Intense 2
Page 102
Here Kate was, well-educated, well-bred, obviously self-sufficient to a fault with her scholarships and part-time jobs, trying so hard to impress her father and she never really felt he was impressed.
How could she be so wrong? Ethan clearly loved her very much and was completely impressed with her.
"I hated it – the corruption,” she said. “It was so hard. Painful. As soon as I could, I changed my topic. I couldn't do it. I'm not strong enough, but he can't see that because it would mean his daughter isn't up to snuff."
"You saw the worst of the worst." I turned to her, trying to catch her eye. "Where the people have resources, they're full of hope. I see it in the hospitals. The young doctors and nurses – they've been trained in America and they want to raise their countries out of poverty."
I leaned against her again, trying to nudge her into feeling better, thinking that she needed some affection at that moment. Of course, she didn’t respond, but I thought I felt something between us. Something cracked just a bit in her reserved and tightly controlled demeanor.
"I admire you for going. You didn't have to so that does say something about you, what makes you 'tick'."
"You'd be wrong to think that." Her voice was bitter. "My father has no idea what makes me 'tick'. He practically chose my thesis topic and arranged everything. I wanted to do something on the fine arts, but no. It had to be political."
I frowned. "Your father chose your honors thesis topic?" I was shocked that Ethan had intervened so deeply in her life that he would choose her thesis topic. That went a bit too far. My father barely heard me talk about my schooling, my courses, my career path. Her father was practically engineering it for her.
"You're surprised?" She turned away. "You obviously don't know my father."
I thought I knew Ethan pretty well as a man and by the way he talked about his children, as a father. He seemed totally smitten with his daughter, speaking of her to me whenever we met. He was clearly proud of her accomplishments.
Was he too controlling? If so, she seemed to resent it . I’d have to watch myself with her if that was the case. Many submissives loved to have their Dominant make all the decisions – in all aspects of their lives together. It gave them some relief. Kate must not be that submissive if it bothered her so much. I’d have to give her a lot of freedom if we were going to be a couple.
I corrected myself. If we were going to be play partners. And we were going to be play partners. I was more determined than ever.
"What did you want to do?"
She didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, she sighed. "What did I want to do? I wanted to do a series on young artists in Manhattan, and how they're using social media and new technology in their art, but that was too 'airy-fairy' for him, as he put it. He only sees art for its value as an investment, not for its social or cultural value. I tried to explain but he just dismissed me. I was too much of a chicken to fight him and do what I really wanted."
That was the kicker. She saw herself as weak and afraid, not making her own decisions.
"I'm sorry. University should be a time when you explore who you are and what excites you. It shouldn't be a time to please your parents."
Of course, I had tried to please my father almost all my life, even finishing high school early through the accelerated program for gifted students. I had planned on going into Medical School, but when he went away for six months, leaving me with a housekeeper when I was only fourteen, I gave up on that and decided to do an undergrad degree in Psychology. Of course, I changed my mind when I realized that I was as interested in medicine as my father had been. That was one thing he instilled in me – a love of science and of medicine.
So we both had father issues. It was one more thing we had in common. A point of identification.
Then, our eyes met and she looked at me for perhaps the first time since we met. Really looked in my eyes. We connected in a way that we never had until then and I felt it right in my gut and in my dick.
I smiled at her, a little surprised that I felt such empathy for her all of a sudden. It felt a bit like standing at the edge of a precipice.
The door opened and Ethan popped his head just inside.
"Oh, here you are," he said and smiled. "I thought you two might have a lot in common. Sorry to interrupt, but my dear wife has announced that dinner is served."
CHAPTER THREE
Dinner was amusing.
Ethan sat me to his right and Kate beside me. I felt a stab of warmth for the man at giving me such a privileged position at his table. The rest of his group of supporters were seated around the large table in the formal dining room, with Elaine sitting at the other end, entertaining them all and Heath and his wife across from us.
I could almost feel Kate bristle beside me, angry that she had been assigned a seat beside me. I smiled at her barely concealed anger as I pulled out her chair. While she was upset, I was extremely happy with the arrangements. I enjoyed myself immensely, drinking the wonderful wine Ethan served, the food delicious, and Ethan’s conversation about politics engaging.
Kate ate in silence, and despite how Ethan tried to force her to make conversation, she politely refused, answering his questions in a monotone, with single word replies.
But at one point, she glanced sideways at me and when our eyes met, there was this expression in hers that I found hard to place. If I hadn’t been so aware of how unhappy she was with my presence and how it unnerved her that her father was so openly and delightedly trying to match us, I would have thought it was some kind of dark lust I saw in her eyes. I felt it again – this connection with her that made my heart jump.
I held her gaze, unable to look away, hoping I wasn’t mistaking that look which felt like pure desire.
Whatever that look meant, I felt it in my groin. For a moment, I had this insane desire to drag her to the washroom just off her bedroom and fuck her while facing the mirror, thrusting hard and fast until we both came, watching each other’s faces.
When she finally glanced away, her cheeks red, I did as well, a bit unnerved once more by this woman beside me. Something in my brain kept saying Choose me… Which was completely the opposite of how I found new submissives. It was usually the other way around with them wanting me to pick them.
I took a long drink of wine, needing it to quell the feeling in my gut that bordered on desperation.
I didn’t do desperation.
When the serving personnel came to remove our dessert plates and coffee cups, Ethan stood and cleared his throat, drawing the guests’ attention.
“Now, if everyone here to discuss politics could join me in my study, we’ll get down to the real business.”
At that, Kate almost sprang up as if she couldn’t wait to escape.
I caught up with her at the door to the hall and took her arm. "Can we talk later?"
She glanced at my hand on her arm as if it offended her, but I wasn’t going to give in that easily.
"We have nothing to talk about."
"Please?” I said, my voice soft. “Just hear me out."
She hesitated. "I was going to leave after we 'ladies' have our tea."
"Okay. I'll come by your place,” I said, hoping she’d decide to wait and talk to me to avoid such an encounter. “Can we talk inside your apartment instead of through the door this time?"
She responded as I expected, her jaw tightening. No. She wanted to avoid me showing up at her place.
"I'd rather you didn't come to my apartment."
"Fine," I said, smiling to myself. "Why don't you wait for me and I'll give you a ride home when we're done here."
Ethan stood at the door and looked at Kate expectantly. “Hey, sweetie, you're detaining Drake. We have important business to attend to."
Kate looked between Ethan and me and so I nodded, not wanting to delay Ethan.
"We'll just speak in the car." I held up three fingers. "I won't come in. I promise. Scout's Honor."
She looked exasperat
ed but she finally gave in, probably thinking it was better than having me show up unannounced. "Very well."
I let go of her arm and joined Ethan as he walked with a group of his guests back to the study. He slipped an arm around my shoulder and I felt warm at his show of affection.
If he only knew how much I was fantasizing about his beautiful beloved daughter, and what plans I had for her sexual pleasure, I wasn’t so sure he’d be as friendly.
The talk around the table was about Ethan’s candidacy for the open seat and what party powerhouses we could get on board. I admitted to being a lightweight in the group, but was glad to be invited to take part. It would provide me with an education about how real politics worked, and besides, I loved Ethan like a father.
Once we were done with the discussion and pulled out our checkbooks to make a personal donation to the campaign, I shook hands with everyone once more, accepted a few invitations to play racquetball at the club or join them for drinks. Then, I made my way out of Ethan’s study, hoping that Kate decided to stay behind and wait for me. Ethan grabbed me before I left, and held me back while the others left.
“Thanks for your support,” Ethan said, one hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure your father would hate to see you working behind the scenes at a Republican strategy session, but I’m really honored to have you as one of my supporters.”
I shook my head and smiled at him. “There could never be any doubt that I’d support you, with my vote and checkbook. I know you’ll make a great Congressman.”
He led me out of the study and down the hall to the living room where Elaine, Christie and Kate were seated. I was relieved that Kate stayed behind. It reinforced that she was interested after all, despite her reticence. I buttoned my jacket and entered the living room.
Ethan seemed interested in delaying my departure and leaned in close.
“Can you give my irritatingly independent daughter a lift home? She insists on taking the bus or subway, but I don’t like to see her out late at night all alone.”
“Of course,” I said, taking my coat from the closet. “I’d be pleased to give her a ride home.”
Kate stood and after kissing Elaine on the cheek, she came over to us.
“What are you two conspiring about?" she kissed Ethan’s cheek and gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher.
"Us? Conspire?" Ethan laughed. "Just how to take over the world." He smiled and glanced at me. After one last goodbye, I opened the door and led her to the elevator.
"I didn't think you'd actually wait for me." I pressed the button. "I thought you'd be long gone, so I'm pleasantly surprised."
"I said I'd wait." I could see her brow furrow as she stood beside me, buttoning her coat.
The door to the elevator opened and Kate entered first. I stood behind her and leaned past her to push the button for the basement. I couldn’t help but remember a passage in those books about elevators and smiled to myself.
"Why are you smiling?" she said, bristling just a bit as if she knew precisely why.
"Oh, let's just say that I have a hard time riding alone in elevators with pretty women and keeping a straight face these days."
"Don't get any ideas."
I chuckled out loud. "Kate, I've already had so many ideas. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
She said nothing in reply, as if trying to avoid the conversation entirely.
I helped her into my car once we arrived at the garage level and got in the driver’s side, still smiling, waiting her out.
"Well, talk away," she said finally, reluctance in her voice.
I drove out of the garage and onto the streets bordering Ethan’s building. I’d already been formulating my appeal in my mind as we drove.
"I know it really upset you that I'm the one Lara was trying to match you with for your 'research'. You wanted anonymity and are embarrassed that I know who you are. I think we should still go through with the agreement you wanted – for one reason. Who could be safer than me?"
"How are you safe?"
I glanced at her, to check her expression. She was frowning. She was still afraid her father would find out she was interested in kink. She had to know I was as well.
"I know and admire your father, so there's no way I'd want to screw things up with him. I admire you and don't want you to think less of me than you probably already do. I understand your need for anonymity, at least, for no one to find out what you're doing. You understand my need for secrecy, too. We're not going to expose each other."
She said nothing as we drove down the street, unable to counter my logic, her face turned away from me as she watched out the window.
"Look,” I said, trying once more to let her know that I was safe. “I know you're worried about your father finding out about your interest in BDSM but I'm well-respected in my field and I don’t want to screw that up. If people found out I frequent fetish nights and have submissives, it would hurt my reputation. You want to learn about the lifestyle and understand female submissives and male Dominants? I can help you,” I said as we stopped at a light. “We can pretend to be dating, and that way there'd be no reason that we couldn’t be seen together. We wouldn’t have to make up excuses in case anyone found us together. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. We can write it all out, formally in an agreement, and I'll stick to it. The only way anything will happen is if you want it to and specifically negotiate for the agreement to change. I am an honorable man in that respect. You can talk to Lara if you want verification."
We drove along, but still nothing on her part. I was going to try another tack, but then she finally spoke, her voice hesitant.
"Drake, it's just…"
I watched her, noting her flushed cheeks.
She shook her head and then continued. "I'm so embarrassed."
"I know." I took her hand in mine and squeezed, wanting physical contact with her to show I was human and not some kind of scary monster. I also wanted to break down the physical wall between us as much as I could get away with. "How do you think I feel? Your father actually likes me. You don't know how much that means to me."
Strangely enough, she didn’t jerk her hand away as I thought she might. She let me hold her hand and while I was tempted to stroke her palm, I decided against it and let her hand go much earlier than I wanted to. I wanted her to know I could control myself.
"I know you and he don't really get along well," I said, remembering how upset she was at her father for what she felt was his interference in her life. "But he's like the father I wish I’d had. My own father was so self-absorbed and away from home so much that I always felt as if I was just not important enough. He was always, 'Hey, I love you man,' but I never felt it. If he had loved me, why was he always away?"
We sat in silence at another stoplight. "Your father is maybe too involved in your life but as someone who felt neglected, I envy you that. When I met your father at my dad's funeral, he took me under his wing immediately because he and my dad were such good friends. So, if he found out about me…" I shook my head. "I've read some of his judgments. I know what he's like."
"And yet you like him."
I glanced at her, shocked that she was surprised that I liked her father. Did she really think he was an old bastard?
"He's like a second father to me. He's smart and competent and powerful and has so much history with my dad. And he likes me, Kate."
We arrived at her apartment and when the car stopped Kate jumped out of the car and started walking up the steps as if she couldn’t wait to escape me. I followed her quickly to the door, unwilling to let her get away.
"Kate." I took her arm and tried to turn her to face me. "Don't run away. I want to talk. Straighten this out between us."
"There's nothing to straighten out,” she said and tried to pull away. “We're square, OK? Let's just go our separate ways."
I let go, discretion the better part of valor, and she opened the door and kicked the piece of cardboard aside t
hat was holding it open. She slipped inside the door, and tried to close it before I could enter completely, but I was able to get in before she could.
Yes, it was a bit forward on my part, but I knew if I could calm her down, we could make some progress. I didn’t want her to run away before I felt we were on the same page.
"You said you wouldn't come in." She glared at my chin as if she couldn’t stand to look me in the eye and I realized that eye contact was difficult for Kate. It was intimate to her. I’d use that little tidbit and make her look me in the eye – eventually. When she came.
"You said you'd talk to me,” I countered.
"I did."
"Kate…" I put my arm out and stopped her before she could leave and make it to the stairs.
"Are you really going to try to stop me from going upstairs?" she said, still not looking me in the eye.
"I want to keep talking."
She exhaled in frustration. "Is this what Dominants do? Always try to control things?"
"Yes." I took in a breath. "I like control Kate. I'm a Dom. It's what I do."
She stood with her eyes fixed on the wall, her jaw clenched. I’d have to loosen her up if I was going to make it up to her apartment. And of course, that was the end goal. Her apartment. The rest would be a foregone conclusion if I made it there.
"I'm listening."
Good. She wasn’t going to force matters and leave without talking to me.
"Write up an agreement,” I said, keeping my voice soft – the way you’d speak to a frightened animal. “Include anything you want in it, any terms, and I'll sign."
She said noting for a moment, either to confirm or reject my proposal.
"What is that?" she said and pointed to my wristband. "Is it some kind of kinky bondage thing?"
I fingered it, remembering Kwesi, my first pediatric patient from Africa. The Foundation brought him to NYP for treatment.
"This?" I twisted the band so that the tooling was visible. "No, it's not some kinky bondage thing, although I do have a real leather fetish. I love leather, how it feels and smells, and how really fine hide warms when it's against naked skin.” I smiled, thinking how delicious Kate would look with my leather restraints on her naked body. “I make my subs wear leather corset dresses, naked underneath, but I'm thinking of adding in a garter belt and black stockings with a seam in the back." I glanced at her and saw her expression, which was a mixture of shock and a bit of titillation. "And thigh high leather stiletto boots when we go to fetish parties, but maybe in your case, I'd settle for shorter heels..."