KC Frantzen - May the K9 Spy 01 - May on the Way: How I Become a K9 Spy

by KC Frantzen

“Grrrrr.”

  “May. Give-me-the-ball-please.”

  Okayyy. But let’s play s’more!

  Mom starts walking towards the kitchen and tosses the ball. I fly past her feet, ambushing it after one bounce off the pantry door. When I look up Mom says, “What I admire most about Sassy is that she had a terrible life and yet, she approached us with that winning smile and a great attitude. How could she know that was the exact day things would change for her? But she was willing and God proved faithful. Now they’re coming for a visit! I can’t wait!”

  Me neither. I hope they’ll be ready to play!

  “Now go put the ball away. I need to open a few windows and finish in here.”

  Awh, Mommmmm.

  THEY’RE HERE! THEY’RE HERE!” squeals Hans. “AAAAaaaOOOOooohhhh.”

  I’m on my way to join him dancing and prancing at the open front window, when I hear Mom calling from the kitchen. “Hans, you’ll wake the dead. But you’re right, pup. It’s Sandy and Sassaroon!”

  When I look out, I notice April on inspection duty. Sandy swings the vehicle door carefully, (to avoid smacking April?) and extends her hand.

  “Oh, it is you Miss Sandy. Greetings.”

  Sandy steps out. “Good afternoon, April. You’re looking wonderful.”

  “Thank you!” My sister beams and gently wags her tail.

  “Your colleague is anticipating a good visit. It appears you are doing a fine job. Keep up the good work.”

  “AAAAaaaooooOOOOOO.”

  “I hear my friend Hans.”

  “Yes ma’am. He is eager to be near you again.”

  Wonder of wonders. Did April just say “Yes ma’am”?

  Sandy reaches inside and pulls out a dead cow skin bag with intricate designs all over it. “Here. Sassy.”

  A dog jumps out and starts wiggling, her long thin tail whipping the side of the car. Thonk thonk thonk thonk.

  She’s about April’s size, but gleaming white, with some black spots and patches here and there. I spy that ear Mom mentioned! Sassy and April stand nose to nose for a moment, then greet each other as is customary.

  April puts her right front paw up to her eye. Must have gotten something in it.

  Then Sassy does it too! Odd. “Hallo Abreel.” It’s a lovely (Venezuelan?) accent.

  “Hello Sassy. Have you adventures to share?”

  “Si. There is much to tell.”

  “Please come. You can debrief me. I have something of particular interest in the garage.”

  Could she mean my birdie?

  “Bueno, amiga.”

  I watch Sandy walk to the back of the car. She holds a small device and pushes a button. The trunk pops open. Amazing. As she pulls out a flat brown box with a handle (looks like dead cow too), Dad dashes down the front steps.

  “Sandy, great to see you. Welcome!” He whistles. “Is this a GKM 305 Roadster?”

  “Thank you. Yes, in ‘Kauai’ Blue!” She laughs and I understand why Hans likes it.

  “Nice ride. How’s your trip been?”

  “No complications, that I know of. We’re grateful for your willingness to host us for the evening.”

  They hug as Dad says, “We’re glad to have you visit. Oh! How unusual! Your lapel pin looks real.”

  “Thank you. It’s a special dragonfly.”

  “We have a lot of those around here. Be careful. The dragons might attack. Well hello Sassy-girl!”

  She starts wiggling again, this time her tail whips Dad’s pant leg. Thwap thwap thwap thwap. She finally stands for him to pat her head.

  “Good to see you. Wait, hold still, there’s something…On your collar. Oh. You have a dragonfly too!”

  “We’re a pair,” says Sandy.

  April gives Sassy a look.

  As they trot away, Dad shakes his head. “Those girls are a pair today. And they’re off.”

  “They do enjoy swapping stories.”

  Dad laughs. “Need help with your luggage?”

  “Thank you. If you would be so kind to carry this one, I shall collect my briefcase.” She pushes the device again. The door closes with a muffled whump and what sounds like another lock clicks into place, then chirp, chirp. Sounds like an alarm.

  “The rest is already in Northern Virginia. We required few items for this trip.”

  Dad looks like he’s about to comment but Sandy says, “Look at your beautiful flag. I never tire of seeing Old Glory billowing in the breeze. It makes us feel at home. I’m thrilled you bought this property.”

  “Thanks to your tip! We’d never have found it otherwise. Remember, y’all are welcome here any time.”

  Sandy starts up the steps. “I apologize our time is brief because of some urgent business. But we are anxious to be out of the car awhile and to enjoy your company. Not in that order,” she finishes with a quiet laugh.

  “AAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Miss Sandy, Miss Sandy!” I glance at the grey whirlwind next to me at the window. Why isn’t he dizzy yet?

  Using a louder voice Dad says, “We’re glad to have you. C’mon up to the house. There’s somebody fairly anxious to see you.”

  Even with all the noise I hear a whumpf. The fridge! Bet Mom got out the snacks. I can show my good manners from the kitchen. (And guard those snacks.)

  I pass Mom in the hallway and turn to see the door open. Mom flings her arms wide and grabs Sandy tightly, rocking her back and forth. “You made it girl! I’m so glad you are here. Welcome to you both!”

  “Miss Sandy, AAAAOOOOO! Here I am!” croaks Hans.

  “Greetings Mr. Hans, my friend. It’s good to see you again.” Sandy leans down to give him attention when he prances past.

  As Dad shuts the door, Mom starts in. “Where’s my Sassaroooooon? Surely you can stay longer than overnight? After such a trip, how are you still dressed impeccably? That cute La Terassa jacket. Oooh look at that great pin! Even your denim slacks are crisp!”

  Sandy smiles quickly. “April is showing Sassy around, I’m sure they will return for dinner. Would that we could, but not this time. Duty calls in…Let me see, less than 28 hours.”

  “Well, come on in this house and make yourself at home,” says Mom.

  Sandy looks around. “The photos don’t do it justice. It’s splendid.”

  Dad picks up her bag. “Let’s show you the guest room, then we can catch up. Right this way.”

  Hans is full volume, galumphing along with her every step. “AaaOOOOO. Miss Sandy!”

  “Mr. Hans, I’ll be right back. I promise.”

  Mom says, “Shhh. Give her a minute please! Sandy, I’ll have the iced tea ready whenever you are. Get settled, then we can visit.”

  As she walks by, Sandy looks at me. “Whose button brown eyes are these? Could this little lady be Miss May?”

  I’ve been trying to maintain my poise. Now she’s noticed! It must be okay to approach.

  There’s pride in Dad’s voice as he makes the introduction. “It is none other. It’s only small May.”

  I stop and look from Dad to Sandy then back again. You’re proud of me? Because I used manners?

  Sandy extends her hand, palm up. I can see there’s nothing in it. “Hello Miss May.”

  I wag my nub and walk slowly towards her.

  Hans barges under her arm, putting his front paws on her knee.

  She strokes his back. “Hello my handsome boy! It’s good to see you too!”

  “AAOOOO! She said I’m HER boy!”

  No way! I race to Sandy’s other side, placing my paws on her other knee. When Hans edges closer, I dig in my claws, just enough to be noticed.

  “Schnauzer-monium,” chuckles Dad. “They are the reason you’re visiting, right?”

  But Sandy is too busy to answer. She sits on the floor and we consume her.

  After a few moments, Dad claps his hands. “Okay you well-mannered dogs. Enough. Let’s let her get settled.”

  We dash to station ourselves outside Sandy’s room. “I don’t want to miss a
nything, Hans. Oooh. Her travel bag is bulging. Perhaps there are treats?”

  He looks horrorstruck!

  “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dare ask. Wouldn’t be proper.”

  I notice her movements, the graceful way she sets her briefcase on the closet floor.

  “Thank you for waiting for me Mr. Hans, and Miss May. Let’s go see if we can be of some help.”

  I scurry ahead to help by taste-testing bites of carrots or celery. After a few moments, I place a paw on Mom’s leg.

  Crunch, munch, munch. That’s better. Thanks Mom. Now that I had a bite, Sandy, uhm MISS Sandy…or Sassy…Who’ll be nearest when I find my ball?

  When I dash by, Mom smiles. “It has begun.”

  Time’s a wastin’. Where’d I put it – under the bed? Sniff. Nope. Piffle! Where oh where did I put my ball? I dart past the kitchen and into the dining room.

  “Mayyyy.”

  Oops. Mom’s deep voice. They are about to eat. Know I’m not to be in there unless invited, but needed to check. I duck and gallop back into the hallway.

  I hear Miss Sandy offer to help. Mom says, “Thanks but it’s all done! Salad, green beans and a baker. He’ll be starting the steaks any minute. Oh, come look. Apey and Sassaroon are supervising!”

  Miss Sandy says, “Pardon, what did you say? A…‘baker’?”

  “Yes, that’s what he calls it – a baked potato. You know how he has nicknames for about everything.”

  “Ah! Yes. Thank you. Home-cooking sounds delicious. You do make us feel like part of the family.”

  Hans smiles broadly and sings, “Aaaoooohhh!”

  “Aaaoooohhh!” Miss Sandy responds.

  It sounds like fun, but I can’t stop. Where can my ball be? I know! Mom said put it away. Has to be in the basket.

  But it isn’t.

  When I pass by again, Miss Sandy seems to study me. “Here she comes. Is she always like this?”

  “Always.”

  “She is truly single-minded.”

  Mom laughs. “THAT’S an understatement. We love her, she’s such a clown really.”

  “She seems serious to me.”

  I smile at her, then– Idea! I know why Hans adores her. She hid it from me! Miss Sandy’s playing!

  I sprint towards her room but hesitate at the door…for a moment. I shouldn’t invade her privacy, but…she’s playing! Wouldn’t want to disappoint her. But where did she hide it?!

  I sniff and search. Nothing. Then I spy her travel bag on the bed.

  So that’s why it’s bulging! But it’s way up there. Bet she plays fair though. It’ll be hard, but I’m sure she left me a way to get it. I need to assess my options. Like Dad says, “What are my knowns?”

  So let’s see, what do I have to work with? Okayyyy. Got it!

  I hop onto the rocking chair, regain my balance after only two sways, then jump onto the table, dodge the lamp, and leap onto the bed.

  Made it! I’m not supposed to be on this bed but Miss Sandy didn’t know that, and she’s our guest…Since we’re playing…It’ll be okay. Let’s see about this bag.

  I pull open the zipper and nose through. Tissue, wallet, keys, pistol, pens…Nothing of interest here, except maybe that tissue pack. Piffle! Where can it be?!

  I’ll root under the pillows to be thorough. No ball. Let me think…Mom told me to go out right before they got here. YES! It’s outside! Gotta go! It’s a long way to jump straight down, but it’ll save time. I can make it.

  I take a short step forward and leap.

  It grabbed my leg! I’m dangling! Yikes!

  Now what? I’ll try putting a front foot on the bed rail.

  Good. Now the other. How’m I doin’?

  I look back, then oh…no…Everything shifts.

  Slipping…on…the…bed…skirt…

  The bag slowly, slowly starts tipping. The huge mouth with its zipper-teeth gapes open, ready to swallow me whole.

  It springs after me and we tumble in a heap. CRASH!

  Oh NO! Footsteps and voices. I’m in so much trouble…Quick! Be calm and think. Thump, thump. Must escape. What can I try?

  I lie flat and shove my nose under the zipper-teeth near the floor. I push off hard with both back legs, sending tissue, wallet, keys, pistol and pens flying. In a flash, I’m out and race for the dark closet.

  CRASH!

  I smash the briefcase hard, spinning it into the air. When it bounces, the latch pops. I dart back into the room as folders erupt, emptying their contents across the floor.

  As I look at the explosion of paper, I notice a photo of a man, face almost covered. I yelp in pain.

  Filth and bars and screaming and worse blast through my mind. Thumpthumpthump.

  Rabba’s eyes!

  From Miss Sandy’s briefcase? Why? How?

  Horrified, I scramble back into the closet as she bursts into the room.

  From my hiding spot, I watch the color leave Miss Sandy’s face. She steps back to the doorway, casually blocking Mom’s entry. “Would you please get a heavy-duty trash bag for me? It would be a big help. Thanks.”

  Mom responds from the hall. “What hap– Well…Sure…Uhm…Be right back.”

  When Mom’s footsteps retreat, Miss Sandy steps in and stoops at the ready. Watching the windows, she bundles the photos first, then the paper. She opens the briefcase and stuffs everything in. She murmurs, “How did this happen? Has there been a perimeter breach? We had no indication of being followed.”

  As she locks the briefcase, my heart pounds. What is she talking about, followed? Thump thump. Is Miss Sandy taking me back? Must-be-calm. Thump thump. Thump thump.

  I back farther into the corner, aware of her every move.

  Miss Sandy cocks her head (She heard me!) as she gathers the pistol and other items into her travel bag and returns it to the bed. She looks once more around the room. “No forced entry,” she whispers. She lets out her breath with a slight chuckle. “The four-footed steak supervisors were on duty after all. But how…Hmm…Something’s still not quite right. I think someone is studying me.”

  In terror, I watch her turn. My eyes lock with hers. No way out! Must…calm…my…heart. Thump thump thump.

  I hear Mom coming back…with Hans. They’re all after me! Well, I won’t give up. I won’t! Must escape!

  Miss Sandy says, “Okay, OSM, you can come out now. I think it is okay.”

  No way! A trap!

  Mom comes in. “Here’s the trash sack. Took me a moment to find one.”

  I burrow deep into the pillows and blankets, but positioned so I can watch.

  “Thank you.” Sandy places it inside her travel bag.

  “What was that you said, ‘O-es-em’?”

  “I called May ‘OSM’. Your honey called her ‘only small May’, and it seems to fit.” She nods towards the closet.

  Uh oh.

  “It sure does fit, and she’s about to be a lot smaller too. Excuse me.” Mom strides to the open closet. “MAY!” I hear Hans scurry away. “I see you behind those pillows. How could you? It’s completely uncalled for and rude! WHERE are your manners?”

  Manners schmanners, Mom. She’s in cahoots with Rabba!

  “Hans, why’d you run? I’m not talking to you.” Mom glares back at me and jabs her pointer finger towards the bed. “And how in the world did you get up there!”

  Miss Sandy is quiet as she re-zips her bag. “Remarkable. Miss May is quite resourceful. She approached from here, then across here, and finally here. At least that is what I would have done, had it been me.”

  Mom always looks funny when her mouth hangs open.

  Dad calls from the kitchen. “Where is everybody? Steaks and bakers are ready. Let’s eat!”

  Mom inhales then erupts. “May-you’d-better-move-your-self-OUTSIDE-NOW.”

  Gulp.

  I hear Hans take off down the hall. Miss Sandy seems to observe me, while Mom fumes brighter. “MAY! Do you hear me? NOW!”

  Flap flap.

 
; The doggie door! Better run for it before Mom bursts. I try one skulking step, then two, then three, then four – into the light. Must avoid a swift kick and escape before I’m stuffed in that trash sack and taken to Rabba and he does…I don’t know what.

  I glance up at Mom, then pick up speed, skidding into the hallway. I crash into the far wall, straighten out, bank around two corners and dodge Dad carrying two plates, through the utility room and out. Flap flap. Flap flap. Flap flap.

  Made it! Wshewww – Wait what’s that? I glimpse something bright yellow nestled in the grass near the hummingbird feeder pole. “My ball!” I circle back to retrieve it, then trot over to chew my options.

  I will my heart to slow, my breathing to quiet.

  What was all that about? Why does Miss Sandy have a picture of Rabba?

  I gnaw the ball for a moment. Mom didn’t kick me. Miss Sandy didn’t try to nab me. She just watched me go. Puzzling.

  I fling my toy, catch it and nibble some more.

  Hey I was trapped so I thought I was back with Rabba, Woman and Monster. Yeah. I imagined the whole thing! Well, if Miss Sandy and Mom didn’t want to play, they could have said so.

  I flip over and squirm to scratch my back, then snatch the ball and stand, shaking it all off. Wonder where Hans went? Sniff, sniff. I smell fear and notice leaves trembling on the big bush. It’s him. “You okay, Brother?”

  “Let me catch my breath,” he pants. “I know I’m with a good family but sometimes…I’m okay. Give me a moment.”

  Movement at the fence-line draws my attention away. That dog with April– Sassy! When we make eye contact she says, in that lovely accent, “Ah am pleased to make your acquaintance, poquita.”

  I grab my ball and trot to greet her. Oops. Better drop it. Not good manners to speak with my mouth full. “Hello. Are you the famous Sassy?”

  “Well ah don’t know ‘bout that, but ah am Sassy. Is that your toy?”

  “Yes! Do you want to play? Later we can go on a walk and I can show–”

  April interrupts us. “Excuse me.”

  “Si?”