah had often done that when Nathan called her.

  He clicked accept. Knowing Sarah, she had probably spent at least twenty minutes in the bathroom in order to get ready for the call. Nathan didn’t particularly care for more than a few reasons, but he indulged anyway.

  “Hey, Nathan, how’s your summer been?” she asked with a big smile. “Do you miss me?”

  He ignored the fact that it had only been a few weeks since he’d seen her last. “It’s been good. Relaxing. How’s your internship going?” He didn’t even notice that he’d disregarded her second question, which was likely the only one she cared about.

  Sarah looked a bit different than the last time he’d seen her. She was tanner and had highlights in her hair. He had no doubt that both of these modifications were artificial. Sarah was fond of tanning booths.

  “A lot of busy work. I basically get coffee and make photocopies. Not the glamorous time that father had promised me,” she replied, displaying the pretention Nathan had once been attracted to.

  “That’s…good,” Nathan said, who was still somewhat uncomfortable with the vid-cam session. He knew she hadn’t just called him at random to chat.

  Finally, she skipped the pleasantries and cut right to the point. “Look, Nathan, I want to talk about the way we left things.”

  He glanced down as he replied. “Don’t you mean the way things ended?” He made no effort to sugarcoat his hostility.

  This caught Sarah off-guard. “So, Nathan, you just want to throw away everything we had together? I’ll admit I acted a little rash that night. I was drunk and nervous about going away, but I feel really bad about it. It wasn’t like your actions were all high and mighty. You were an ass.”

  There were at least a dozen things that he wanted to say to her at that moment in time. He didn’t feel any anger toward her. This conversation was nothing more than an ill-fated response to the loneliness felt by a girl who wasn’t having the summer of her dreams.

  Instead of berating her, he said, “It’s over, Sarah. You know that and I know that. It’s okay. It wasn’t meant to be.”

  Her sincerity seemed to turn to desperation. “No, Nathan, you can’t mean that. I’ll get my dad to buy you a ticket to come visit. You’re not doing anything anyway. Please just give us one more chance.”

  His next reply was reactionary. “Sarah, I’m seeing someone else now.” It slipped right out of his mouth without as much as a second of thought. He dealt a swift blow to put her out of her misery brought out by incessant pleading. Nathan gasped at what he had just done, fearing a potential opening of Pandora’s Box. He hoped she wouldn’t have one of her friends try to figure out who had replaced her.

  Sarah’s facial expression changed from desperation to immense anger. “Go fuck yourself, Nathan,” she said, before ending the call.

  He was left in confusion at what he had allowed to slip out. His content feelings for his situation had disappeared instantly.

  Or had they? Nathan stopped to consider that what he had said might not necessarily be the worst thing in the world. He hadn’t said who it was. Sarah might ask her friends to search around for information, but they weren’t going to find much unless they pinned Griffin down. He’d have to have a chat about this little slip with Griffin so that he knew not to disclose anything if he ran into Sarah’s friends at any parties. His bases were covered.

  The only thing he was really concerned about was the notion that he’d let out private information. Sarah didn’t exactly hang out with the same crowd as Mrs. Kalford, but if he had revealed information like this at his club, then he’d have to deal with people wondering who this mystery girl was. He made a mental note to be more careful in the future.

  Sarah had ended the call with hateful words, but he didn’t blame her. He’d moved on pretty fast, and he’d surprised her. Sarah might learn that she wasn’t quite the perfect girl she thought she was, but that wasn’t what Nathan had set out to do. He felt bad that he’d hurt her again.

  Chapter 21

  A few more days went by without much word from Jackie. On a Monday morning, she texted him saying she was out for coffee. She wanted to know if she could get him some breakfast, which they could eat at Jerome’s house. Nathan enjoyed the spontaneity of her plan and readily agreed. Spur of the moment decisions were about the only thing he truly liked about Sarah. Though it was hardly an adventure, he was impressed with Jackie.

  No one was home when he left the house, so Nathan didn’t have to lie about his whereabouts. It was too early in the morning for anyone to be concerned, anyway. He’d briefed Griffin as his go-to enforcer for excuses to his aunt. He also told him about what he’d said to Sarah, and was forced to endure some berating for supplying bits of information to yet another known loudmouth.

  Jackie’s car was in his driveway when he arrived. Nathan rushed out of his car to avoid giving the impression that he was keeping her waiting. He hated being late for anything, especially when Jackie was technically a guest at his home. She smiled when she saw him hurrying and told him not to worry.

  “I brought you a blueberry muffin and a mocha latte. I hope that’s all right,” she said as Nathan gave her a hand with the drinks. This was hardly the breakfast of champions that he would’ve made, but the company was more important than the food.

  He was, however, intrigued by the breakfast suggestion. He wondered if there was an ulterior motive. There was a small tingle of guilt in him for thinking that, but he didn’t exactly assume he was wrong.

  They sat down at the kitchen table. He laughed at how much it resembled a model home from an IKEA catalog. Jerome didn’t have much stuff and the house had been cleaned since the last time they were there. The eeriness made Nathan even more suspicious of why he’d been summoned there in the first place. The house was a perfect spot to carry out a mob hit.

  He tried to make conversation with Jackie, who was ripping through her muffin like she was in some sort of a rush. He sipped his drink, which was still fairly warm considering the drive over from the coffee shop. He hadn’t had a muffin since his aunt bought him a bran muffin, which he hated and threw away in the garbage when she wasn’t looking. His cousins had seen him and he had to explain to her that the muffin was at fault and not her for purchasing it.

  “Is everything okay?” Nathan asked, in an effort to figure out why Jackie looked like she was in a hurry. She looked up at him with muffin practically falling out of her mouth.

  “Yeah, why do you ask?” She slowed down a bit, but there wasn’t much more for her to eat.

  “Oh, I guess you’re just eating kind of fast.” He took a sip of his drink. He made a mental note to casually tell her that he was a fan of regular coffee.

  A few seconds after Nat
han had finished his muffin, Jackie asked, “Do you want to sit on the couch?” This question further puzzled him, as he started to put things together. He took another sip of his syrupy beverage. He realized Jackie was exhibiting behavior identical to many of his peers while intoxicated at parties. She wanted to hook up.

  Nathan went with her to the couch, unsure how he felt about the circumstances. He would not have guessed Jackie was the kind of woman who liked morning booty calls. She followed and sat very close to him on the large couch where they first made motions to share intimacy for each other. He realized he’d left his beverage on the kitchen table and started to get up to retrieve it when Jackie stopped him.

  She pushed him back onto the couch and climbed on top of him. Nathan was instantly aroused, but he was still unsure of what to do. It wasn’t even ten in the morning on a Monday, and here she was in his father’s living room mounting him. The one reassuring thing was that he could smell no alcohol on her.

  She started to kiss him, and Nathan reciprocated. He wasn’t a prude by any means, but he sensed that something was wrong. His confusion for what prompted this was undeniable and hard for him to hide. As she was ripping his shirt off, she asked, “Is everything okay, Nathan?”

  He didn’t want it to stop, and nodded yes in approval. She went back to her aggressive approach before noticing his reservation again. He was a poor actor, and he was failing to hide his confusion.

  She rolled over on the couch without saying a word. He heard a few deep nasal breaths coming from her and asked, “Is something wrong, Jackie?”

  She looked up at him. “Not really. Things have been tough these past couple of days,” she said, in a soft voice that was barely audible. She appeared to be on the verge of crying.