Undercover Psychic

by Lisa Freed

  The woman gasped and seemed close to tears while the man looked at me suspiciously.

  “Are you sure? We've tried IVF so many times and spent so much money already! Should we try one more time?”

  The woman looked so hopeful I felt bad disappointing her, but the pings were clear. I reached out to cover her cold, quivering hands with my own. “Adoption, your children are waiting for you and praying daily for a mother and a father.”

  The man's relief and quick smile relayed the truth of those words. He had wanted to adopt for years, only his wife's desire for a biological baby was holding them back. I hoped for all their sakes they did adopt.

  As they turned to leave, the man pulled his wallet out once more and tossed a ten on the table without a word.

  Shrugging, I picked it up and leaned under the table to shove it in the jar, when I straightened back up I was astonished to find Lance staring back at me.

  He seemed just as surprised, then he barked out a laugh. “Ha! Got you on scam patrol huh? I'm always up for a good laugh, so tell me my fortune, all-knowing and powerful neighbor.” Crossing his arms, he smirked.

  At first, I wondered if Victor had taken over Lance's body again, but Lance was wearing light jeans with an olive-green polo shirt with an alligator on the chest, and a crisp ballcap on his silver and blond head. Victor would have gotten Lance a new wardrobe, a few gold chains, and probably some Just For Men.

  I really didn't want to touch Lance, but his hat looked too new to tell me much.

  “What do you want to know?” I skipped the accent, no need to give Lance more fuel for his lousy sense of humor.

  Uncrossing his surprisingly muscular arms, he leaned forward, his face open and honest, pretty remarkable for a lawyer. “Will I find love?” He sounded serious, then ruined it by laughing.

  Yes, we did it three times last week…oops! No, he was talking about love not sex and he had no idea what his body had been up to. Part of me would have loved to tell him just to see what he would do, thankfully, the saner part of me would do no such thing.

  I had no idea if he would find love or not, if he kept being a jerk, unlikely. But hey, there were a lot of women out there that might be willing to overlook his personality fails and concentrate instead on his looks, career, and bank account.

  Fluttering my eyelashes, I raised my head for effect before proclaiming what everyone wanted to hear. “Yes, you will find love within the year.” I saw the old Lance resurfacing, cocky and full of smug-male satisfaction and couldn't resist bringing him down a peg. “But!” I intoned in a sharp voice.

  “But?” He anxiously leaned forward again, somehow caught up in the reading.

  “You could miss out on true love by being arrogant and not allowing love to freely enter your life.”

  “Teresa, you got the act down, but don't quit your day job. You and those nasty cats, sneaky bitches the lot of you,” he snarled while leaping out of the chair, sending it tumbling. As he turned to leave, he tripped over the legs, muttering a few curses.

  “You jerk! You forgot to pay!” I yelled after him.

  Same old Lance and for that I was relieved! Hard to pant after a man's body when he was an insufferable asshole.

  CHAPTER TEN

  After dealing with Lance's temper tantrum, I decided a break was deserved, as well as one of those sausage sandwiches that had been driving me crazy with their tantalizing aroma.

  Closing the tent's flaps behind me, I ambled around the carnival, rather enjoying the looks on peoples' faces as they spotted me in my fluttering, brightly colored costume.

  The sausage sandwich was as good as it smelled. I inhaled it in five large bites and felt not the least bit of guilt. I should bill John for it. Where was John at anyway?

  Searching the grounds for five minutes, I still hadn't found John and for some reason the hairs on the back of my arms were giving me that prickly sensation. My Grandma Anna used to say a goose was walking over her grave. I didn't quite understand or care for that one, but something was definitely amiss.

  A flicker, so fast I almost missed it. Spinning in a circle, I lost it. Then I caught it again out of my left eye, a gray shadow darting between the mingling fair-goers.

  Picking up my gold skirt, I dashed after it, a few indignant grunts were left in my wake as my elbows had caught one or two people in their sides. Oops!

  Panting, I finally spied my quarry as the slim gray shape seeped into the fire hall.

  Foolish or not, I yelled out, “Stop!”

  Surprisingly the spirit did stop, either out of shock at being addressed or mere curiosity.

  As it turned, I realized it was a young teenage boy I had been chasing.

  “Hey, what's going on?” I figured to play it cool and not scare him.

  His long face was sad, overly pale eyes eyeing me up warily. “Nothing, I was just...” He stopped before starting again and changing direction, “You followed me, how can you see me?”

  “No idea, I just can. Can I help you with something?”

  “Yeah, you can tell my girl to stop messing around with Angelo.”

  Oh boy, one of those. Teen drama, even death couldn't end it.

  “Sure, just tell me which one your girl is.” A few words of wisdom and comfort and I could resume my search for John, though at this point I probably should just hit him up for a funnel cake later tonight.

  The boy walked silently along with me back to the carnival. Though he was just a kid, his silence gave me the creeps.

  “So, what's your name? I'm Teresa.”

  “I know who you are.”

  That stopped me. “You do?”

  “Sure, I saw you the minute you showed up. I hope you pitch that get-up when you get home.”

  Ugh! Everyone was a critic.

  “And who am I then?”

  “You're John's friend who sees spooks.”

  Spooks? That seemed an odd and old word to classify ghosts.

  “There she is!” My still nameless new friend tried to grab my arm, but his hand passed right through, causing an all-over shiver despite the temperatures being in the unseasonable eighties.

  “Where?” I looked around, lots of people were at the concession stands and roaming about, but two teenage girls with beachy blonde waves eating rainbow colored snow cones leaning up against the balloon pop stand drew my attention.

  “What are you blind?! Right there, with that big buffoon, Angelo.”

  I must indeed have been blind because I didn't see any teen girl with a big, bad boyfriend who looked like an Angelo.

  I turned to the boy, he wasn't there anymore. Scanning the crowd again, it wasn't hard to see him menacingly stalking an older couple walking towards the parking lot.

  Duh! Brain fart, just because he had been a teenager didn't mean his girlfriend remained one, but still, I honestly thought he had been one of the recent batch of goth/emo/whatever teens and not a throw-back to the seventies or early eighties.

  I hurried after them as fast as my too-big, too-loose skirt allowed, practically hurling myself in front of them.

  “Leaving so soon? You didn't get your fortunes told.”

  Up close I could see they were older than I had thought, at least in their sixties if not pushing seventy. Glad I hadn't given them heart attacks with my abrupt appearance.

  “Oh dear, I don't believe in that silly nonsense, but here.” She reached into a beige fanny pack, smartly wrapped around her trim mid-section, and pulled out a five-dollar bill that she attempted to push into my hand.

  “Madam, I insist!”

  She blinked heavily made-up eyes a few times at me, before looking up at her companion, who I could only assume was the aforementioned big buffoon, Angelo.

  Angelo was a tall, bespectacled man with iron gray curls, a droopy mustache and large liver colored lips that barely contained oversized yellow dentures. At least I hoped they were dentures because when he grinned at me it was like looking at a hungry wolf.

  “De
arest, we can spare a moment for this young entrepreneur.” His well-cultured voice and gentle manner had the desired effect on his companion and she relaxed.

  “Oh, darling, you're right.” She flashed him a smile of such adoring sweetness I almost gagged.

  The smile she favored me with was much much lower on the sweetness scale. “Well, what exciting bit of news do you want to impart to us?”

  Glancing at the boy did no good, he was still staring holes into Angelo's head. So much for simple.

  “Please, follow me into my tent.” Not daring to wait for an answer, I turned and began weaving through the crowd. I caught sight of John and he sent me a cheerful wave that I grumpily ignored.

  Glancing back a few times to make sure they were following, I saw the three of them walking perfectly in step, very eerie.

  Finally, at the tent, I opened the flap to usher the trio inside. Angelo, apparently quite the gentleman, held the flimsy chair out for his lady and saw her safely seated. He placed both his large hands on her shoulders, a gesture that made her smile and reach up to pat one of his meaty paws.

  The boy paced behind them, fading in and out of the small tent.

  Plopping myself down, I accidentally kicked over my soda. “Oops,” I murmured as the dark liquid spread and pooled under the table and my feet.

  “Ha!” Angelo laughed, “Bet you did not see that one coming.”

  Hmmmm...maybe I could see where Angelo might have been a bit of a jerk in his youth. And now my shoes felt soggy which didn't improve my mood.

  “I've been asked to speak to you, Angelo and?”

  Without thinking, I snapped my fingers at the boy who quickly replied, “Angel”.

  “Angelo and Angel....seriously?” I wrinkled my nose up at cutie-poohness of it.

  The two senior citizens in front of me sat with gaping mouths, nothing cute about that.

  “Leave my girl alone!” the boy snapped.

  Rolling my eyes, I ignored him and went back to staring down the gullets of the stunned twosome in front of me.

  Finally, Angelo snapped out of it, “Good trick! You learned our names, you had us pretty impressed for a second there.”

  “Try a full minute Angelo, and it's no trick. Someone from your past has been wanting to talk to Angel.”

  Angel blinked a few times, “Me?!” she squeaked.

  “Yes, a young man from long ago....” I paused waiting for the kid to finally volunteer his name. And waited.

  “Who?!” Angelo demanded, his hands clenching on Angel's shoulder, she winced a tad and he let up.

  “Yes, who? Kid, you want to help me out here, now's your time.”

  “Joseph, she used to call me Joey.”

  “Well thanks for finally helping me out here! Next time just talk!” I snapped. It had been a long day and I was pretty tired of Joey, Angel, and Angelo after only a few minutes of them.

  “Joey is here,” I addressed the pale couple who suddenly aged ten years in front of me.

  Angel tried to stand, but Angelo's big paws held her down. There was no loving smile and a pat now, the old girl grunted her displeasure but stayed put.

  It appeared Angelo needed her support more than she did, he swayed on his feet.

  “Good! The bastard is scared, he should be!” Joey cheered, poking a ghostly finger at Angelo's ribs.

  Angelo shuddered, making me wonder if he could feel those cold pokes. But it was Angel who finally found her voice.

  “Joey? My Joey?! JOEY! Where did you go? Why did you leave me?”

  “I didn't leave her, she's my girl and always will be. That dumb brute Angelo got me from behind and that was that.”

  Murder? Why was the world filled with so much violence? I much preferred the Mrs. Larson's of the world, old souls who had passed and were just looking out for their loved ones.

  “Joey said he didn't leave you, you're his girl. Angelo got him out of the way.”

  “What?!” Angel screeched, her head swiveling to stare at the pale, trembling man looming over her.

  Angelo didn't look so dapper or that good anymore, in fact, he looked like a man on the verge of a....

  I didn't even get to finish that thought as I watched poor Angelo gasp like a fish, his eyes rolling up in his head before he crumbled to the ground, taking Angel with him.

  “Ha! The dumb lout couldn't take the heat.” Joey kicked out a foot at the fallen man.

  I jumped up and ran to the downed couple, disengaging Angel from Angelo's still form.

  “Is he?” she whimpered.

  We both leaned over the unconscious man as a foul stench filled the small tent.

  Choking, I covered my nose and mouth with one of the scarfs, was he dead? Didn't dead people void their bowels?

  “Angelo, get up!” Angel shook her companion's shoulders.

  “Be careful I think he might be...expired,” I whispered. I dealt with the dead, but a newly dead, smelly corpse was a completely new experience.

  “He's not dead, dead people don't break wind like Angelo does.”

  True to her word the not-dead Angelo let out another silent but deadly air bomb.

  “I gotta get out of here!” I gagged, bolting for the tent flaps.

  “Help! Help!” I yelled while exiting and gulping fresh, fried food scented air.

  Several people turned to stare at me, but none made a move.

  “We need help! Man down! Man down!” I waved my arms above my head like I was flagging down an airplane.

  I think a few might have blinked, but apparently, I was somehow failing to get the urgency of the situation across.

  Angel tripped out of the tent behind me, “Please, oh please, someone help Angelo!” she screamed.

  That snapped everyone into action, with several firefighters breaking away from their stands to rush over, as well as a few of the formerly unconcerned fair-goers.

  Suddenly a red-faced John was next to me. “What happened?!” he hissed into my ear.

  I drew myself up to my full five-foot four-inch height, poking a finger toward his face, “Don't you start with me! I was doing my thing and the old guy blew a gasket!”

  “Oh shit! T, you weren't supposed to scare anyone! Just good stuff, you know, love, money and good health, blah, blah, blah.” With that admonishment John dashed into the tent.

  I went over to stand with Angel and noticed a very smug looking Joey hovering.

  “Do you think he'll be okay? I don't know what you were thinking mentioning Joey, Angelo loved Joey and wouldn't have hurt a hair on his head.”

  Joey made a rude gesture, then began pacing.

  “I'm sure he'll be just fine.” I crossed my fingers behind my back for good measure. “Joey seems not to feel so brotherly about Angelo, are you sure they were on such good terms?”

  “Oh, yes! When Joey left, Angelo came to take me out every evening and we would talk for hours about Joey. Sadly, I found out Joey wasn't the sweet boy I thought he was but Angelo comforted me. I don't know how I would have gotten through it without him.”

  I wasn't overly fond of Joey, but even to my semi-biased ears things didn't sound quite kosher.

  By this time, they had backed the ambulance down, and Angelo was wheeled out on a stretcher, with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.

  “Angelo!” Angel moaned and scurried anxiously behind them.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “Here, let me take you to the hospital.”

  “Would you, dear? Oh, thank you!”

  Amazingly Angel didn't seem to bear me any grudges. I was relieved to leave the carnival and get to the bottom of this whole Joey/Angel/Angelo love triangle.

  Joey trudged along behind us as I led Angel to my truck. While assisting her into the passenger seat, I gave him what I hoped was a meaningful look. The minute the door was closed, I blasted him.

  “Listen up buddy, if you want me to help you, you spill the whole story on our way to the hospital. It's a fifteen-minute ride and I expect you no
t to shut up unless Angel and I are talking. No more of this pulling teeth to get information.”

  “Oh, I'll tell you, I'll tell you all about that sneak Angelo moving in on my girl. I just hope that lousy bum finally gets what's coming to him.”

  “You didn't have anything to do with that, did you?” I recalled how Joey had been poking him right before Angelo's nosedive to the ground.

  “Lady, if I could do that do you really think I wouldn't have done it fifty years ago?”

  That didn't completely ease my mind, but I had to let it go. I could see Angel peering at me, no doubt wondering what I was doing talking to myself outside the truck instead of driving her to the hospital.

  I hopped in and off we went, with Joey in the backseat, and Angel up front with me just sniffing and biting her lips.

  “Don't worry, he's in great hands and the hospital isn't far at all,” I said to reassure her and also to fill the silence since loser-boy Joey seemed to have forgotten our little talk of a whole two minutes ago and was quietly looking out the window instead of spilling all.

  “I just don't know what happened to him. We walk five miles every day and I make sure he eats plenty of fiber.”

  That explained the killer gas.

  Angel was quiet for a moment then continued. “No, it has to be the shock of you bringing Joey up. How did you even know about him?” She turned her pink nosed face my way and I felt bad about how aged the past hour had turned her.

  Lying was never my strong suit and I saw no reason to try to sugarcoat things at this point.

  “Well, I saw Joey at the carnival, he asked for my help and he wanted me to talk to his girl. He pointed you out and here we are.”

  “Joey's here?” Her green eyes were practically glowing.

  “Yes, he's been here with us the whole time.”

  “How does he look?”

  Like a twerp. Oops! I doubted that would go over well with either of them.

  “He's wearing jeans and a button-down dark blue shirt, his hair is short blond, kinda sticking up in spikes…”

  Joey interrupted me at that point, “It is?” He grabbed a comb out of his pocket and started raking through his short hair, but outside of a shower and shampoo I didn't see a mere combing keeping those wild spikes down.