Up Shute Creek: Rose Gardner Investigation #4

by Denise Grover Swank

  I already knew I’d be sore, although I wasn’t complaining. “I’m not sure I’d survive it,” I teased as I pulled his mouth back to mine and gave him a long soulful kiss.

  My words fed the animal inside him and he growled, his hands roughly grabbing my breasts as he pulled his mouth free and kissed my neck. “I definitely want more of this, but that’s not what I meant.”

  I pushed my head into the pillow and lifted his face to search his eyes. “I’m not sure what that means.”

  The hunger in his eyes had me ready for round two, but his hands stilled. “I know you’ll have your hands full with your sister, but I want you here more after that situation is all… resolved.”

  The only resolution to Violet’s situation was death, but while his statement was awkwardly worded, I took no offense. He was trying to be delicate. Still, it cooled the heat in my veins.

  “That could be months,” I said. “And I’ve been spending more nights here than at home as it is. I’m not sure how much more time you could have with me other than me movin’ in.”

  He studied me with a blank expression, and I could see an internal battle waging in his eyes as he rolled onto his back, his hands behind his head.

  I propped up on one elbow, my forehead wrinkling as I strained to understand. “Are you askin’ me to move in with you?”

  He frowned and stared up at the ceiling as though realizing what he’d actually asked.

  I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. This conversation was like going from the Sahara Desert to a polar ice plunge. My head was spinning from the contrast. “We both know this is temporary. That question was not my way of tryin’ to coerce you into something you don’t want. I’m just tryin’ to understand, James.”

  He sat up too and turned to face me, looking every bit as shell-shocked by the suggestion as I had been. “Do you like bein’ here?”

  I narrowed my eyes in confusion but said, “You know I covet our time together, whether it’s here, or in Shreveport, or in the back of my truck.” I shot him a sexy grin.

  “I’m not talkin’ about sex, Rose.”

  I looked at him dumbfounded. “After that, you’re not talkin’ about sex? That was…” I let my voice trail off because I had no idea how to describe what had just happened between us.

  “Okay, I’m not talkin’ about just sex,” he said, sounding frustrated.

  This conversation surely had to be straight out of an alternate universe. “I don’t see this as just sex either,” I conceded. “But we both know it’s an important part of what we are. Probably the most important part.”

  “This weekend…”

  “I know it was cut short,” I said. “I understood why we had to come back. You know I wanted to come back too.”

  He cupped my face and stared into my eyes. “Rose, hear me out.”

  My pulse picked up at what he might be getting at. “Okay…”

  “I like you being in my life. I like it when I come home and you’re here waiting for me. I like waking up with you in my bed.”

  “So you do want me to move in with you?” I asked cautiously.

  “You mean like move all your stuff here?” he asked, his tone suggesting he wasn’t a fan of the idea.

  “I don’t know, James,” I said, starting to get irritated. “You’re the one who said you wanted me here more, and I pointed out that me bein’ here more would be the equivalent of me movin’ in. I’m just tryin’ to understand.”

  Now he was getting mad. “I told you this wasn’t long term,” he said as he scooted several inches back from me as though touching me might infect him with the sudden desire for domesticity.

  “Don’t you worry,” I said. “I’ve never been deluded into thinking we were in a real relationship,” I said, sliding out of bed.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he shouted.

  “It means,” I said, turning to face him, “that just this afternoon I realized what you and I have isn’t real. It’s based on amazing chemistry. That’s it.” That was a flat-out lie. I loved him, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved me, but he would sooner die than admit it, and I wasn’t going to risk running him off with those three dreaded words. It struck me that we were living a lie—a pretty one, but a lie nonetheless. We loved each other and neither of us would admit it.

  He got to his feet, both of us on opposite sides of the bed. His jaw locked, and he ground out, “This isn’t real to you?”

  “This,” I said, pointing to the bed, “is the most real thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. What we just had… No inhibitions. No holding back.” I shook my head. “I don’t even know how to describe it. But out there”—I pointed to the door—“the real world isn’t any part of us.”

  “You truly believe that?” he demanded, sounding incredulous as anger flashed in his eyes.

  “How can I not, James? If this were real, I would be your girlfriend and you would be my boyfriend, and we’re not, because that would make this a relationship, which you’ve made it very clear you don’t want. If this were real, I would share my most intimate thoughts with you. Things that have nothin’ to do with sex and everything to do with me.” I pressed my hand to my chest. “My sister’s dyin’, James. I’m about to move her and her kids into my house. The responsibility of that is nearly suffocatin’, not to mention I have to prepare myself to watch her die in the very bed I sleep in every night. Last night I was so overwhelmed all I wanted to do was share it with the man in my life. But instead I cried myself to sleep. Alone. Because we’ve set these boundaries.” I paused and caught my breath. “If we were real, you would have been in my bed, holdin’ me and tellin’ me everything would be okay. But instead you were off doin’ God knows what, because those are the rules.”

  His jaw worked, and a range of emotions swam through his eyes—love, regret, fear—but he settled on his go-to emotion, the one that had helped him survive throughout untold hardships. Anger.

  His face reddened, and his hands fisted at his sides. “Is this your way of tryin’ to trap me into agreeing to be in a relationship?”

  Tears pooled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “After I poured my heart out to you, that’s your response?”

  He continued to glare at me.

  Leaning back my head, I released a long groan. Once I’d let my frustration out, I leveled my head to face him, stating in a calm, but direct tone, “You made your terms clear from the very beginning—no relationship. No strings. We agreed to have a fling until one of us decides we don’t want it anymore. I agreed to that, James. I had no problem with that.” Anger seeped into my words as I pointed my finger at him. “The fact you’re standin’ there accusin’ me of tryin’ to trap you into anything else is insulting and degrading.”

  Indecision flickered in his eyes as I stomped to the foot of the bed and picked up my underwear and skirt.

  Hot fury filled my words. “For the record, James Malcolm, I will never stoop so low as to trick a man into bein’ in a relationship with me. You either want me or you don’t, and if you don’t, then it’s your freakin’ loss.”

  I headed out the bedroom door and to the stairs, not surprised when he didn’t follow. He’d also made it clear he would never chase after a woman.

  I went into the powder room to clean up as best I could with a hand towel under the sink. The rest of my clothes were on the porch, so I headed out there and quickly dressed, pausing to put on my gun harness and replace the gun. I found my cell phone in the cushions, then headed into the kitchen and picked up my overnight bag by the island. My hand was on the doorknob to the garage when I heard footsteps behind me.

  “Rose.”

  Stunned, I turned around to see James standing in the living room wearing his jeans and nothing else. I watched him, waiting for him to say something, but it was obvious he expected me to be the one to cave.

  Shaking my head, I opened the door to the garage and shut it behind me.

  He di
dn’t follow me. I would have been shocked if he had. Finding him in the living room had been surprising enough. I suspected he was discovering what I had—that our relationship wasn’t enough for him—but he was too stubborn to admit it.

  I’d pulled out of his garage and was starting toward the road when my phone rang.

  Had he already come to his senses?

  But I saw Joe’s name on the screen. I’d hung up on him just a few hours before. Lord only knew why he was calling back now.

  Maybe it was a good thing it wasn’t James that had called me, though. He was going to have to do some serious groveling, and I needed to figure out what it would take for me to forgive him.

  I sighed, staring at my ringing phone. I wasn’t really ready to deal with another confrontation but nixed the idea of letting the call go to voice mail. It could be important. I took two deep breaths to calm down some before I answered and put him on speaker. “Hey.”

  “I called for a couple of reasons, so don’t hang up on me until I’ve had my say,” he said with a hint of humor. “All right?”

  “Sure,” I said, all the fight gone out of me after my confrontation with James. I was left with a deep sorrow.

  “First, I’m pretty sure Karen Peasly didn’t kill Sarah Freestone.”

  “I had a feeling she hadn’t,” I said as I pulled to a stop at the end of James’s road. “She seemed the least likely of the suspects, and she admitted to hurting her a little too readily.”

  “Turns out Karen has an airtight alibi for the Sunday Sarah disappeared.”

  “Where was she?” I asked as I turned right onto the county road.

  “In the county jail. We’d arrested her for shoplifting the Saturday before and released her on the Tuesday after.”

  “Why’d you hold her so long?”

  “Her mother took a few days to post bail.”

  “We gave Randy a list of our other suspects. Have you started working on those?” He was silent for several seconds and my heart sunk. “You’re not lookin’ into them, are you?”

  Regret filled his words. “My hands are tied, Rose. The sheriff…”

  I sighed. “I know.”

  “You’re not pissed?”

  “No. I know it’s not your fault. Thanks for steppin’ in when you could.”

  “Yeah,” he said as though at a loss for words. “You’re welcome.”

  “What’s next on your list of things to discuss?” I asked, then chuckled. “Before I get to hang up on you.”

  He laughed. “As long as we know how this call’s gonna end.” The laughter faded from his voice and his tone turned serious. “I talked to Mason. He said you called him about the Sugar Branch police.”

  “I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds by not goin’ to you first,” I said. “It’s just… I know Mason could make all our lives hell, yet at the same time, I can’t fault him for why he’s here. He’s tryin’ to clean up the corruption in this county, and we both know there’s plenty of it. I figured I’d show him that we really do want the same thing. Besides, it might give him something to keep him preoccupied.”

  “You didn’t overstep, and I think it’s a good idea. Here’s the thing, Rose. After my conversation with him, I realized the threat you were trying to tell me about earlier is Denny Carmichael.”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “Does he have it out for you?”

  I hesitated, not sure what to admit to. “He’s interested in the Lady in Black, and he’s fully aware that I’m her. He’s also made it clear he’ll be seeking my services in the near future.”

  “Did he touch you?” Joe asked, nearly choking on his words.

  “No.” I paused. “Let’s just say I had an equalizer to ensure my safety.”

  “Malcolm was with you?”

  I snorted. “No. It was me, Denny Carmichael, and the man he’d sent to fetch me, a guy named Clyde.”

  “Clyde Morris. And did you say he fetched you?” His anger was palpable.

  I sighed. “I had my gun. He coerced me, but I went willingly enough. I’d had a vision, so I knew I’d be safe for the time being. Kip Wagner supposedly had a file on me. It was stolen, and Denny Carmichael bought it from Charlene Nelson.”

  “The woman who died in the trailer fire a few weeks ago?” He started to put the pieces together. “Jesus Christ. She was murdered.”

  “I’m 99.9% certain Denny killed her. He denied it, but he seemed pretty pleased when I accused him of it.”

  “You accused him of it?”

  I sighed again. My adrenaline was crashing after my argument with James as well as our… interaction before. “He dragged me there to meet the Lady in Black. I had to act the part. Lady doesn’t back down when she’s threatened by criminals. She stands her ground.”

  “What about Rose Gardner?” he asked.

  I hesitated. “Back in the beginning, they were two separate entities, but over last winter, I became more like her. We’re one and the same now. I don’t back down. I don’t show fear. Fear will only get me killed.”

  He was silent for a few seconds, and when he spoke again, he sounded resigned. “You are not the woman I met last summer.”

  “No,” I said sadly. “I’m not.”

  He was silent for a moment, then said, “Denny Carmichael is a psychopath. If he’s interested in you in the slightest, we need to take this very seriously.”

  “I know. Which was why I called you earlier to make my request.”

  “I can’t arrest him, Rose. The best I could do is arrest his man for kidnapping.”

  “No,” I said. “It’s not worth the trouble. He’ll get off, and I’d make an enemy of Denny. Right now he’s more curious than pissed, although I know that could turn on a dime, especially if he continues to think I’m with James.”

  “James.” His name was an accusation.

  “I’m not getting into it, Joe.”

  “Rose, I’m just sayin—”

  “No. Stop.”

  “Okay, we need to focus on protecting you, Vi, and the kids. Is Malcolm putting a protection detail on you?”

  “No.”

  “Why the hell not? He’s the one who got you roped into this in the first place!”

  “Two reasons. The first, if Denny sees James’s men playin’ bodyguard, it will only confirm that I’m sleepin’ with him. And two, James doesn’t know I met with Denny.”

  Joe’s anger was back. “Why the hell not?”

  “We don’t have that kind of relationship,” I said, my voice tight from the lump in my throat.

  “What does that mean?”

  I shook my head as a tear spilled down my cheek. “It doesn’t matter. I’m on my own. I’m making Jed take Neely Kate to his house, which means I need someone else to stay with us. Someone who will be perceived as a big enough threat that Denny Carmichael wouldn’t dare show up at my house.”

  Silence hung over the line for a moment. Then he said, “You need me.”

  “I realize it’s a huge imposition, and if it were just me, I’d deal with it.”

  “But it’s your dyin’ sister and her kids.”

  “And my new houseguest.”

  “Houseguest?”

  “Her name’s Carly and I hired her to help at the nursery. She needed a place to stay, and at the time, I had a couple of extra beds.”

  “You’re an amazing woman, Rose Gardner,” he said, his words thick with admiration.

  I snort-laughed. “I need protection for my sister and her kids from a drug czar. Not so amazing.”

  “You’re movin’ Violet in tomorrow?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What about tonight?”

  “Jed’s there tonight. We’ll be fine.”

  “Okay. We’ll need to make it public that I’m there. Hopefully it’ll be enough of a deterrent I won’t need to use the actual gun in my holster.”

  “We’re very much in agreement on that, but if it comes down to it, I’ll be at your side with my own shotgu
n. I’m a pretty good shot now. We can put Violet and the kids in the safe room.”

  “Rose…”

  “I know,” I said. “It’s not ideal, but it is what it is.”

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be by tomorrow early evening.”

  “Thank you, Joe. This means so much to me.”

  “You were wrong, you know,” he said, his words rough. “If it were just you, I still wouldn’t let you deal with it alone. We’re friends, Rose. I’d be there for you. You only have to ask.”

  Chapter 30

  We ended the call, and I realized I wasn’t even close to being ready to go home. It was early enough that I’d likely have to face Neely Kate and Jed, and I wasn’t ready to do that.

  I was headed toward County Road 22 and it occurred to me that I’d be driving past Tiggy’s Bar.

  Maybe I needed a drink.

  My phone rang, and James’s name popped up on the screen. I considered letting it go to voice mail, but I was shocked he was calling me so soon.

  “Hello,” I said in a cold voice.

  “Why the fucking hell didn’t you tell me you had a face-to-face conversation with Denny Carmichael?”

  He shouted so loudly, I jumped even though he was on speaker.

  “Are you serious?” I shouted back. “After our argument, that’s what you’re harpin’ on?”

  In fairness, he had a legitimate reason to be upset, but I was hurt he was calling to shout at me rather than apologize.

  “Harpin’ on? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”

  I hadn’t thought it possible for him to exceed the decibel level of his greeting, but he’d surpassed it and then some.

  “Who told you?” I demanded.

  “Who told me? How many people know about this meeting other than me?”

  “It was Jed, wasn’t it?” I asked in disgust. “He probably thought I wouldn’t tell you.”

  “You didn’t!”

  “You didn’t give me a chance!”

  He paused a beat, then asked in his scary Skeeter Malcolm voice, “What did he want?”

  The man was a fool if he thought that intimidated me now. “He wanted to know who confessed to killin’ Sarah Freestone.”

  “What else did he want? He wouldn’t go to all the trouble of draggin’ you there to ask you that.”