“Let me see your back,” I asked.
Without saying a word, he gripped the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it slowly over his head. Any other time I would have been reduced to a pool of wantonness, and although I was impatient for him to strip, my reason now had nothing to do with lust. I did my best to ignore the vaguely insolent smile on his face as he balled up the garment and tossed it on the end of my bed.
Turning around, he pulled his hair to one side and gave me an unrestricted view. It was difficult not to be distracted by the show of heavy muscle moving beneath his skin as he raised his arms. I stared. It hadn’t been my imagination—he was both tattooed and scarred.
A bizarre, yet oddly familiar, series of glyphs ran down the length of his spine. Their beauty was strangely enhanced by the thick twist of scar tissue defacing both of his shoulder blades. I could feel my eyebrows pull together as I stared at them. The tattooing I could understand, but what type of mutilation would leave such a cruel disfigurement? My hands began to tremble.
“How could I not have known about that?” I asked him. “How could I not have felt your scars?”
“You thought me perfect. I did not want to disillusion you.”
“Yeah, but . . . how?”
Turning back to face me, Gabriel folded his arms. My heart did its usual dance at seeing his biceps flex. He made no effort to retrieve his T-shirt, and I’m not ashamed to admit redressing him wasn’t my number-one priority. “It was a simple matter of letting you see only what you wanted to.”
“Were you messing with my head? Some sort of auto-suggestion thing?”
“No. The manipulation was only over my own body.” He turned back around and as I stared, open-mouthed, both the tattooing and the scars disappeared, leaving his back smooth and, well . . . perfect. He faced me again. “But now that you know the truth, I cannot maintain the illusion for very long.”
“That’s okay, I can deal with it.” I wasn’t going to admit that the perfection of his body had actually been a little intimidating. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what else he was hiding from me, but common sense said I might be better off not knowing. Not until I absolutely had to. However, there was something I wasn’t going to ignore. “But why did you lie about my tattoo? Why wouldn’t you tell me what it meant? That it matched yours?”
“Rowan—you had just given me your virginity! Do you really think that was the appropriate time to explain you had my name tattooed on your ass? Besides,” he continued, “I thought you were the one who was being deceptive until I realized you thought it was nothing more than a pretty design.”
His argument had merit, and in all honesty, I probably would have done the same thing in his place. Blowing out an impatient breath, I jabbed the air with my finger, indicating his own inking. “So what does it all mean?”
“It tells how I came to be.”
Great, now he was being cryptic. “And how was that?”
He gave me an odd look. “It is a story for another time.”
“And the scars? Are they also for another time?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “It is the same story.”
Well, that sucked. If I’d thought that everything I’d been through those past twenty-four hours now qualified me for an all-access pass to the world of vampires, I’d figured wrong. There were still some pretty big areas of uncharted territory. There was, however, one subject that had to be discussed, and if Gabriel thought it was off-limits, tough shit. I was prepared to go all pit bull on him.
I looked at him; wanting to be sure I had his full attention before asking, “Why did you kill that woman? Please don’t tell me it was an accident,” I said, keeping my voice as level as I could. “I saw your face. You meant to take her life.”
“Yes, I did.” Matching my tone for evenness, he apologized, “And you will never know how much I wished you’d been spared having to see that.”
Any remorse he felt had nothing to do with the woman or even his own participation in such a violent act. It was all focused on me. I had witnessed a side of him I wasn’t meant to see, and he regretted that. I wasn’t sure whether to be comforted or appalled by his concern, but if Gabriel showed no repentance for having taken a life, then he showed no pleasure in it either. And I knew exactly how I felt about this. Reassured.
“Was she a vampire too?” I asked him.
“No, she was human.”
Somehow I’d suspected as much. “So why did you kill her?”
“It was necessary.”
The brevity of his explanation shocked me almost as much as its cold delivery. I waited for him to expound on his answer, but he remained silent, indifferent almost.
“You ripped her throat out!” I didn’t yell, but it was close.
His eyes glittered with an inhuman light that sent skeletal fingers skittering down my spine. It crossed my mind that Gabriel was not in the habit of being asked to explain his actions. If I was determined to pursue this, I had best tread carefully.
“You’re exaggerating, Rowan,” he said, his tone still cold. “A wild animal rips out throats. What I did was use my skill to guarantee a quick death.”
“It was brutal—”
“It was better than she deserved!” The icy demeanor was quickly replaced by hot temper. I watched as he drew in a deep breath, his massive chest rising and falling with the effort to cool his rage. “This was not a random murder, Rowan. It was an execution—and it was necessary.”
There was that word again. He said it like it was an answer in itself, and I shouldn’t need to ask anything else. But what gave Gabriel the right to be anyone’s judge, jury, and executioner?
“What did she do?”
At first I didn’t think he was going to answer me, but he must have sensed that if there was any chance of our going forward together, then I needed to know. No matter how awful the truth might be, if he didn’t tell me all of it, it would stand between us. Always.
“She was guilty of a great many things.” His voice changed again. It now became curiously resigned. “All of them forbidden by your legal system, but the offense I held her accountable for was the selling of children.”
“A-are you s-sure?” I stammered.
His eyes became hard, the bright blue turning a shade of gray I’d never seen before. It was how I imagined the sea would look during a violent winter storm.
“I am always sure. Trust me, Rowan, she wasn’t trying to help troubled teens get their high school diplomas. She enjoyed the reputation of being able to procure any child for any purpose—a reputation she worked hard to maintain.” He sighed and ran his fingers through the thick white waterfall of hair that cascaded over his shoulders. It shimmered brightly, even in the pale glow from my bedside lamp. “In your talk with Aleksei, did he discuss our laws with you?”
I recalled some remark about the superiority of all things vampire, including a form of checks and balances. “Yes,” I answered, “but he didn’t go into specifics.” And at the time I’d been too pissed by his condescending attitude to want to know.
“Well, we don’t have many,” Gabriel allowed, “but the most important is the protection of those who are truly innocent. Children. If a vampire harms a child in any way, the punishment is death.” He gave me a hard look. “And you should know there are never any mitigating circumstances. Our law is absolute. To harm a child is forbidden.”
“But you said she wasn’t a vampire,” I countered.
“She wasn’t. As a species, you prey viciously on your own kind, especially those most in need of protection. As a result, it was decided centuries ago to extend our law to include human offenders, and thereby protect those who are unable to protect themselves.”
“And she was selling children?”
He nodded and my stomach rolled, sending a wave of nausea washing through me. This changed everything, as I’m sure Gabriel knew it would. My hands began shaking again, only this time it was as if I was afflicted with some type of debilitating
tremor. I didn’t doubt his words, but it was difficult for me to imagine the woman with the moonlight hair committing such despicable acts.
“But couldn’t you have turned her over to the police?”
The faintly mocking smile that curled Gabriel’s mouth said he found my faith in human law enforcement, and the judicial system, naïve. “I usually do,” he told me, “once I am assured the evidence is strong enough to guarantee a lengthy incarceration. Unfortunately, her lawyer was able to get my evidence thrown out. On a technicality.”
I didn’t know it was possible to articulate a single word with such contempt.
“So you took matters into your own hands because her lawyer found a loophole?”
“It was the only course left open to me. Sadly, your legal system continually proves itself incompetent to punish the truly guilty.”
I wish I could have said I was outraged by his words, but I wasn’t. I’m not as naïve about our legal system as Gabriel might have thought. Seriously flawed, the process is, in my mind, most definitely not equitable. Whoever can afford the better attorney will, more often than not, win the day. So hearing that critical evidence was not admitted due to a technicality did not surprise me. I just wondered how much the woman’s attorney had charged her for that. I was beginning to understand Gabriel’s brand of vampire justice. The countless young lives he’d saved from future misery weighed heavily in the balance.
“What else is troubling you?” he said quietly from the doorway. I flashed him a look, and he lifted his shoulders slightly. “I know you well enough to tell when you are distraught.”
He was right. I was distraught, only this was something a little more personal. Heat rushed up from below the neckline of my T-shirt and slapped me in the face. “I understand your reasons for doing what you did, but couldn’t you have just offed her while she still had her clothes on?”
“Offed her?” Now I knew he was struggling not to laugh. “Yes, I suppose I could have, but then the message I wanted to send might not have been as effective.”
“Message? What message?”
He sighed and went back to being serious. I think it was at this moment that I realized just how big a deal explaining himself to me was. “There’s a certain degree of trust that comes with being naked. Even if you’re not consciously aware of it, you need to feel safe before undressing, but sometimes safety is nothing but an illusion.” Gabriel paused, and I picked up the pillow in my lap, hugging it to my chest. “Executing her in such an intimate setting also served as a warning.”
“To whom?”
“Whoever takes her place.”
“And what was the warning?”
“That I will always exact payment in full.”
A number of random questions began bouncing around inside my head. “What did you do with the . . . um . . .”
“Body?” I nodded and Gabriel shrugged. “Nothing. I am sure by now it has been discovered by the authorities.”
“So that wasn’t your house then?” I don’t know if his appalled expression was because I had thought he lived in such an architectural nightmare, or because I assumed he would have no problem committing murder under his roof. I decided to move on. “But the police will know how she died, right?”
All the episodes of CSI I’d watched on TV came back to haunt me. How would the wounds in her neck not be thought suspicious?
“Forensics will show her throat was cut, nothing more.” He gave me a look that said he appreciated my concern, even if that wasn’t my intent. “Manipulating evidence isn’t so difficult.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I murmured.
Understanding the bigger picture helped . . . and it didn’t. I was still unhappy about the woman being naked, mostly because I didn’t know what had happened before my untimely entry into the room. Had Gabriel already slept with her? I didn’t need to ask him; my complete lack of a poker face relayed my insecurities.
“I didn’t have sex with her, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Gabriel continued. “I told you I would have no other but you. Making her think it would happen was simply a way of increasing her heart rate. Nothing else.”
Now why hadn’t that occurred to me? Increased heart rate equaled increased blood flow, and I could certainly vouch for the effectiveness of such a strategy. My heart went into a full gallop whenever Gabriel aroused me. I opened my mouth to ask another question, and then snapped it shut decisively. The look on Gabriel’s face said I had pushed him about as far as he was willing to go on this particular subject.
So I asked a different question.
“Do you really believe I’m promised to you in some way?”
“Of course.” He frowned and looked troubled. “Do you truly not feel the connection between us?”
“Not in the way you do apparently,” I muttered more to myself than him.
“Think back to the very first time you saw me in the bar. What was the first thought that came into your head?”
“That I knew you, that we’d met before—but it isn’t possible!”
“Why not?”
“Because I would remember it—I know I would!”
“And you will.”
Anasztaizia had told me vampires could move quickly, but I hadn’t really understood what she’d meant. One minute Gabriel was filling the doorway, and the next he was standing by the bed. I swear to God all I did was blink. I never saw him move.
Taking my chin in his hand, he raised my head. The feel of his fingers stroking my jaw was electric, and, thirsting for his touch, I leaned into his palm. I’m ashamed to say it took a moment before my eyes met his, because I was too busy reacquainting myself with his torso. But when I did look up, it was a glorious moment.
Framed by thick dark lashes, his eyes had changed. The familiar hypnotic blue was now shot through with a gold iridescence, and they stared back with an intensity that scared me. Gabriel was the absolute carnal experience—a thousand and one encounters that I could not name but wanted to experience in the worst possible way. Whether he was vampire or human, I couldn’t shut off my feelings for him. I wasn’t a faucet, for God’s sake!
“A bond already exists between us,” Gabriel said, his voice raw with emotion. “It was created a long time ago, and is one that cannot be broken by either human or vampire law. I gave myself to you then, completely and without hesitation, and I do so again.”
As he stroked my cheek, I felt a faint tremble in his fingers. Words filled my head, words he had spoken to me the last time I’d been in his arms.
I am a Vampire’s Promise . . . given by word . . . accepted by deed . . . and bound by ritual to keep safe that which has been surrendered.
“Yes,” he murmured, “indeed you are.”
“But I don’t understand what it means.”
“And I cannot tell you.” A flash of pain flared in his eyes. “The memory must return of its own accord or it will carry no weight.”
I punched the pillow in frustration. “Shit! Why can’t I remember any of it?”
“You will,” Gabriel promised. “Now that you truly know who I am, it will come back to you.” I searched his face, wishing I could be as certain. “Perhaps,” he said with a smile, “you just need the right incentive.”
Leaning down, he kissed me.
His tongue was a magnificent distraction inside my mouth. Teasing and tasting, it filled me with a sensual longing as he took all I had to give. Slowly pulling back, I felt Gabriel draw my lower lip into his mouth, scraping the swollen inner skin with his teeth. It wasn’t until I felt a sharp prick that I realized he’d dropped his fangs. Blood welled up, and I gasped as Gabriel’s tongue swept over the puncture as he lapped up my blood. He made a noise deep in the back of his throat, a sound that was definitely more purr than growl, and it sent a wave of unimaginable pleasure rippling through me.
My hands reached out and gripped his upper arms. My head was spinning, and I felt dizzy. I tried opening my eyes, but my eyelashes seemed to
have locked themselves together. Gabriel released my mouth, pressing his lips lightly against my forehead as he laid me down on the pillows. I let go of my hold on him, but caught his hand and entwined our fingers.
I was looking down a dark tunnel. One that was filled with secrets and answers. One that I had to walk through, trusting there would be a light at the other end to guide me. I felt an awareness course through me, like nothing I had ever felt before. It filled me with a different type of desire. Something far beyond physical craving. The hunger I felt for Gabriel now had a different taste. It was richer and went far deeper. I couldn’t articulate what I was feeling, but as I opened my eyes, I could see Gabriel felt it too. In his face I saw an understanding that had not been there before. Whatever it was that existed between us had taken a pivotal step forward.
Loosening his fingers from my grasp, Gabriel took my hand and held it against his chest. His skin was hot, almost feverish, but as my fingers laid over his breastbone I felt a warmth enter them—a warmth that sparked and glowed, moving through my hand, spiraling down my arm, and entering my body. It infused every muscle, every nerve ending, and every pore of my being with a sense of belonging. I was saturated with the essence of him, joined in such a way that any meaningful separation would bring nothing less than complete and utter desolation.
Being linked to another living, breathing individual had never felt so right, and with that realization came a moment of absolute clarity. I was bound to Gabriel by word and deed and ritual, but there was something else I was aware of. I was also bound to Gabriel by choice. My choice.
I had designated him as the only male I would ever give myself to.
I couldn’t say how or when it had happened, but I knew with an unshakable certainty that it had. In a sudden intuitive leap I saw the threads of my life entwined with his, as they always had been, for as far back down that dark tunnel as I could see. And somewhere in there was the reason why. Like two halves of anything, we were complete only when brought together. As opposites, we had found a way to bridge the dark between us. I didn’t know how such a thing was possible, but I wasn’t going to deny it had happened.
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