On the Edge

by Mari Brown

  I need to go see Hunter, my sexy nerd. And on again, off again lover for the last couple of years. His six-foot athletic build is surprising for a guy who is a complete computer geek. Hunter will help me stay hidden but still maintain contact with my brother. I also want to be able talk with Julie. I love that girl and don’t want to lose her just because I can’t stand her asshole brother.

  I don’t know what I’m going to do about Cole yet. I know I’m pissed. Do I talk to him and see what he has to say for himself? Do I just rip into him and say fuck off? Do I just leave it be and let him figure out on his own that I’m so done?

  I don’t understand anything about last night. When we left his dad’s house, everything was fine. Something must have happened at the club, because that’s when he started getting upset and acting strange. I tried so hard to sit with him most of the time we were there. He was upset and I was trying to be a respectful girlfriend. I finally asked to dance, and the only people I even danced with were Julie and Justin. Then when I looked back over at him, some chick was sitting on his lap. He did nothing about her hands roaming his body, and when he stared at me with such anger, I almost felt like he hated me at that moment. I feel so stupid I allowed myself to fall in love with him. I just can be thankful that I didn’t sleep with him. This shit is already hard enough for me to handle.

  I finish eating, pay my bill, and leave the waitress a nice tip. I don’t know how much money I have left in the lock box back in the room, but it’s enough to last me a few weeks. I walk a block or so before coming across a store where I can pick up a phone. I purchase it and head to the bus station so I can drop in on Hunter. I hope he is home when I get there. I keep my head down the whole ride because I don’t want anyone to recognize me. Cole has men all over the city. Men I am sure have been told to bring me back.

  I step off the bus with two blocks to walk to the apartment Hunter lives with his brother. He is a couple of years older than Hunter and a complete douche, and I’m pretty sure he works for the Knights in some capacity. I just pray he is not home. I don’t trust him not to rat me out to Cole. By now, I’m sure my phone has a trace on it, so I’m afraid to turn it on. When I reach Hunter’s crappy brick building, I go in the glass door and make my way up two flights of dark stairs to his apartment. If it were nighttime, the homeless would be sleeping in the stairwell, making it creepy as hell.

  When I knock on the door, Hunter calls out, “Hang on,” from inside the apartment, and a few seconds later, I hear the lock being undone and then door opens a crack.

  “What the fuck, Kat? You’re on the most wanted list and you show up here.”

  “Dude, let me the fuck in. I need help.”

  His door swings open and he’s standing there in nothing but a pair of unbuttoned jeans, his gorgeous V on full display. He catches my gaze.

  “Sorry, I was in bed.”

  “Company?” I ask.

  “Yea, do I need to get rid of her?”

  “Yes. I don’t want anyone to see me.”

  “Go hide in my brother’s room. He’s already gone.”

  I duck in his brother’s room and feel disgusted when I see the twisted sheets, and think of what happens in that bed. Surprisingly, the rest of the room is pretty clean. I guess it wouldn’t be good to have a messy room when bringing home your hump and dumps.

  “OK, now that I got rid of the chick, want to tell me what the fuck you’re up to?” Hunter demands, walking in the door.

  “I need you to scramble a phone so I have a way of contacting people without being traced.”

  “Bitch, are you insane? Cole’s put a 100k reward out for anyone who finds you and returns you safely.”

  “Are you kidding me? That douche can take his money and shove it up his ass,” I say a little too loudly.

  “Calm down. You know I won’t turn you in.”

  “I know you won’t.” I fidget with the bottles on his brother’s dresser.

  “Come on, let’s go to my room so I can fix you up.” I follow him across the small apartment, and like always, Hunter’s room is immaculate. This guy is a neat freak. He pulls the blankets up over his bed and I smile when he says it’s safe to sit on the bed.

  “Here’s my original phone and here’s the prepaid. Send everything to the prepaid and make it hard to trace. Ping that shit all over the fucking world.”

  He does stuff on the computer screen in front of him before taking both phones apart and fiddling with the insides. I don’t even pretend to understand what he is doing.

  “So what happened? Why are you running?”

  “Because I made a mistake and thought I could trust a guy with my heart,” I say completely honest. My elbows rest on my legs and I hang my head in my hands. I realize what a fool I have been.

  “Did he hurt you?” Hunter asks quietly.

  “Not physically, just emotionally,” I say.

  This is why Hunter and I have been friends for years. I trust him and he doesn’t want anything other than what I have offered him. I’m grateful I met him my freshman year.

  “Do you need a place to stay?” he asks.

  “NO!” I say, twisting my hair around my finger. I’m so nervous about being here.

  “Why not?” Hunter asks me truly confused.

  “Your brother would rat me out the first thirty minutes.”

  “Oh yeah,” he says. “He’s an ass who’d sell me out for money.”

  While he works, I look around at the familiar room. I have been here more times than anyone knows. I always felt comfortable around Hunter because I knew there was no chance of me losing my heart to him. Not that he’s innocent by any standards, but he’s a pushover when it comes to me. We have always been careful never to let anyone know that we were anything other than friends. His brother was probably the only one that knew we occasionally had more.

  I put a stop to my thought process because I haven’t had sex in months. I’m horny as hell, but sadly, the only person I want is Cole fucking Knight. I sigh as it hits me just how badly I want that guy when I should fucking hate him.

  “All right, it’s done. That phone is bouncing all over the world like you asked. You should be able to talk on it for at least thirty minutes.” Hunter hands me my phones and stands in front of me.

  “Thanks.” When my voice shakes, I realize I’m silently crying.

  “Kat, are you crying?” I try to turn away but Hunter pulls me up and hugs me to him. “Talk to him. Maybe whatever it is that has you pissed isn’t as bad as you think.”

  Talk to him. Yes, let’s see how well that goes. I don’t want anything to do with him. I text my brother, asking if it’s safe to call him. A few seconds later, he replies, saying give him ten minutes. I thank Hunter again for helping me out, and walk back to the bus stop. Once I’m back near the hotel, I realize it’s time to call Drew, so as I enter my room, I dial his number.

  “Hey.”

  He goes on a rant about my fucking disappearing act, and then he says the one thing that makes me realize how much my brother cares about me.

  “That was a douche thing Cole did. He let that chick hang on him because his own jealousy was eating at him.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about, Drew?”

  “Oh, Kat, my dear sister who is so naïve sometimes. Even I was having a hard time at the party last night watching all those guys eye fuck you. You were so unaware of it.”

  That’s what last night was all about? Because guys were eye fucking me. Like I had any control over that. I didn’t doing anything to make them look at me. I was completely focused on Cole until I went to dance with Julie, and then Justin joined us. That’s when he let the chick climb all over him. Holy Fuck, he got pissed cause I danced with Justin!

  “Justin sent him over the top, didn’t he?”

  “Yes. He knows Justin has a thing for you, so he got pissed.”

  “Fuck, I live in the same house with him. Why did last night make a difference? I’ve never been anything b
ut friends with Justin. That’s all we will ever be.”

  “Cole was already pissed. I’m not sticking up for the ass. I’m just telling you what happened. He has guys looking for you all over town.”

  “I thought so. I’m locked in my hotel, right now. I got a prepaid and had a friend wire the shit so I can’t be traced.” I pace back and forth across the small space in the hotel room. I don’t know what to do about Cole right now. “Look, I’ve got to think. I’ll get back in touch with you later,” I say before hanging up.

  I peek out the window and see things look clear. I don’t notice anyone watching the building, so I go across the street to the diner and order lunch to go. It would be stupid for me to risk getting caught out of my room. As soon as my food is ready, I’m back across the street, constantly sweeping the doorways and alleys, looking for anyone who might work for the Knights.

  Once I get back in my room, I engage all the locks. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I pick at the burger and fries. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want Cole thinking he can get angry and let girls paw him. I’m not going to put up with that shit. I toss the fry in my hand back into the container, pick up my phone, and dial a rarely used number.

  A deep hello comes across the line.

  “Bruce, I need your help.”

  Two hours later, there’s a knock on my room door. Through the peephole, I see Bruce with one of his guards. I unlock the door.

  Bruce follows the guard into the room. He takes one look around and says, “You won’t be staying here anymore.”

  “I figured. My bag is already packed.” I point over at the bed.

  “Tom, get her bag.”

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask as I follow the men from the room.

  “You’re coming home.”

  “But–” I start to protest.

  “Cole has been banned from my home.”

  “What? Why would you ban your son from your home?” I ask perplexed.

  “That little shit completely disrespected you in public last night. That is not the way you treat the woman you’ve declared as The One. I never whored around on his mom, and I expect him to have the same respect for the woman who he claims.”

  “Um, I’m not sure what to say to that.”

  “Don’t worry. He’s been ordered to stay away from you. He knows that he can only talk to you if you want to talk to him. You’re now under my protection, not my son’s.”

  Well, all right then. I’m not sure what to do with that. I sit quietly in the back of the car with Bruce, twisting and turning my hands around each other. This is becoming a habit since I’ve been with the Knights. I yank my hands apart and sit on them, refusing to become some girl who acts stupid over a guy.

  “We need to talk about some things, as well, Kat.”

  I turn to face Bruce. “Like what?”

  “Well, I have some paperwork in my office from UCLA that you need to look over.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s simple. You have scholarships paying for tuition and books. I’ll provide the rest. I’ll cover your room, food, and whatever else you need while you go to school.”

  “Why?” I can’t help but ask Bruce.

  “I like you, girl. Whether you’re with my son or not, you’re family. I think you’ll go far in life and I’m willing to support you in it.”

  Tears pool in my eyes at Bruce’s words. I can’t believe this man is still willing to take care of me. I thought for sure I was on my own when I lost Cole but maybe I’m wrong. The rest of the ride back to the Knight mansion is silent. Bruce is giving me time to digest and process what he’s told me. I will never be able to thank Bruce enough for what he’s doing for me. I’m stunned that I won’t have to struggle through college. Basically, Bruce is doing everything to make sure I can focus on my studies and I won’t disappoint him. I will do everything in my power to make sure that Bruce is proud of me.

  As I walk through the front door of the house, I take in my surroundings and admit to myself that I’m glad to be back here. I feel safe and loved here, Cole or no Cole.

  A little voice interrupts my musings.

  “Kat you’re back.” Seth comes barreling out of the family room. I stoop down and he runs straight into my arms. I wrap him in a hug. I’m so thankful that I have this now. How will I survive without this family now that I know what it’s like to be with them?

  “Did I hear someone say Kat?” Justin saunters out of the family room and props against the doorframe. I admit he looks good standing there, not as good as Cole, but still one hot piece of man candy. “Welcome back.”

  “Thanks,” I say quietly, still holding Seth close to me.

  “Next time, don’t take off.” Then he turns and walks back into the family room. I carry Seth up to my room. I’m thankful to be back, no matter how much I shouldn’t be. Seth sits on my bed playing with a pillow and talking my head off while I unpack my bag, but I can’t keep the smile from my face. I love this little boy to death.

  “Daddy said you just went to spend the night at a friend’s. Did you have fun?”

  “It was okay, but I missed you terribly.”

  At four, he doesn’t need to know what a douche his older brother is.

  “Cole was mean to you. I heard Daddy yelling at him this morning in the office. Daddy told Cole he can’t come back until you aren’t mad at him anymore.”

  Okay, so maybe the little bugger knows more than he should. I turn to look at Seth and he is watching me much like his brother or father would.

  “Yes, Cole and I had a fight, but don’t you worry about it. I’m back here, and hopefully, Cole and I can be friends again.”

  “I want to kick his ass,” Seth says, anger coming out in voice.

  “Seth, you can’t say that,” I say sternly while fighting back the laughter. As I study his little face, my door is thrown open.

  “Bitch, what the fuck?” Julie yells as she comes in the room.

  “Oh, Julie said bad words too, Kat,” Seth says.

  “Yes, she did. Julie, you can’t say words like that,” I say, barely containing my laughter.

  “Sorry,” she says while looking at her little brother. “Hey Seth, can I talk to Kat alone?”

  “Yes, but Kat, come get me from my room when Julie’s done with you.”

  “Deal, lil man,” I say as he scoots off the bed and runs out the door, slamming it behind him.

  “If you ever fucking leave like that again, I will hunt you down and cut you,” she yells at me as soon as we’re alone. I can’t help but start laughing. This is priceless, her threatening to cut me.

  “I think I might do it just to see you cut me,” I say, still laughing.

  “Shut up,” she says while throwing a pillow at me that I catch before it hits the floor.

  “I’m glad you called Daddy and came back.” Julie finally says.

  “Me, too. I would have missed you so much.”

  “I’m sorry my broth–”

  “Don’t,” I interrupt. “I don’t want to talk about him. I can’t deal with him right now.”

  “Okay, sorry, I won’t bring the jerk up until you do.”

  “Thanks. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to take a good shower that’s not in a dingy hotel bathroom with real shampoo and conditioner and not that cheap shit.”

  “Sure.” She hugs me, squeezing me tight to her.

  “I missed you, too, Julie,” I whisper.

  When she walks out, I lock the door, press my back up against it, and slide down to the floor. Sobs overtake me. That thing is, I’m not sure exactly why I’m crying. Is it because this family still wants me? Is it because I’m in love with Cole and he hurt me? I don’t know but I sit there on the floor and let it out. When I finally feel cried out, I pull myself off the floor, make my way to the bathroom, and start the water.

  After taking a good, hot shower, I dry off and slip on clean clothes. I set out to find Seth like I’ve promised but befor
e I reach his room, the door to Justin’s room opens. And before I know what’s happening, he reaches out, grabs my arm, and yanks me into his room.

  “Are you okay?” Concern laces his voice, but the underlying tenderness surprises me.

  “I’m fine, Justin. You know I can take care of myself.”

  “Kat, I heard you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I came upstairs and heard you crying.”

  I look around his room, taking in all the posters of naked and half-naked women. Typical boy. It makes me want to smile.

  “I’m fine. I just had to get it out of my system I guess. I’ll make it. I can fall out of love just like I fell into it,” I blurt out. This is the first time I have admitted out loud that I love Cole. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

  “Let me know how that works for you. I want to learn the secret on how to do that,” he says, a little tense.

  I realize right then that Julie’s right. I feel slightly uncomfortable with knowing that Justin has some type of feelings for me. I don’t know how to deal with that, especially right now, with what’s going on with Cole. Justin makes me realize that it won’t be as easy to get over Cole as it has been with other guys in the past. This is going to be a constant struggle for me. I need to get away from Justin and put some distance between any drama and myself.

  “I need to go get Seth before he thinks I forgot him,” I say.

  “Sure, Kat, but if you need anything, even if it’s for me to hit my asshole brother, let me know,” he says. I know his offer is sincere.

  “It’s okay, Justin. If and when I decide to do something about Cole, I’ll be the one taking care of it. Including punching him in the face,” I say, feeling a little more like my old self than I have in a while. I make my way down the hall to Seth’s room. When I walk in, Seth looks up from his Legos

  “Kat, you came,” he screams while jumping up and grabbing my hand. He attempts to drag me across the room, but doesn’t realize that it’s only because I’m willing to go with him that I’m actually moving. He takes me to the overstuffed, blue loveseat in the corner of his room where the TV and game system are.